Becoming Three

by Cameron Dane

  Jace fought against Jasper's hold, but Jasper easily kept him pinned to the sink.

  “Get your fucking hands off me,” Jace whispered.

  “Not until you say you're sorry.”

  Alarm bells sounded in Sarah's head as she took note of Jace's slowed reflexes and lack of normal strength.

  “Okay, okay. Stop it, both of you.” She threw herself into the fray and dragged Jasper off Jace, grateful when Jasper raised his arms and let her step in front of him. She didn't kid herself that she had nearly enough strength in her skinnyish five-feet-nine frame to overpower Jasper without his allowing her to do it.

  She held a hand to Jasper's chest and swung around to face Jace, even though she itched to smack him right now herself. “Not that you deserve my help.”

  Jace righted himself and attempted to straighten his wrinkled shirt. “Didn't ask for it.”

  A hint of stale beer assaulted Sarah's nose. “Are you drunk?”

  Rubbing his hand over his unshaven jaw, Jace mumbled, “Not anymore.”

  Drinking too much again. Just what I thought.

  “I'll deal with you in a minute.” She jabbed Jace in the chest, hard, satisfied when he winced. “Don't you dare go anywhere. I'll be right back.”

  She turned back to Jasper and took his hand. “You, come with me before you're late for work.”

  Jasper let Sarah pull him to the front door without any resistance. “He should say he's sorry for what he said to you.”

  Sarah's heart tumbled at the stubborn honor in Jasper. “He will,” she promised. After he takes a cold shower and sobers up completely. Her idiot soul still hurt for the man in the kitchen, a man she sometimes felt she knew better than any other single person in the world. “Jace won't admit he's wrong in front of you, though.” Gut instinct, and a bond she could not explain, forced the words to her lips. “He's not a bad person, just a pretty typical macho guy.”

  “My bosses are all tough men, and they know how to make things right when they done somethin' wrong.” Jasper gritted his teeth. “When they do something wrong.”

  Sarah smiled and leaned up to press a kiss to Jasper's cheek. “I know, and you're right. Jace isn't quite that evolved yet. It's okay, though. He'll find his way quickly enough and make this right.” When Jasper didn't look convinced, she took his hand and squeezed. “I swear.”

  “I'm trustin' you, and that's why I'm gonna go.” He stepped closer and slid his hands around Sarah's hips to cup her ass. “But if that guy says somethin' like that to you again while I'm standin' close enough to hear it, I'll probably hit him.” Jasper's hands curled into fists against Sarah's bottom. “I know you won't like it, but I might not be able to stop myself.”

  Mirroring Jasper's hold on her, Sarah looked up into his eyes. “If Jace says something like that again, I'll haul off and slug him one myself before you get the chance.” She squeezed Jasper and wiggled against his front, reveling in his hard body riding so close to hers. “It makes my stomach feel like it has butterflies in it that you want to defend me, but I can take care of myself.”

  “I believe you,” Jasper said. “Remember, I'm around some ladies at the ranch who could probably kick the butts of half the guys there, so I know you don't need protectin'.” Twin lines of blush swept his cheekbones. “I just feel it, though, kinda natural, with you.”

  “And that's kind of nice to hear.” She lifted up on tiptoe and brushed her lips against his. “More than 'kind of' actually.”

  Jasper's pupils flared, and he seared his mouth to hers, stealing every blessed thought from Sarah's mind. He kissed her with hot passion, turning her body until her back hit the open door and he had her sandwiched between him and the blue-painted wood. Sarah swept her tongue over Jasper's and licked at his teeth and the roof of his mouth, all the while rubbing against him and the erection she could feel growing against her stomach. Jasper shifted his head and slashed his mouth across hers, breathing moist air over her lips and into her mouth with every taste he took. He dug his fingers into her ass and lifted her up into a rough grinding of his cock, exciting her pussy with a wash of moisture right where she stood.

  Sarah moaned, drowning quickly, but forced herself to tear her mouth from his and push him a few inches away. “You have to go to work.” Hooking her fingers in his front pockets, she kept Jasper close, even though she knew she needed to let him go. “I don't want you to get in trouble over me.”

