“So what do you think for desserts?” Linda asked, crossing her leg over her knee and propping her notepad up on her thigh. “So far I only have the main course. What’s your favorite dessert, Lily?”
“She’s a fan of chocolate.”
Lily jerked her head toward the doorway where Nash stood looking all scrumptious in his black T-shirt pulling taut across his wide shoulders and those well-worn faded jeans hugging narrow hips. His gaze zeroed right in on hers.
“I believe chocolate milk is high on the list,” he added, his tone dripping in sex. “Ice cream will do in a pinch. Right, Lily?”
Lily suppressed a shudder. The man knew exactly how to turn her on in a room full of people without so much as stepping into her breathing space.
“Why don’t we do sundaes?” Linda asked, oblivious to the sexual tension.
Cassie laughed. “Emily will love that.”
“I’m always up for anything chocolate, too,” Tessa chimed in, pushing her hair back over her shoulder.
Lily smiled, excited to be pulled into the Barrington family like she belonged there. “Sounds like a great night. What can I bring?”
“Yourself.” Cassie leaned over and patted Lily’s leg. “Linda gets offended if we try to bring anything to a party she’s throwing. And we’ve learned she’s the best and anything we make won’t compete so we just let her have at it. Bring Nash and an appetite. That’s all.”
Lily glanced to Linda who was rigorously jotting down notes, her lips thinned, her eyes narrowed. This woman was all business when it came to meal planning. Lily knew from being on the set that Linda loved to feed a houseful of people and she was an amazing chef.
“Sounds good to me,” Lily said around a yawn. “Sorry, I’m so tired lately.”
“It’s the first trimester,” Cassie told her with a soft smile. “You’ll regain some energy soon.”
Nash came to stand in front of her and extended his hand. “Why don’t I get you home? It is getting late.”
Glancing out the window, Lily realized the sun had all but set. They’d been there most of the day and time had flown by.
She took his hand and came to her feet. “This was so fun. Thanks for having us over.”
“You’re welcome here anytime,” Tessa told her. “Feel free to come any time Nash is working. We can always use another female around here.”
“Good thing the guys aren’t nearby to hear that,” Linda said as she rested her pad and pen on the coffee table. “But, I agree. Come by anytime.”
After saying their goodbyes, Lily and Nash headed home.
Home. Had she really started thinking in terms of his house as her own? She’d spent the majority of the day being welcomed into his newfound family, she was having his baby and her feelings for him were growing stronger every single day.
Yeah, she was starting to feel as if this was home. LA seemed so far away, as if a lifetime had passed since she’d been in her spacious condo. Just the thought of going back to the lonely space depressed her. She’d never fallen in love with a place—or the people—she’d visited on location before like she had at Stony Ridge. Part of her never wanted to leave, the other part had to be realistic and see that she couldn’t stay forever. Her job didn’t allow her to set roots.
So how could she raise a baby with a man who lived here? How could she leave the man she’d fallen for in such a short time?
Tears pricking her eyes, that tickle in her nose and clogging of her throat had become all too familiar sensations lately. Her hormones were raging all over the place, just like everything she’d read said they would. She sniffed, turning to glance out the window so Nash wouldn’t see her sniveling like some crazy, unstable woman...which she was, but still.
“Hey.” He reached across the truck console and gripped her hand, giving a reassuring squeeze. “You all right?”
Lily glanced over, catching his quick look her way before he concentrated back on the two-lane country road. “I love it here,” she found herself saying. “I mean, it’s so nice, so laid-back. And today I felt like a normal person.”
Nash’s soft chuckle filled the cab. “Sweetheart, you’re going to have to clarify that last part.”
Staring down at their joined hands, his so large and tan and hers so delicate and pale, she tried to find the right words to make him understand.
“I’m always treated like a celebrity everywhere I go,” she began. “I don’t mind the pictures, the autographs, that’s all fine and comes with my job. But that’s just it. I do a job and that’s what it is to me. I don’t see myself as someone on a level above anyone else. Today everyone treated me like I was just a family friend, they welcomed me into their home and I had a fun time without worrying about work or the pettiness that comes along with the industry.”
Nash continued to drive, not saying a word, and Lily started to feel a bit silly.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said. “That all probably sounds ridiculous. I’m already worried about the media hounding me when I return to LA. They hover all over, even going through my garbage to get any morsel of gossip they can sell. I have no clue how to resolve that unless I do what you mentioned and make an announcement during a live interview. But this town, these people are so amazing. I’m comfortable here and it’s just going to be hard to leave.”
There. She’d said it. She really wanted to know how he felt on the matter and it was past time they discussed where they were headed. She was kind of glad her rambling led them down the path to a topic they’d danced around for over a week. The uncertainty of her immediate future was starting to really cause more anxiety than she should be dealing with.
“Do you want to stay?”
