“You know you’re the only man I’ve let get this close to me since the scandal.” She trembled as his hand continued to glide over her skin. “I never thought I’d get this close to someone again, let my heart be exposed to the chance of being ripped apart.”
Nash’s looked at her seriously. “You humble me, Lily.”
“If you want to try to make this work, you’re not going to be able to avoid the media. Not once the pregnancy is out there.”
The muscle in Nash’s jaw ticked. She knew he didn’t want to be thrust into the public eye. Resting her hand against the side of his face, rubbing her thumb along his bottom lip, Lily leaned in and whispered, “Take me inside and make love to me.”
In one swift move, he had her lifted and turned to straddle his lap. Then his hands were lifting her gown to her waist. Lily leaned forward and clutched his shoulders as he worked the zipper on his jeans.
“Or not,” she added as he threw her a crooked grin.
“I don’t want to wait,” he said, easing a hand between her legs to stroke her until she thought her eyes would roll back in her head. “Do you?”
Lily shivered, holding on tight to him so she didn’t fall. “No,” she whispered as he continued to torture her. “Please, Nash.”
* * *
She’d come out here wearing a flimsy nightgown, sans underwear and she thought he could wait to get inside the house? Hell no. Nash wanted her here, now.
He also wanted to not discuss how the media would hone in on them. The last thing he needed was being identified before he could fully disclose the rest of his life.
The little moans escaping her, the way her hips rocked against his hand and seeing her eyes closed, head tilted back as he pleasured her was nearly his undoing. Not to mention the perfect distraction for both of them.
Damn it, he owed her so much...a debt he could never repay because while she was freely handing out her love, he was still betraying her by keeping a lie bottled inside.
The thought of having her walk out of his life once she learned the truth would be the equivalent of taking a knife to his heart. Because he loved her. God help him, he did. And when she’d whispered those sweet words to him, it had taken all of his willpower to remain silent.
He couldn’t tell her he loved her, not when there was such a heavy lie that still hovered between them. He could only show her how much she meant to him. Once he revealed himself, after he’d talked with Damon one more time, Nash would truly open up and tell her every single thing she deserved to know.
Nash removed his hand, gripped her hips and eased her down onto him. Making love to Lily with the warm summer breeze embracing them like lovers, Nash wrapped his arms around her and tugged her toward him, capturing her mouth. Her fingers slid into his hair, sending him another reminder that he was living a lie. The longer hair, the scruffy beard, the rental home...all of it was a lie.
All of it, except for the fact he loved her, loved this baby and wanted a lifetime with them both.
As her body started to tremble, Nash felt himself losing control. She broke the kiss, looked him in the eyes, just like when they’d been in his hallway.
Those dark eyes held his as her body tensed. “I love you,” she told him as her body broke.
And as Nash followed her over the edge, he wished he could repeat those words back to her.
* * *
The food had been amazing and now the entire Barrington clan was gathered on the back lawn, waiting for the fireworks show that Damon had no doubt shelled out a pretty penny for, considering they’d planned this impromptu party very last-minute. But when a man had his financial padding, he could afford to snap fingers and plan such niceties with little notice.
Blankets were lying side by side and some front to back creating the effect of an oversize outdoor carpet. Ian, Cassie and little Emily sat on one blanket. Another quilt had Grant and Tessa all snuggled together. Lily was nestled between Nash’s legs, her back leaning against his chest. And surprisingly Damon and Linda were on a quilt together, laughing and...whispering?
Was something going on there?
Nash smiled. Good for Damon if he was seeking happiness. He’d been without his wife for so many years, concentrating on raising his family and climbing to the top of the horse racing industry.
Nash rested a hand on Lily’s stomach. He would do the same thing for his child. Nash wanted to give his baby, and Lily, everything they deserved and more.
She’d already made plans to visit her mother this coming weekend. Nash figured while she was gone, he could have a heart-to-heart with Damon and come clean with him.
He kept telling himself he was waiting on the right opportunity. No other time would work to his benefit except while Lily was gone. He could only hurt so many people at a time without crumbling himself. And he had to remain strong or he’d never be able to fight to keep what was his.
When the first spark and boom lit up the sky, Emily squealed and jumped to her feet. “Look! Look!”
Nash watched the adorable toddler with bouncing blond curls. Her infectious laughter had everyone watching her reaction as opposed to the show in the sky.
“She is precious,” Lily said.
Cassie grinned. “Thanks. I was afraid the noise would scare her, but obviously not.”
With each colorful burst, Emily clapped or jumped up and down. Nash caught Tessa’s glance to Grant, a smile tugged at her lips and Grant’s hand came around to her stomach, as well.
Interesting. Looked as though they had their own announcement to make.
Yeah, he needed to finish revealing his identity sooner rather than later because he wanted to be part of this family with no lies hovering between them. If they would accept him after all was said and done. He also had to have a long talk with his mother. Lily wasn’t the only one who needed to share news about her pregnancy. Nash hadn’t wanted to tell his mom over the phone, either.
“I’m going to grab a bottle of water.” Lily came to her feet and looked down to him. “Want anything?”
