Stella and Sol Box Set

by Kimberly Loth

  “Love, Mother, I want love.” And freedom, but she couldn’t express that out loud. She was just as trapped as Luna, if not more.

  “You can marry for love. Is there a merchant’s son you would rather have?”

  “I thought you wanted me to marry a prince.”

  “I do. But I don’t want to see you unhappy.”

  Couldn’t she see that Zwaantie simply wasn’t ready to think about that? But…since Mother brought it up.

  “You are saying I could marry whomever I like?” Zwaantie couldn’t help her thoughts. Phoenix filled her mind. She’d be queen a thousand times over if Mother would just let her control this one small aspect of her life. She wasn’t expecting Mother to be reasonable about this though.

  Mother sighed and brushed a hand through her hair. “Yes, of course. We are not opposed to marriage outside the royal ranks. We just thought you’d be happier with someone of your own kind. Now who do you want to marry?”

  “Suppose I wanted to marry a slave. Then what?”

  Stop being ridiculous.

  Sometimes Zwaantie hated having two mothers.

  “That’s impossible.” Mother dismissed the idea with a wave. She was right of course. Zwaantie just wanted to hear her say it. “Now you are being silly.” Mother stood and crossed her arms. “It’s time for you to grow up. You will be queen, and I recommend finding a husband who will be a good king, like the prince you just insulted.”

  Zwaantie resisted the urge to stick her tongue out like a child.

  “Also, I’m entertaining the lower queens and princesses in my rooms late this evening. Your presence is required. You will give the queen of Sonnenschein an apology.”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  Mother left without saying anything more.

  “I want to be alone,” said Zwaantie. If she was going to go play in the woods, she needed to get rid of Luna.

  “But what about your mother? You’ll need me to attend to you.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  Luna left quickly. It was her wedding night. Zwaantie hoped Father let Pieter off early as well.

  Zwaantie had no intentions of going to the see the queens and princesses. She had two hours until midnight, and she had every intention of making the most of it. She’d pay for it tomorrow, but tonight, she was going to be a child. Responsibilities were for those who actually wanted to be queen.

  Chapter 7

  The Pond

  Zwaantie shut her door with a click and looked around. The dark hallway was empty. She snuck down the hall and turned a corner. A slave with arms full of tablecloths scurried by but didn’t look up. Soon she was at the back door. She creaked it open and slid out into the garden.

  It’s late. Go back to your room.

  “Oh, you shush,” she told the Voice. “I’m not doing anything wrong, just going for a walk. I’ll be in before midnight.” She could never figure out how the Voice could sometimes scold her for things that weren’t wrong at all. There was never pain associated with it, just words, but it was still annoying.

  The smell of the flowers overwhelmed her. She loved early fall. Except for the rain. The ground was always squishy and wet. She kept to the stone path where her wooden shoes clacked against the ground. She thought about taking them off because of the noise, but no one was around. Plus, she didn’t want to get her socks wet. Not that she planned on staying dry this evening. Every adventure in the woods ended with someone being soaked from the wet ground or an accidental trip into the pond. A smile crept upon her lips without warning. She felt a little rebellious sneaking out to play with Phoenix.

  The path wove farther and farther into the garden. She came to a fork and took the left one. The right path would lead to the queen’s garden, which was filled with peonies and mums and usually people. The left path led to a pond that smelled like dead fish. Though Zwaantie didn’t like the smell, that was where they played as children because no one else was around.

  When she arrived, Phoenix was already there, sitting upon a large rock, watching the sun slipping toward the gray. His back was to her, and she paused to watch him. His dark hair settled just above his shoulders. A small thrill buzzed in her stomach. What would it feel like to run her fingers through those curls or have him stare at her with those deep brown eyes?

  She squished her way across the grass to him. He heard her and turned. He smiled wide and patted the rock. Zwaantie’s dress pulled at her neck as she climbed up. She hiked up her skirt so the dress wouldn’t strangle her. She envied the people of Sonnenschein just a little because their clothes allowed a bit of the neck to show. Here in Zonnes, they covered the entire neck. Most of the time it didn’t bother Zwaantie, but when she climbed rocks or trees, her clothes tried to kill her.

