“Give it a little more time, Simone. You said yourself that Leah was supposed to be moving out in a few weeks. See how things look then. Maybe all of this is just confusion over the living arrangements, you know? If everything levels out, Leah is in her own spot, you and Roman have a little more room to breathe… you’ll be good.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I think… that makes a lot of sense.”
“See? I told you! And you thought I was gonna try to sabotage you or something. My name isn’t Leah,” he chuckled.
My mouth gaped open for a moment before I burst into laughter. “Carter!”
“What? What did I do?” He grinned at me a little longer before he glanced down at his watch. “Nah though, I’ve gotta head down to the shop, so I’ll see you later. But hey… if this thing with Roman doesn’t work out… come see me. I don’t have any kids, so no jealous mamas. Maybe a crazy ex or five, but… you know.”
I shook my head, trying my best not to let my lips spread into a smile. “Bye Carter.”
— & —
My shuffle button never let me down. Jill Scott was just talking about putting on some Vaseline and taking off her earrings in Gettin’ In The Way when Leah appeared at the door to my office. It was only two weeks ago that I’d “accidentally” seen that text, and my ire hadn’t died down, not even a little. My top lip and my toes curled up at the sight of her, and heat rose in my belly. I bit back the less-than-pleasant greeting I wanted to give her, and settled on a simple “What?” delivered through clenched teeth after I removed one ear bud.
She rubbed the back of her neck, swallowing hard before she stepped inside, closing the door behind her. “Um… I was hoping we could talk.”
My eyes narrowed as my fingers tapped across the top of my desk. “I can’t think of a single thing I’m interested in talking to you about, Leah.”
“Let me rephrase that… I’m here to apologize.”
Now, that I’ll listen to.
“Sit down,” I said, pointing to the chair in front of my desk. When she didn’t immediately start speaking after she sat down, I lifted an eyebrow at her, tipping my head to the side. “I’m listening.”
“Oh! Um… Yeah.” She sighed, then squared her shoulders and straightened to look me right in the face. “I’m sorry, for real, for trying to come between you and Roman. I was… dead assed wrong, and I know that. I hope you don’t hold what I did, the things I said… I hope you don’t hold it against Roman. He really is a good guy, and I—”
I raised a hand for her to stop. “I don’t need you to tell me shit about Roman. Let’s keep this about what you did.”
“I get why you’re saying that, but… hear me out for a second. Please?”
What would India do?
That was a good question. I wanted to snatch this girl across the desk, but India would advise me to at least hear what she had to say. I rolled my eyes, then sat back in my chair. “Go ahead.”
“Um… Roman and I have known each other since junior high school. There was a little group of four of us, we all lived on the same street. We graduated together, went to college together, all of that. There was never anything romantic between Roman and me , but he wasn’t like a brother either. Just… friends. And then… um… one of our friends, Aaron, had a really bad accident, and… he didn’t make it. Roman and I… turned to each other for comfort, and one thing led to another, and we started dating. And it was… awful. That just wasn’t the type of chemistry we had. Um... we both knew it wasn’t working, and it was basically over a few weeks after it started. But then, a few weeks later, surprise, I’m pregnant. And I mean… just months after we’d lost Aaron… neither of us was comfortable with the idea of an abortion.
Once we made it sexual, the friendship was never the same, so… that was kind of lost. Even though we weren’t together, he didn’t miss a single appointment, he was in the room when Zahra was born, I’ve never had to beg Roman to do anything for his little girl. Money, time, energy, whatever, if he had it, he would give it to her, but… I had to admire that from afar. And I was content, don’t get me wrong. I know it’s hard to believe, but I didn’t want Roman in that way. I don’t want him in that way. It’s just… once I moved in to stay with him, the three of us being there together gave me my own little family. And I know I shouldn’t have been thinking about it like that, because it’s not like that. But, anyway … I got attached to it. And I didn’t realize how attached I was until the — completely platonic— attention I received from Roman was getting pulled away and diverted to you.
