Ghost

by Charmaine Ross

  Mum took my hand and led me into the living room. I sat on the couch and saw Elliot in the door frame. Mum stared at him.

  “Elliot, this is my mother, Jenny. Mum. This is Elliot. He’s helping me.”

  Mum turned rounded eyes on me, “He’s still here? Helping you?” She snorted. Maybe the unfeminine gestures came from Mum. “I’ve never heard of that happening.”

  I bristled, and was about to speak and tell her how wrong she was when the front door crashed open and Laura charged into the living room with a cricket bat in her hands. She walked straight through Elliot. For a moment, there was a blend of bodies then Laura’s head emerged from Elliot’s chest and the rest of her body emerged right from the middle of his chest. I gagged, holding a hand in front of my mouth.

  “Laura move! You’re inside Elliot!”

  She jumped to the side with a squeal. Elliot patted his ethereal body down. “I felt her,” There was a note of surprise in his voice.

  I frowned, “How do you mean, felt?”

  “Like sparks of energy, zinging through me. It made me feel…alive. This must have been how Henry felt.”

  “Yeah, well, wait until it wears off,” I said.

  He levelled a green gaze my way. “I don’t intend to start flying.”

  “Just as well. It didn’t end well for Henry.”

  Elliot resumed his position resting on the door frame. It seemed to be his favourite place to study everyone in the room. He could see everyone from that vantage point. Ever the protector.

  “Why didn’t you tell me Mum and Dad were here? I could have slugged Mum!” Laura gasped.

  My attention snapped back to my sister. “And why are you here?”

  “I was following you. Making sure you got home alright.”

  “Following me. Are you serious? In case you’ve forgotten, I have a detective looking out for me.”

  “A dead detective.” She glanced around, not finding Elliot, but saying, “Sorry, Elliot. But it’s her physical body I’m worried about. This is serious, Cassie!” She looked serious and I really had to wonder what exactly my sister was involved with to know about my situation. I hadn’t told her about Charles Cassidy, or about Elliot’s returning memory. I wondered what at all Elliot could possibly endanger me with, apart from a serious case of lethargy if he stepped inside me.

  Mum leapt across the room and crushed Laura in her arms. Laura staggered backward and into Elliot once again. “My baby girl!”

  “You’re inside Elliot again,” I said.

  Laura jumped from Mums arms, swatting her arms, “Ewww. That’s disgusting.”

  “Not as much as it is seeing it,” I muttered.

  “Get out of him, quick. The transfer works very quickly!” Mum said.

  I blinked and looked at Mum. “You know what happens?”

  She grimaced, “Of course I do. I’ve been this way for a long time. Remember? They can suck your energy right out of you. The ones that know about it, that is. Once they find out, it’s like a drug to them. They stay with you, seeking your light taking, taking, taking. I know how mean they can get about it. And now you’ve made one of them a friend?”

  “You don’t know Elliot. He’d never do that to us!” I cried. I knew without a doubt he’d never do anything that would harm us. He wasn’t built that way.

  “Mrs Hunter. I’m pleased to take your acquaintance, but this is as new to me as it is to Cassie.”

  Mum frowned, “What do you mean, new to you? You’ve obviously been dead for a long time judging by the fashion of your clothes.”

  I flinched. Mum could be so blunt. Especially to those in spirit. “Mum. It’s okay. Elliot’s nice.” Well, he was more than nice, but I’d never say anything like that to Mum.

  That was much too much of a bland word to describe Elliot, but I wasn’t going to say anything more to Mum. Mum sunk onto the couch and shook her head. “Cassie. They’re always nice when you do things for them. But they can never be your friend. This is a world for the living. Not the dead. They have had their time and they shouldn’t be so selfish as to demand entry back into it.”

  “I don’t want to come back,” Elliot said. “I want to go on, but I don’t know how. Or where. I didn’t even realize I was dead.”

  Mum’s mouth hung open. “You didn’t know you were dead? That’s highly unusual. What were you doing all those years?”

  Elliot shook his head. “I’m afraid I can’t answer those questions. There was just grey, then I saw a light that led me to Cassie.”