  Jasper put his forehead to hers as he struggled to catch his breath. His eyes lit with gold sparks in the sea of hazel. “I know.” He closed the lapels of her robe for her and cinched the loosened terry cloth belt. “But I don't want to leave. Not today.”

  “Come back tonight, if you can.” Selfishness quickly ate at Sarah's conscience. “Don't push if you're tired, though. I know how hard you work.”

  “I won't be sleepin' if I'm at the bunkhouse anyway; I'm gonna be thinkin' of you.”

  Sarah's heart fluttered at the natural, kind things Jasper always said to her.

  Jasper lifted his head, and his gaze drifted behind her into her home. “You sure he's not gonna be such an asshole about my bein' here that I end up bustin' up your house in a fight?”

  Jace. Sarah hadn't forgotten about him. He was always in her life, somehow. “I'll take care of Jace.” In more ways than one. “You're welcome here, Jas, just as you always have been. His liking or not liking of it has no bearing on the matter.”

  “Okay.” Jasper nodded. “I'll try to call you before dinnertime, just to let you know if we're good, or if somethin' comes up at the ranch.” He kissed her cheek one more time and backed away. “Bye.”

  “Bye.” Sarah watched her cowboy tread down the steps, enjoying the view just as much now as she had four years ago. Jasper had more hardness, more masculine edges today than he did back then, and she liked the maturity that had settled on him. Shoot, she hoped she had changed a bit since then, for the better too.

  Jasper drove away with one last wave. Sarah stepped inside, closed the front door, and took a series of deep, even breaths as she walked back to the kitchen.

  Jace was back in his seat at the table, and Sarah paused for a second to switch on the light before taking her normal place, to his right.

  The benefit of proper lighting allowed Sarah to see Jace, and the sight of the haggard exhaustion taking over his face twisted her stomach. “How many did you have?” She kept her voice soft.

  “Five.” Jace rubbed at his jaw and grimaced. “Maybe six.”

  “Oh, Jace.” Sarah closed her eyes for a moment as she absorbed the information. She knew Jace understood and accepted he had problems if he drank more than one beer or glass of wine or whatever. He had control over it most of the time. “What brought this on?” She suddenly sat up straight and grabbed his hand. “Did something happen to Hunter? Did he contact you?” Sarah had only received sporadic e-mails from her brother in the last year or so, and it sometimes felt like those came from a complete stranger. “Was it the army? Is he hurt?”

  “No no no.” Jace grabbed Sarah's hand and clutched it tightly. “It's not Hunter.” He looked at her, and a deep sense of loss, as vivid as her own, reflected back at her. “I haven't heard from him since the last time you did.”

  Sarah deflated, her heart aching without word from her brother. “Then what?”

  “Shannon doesn't want to see me anymore,” he said, his voice flat. “We… She ended it last night.”

  “I'm sorry.” Sarah pursed her lips, biting the edge of her lower one. “But I mean, I don't want to be tactless…”

  Jace gave her a pointed look. “You can be worse than me sometimes, so just spit it out.”

  “Fine, I'll say it. I always thought it was just about sex between you and Shannon. I didn't think you had deep feelings for her, at least not enough to make you drink more than your limit because she broke up with you.” Sarah's gaze dropped to her hand grasped so firmly in Jace's. Her palm tingled, disturbingly so. She always felt it all over
whenever Jace accidentally or deliberately touched her. Right on top of that, her mind flashed with the incredible step she had taken in her relationship with Jasper last night, and she tugged her hand from Jace's hold.

  Stop reacting to him.

  “That's all I wanted to say,” she finished.

  Jace stood and walked to the refrigerator. “I don't like that you gave any thought to my relationship with Shannon, in any context”—it sounded like he grumbled the words through a mouth full of gravel—“let alone that you figured out it was purely sexual.”

  Sarah gritted her teeth. “You know, Jace, one of our biggest problems is that you refuse to see me as an adult. If you thought of me as your equal, then you could come to me when something happens instead of sitting in the dark drinking.”