At first, it was fine. I was really, really happy for Roman, because he is a guy who has very… I won’t say strict, but specific standards in the women he likes. I’ve seen Roman date over the years, and nobody has ever made him light up like you do. So I was happy for him that he’d found someone that fit his ideal, because I have someone who fits my ideal for a mate. But then… it was like somebody pulled the security and friendship I was used to from under me. You and Roman happened fast, and all of a sudden instead of “Hey, Justin is busy, do you wanna watch this movie with me?” it was, “Cool, since Justin is busy, can you kick it here at the apartment so I can go watch this movie with Simone?”. So it was like I lost my friend twice. And not just my friend, my family. Some part of me was like… No, fuck this, I’m not losing him again. So… here we are.”
Her shoulders drooped when she was finally done, like she’d pushed off a heavy weight. I sat back, not looking at her as I tugged on the hem of my tee shirt, annoyed that I could actually feel some of my anger melting away. She seemed genuinely contrite, and I didn’t like it. And the fact I actually… kinda got it set my teeth on edge, because still—
“One more thing though… I want it to be clear I didn’t tell you any of that to justify my actions. None of the history makes the things I did or said okay, and I really, really do apologize to you. The night of Zahra’s birthday…that went way further than intended. I honestly just wanted us to get drunk and goofy like we used to, and it turned into something else. I turned it into something else. I’m sorry, and I’m not trying to make any excuses for me, but… I’m hoping it excuses Roman. I’ve caused enough upheaval in his life… I don’t wanna be the reason he loses you.” Leah nodded, giving me a little smile. There was an unmistakable sincerity in her eyes, and I found it incredibly hard to still want to snatch her eyeballs out.
Damn.
My gaze fell on her hands, clasped in front of her on her lap. My breath hitched in my throat at the sight of the ample diamond on her left ring finger, and I felt the stiffness in my jaw that let me know some measure of annoyance had returned. “Does your fiancé know you tried to sleep with Roman?”
Leah flinched at my question, then absently began playing with the ring, turning it around on her finger. “No,” she said finally, meeting my eyes. “He doesn’t. Is that about to change?”
“Unless you’re about to tell him, I guess not. I want you to keep your fiancé, so maybe you can keep your hands off of Roman.”
She swallowed, but didn’t respond. At least she had enough sense to genuinely be ashamed of herself. I found enough graciousness from somewhere to exchange a civil goodbye with Leah, and when she was gone, I was surprised at how much better I felt. I was still disgusted by what she’d done, but… I knew it probably took a lot to come and talk to me. Mad or not, I could appreciate her effort.
Around lunchtime, exhaustion crept into my body and wouldn’t let me go, so I handed responsibility over to my employees and dragged myself home and into bed. It was well after seven when I opened my eyes again, thanks to the sound of my phone going off on the table beside my bed. I yawned as I pulled it toward me, surprised to see a text from Roman.
He’d been very good about respecting the distance I imposed on us. I waffled daily over whether or not I was being too harsh, but I needed it to be abundantly clear that I was serious. Sincere apology or not, I was over having a boyfriend who lived with another woman. Still, it was
n’t lost on me that Eddie, Vivienne, and even Davis had been into the shop multiple times, and I knew it had more to do with Roman checking on me by proxy than their interest in flowers.
“Hey… Leah told me she went to see you today, and I just wanted to make sure you knew I did NOT send her to do that. I would have discouraged it if I knew. - Mr. Coffee”
Leah actually saved your ass from me being mad at you a few weeks longer…
“I didn’t think you did. It’s cool.”
I tossed the phone on the bed, intending to go to the restroom, but as soon as I stood up, a wave of nausea swept over me, followed quickly by a growl of complaint from my empty stomach. Before I could take care of my bladder or my tummy, my phone chimed again.
“So… since you’re responding, how are you? — Mr. Coffee.”
I grimaced. He was referring to all of the ignored calls and texts over the last couple of weeks, and I honestly felt bad about it, but I knew those communications would weaken my resolve. I wasn’t completely ignoring him by any means, just enough for him to feel it, and I had switched up my schedule to avoid seeing him at all.