That low tone of his produced the loaded question she’d been asking herself.
“I want to know what you want.”
Such a coward’s answer, but she needed to know where he stood, needed to know what was on his mind because up until now they’d only talked seriously about his past and they’d had amazing sex. That was all well and good...better than good, actually, but there was so much more to be brought out in the open.
“I want you to be happy.” He gripped the wheel tighter with one hand and continued to hold hers with the other as he maneuvered the truck around a series of S curves. “I want our baby to be healthy and I want us to build on what we’ve started.”
“And what have we started?” she prompted.
She wanted him to label their relationship. Okay, maybe that sounded immature of her, but baby or no baby, she found herself wanting to be part of his world, wanting to see what the long-term outlook could be for them.
Nash turned onto his road, then into his drive before he pulled to a stop, killed the engine and turned to face her. The porch light cast a soft glow into the cab of the truck and his bright eyes seemed to shine amidst those dark, thick lashes.
“You want me to lay everything out for you?” he asked, grabbing her other hand and holding on as if his life depended on this moment. “I want you to figure out what makes you happy. Do you want to go back to LA and have the baby? Do you want to stay here until the baby is born and then see what happens? I’m not asking you to choose between the baby and your career, I’d never do that. But whatever you decide, you better make damn sure I’m part of that plan because I want this, us, a family. I’m going to take what I want and I’m not backing down.”
Nash tugged her forward and claimed her mouth like a man starving for affection and staking his claim. With their hands tightly secure in her lap, Lily opened for him, relieved that he’d declared how he wanted to be with her and a bit aroused at the demanding way he’d all but marked her as his own.
Nash and his powerful mannerisms never failed to make her feel wanted and—dare she say—loved.
But she just realized she hadn’t broug
ht up the job opportunity Ian had presented her with. She had until tomorrow night to give him an answer.
When Nash eased back and looked her in the eyes, Lily knew she had an important decision to make. And this time her career move would affect the man she’d fallen in love with.
Fourteen
Lily had changed for bed, washed her face and pulled her hair back into a low, messy bun. She hadn’t seen or heard a peep out of Nash since they got home. He’d come in, tossed his keys on the entryway table and told her he’d be back inside in a bit.
That was over an hour ago. She’d given him space, but what was bothering him right now? He’d been so open in the truck, then it was as though he waged some inner war with himself and he shut her out...again.
Was he having doubts about what he’d revealed to her in the car? Was he still caught up in the whole Barrington saga? Perhaps he was worried about the baby. Or maybe it was whatever Damon had discussed with Nash in the stables. Nash hadn’t even mentioned the man-to-man talk and she wondered if she should ask about it or just let him decide if he wanted to open up.
Whatever had him closing her out right now, she wished he’d let her in. He only opened up to discuss his superficial emotions, but when it came to his fears Nash was a private man.
Well, too bad. If they were going to try to make this work, they needed to have an open line of communication at all times. The best of relationships struggled sometimes and they already had so many strikes against them. She refused to let go of the one man who made her feel like love was a great possibility and there was a chance for a happily-ever-after.
Wearing only her simple short blue tank-style gown, Lily padded through the house and slid open the patio door. Thanks to the light above the door she could make out Nash sitting out in the yard on a cushioned chaise lounge beneath a large old oak tree.
The warm summer evening breeze slid over her bare skin and for the briefest of moments she considered going back inside and allowing him the privacy he seemed to want. She didn’t want to be that nagging woman who was always trying to get her man to open up. Even though Lily ached for Nash to talk to her, she hoped he would do so on his own.
Before she could make a move, Nash glanced her way. Even in the dim light, she saw the angst in those stormy eyes. The man held so much inside, all that worry he could be sharing with her. She knew he didn’t want to upset her and he wanted her to be completely relaxed. But, how could she relax when she was constantly struggling with her own emotions and wondering what was on his mind that seemed to always put that worried look on his face?
Without a word, Nash extended his hand in a silent invitation for her to join him. Stepping from the warm, smooth concrete into the cool, soft grass tickled Lily’s toes as she made her way through the yard.
When she slid her hand into his, he maneuvered her around until she sat on his lap, her legs over his thighs and her feet brushing the top of the grass. Her head fell against his shoulder, a move she’d become so comfortable with.
Nash’s deep breathing combined with the crickets chirping in the distance had Lily smiling at another layer of the simple life she absolutely loved. Relaxing here would be no problem at all. And raising a child in this calming atmosphere would be a dream. Perhaps she could live here. Why not? Who said she had to live in LA? She was well-known, her agent shopped scripts for her and she would have to go on location regardless of where she lived.
When Ian scheduled her live interview, she could confess her pregnancy, open up about the man she’d developed a serious relationship with and explain they are keeping things private and had purposely kept away from the limelight.
Could the solution be so easy? So within her reach?