  Jace came back to the table, a tall glass of juice in hand. “Trust me”—he wrapped his hands around his glass in a very deliberate fashion—“it's really not a good idea for me to bring my problems to you.”

  She snapped her focus to him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing.” Resting his elbows on the table, Jace pushed his hands through his hair and left them there, holding his head up. “It just means: don't worry. I slipped up, but I have everything back in control. You won't wake up or come home one night to find me drunk or fighting off a hangover again.” He laid a steady stare on her. “I promise you that.”

  “Are you okay?” The sun started to shine in through the kitchen window, but Sarah held off getting up to go take her shower. “Do I need to tell the sheriff you caught a bug and won't be able to come into work today?”

  Jace scratched his head and pushed himself into a straighter position. “No. I don't need to be in until ten; I'll be fine by then.” He picked up his juice, took a big drink of it, and Sarah watched the olive column of his throat move as he swallowed. “Let me drink about a gallon of this”—he lifted his glass in a salute—“have a long shower, and I'll be fine.”

  “All right.” Sarah forced herself to stand but couldn't make herself leave. Instead, she leaned into Jace and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Take care of yourself, please.” With her lips still pressed in his hair, she closed her eyes against the burn of tears. “I can't lose you.” For so many years, Sarah had felt like Jace was the only rock she had in her life. She couldn't shake the connection to this man, even though she had Jasper to rely on now too. “I won't lose you.”

  After leaning into him for a long moment, Sarah pulled herself together and stepped away. Jace grabbed her wrist and yanked her right back to him. Her arm burned where he held her, and her breath caught at the flash of fire lighting his pale eyes.

  “I apologize for my tone before, and for what I said.” Jace clenched his jaw, and it looked like he swallowed something nasty. “Your boyfriend was right about that. I shouldn't ever talk to you that way, and I'm sorry I did.”

  Sarah's chest constricted, and she cupped his stubbly cheek. “Thank you.” Her voice came out scratchy, catching her off guard. Her thumb inched dangerously close to brushing across his lower lip, and she ripped her hand away. “All right; I'm going to go take a shower and get dressed before I'm late for work. Give me twenty minutes and the bathroom will be yours.”

  “Thanks.” Jace settled back in his chair and took another swig of juice. “I'll be human again by then.”

  Sarah turned to leave, and her attention zoomed in on the wall. She moved closer and leaned in. A gashing hole sat at chest level. She spun back to Jace and pointed. “What happened here?”

  Jace gave the hole a quick look. His features bland, he said, “I tripped.”

  Liar.

  Sarah let it go and moved down the hallway to her bedroom, but as she gathered her stuff to take a shower, she wondered what the truth was about the damage to the wall.

  Moreover, why Jace felt like he had to hide it.

  Chapter Three

  “Damn, Jas,” Ren said, laughing, “if you were a girl, I'd say you were glowing. You've been grinning all morning. What the hell is up with you?”

  “Nothin'. Just happy is all.” Jasper lay flat on his stomach and reached his arm down into the frigid water of Willow Stream, filling a vial of water for testing. He collected water at measured intervals while Ren snapped photos of the stream. They regularly tested the water to make sure all its levels were healthy for the fish as well as Hawkins Ranch cattle. The photos Ren took were to keep a visual record of the waterway and would be available should the state ever want to view them.

  “I know what brings 'happy' to a man's face.” Ren shifted his camera and snapped a picture of Jasper. He took a look at the display screen and nodded. “Yeah, that's a telling shot. How is Sarah doing lately?”

  “Perfect.” Jasper capped a vial full of water and put it in its proper slot in a transport case. He looked at Ren and could feel his face flaming. “That sounds stupid, don't it?”

  “It sounds nice.” Ren took the lead of his horse and started walking down the stream, going slowly enough that Jasper quickly fell in beside him with his horse, Shiloh. “It sounds like you like her a lot,” Ren said. “And if anyone deserves it, Sarah does. You do too.”

  “Maybe.” Jasper slid a sidelong glance in Ren's direction. “I tell ya, Ren; there's times when I'm with her, it feels like the stuff that happened in my life before I came here don't matter, like maybe I could make enough of myself to offer her somethin' more real than a lot of promises with nothin' to back them up, you know?”