  “The Finder Light.”

  “What?” I didn’t expect Mum to have so many answers, “What’s a Finder Light?”

  “It’s the light that surrounds you. You and I can’t see it, but they can. Like a beacon in the dark. That’s how they know they can come to you and you can see and hear them. That’s why you can never get away from them.”

  Dad came back from the kitchen with a tray laden with hot cups of tea and a plate of biscuits. I hadn’t realised how cold I was until I picked up a mug and held it in my hands. Dad kissed the top of my head, “Good to see you, darling.”

  He turned to Laura and crushed her in his much longer and larger arms. Laura was buried in his bear hug like she was no taller than a child. Which was hard because she was nearly six foot tall. We both got our height from Dad.

  “Do I have a light?” Laura asked.

  “No, thank goodness. You remain wonderfully ignorant. A normal person,” Mum said.

  Laura tisked, as though annoyed. If anyone should have this gift, it should be Laura. She’d spent her life studying about these mysteries and actually wanted it.

  “I know you’d do anything to see them, Laura, but believe me, it’s hard to get rid of.”

  “Hard, but not impossible. I’ll find a way. I haven’t been able to find anything after all these years. That doesn’t mean that it can’t happen. If I could find a way, you could come back here…”

  Mum smiled a sad little smile. “If there was something I could do, I would have done it years ago. But I appreciate what you’re trying to do.”

  Laura bit her lip, “Do you think, if maybe...if you strengthened your gift, you could turn it off and on at will.”

  “Can’t tum off a leaky tap, Laura.”

  “But the people I see, the people I talk to...”

  Mum held up her hand, palm up. “Let’s get to the reason why I’m here first. After that, I’ll hear what you have to say. But trust me, it won’t be anything I haven’t heard or tried before.”

  Dad gave Mum a cup of tea, handed one to Laura and sat next to me. “Laura, you’d better take a seat. This is going to take some explaining.” Dad changed his focus to the middle of the room. “I can’t see you Elliot, but I know you’re there. You’d better stay and hear what Jenny has to say, too.”

  Elliot stood uncomfortably near the door, as though he was ready to run, if given half the chance.

  “First, I want Cassie to tell me what she’s been up to.” Mum pinned me with a not-happy look only a mother could only give. “I told you not to get involved.”

  I sighed and sipped my tea. Dad had put a dash of lemon in it and I was grateful for the slight sourness of the flavour. “I couldn’t sit by and not help. Before you say anything, I have my reasons.”

  Mum uttered a frustrated sound, “They’ll tell you anything. If you can just do this for me. Just do that for me. Just tell a loved one some information they are desperate to pass on. Can you find this one thing for me? Can you just tell so and so I’m okay and I love them? Can you just find my will and deliver it to my lawyers... In the end, you’ll be there at their beck and call and you won’t have your life.”

  “I’m just trying to help…I only thought…Henry was desperate. And Elliot doesn’t remember anything about his life. Or the time in between. Isn’t that unusual?” I had to stick up for Elliot. Mum hadn’t seen him when we’d been talking. How lost he was. How desperate he was. She didn’t know him like I did.
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br />   Mum watched Elliot. He hadn’t uttered a word since she’d been talking and I hated he might think I didn’t want him here. Because, in fact, the opposite was true. “I don’t know,” she said eventually, “I’ve never come across a ghost with no memory.”

  “So, he’s different,” I said, feeling I’d done something right. Vindicated in some small way. “He’s still dead, Cassie. It’s not healthy to interact with them. You need someone who’s alive.”

  Elliot’s gaze was heavy. He was caving in on himself. Actually considering the words of my mother. I needed to speak on his behalf. He wasn’t a man who would do an unkind thing to another person. He only wanted to help me, and I wanted to help him back. “She doesn’t mean it, Elliot.”

  A selfish part of me also wanted him to stay around. That I was getting used to seeing him wherever I went. If I was totally honest with myself, there was a part of me that didn’t want him to go on, but I didn’t feel like being totally honest with myself at the moment.