“I’m okay. Not feeling so hot, but okay.”
I used the bathroom, then grabbed a granola bar from my cabinet. As soon as I smelled it, my stomach lurched again. That went into the trash, in favor of a box of bunny-shaped graham crackers that were probably Zahra’s. As I headed back to my room, I balanced my snacks in one hand to tug at the uncomfortably tight waistband of my yoga pants, ignoring the little voice over my shoulder telling me a box of sugary crackers was certainly not going to send my waistline moving in a good direction.
On the bed, my cell phone was blinking with another message.
“I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, Beautiful. You’re not pregnant, are you? LOL. Kidding. Do you need me to bring you anything? - Mr. Coffee.”
I knew the message had other words, but eyes kept focusing back on “You’re not pregnant, are you?”. Of course I wasn’t! We always used protection, after the miscarriage. Any further babies between Roman and I would be planned, preferably after a wedding. I hurried into the bathroom to check the calendar I kept there in a drawer. My shoulders sagged in relief at the sight of the red x’s I’d marked down, each roughly 4 weeks apart. I wasn’t pregnant, I was still having my cycle!
But… you had a cycle last time too.
My hand flew to my mouth as I panicked, wracking my brain for a time when we’d slipped up. The first pregnancy, we could attribute that directly to the day on the beach, when Roman did not, as he claimed he would, toss me across the beach when he came. I mean… obviously. But… when else? Suddenly, a vivid image of being pressed against the wall in Roman’s office, panties snatched to the side for quick access entered my mind. The donning of a condom did not.
Crap!
I scanned the calendar, estimating how long ago that particular Open Mic night had been. Three, almost four months. Hell no. There was no way I was four months pregnant and didn’t know. I reached down to press a soothing hand against the indentation my yoga pants had made on my skin. Without thinking, I lifted my tank top, lowering my waistband to bare my stomach. My eyes went wide. Was that a freaking… baby bump?! The “bloating” I’d been trying to disguise with elastic waist pants and big lightweight sweaters… I felt dizzy.
Wait… was that… did something just move ?!
I shook my head, laughing at how absurd I was. I tamped down the feeling of unease, and went into my room to text Roman back.
“Boy, stop playing. I’m fine, but thank you for offering.”
I wasn’t pregnant. That was ridiculous.
“I don’t think it works like that.”
Simone was just standing there, staring up at her half-lowered gate as if she could pull it down with the power of her mind. She glanced at me over her shoulder and smiled.
Gorgeous.
She’d definitely been avoiding me, and I don’t know if it was because I hadn’t seen her lately, but Simone seemed even prettier than usual. Her hair was down, framing her face in soft waves, and the baggy white sweater she wore looked angelic against her glowing copper skin. And that smile. Goddamn, that smile. Even in the briskness of the early fall day, it warmed me through as I stepped forward, placed my laptop bag on the ground beside hers, and pulled the gate down. She handed me her key, and I locked it, then put both of our bags over my shoulder.
“Can I walk you home?”
Again, she smiled, but shook her head in response to the question. “I don’t need you to walk me home, Roman. But… it wasn’t really a request was it?”
I grinned back as I shook my head, and we headed down the street, neither of us speaking. I didn’t know about Simone, but I was glad to be in her presence again, after nearly two weeks away. Leah still wasn’t out yet, so I knew I was pushing my luck after Simone put her foot down, but I hoped this wouldn’t count against me.
When we reached her building, she took her bag back. She gave me a warm, but very small hug, then turned to go inside. I sighed heavily as I watched her head up the steps, my chest growing tighter with each step she took away. She was reaching for the door to the building when I said fuck it, and spoke up.
“Simone!”
She paused with her hand on the door, then turned, the barest hint of a secret smile on her face. It faltered when I didn’t say anything for a moment, my words completely lost as I stared at her. “Roman… it’s kinda cold. What’s up?”