  “It feels good to have something to bring to the table,” Ren said. “I will agree with that. But don't mistake having money or stuff as being the same as being worthy. You're still the same kind guy you were the day Caleb hired you; you just have a job history behind you, some stability, and some money in your pocket to go with it now.”

  They walked the stream at a leisurely pace, letting the warmth of the late-spring day sink into them and the sun shine on their faces and bare arms.

  “If you turn into a jackass, though,” Ren added, jabbing at Jasper's shoulder, “Sarah's not going to care that you are now the proud owner of your own truck. She will kick your ass right out of her bed.”

  Heat flamed through Jasper. He knew that, finally, Ren's comment was literally correct. I am officially in her bed. “I know.” Fighting through his natural instinct to cover up and hide, Jasper stuffed down a drugging wave of anxiety and turned, looking directly at Ren. “It's hard to remember all that some days, though, when I hear myself talkin' sometimes, and it makes me cringe. She don't—doesn't—correct me, but I know I don't always catch myself and make my words right. She's so much smarter than me, and when she's talkin' to someone, and I'm listenin', she's so fast and she's clever and she makes people laugh, and I get scared she'll get bored with me one day because I can't be that smart, and she'll want someone else.” Images of Jace assaulted Jasper's mind, a guy living right in the same house with Sarah, someone masculine and powerful, who had confidence and authority…and a man Jasper occasionally caught Sarah watching with hunger in her eyes. “I don't know if all the strugglin' to make myself better is gonna be enough to hold someone like Sarah, who is interested in so many different kinds of things and not afraid to try any of them.”

  “You don't give Sarah enough credit for being able to recognize and appreciate the great guy you already are.” Ren stopped and gave Jasper a quick once-over. “Who also happens to be damn easy on the eyes, by the way. As a gay man with great taste in men, as evidenced by how fucking sexy Cade is, I can say that with some authority.”

  Jasper's blood raced with Ren's praise, and he prayed it didn't show in his face. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. I bet Sarah only cares that you try,” Ren said. “She sees you making an effort, in a lot of big and little ways, and I'm sure she's proud of you for that, more than the actual result. Besides which, proper grammar and intelligence don't necessarily go hand in hand. Neither of which, if you were a jerk, would matter one bit to a
woman like Sarah. It's no crime that your family couldn't help you with school and homework and that financially you had to make a choice to get a full-time job rather than graduate. You don't have any reason to be ashamed. You never did, but particularly not with the life you've created for yourself here in Quinten.”

  “Thanks.” Jasper dipped his head. “That's nice of you to say.”

  An animal yowled right then, and the sharp cry rent through the air.

  “Cat!” Jasper immediately hoisted himself into his saddle and swung his horse as the cougar yowled again. A flock of birds burst out of the trees covering the base of the mountains to the west, flapping their wings and flying in all directions.

  “Damn it.” Ren stuffed his camera in a saddlebag and was astride his horse in mere seconds. “I hope none of the calves broke free from their mommas.” He made a clicking noise and put his horse into a fast gallop. “Come on,” he called back. “Let's go check it out.”

  Jasper put his horse in motion at a good clip, following a few paces behind Ren's sprint toward the thickly covered mountains. They pushed hard in silence for a few minutes that felt like forever. Then Ren suddenly pulled his horse to a stop, rearing his animal in a rough manner, something completely foreign to Ren's normal care of his horse.

  Ren yanked his rifle out of his scabbard and fired a shot into the air, shouting, “Get away! Get away! Get away!” He cocked his weapon, fired again, the repeated sound so loud, Jasper's ears rang, and his horse shied back, rolling its eyes and braying.

  Jasper dug his heels and knees into Shiloh's body, fighting to stay on the horse's back. Shiloh spun and shimmied in the direction of Ren and his horse, both of whom remained steady despite Ren's firing his rifle.

  Calming his horse with the tone of his commands, Jasper trailed off as he saw what had captured the interest of the birds and cougar. He held on to his horse with nothing more than the natural squeeze of his legs as the sight before him curdled his stomach and nearly made him vomit.