A do-over? A chance to make this all right from the beginning? A lifetime to make it up to her?
“I’m good,” he told her. “I would’ve gotten your water for you.”
Lily laughed. “I’m perfectly capable of getting my own water.”
As she moved around him, he saw Tessa hop to her feet as well and head in Lily’s direction. Within seconds, Cassie and Linda followed.
Emily settled onto Ian’s lap and Damon turned toward the others. “Looks like our ladies have deserted us.”
The fireworks continued, the thunderous sound filling the warm night.
“I’d say Tessa is telling our news,” Grant replied with a wide grin.
“She told me this afternoon,” Damon said, his smile matching Grant’s.
Ian’s head bounced back and forth between the two men. “Well? Do I get to know what’s going on?”
“We’re having a baby, too,” Grant said.
Ian leaned over and slapped Grant on the shoulder. “That’s awesome, man. Congratulations.”
Nash nodded in agreement. “I’m happy for you guys.”
“I’m sure they’re all back there chatting about babies and pregnancies,” Damon said, leaning back on his hands. “Linda has treated my girls like her own since Rose passed. I’m sure she’s all over Tessa, asking about her eating habits and if she’s resting enough.”
“Oh, I’m making sure of it,” Grant supplied. He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. “But her emotions are all over the place.”
“Dude, they’re not going to settle down anytime soon,” Nash informed him. “Lily can go from crying to laughing in seconds.”
Ian smoothed Emily’s curls down, as they kept blowing in the wind. “Cassie has been wanting another ba
by,” he said. “I’m sure all this baby talk will only speed up the process. We’d discussed waiting another year.”
“My family is growing.” Damon beamed, glancing up when Linda came back and settled down next to him. “These are exciting times.”
“Indeed they are,” Linda said as she patted Damon’s leg.
Oh, yeah. Something was definitely going on there.
Cassie, Tessa and Lily came back and took their seats. Lily clutched her water bottle and leaned back against him.
Nash leaned over and patted Tessa on the arm. “Congrats on the baby.”
Tessa lit up, just like Lily did when they discussed their baby. “Thanks. I’m so excited.”
Chatter ensued as the fireworks came to an end. An hour later they were all still discussing babies, due dates, baby showers and growing families. Emily had long since fallen asleep in Ian’s arms and Nash felt a tug on his heart. He couldn’t wait to cradle his own child to sleep, to know that he was a comfort and security for someone.
Lily tipped her head, kissed him slightly on the lips. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
“I didn’t bring you,” he replied, hugging her tighter against him. “Your movie brought you here.”
She ran her hand along his arm. “You know what I mean. You’ve included me in your life, in your new family even though we’re still new ourselves. I feel like I belong here, like I belong with you. You don’t know how much that means to me.”
Yeah, he did. He knew she valued family just as much as he did. He knew she wanted their baby to have that special bond.
But would Nash sever that bond once he revealed himself?
Nash kissed the end of her nose and squeezed her tight again. “You deserve this.”
And he just had to find a way to convince her he wasn’t purposely deceiving her and that she belonged there. She belonged with him.
Fifteen
Taking the first step in getting his life back under control was long overdue. He loved Lily. There was no denying the fact anymore. Now with her in Arizona visiting her mother, he was at the Barrington estate about to confront his father and put one hell of a kink in their newfound relationship.
He should’ve let this out earlier, but he’d just not been ready. Since falling so hard for Lily, Nash knew putting it off any longer would be an even bigger mistake. Starting now, he was going to set things straight and take control of his life.
Here all this time he’d thought he’d been in control. He’d only been controlled by his own lies and selfishness.
Nash paced the living room. He’d already gone into the kitchen and said hi to Linda, who was washing up dishes from breakfast. She’d invited him to stick around for lunch, but Nash didn’t make any promises. He highly doubted he’d be welcome at that point.
Nerves curled deep in his gut and a vulnerability he hated to admit he had threatened to consume him. But he wouldn’t back down. He wouldn’t take the coward’s way out.
“Nash, I was surprised to hear from you today.” Damon crossed the room and Nash came to his feet. “Not that you aren’t welcome anytime. What brings you here on a Saturday morning? Is Lily with you?”
Nash shook his head. “She went to visit her mother in Arizona. I needed to talk to you about something important.”
Damon laughed and smacked his hand on Nash’s shoulder. “Last time you said that you announced you were my son. What else could you have to tell me?”
Raking a hand through his long hair, hair that he couldn’t wait to cut off so he could get back to looking like himself, Nash gestured toward the chair. “You may want to have a seat.”
Damon’s smile faltered. “Is something wrong with your mother?”
“No, no. She’s fine.” Nash sank to the sofa, resting his elbows on his knees. “I actually drove down to see her yesterday after Lily’s plane took off. She’s excited about the baby.”
Nervous chitchat would only postpone the inevitable for so long. He’d come here on a mission and he refused to let nerves take over.
“I actually came to tell you that I can’t accept Don Pedro from you.”