“I can’t do this.” I jogged up the steps, taking them two at a time to close the distance between us. Her eyes grew wide as I pulled her close, then cupped her face in my hands to kiss her. A real kiss. I slipped my tongue into her mouth, savoring the taste of her after being deprived for so long as she draped her arms over my shoulders. The moan that escaped her lips traveled through me and hit me right in the groin, so I pulled her hips against mine so she could see what she was doing to me. “I’m sorry,” I said when we finally pulled away. She was panting, out of breath, and I ran my thumb over her swollen, slightly-parted lips. “I know there’s a few more days, but Simone… I can’t do this shit. I need to be around you.”
Meeting my eyes, she nodded, giving me the same little smirk from before. “Okay.”
“Okay?” I asked, surprised.
Again, she nodded. “Okay.” I stood there, slightly confused as she pushed my hand underneath her sweater to touch her bare skin. She rested it against her stomach, and stared at me, one eyebrow cocked. Rolling her eyes, she covered my hand with hers, guiding it over her belly until I realized…
Holy shit.
“Simone… is that... ?”
She shrugged, biting her bottom lip. “I have an appointment tomorrow to be sure, but… the hundred dollars worth of fancy home pregnancy tests say yes, it is. Fifteen weeks, if I’m calculating right… Um… that night in your office.”
I nodded, feeling a rush of adrenaline spark in my chest. Simone yelped as I picked her up, holding her against me as I kissed her. I didn’t let her go until someone came up behind us, needing to get in the door.
“So… I take it you’re… happy?” she asked, turning to me once we’d stepped inside the building. “I mean… this is still not ideal timing, but—”
“I don’t care.” I bent to kiss her forehead, pulling her close again. “I love you. And we’re having a baby.”
A slow smile spread over her face, and she raised herself on her toes for me to kiss her again. “I love you too, Roman. And yeah… we’re having a baby.”
— & —
It was a good plan, really. I’d finally convinced Simone to get up on stage and sing with me at Urban Grind, and her only condition was that she got to pick the song. I rolled my eyes about the “cuteness” of her choice, Knock You Down, by Keri Hilson and Neyo, but the lyrics about unexpected love knocking you on your ass were more than appropriate for Simone and me. She was six months along in the pregnancy, and wearing it beautifully. She was gorgeou
s in the deep gold sweater dress and boots she’d chosen, and her little belly already looked like a basketball stuck to her front. Simone felt good because she looked good, and she was happy. She was so happy that night.
Just like everywhere else, Simone and I had great chemistry on stage. The crowd loved her and that beautiful voice, and she was really… damn, my baby was awesome. It fortified my resolve for what I was about to do. When we were done, and at the point we would have usually left the stage, I grabbed her hand, tugging her back into the spotlight. Then… I dropped to one knee, reached into my pocket, held up a ring, and asked her the question.
She wanted to say no.
Despite the fact that she plastered a smile on her face, and managed to look happy as she said “yes”, eliciting a cheer from the crowd…. she wanted to say no. I could see the “what the fuck are you doing?” in her eyes from the time I dropped to one knee, but it was too late to abort the mission. There were at least a hundred people clapping, cheering, hugging us as we left the stage.
I led Simone to my office, and as soon as the door was closed and locked behind us, she rounded on me, holding her left hand up and pointing to the ring. “What the hell is this?” She didn’t sound angry, she sounded… scared. Her rapid blinking and trembling chin communicated the same thing. “You know,” she continued, voice shaking, without waiting for a response, “I only said yes to not embarrass you in front of all those people, Roman. We didn’t talk about this.”
My hands dropped to my sides as I lifted an eyebrow. “Simone… we have talked about this. You said you thought a year was sufficient time to know if you wanted to spend your life with somebody. I don’t understand the problem.”
“We talked about this before we knew I was pregnant. What… now all of a sudden you wanna rush things because of that? Yeah, I said a year was sufficient time to know a person is the one you want, but that’s not the same thing as being ready to do it. I don’t want you rushing to put a ring on my finger because you feel some type of obligation because of the baby.”
A Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Serendipitous Love Book 1) Page 17