  “You ready to play?” she asked.

  “In a minute. I like watching the sky from this rock. When we were kids, I sat out here all the time, even when you three weren’t around.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s peaceful.”

  She settled next to him and put her hand on the rock so her fingers barely touched his. He didn’t react, but she shivered. She was playing with fire. But she hadn’t done anything wrong yet, so the Voice couldn’t say anything.

  “Where do you suppose the sun goes?” he asked. After midnight, the sun disappeared into the clouds and a deep gray settled across the sky, but it never went completely dark.

  “I’ve no idea. I’ve always wondered what the stars look like.”

  “They’re amazing. I miss them,” he said.

  “You remember? Tell me about them.”

  “Millions of tiny dots in the dark, dark sky. They make me feel like anything is possible.”

  “Maybe someday you’ll see them again.”

  “Yeah, right,” he said, pointing to his bands.

  Zwaantie let out a deep breath. She didn’t want to be reminded of his place. She wanted him to be her equal. “Tell me a story. A funny one.”

  “Since when did you become so demanding?” he asked with a wide grin.

  “Because I miss laughing. Everyone has been altogether too serious today.”

  “Sorry, I’m out of funny stories,” he said with a grin.

  “You’re telling me my brother didn’t do one stupid thing today?”

  “Nothing worth telling a story over. However, I heard his sister got herself into some trouble.” He winked and chuckled.

  Zwaantie sat up straight. “How did you know about that?”

  “We were with your mother when that oaf of a prince came lumbering over. Did you really ask him to moo for you?” Phoenix raised a brow at her.

  Zwaantie let out a bellow, and Phoenix laughed.

  “Okay, no funny stories if that’s all you’ve got.” Zwaantie hopped off the rock and challenged him. “If you can catch me, you can do whatever you want with me.” This was a game the four of them played a lot as kids. The one caught would often be tickled or have their socks stripped off and have to step into the pond.

  He crossed his arms and smirked. “Anything?”

  Zwaantie nodded and took a half step away from the rock. She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her socks. The grass was soft and squishy.

  Put your shoes on. Your feet will get dirty.

  Zwaantie ignored the Voice and felt a dull ache behind her eyes. It was bearable. Phoenix eyed her bare ankles and grinned.

  “Even throw you into the stinky pond?”

  He wouldn’t do that. It was a joke they played a lot as kids, but no one ever actually threw anyone into the filthy pond. “Yep, even that.”

  “You’re on.” He stood, and she ran. He hit the ground a few paces away from her. She raced toward the woods. He was better in the trees than Zwaantie, but she wanted him to catch her. Though, she didn’t want to go into the pond.

  The ground in the woods was soft and warm, coated with damp leaves. Zwaantie darted around a couple of trees and then noticed she couldn’t hear him. He must’ve taken h
is shoes off.

  She snuck around a wide old oak tree. Phoenix was nowhere in sight. She dashed out and ran across a small clearing. Something crashed into her from the side, and she went flying. Zwaantie hit the ground on her hip and rolled, but he pinned her down.

  “Gotcha,” Phoenix whispered into her ear. She giggled as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. She liked the feel of his arms wrapped around her legs. The Voice sighed, but didn’t say anything. Technically, they’d done nothing wrong, so it couldn’t find anything to lecture her on.

  “Where are you going?” Zwaantie asked.

  “Back to the pond.”

  “You’re not really going to throw me in there, are you?” A tiny bit of fear crept into her stomach.

  “You said anything.” He laughed, and the motion shook his whole body. Zwaantie struggled against his arms, but he held tight. He wouldn’t throw her into the pond. Would he?

  She smelled the pond before she saw it. She couldn’t see much from his back.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  “No.”

  He laughed and swung her off his shoulder. He laid her on the ground and straddled her, holding both of her wrists in one of his hands. The wet earth seeped into her back, but she barely noticed. His strong grip on her hands, the way his legs felt on her sides, the pressure of his body on her stomach, warmth flooded her body, and her heart raced.