Damon’s silver brows drew in as he eased forward in the leather chair. “If you’re concerned about the money I could make by selling him, don’t be.”
Shaking his head, Nash clenched his fists. Damn it, he hated this. “I know you’re not concerned with the money. I know this because I’ve been offering to buy him for nearly three months now.”
Confusion settled onto Damon’s face as the elderly man drew his brows together in confusion. “I’m not following you.”
“You’ve been getting phone calls from Barry Stallings.”
Damon’s back straightened. “How do you know this?”
Holding firm to his courage, Nash leveled Damon’s gaze. “Because Barry is my assistant.”
Damon stared, studied for a minute, then gasped as realization dawned on him. Jerking to his feet, he started shaking his head.
“How can this be?” he whispered, as if to himself. “You—you’re...what the hell game have you been playing? The long hair, the beard. You’re a bigger man than I remember. Then again I haven’t seen you in person in years. How long have you been planning to come here and spy on me? Was the son angle just a convenient reason? Or are you even my son?”
For once in his life, Nash remained seated, wanting Damon to feel in control. Nash had never relinquished power to anyone before, and certainly not to his longtime rival, but right now, rivalry was gone and this was about so much more.
“I haven’t lied about the fact I’m your son,” Nash began. “I did find out when my mother had a stroke several months ago.”
“Jake Roycroft is my son.” Damon’s jaw clenched. “So, you came in deceiving us from day one with this fake name, long hair and a beard. Your clothes are all worn and even your truck is dated. You sure as hell thought this betrayal out down to the last detail.”
There was no other angle to look at it. Damon was dead-on.
“I did,” Nash confessed. “I wanted to come in, find out what you had planned for your horses after retirement. I needed a prizewinner to breed with mine and I wanted the best.
“Finding out I was your son was like a slap in the face,” he went on, putting everything on the line for the family he’d come to love...the rival he always thought he’d hate. “I couldn’t believe it. But my mother’s gut-wrenching confession was all the proof I needed. She’d kept the truth from me, from you, because she knew it would tear us up. She’d watched this feud for years, but when she had her stroke, she couldn’t keep the secret anymore.”
“And what was your plan when you first arrived?” Damon asked, his tone anything but that of a loving father or the cheerful man who’d walked into this room moments ago.
Now Nash did rise. He needed to pace, needed to get out of here, but he had to stay and continue to unravel this damn web he’d caught himself in.
“I was hoping if I got a good idea of what your plans were for the horses, I could get my assistant to offer enough money to take them.”
Nash crossed to the mantel where a new photo of Tessa, Cassie and Damon sat. The trio stood in front of Don Pedro after the historic win of the Triple Crown. Nash hadn’t been there, he’d been here at Stony Ridge taking care of the other horses.
Other photos showed Rose holding her two young daughters in front of a waterfall, a teen Tessa atop a Thoroughbred, Cassie in a ring with another horse. The family was tight and Nash wondered if he’d ever truly be able to break in where he longed to be.
“I was also battling whether or not to tell you the truth about being your son.” Nash turned back around. Damon hadn’t moved, except to cross his arms over his chest. “But the more I got to know you all, the more I learned as the film was being shot, I re
alized you weren’t the enemy I knew over the years. You were a ruthless businessman to me, but with your family...you were a different person.”
Nash refused to succumb to those damn emotions that he was nearly choking on. He wouldn’t show weakness, not now. Remaining strong was the only way he would get through this.
“Between sneaking around with Lily and battling how to tell you who I was, I was torn. I decided to tell you everything after the film crew left, after Lily and I were finished and after you’d hopefully sold the horse to my assistant.”
Damon’s eyes narrowed. “That all changed when Lily became pregnant. Right?”
Nash nodded, disgusted by the look of hatred he’d put in Damon’s eyes.
Being cut off from the Barringtons would kill Nash, but he would take it like a man. He’d done all of this to himself and had nowhere else to place the blame. Every downfall that was about to happen was nothing less than what he deserved. Nash just prayed the people he’d come to care about had mercy on him.
“Have you been lying all this time to Lily?” Damon asked.
The man may as well have punched him in the gut. Nash rested his hands on his hips, glanced away and nodded.
“So she knows you’re my son, but she has no clue you’re a millionaire with your own estate, your own spread of horses,” Damon repeated as if to drive that knife deeper. “She thinks she’s fallen in love with a simple, hardworking, honest groom. You waited until she left town to confront me and, what, you expect this to all be tidied up for when she returns?”
Damn it, why did that explanation make Nash sound more like a bastard than a man who’d started off with good intentions?
“I’m telling her everything when she comes back,” Nash replied, forcing himself to hold Damon’s angry gaze. “I love her. I didn’t come into this expecting to get wrapped up personally with anybody at all, least of all Lily. Then our affair started and spiraled out of control. Then I got to know you all even more and I started wanting more than what I came here for. I started out with a goal to get Don Pedro at any cost. Now, though, I don’t want him. I just want Lily, I want my father. You have all the power. You can cut me out of your life or we can try to make this relationship work.”
Carrying the Lost Heir's Child Page 13