  He was silent for a moment. I could see there was a war raging inside him and I wanted it to stop. Wanted to make him feel that I didn’t mind if he was helping me. That he wasn’t any of those things Mum said he was, “She’s right, Cassie. I shouldn’t have stayed around you. Shouldn’t have let you try to help me. It was wrong.”

  “No. It’s not wrong. Mum hates what she can do.” My voice escalated. I stood, facing him.

  “It’s driven me to live where no one can touch me. The only things I see is kilometres of sand. I telephone people for contact. I have no life. My daughter has a life. She’s a doctor. She saves people. You can’t stop the work of a doctor like Cassie, for your selfish needs. More people need her than you do.”

  Elliot flinched. I could see him considering her words. But they were wrong. It wasn’t how I felt at all. I had to make him see that I wanted to help him. “Don’t listen to her, Elliot. I can help you. You can’t stay in limbo for eternity.”

  Mum wasn’t letting this go. She walked around me and stood in front of Elliot, blocking me. “Elliot, listen to me. You don’t want this for Cassie. She’s only just discovering what she can see and hear.” Mum turned to me. Her eyes welled, heavy with unspent tears, “Cassie, this is all new for you. I understand how addictive it can be. You can see things other people can’t see. You can offer people comfort when you tell them that their loved one still lives. I understand. Believe me, I do. But it will destroy you. All your hard work, studying, working all those hours, building up your reputation. It will be for nothing because they will take and take and take. Is that what you really want? To throw your life down the drain? They will eventually go where they’ve got to go, and you will waste your life on something that isn’t needed.”

  “No. It’s not like that. I can do this. I want to do this!”

  “Cassie…” Elliot’s voice was low. Weighted with emotion. “How can you really help me? I don’t know where I’m meant to be, but…it can’t be here. Around you. It can’t come to any good…I’m dead. You’re a vibrant, intelligent woman. A doctor who saves lives. You have a whole life ahead of you. Your mother is right. There’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed.”

  A sick feeling swirled in the pit of my stomach. I stood standing face to face with him, “We’ll find out how you can get where you’re meant to go. I’m one of the few people who can reach out to you. Then I’ll stop. Laura will help me. First, let me help you.” My voice sounded small. I was on the verge of tears. I put the mug on the table and stood to go to him.

  His eyes were large twin pool of regret and loss. “It might not happen that way. I won’t stand your way. I’ll leave you alone. I won’t disturb you again.”

  “Elliot! No!”

  “I’m sorry, Cassie. I won’t stand by and watch everything you’ve worked for go to waste. Thank you…for everything you’ve done.”

  “Elliot! No!” I yelled, but it was too late.

  He’d vanished. All I could do was stand and stare into the space where Elliot once stood. I wanted him to be here. If I had my last wish, it would be to bring him back. He couldn’t go back into the nothingness. The cold and the grey. He’d been there for years. I couldn’t stand the thought of him spending another moment there.

  I spun to face Mum, “How could you do that?”

  Mum clasped my hand, her fingers digging tight into my skin. The strength of her vindication ran into me. “The same thing I did twenty years ago. I’ll do again and again if I have to. I’ll save you. Even if I have to shut them down one at a time, until you stop seeing them, I’ll do it.”

  “You’re wrong Mum. I want to help him. I like him,” I said.

  “You don’t know what you want. You don’t know enough about it.” She meant every word, every letter. But she didn’t ask me if I wanted her to do it.

  I was crushed. My chest was tight, breathing hard. “You don’t know what you’ve done. This is a gift, Mum.”

  She came over to me, embracing me, “Not a gift. A curse, Cassie. A curse. I’m here to help you. And I’m going to stay no matter how long it takes for you to get your life back again.”

  “I won’t forgive you for this.” I’d never spoken to Mum like this before but I couldn’t help it.

  Mum frowned at me, “Why do you feel so strongly about this?”