“Sorry I disturbed you,” she told him, breaking the silence. “I started getting worried when you didn’t come back inside.”
Nash’s arms tightened around her waist. “I lose track of time when I sit out here.”
“I can see why.” Lily trailed her fingertips along his tanned, muscular forearm. “So quiet and peaceful.”
He flattened his palm against her belly, spreading his fingers wide. “How’s our girl?”
“Safe and healthy.”
He turned his head slightly to kiss her forehead. “And you? How are you feeling?”
“Hopeful,” she answered honestly.
The rhythm of his heartbeat against her shoulder nearly matched hers. There was so much going on inside her, so many unanswered questions, but there was something she had no question about.
“I love you,” she whispered into the darkness. His body tensed beneath hers. “I know we’ve really gone about everything backward and I don’t expect you to say anything back. But I have to be honest with you because I need you to know how serious I am here.”
When he remained silent a little piece of her heart crumbled. While she didn’t expect him to return her feelings, she’d had a thread of hope that he would. She wanted to know how deep he was in with her, but he continued to be a man of mystery, because she never could get a good grasp on exactly how he felt.
Oh, he’d said he wanted to be with her, but that didn’t necessarily mean love. And she so wanted a family, a real family. She didn’t want to settle for less...and she wouldn’t settle for less.
When the silence became too much to bear, Lily started to push off Nash’s lap, but those strong arms around her tightened. “Don’t go.”
On a sigh, she closed her eyes and leaned back.
“You’re everything, Lily,” he said after a minute had passed. “I had no idea what my life had been missing until you came into it. But I’m still working through some things, still struggling with my identity.”
The fact that she was worried about herself had guilt coursing through her. Nash had a great deal of life’s obstacles thrown at him all at once.
“I want to give myself to you completely.” His hands covered hers over her stomach as his soft, raw words washed over her. “I want nothing to come between us. This baby we’ve made is a blessing and I’m not taking our little family for granted. I just need some time to come to grips with everything and get things in order for us.”
Easing up, Lily turned in his arms. Tears flooded her eyes. “Oh, Nash. There’s nothing you need to get ready for us. I’m sorry I put you on the spot, but I couldn’t keep the truth from you any longer. I think I started falling in love with you the moment you first swept me up into that loft.”
Cupping her cheek with one of his rough, calloused hands, Nash’s eyes zeroed in on hers. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted,” she retorted with a smile as a tear slid down her cheek.
With the pad of his thumb, he swiped the moisture away. “I hope I get it.”
Lily laid a kiss on his lips before shifting to lie against him once more. “Am I hurting you?”
“Never.”
He may not have been able to give her the words she wanted to hear, but she knew he loved her. All those demons he battled internally kept him from speaking the truth, but Lily knew in her heart that Nash was in love with her.
“I have a film opportunity,” she told him. “I think it’s a good choice.”
His body stilled beneath hers. “Are you going back to LA?”
Lacing her fingers through his, she settled their hands in her lap. “Not yet, but I will have to for a bit if I take the role. I would actually do the entire film there. I also still need to go see my mom, too.”
“What’s the role?”
Lily laughed. “Something I’ve never done before, actually. It’s an animation and I’m pretty excited about the prospect because I think this will be a really big hit.”
Nash stroked his thumb across the back of her hand. “And what does Ian suggest?”
“He sa
id it’s perfect, especially since I can record in a studio and not worry about my growing tummy.” Lily turned her head to look up at Nash. “But I wanted to discuss this with you before I gave him my answer.”
Piercing blue eyes met hers. “When does he need an answer by?”
“Tomorrow night.”
Lily’s heartbeat quickened. She’d never discussed her career with anyone other than her agent before. Never had anyone else to consider when making a film choice. This new territory was interesting and slightly nerve-racking.
“Do you want to take the role?”
“I think I do.”
Nash shifted in the chair, causing her to sit up and look down into his eyes.
“What would you do if you weren’t pregnant and you didn’t know me?” he asked, sliding his hand over her bare thigh.
“I’d take the role.”
With a squeeze to her leg and a sexy, rugged smile, Nash nodded. “Then that’s what you should do. I don’t expect you to recalculate your life, Lily. You still need to do what makes you happy.”
A weight she didn’t know she was carrying was lifted off her shoulders. “Ian said recording wouldn’t start for a couple months, but he’s getting me the script to look over. Aiden O’Neil is going to play opposite me.”
“Wasn’t he the guy in one of the scripts you just turned down?”
Lily nodded. “He declined after he heard I wouldn’t do it. He’s a good friend, like Max. And this will be a good change of pace for me. Hey, no hair and makeup, either.”
Nash laughed. “You’re stunning no matter what you have on.” Those eyes darted down to her lips as his fingers trailed up her thigh and beneath the cotton gown. “Or don’t have on.”
The man could get her body to respond with the simplest words or lightest of touches.
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