  Why indeed? My mind circled, trying to find a reason. I did. All of them selfishly related to how I felt about him. I didn’t want to voice them out loud either. Having feelings about a ghost seemed…forbidden. You were meant to say goodbye to souls so they could go to their afterlife, weren’t you? You shouldn’t want them to stick around just because you wanted them to, should you? A part of me wanted to do the right thing, but another part of me, the part I wasn’t ready to recognise, a deeper part wanted to keep him around. So I didn’t answer Mum. Just looked at her wordlessly while silence reigned and my emotions whirled.

  Laura slung her arm around my shoulders. I looked at her with a shaky gaze. Elliot was gone. Just like that. I was left with a hollow pit in place of my stomach. I crumpled to the couch, my limbs numb.

  “I’m staying,” Lara said.

  My unit only had two bedrooms, one living area, and one toilet. “We can’t all fit in here.”

  “We can and we will,” Mum said.

  “Mum and Dad can have the spare room and I’ll take the couch, “Laura said.

  I eyed my couch. It was a two-and-a-half seater, not long enough length for Laura’s tall frame. “You can’t fit on that.”

  She gave me a what-do-you-know stare. “I’ve slept nights in cars, in chairs, and on floors. This will be comfortable compared to some places I’ve been.”

  “About that…” Mum said.

  Laura held up her hand, “Help one of us at a time, Mum. One. At a time.”

  I squashed a smile. Mum might think she could help me, but there was no keeping Laura away from—well, whatever it was she did. I eyed her, I thought I knew what she did, but my opinion was rapidly changing.

  “You look done in.” Mum rubbed my hand. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep. I’ve gone through every room. No ghosts.”

  And no Elliot. I suddenly felt very, very tired. “I know, Mum. By the way - how did you get here?”

  Mum sat a bit straighter, a pained expression pinched her face. “Dad drove.”

  “But…you never come here.”

  “This is an emergency. Besides, I can hardly fly.” She shuddered. “The number of dead pilots that don’t want to stop flying. Really, they should go on to their next life and let the living live.

  “But what about towns? And the city? You can’t just turn your gift off. How are you going to cope with that while you’re here?”

  Dad cleared his throat. “She had a blindfold on all the way.”

  “All. The. Way?” Laura asked. Her brows rose into her hairline.

  Mum sniffed. “I can’t see them if my eyes are closed and I’ll put it on again when we drive around town. It’s the best
I can do.”

  That was the Mum I knew and loved. She’d go to any extreme for us. She’d demonstrated just that. I hated what she’d done, but it was motivated out of love. She’d meant well. I’d just have to try to undo the damage she’d done with Elliot. Maybe if I didn’t feel the way I did about Elliot, she would have actually helped. I had to wonder just what it was that had happened to her to make her this way. She was so adamant over this. Even though she buzzed around and told me what I should be doing, she’d never stepped in my way like this. There had to be a reason and I was going to uncover it. However, this wasn’t the time. I was tired. I was devastated and I needed sleep.

  I leant over and kissed her cheek. “Thanks for coming, Mum.” She smiled and I saw the depth of her love for me in that one simple gesture.

  A house full of my family and Elliot was the only person who’d keep me sane. Only he wasn’t here. I was so tired, my brain refused to function with coherent thought. Right now, though, I was beat and if I didn’t get to bed soon, I’d fall asleep right here on the couch. And that was Laura’s bed, not mine.

  Chapter Six

  The faint marking of a pre-dawn sky marred the inky black when I woke. Something niggled my mind, calling me awake as soon as I opened my eyes. Although my little unit was full of my family, there was still a gaping hole.

  Elliot was gone.

  I sat up straight in bed, “Elliot!” I whispered into the shadows. “Are you back? Can you hear me? Where are you? I want you to come back.” There was nothing. Not even a twitch of a movement. I called again, but there was no response—just an emptiness that yawned inside me.

  I sighed. More sleep wasn’t going to get past the knot in my stomach. I pushed the doona aside and tip-toed into the bathroom. I opened the bathroom door and a scream cut halfway up my throat. My heart hammered and it took me a moment to be able to move again.

  I sagged against the bathroom door. “Henry!” I gasped, holding my hand to my chest. “You could have at least told me you were going to be here.”