  His chest rose and fell in rapid breaths, and he gave her a devastating grin. She wanted to kiss that smile right off his mouth, wanted to run her hands up his chest and embrace him.

  Phoenix leaned down so that his mouth was inches from Zwaantie’s ear. “You didn’t really think I’d throw you in there, did you?”

  She shook her head, not daring to speak in case she accidentally said the things she was thinking. She loved the feeling of him pressed against her.

  His breath was light on her ear. “But I am going to tickle you until you pee your pants.”

  Zwaantie squirmed and squealed. His hand found her ribs, and she couldn’t help but laugh. He proceeded to torture her for the next few minutes.

  “Stop. Please.” She could barely get her words out through her laughter.

  Then he released her and rolled to the side. Zwaantie propped her head up and faced him. Her hair fell across her hand and into the grass. Luna would kill her tomorrow; Zwaantie’s hair would be in thick knots. The blonde would probably be streaked with green from the grass.

  Zwaantie reached across and placed her hand on one of Phoenix’s. This was a risky move. She didn’t even know what she was doing, but she had to do something to appease the desire in her chest.

  “We should go. Midnight will be here soon.” Phoenix stood. His rejection stung.

  “I don’t want to. We could just stay here.” Zwaantie sat up and searched his eyes for any indication that he agreed with her. She saw the conflict in his face.

  “You know the punishment for being caught out of bed after midnight.”

  That depended on Raaf’s mood. And he wouldn’t behead Zwaantie or Phoenix, which was the normal punishment. After midnight, the Voice turned off, so anything could happen. The chancellors always assumed the worst. Why else would someone stay out? Or at least that was the reasoning of the chancellors. But whatever Raaf chose to do to them still wouldn’t be pleasant.

  “No one will catch us out here.”

  Phoenix grinned. “You have a point. But who knows what we’ll do after midnight. We could go crazy and murder the guards.”

  She stood and brushed off her skirt. “You don’t honestly buy that bull that they feed you about what happens after midnight? Have you ever stayed awake?”

  “Yes,” he replied.

  “Then you know you don’t go crazy. You just think differently and nothing seems wrong.”

  “But the guard would notice if I wasn’t there to get locked up, and I would be in serious trouble. Plus, it’s not safe. You know this.” It was true. Because the Voice turned off, anyone could do anything without repercussion. As children, they were warned about the evil that lurked in the midnight hours.

  “I know. I’m just not ready to go in.”

  “Me either. This was fun. Would you like meet again tomorrow?” he asked.

  “I’d love to.” She smiled at him, and he returned the smile. Her insides tingled. The things she could do with that boy after midnight. Thousands of thousands of kisses. She grabbed his hand and squeezed. He squeezed back without looking at her and then disappeared down the path.

  Judging from the color of the sky, she had about twenty minutes. It would take her at least fifteen to get to her room. It was light enough to see outside, but inside the castle, it got pretty dark. Because of the constant sunlight, they didn’t use candles often.

  Zwaantie hesitated, wondering what she would do if she chose not to lock herself in her room. Hide out somewhere, probably. Those stories she was told as a child still lingered in her mind. After midnight she could be raped or murdered.

  Time, Princess. It is time to go in. You don’t want to be caught outside after midnight.

  Zwaantie obeyed reluctantly. The headache wouldn’t be worth it. She gathered her shoes and socks and meandered down the path barefoot.

  As she turned the corner toward her room, she saw a guard marching down the hall locking doors. She hurried. The Voice urged her to run. She settled on a light jog. All over the kingdom, guards were locking doors of homes to protect the people from those who stayed out. It was the only time of day that the Voice couldn’t protect them.

  The guard waited by her door. “Cutting it a little close, aren’t we, Princess?”

  “But on time.”

  “Dangerous out there after midnight. People do crazy things.”

  The clock tower began its twelve o’clock strike. Zwaantie felt a change in the air. The sun had slipped into the gray, taking the Voice with it. The guard’s eyes went ice blue, and he looked at her differently, like she was no longer a princess but a girl who was beneath him. The midnight hour had come. Zwaantie slid into her room, shut the door, and waited to hear the door lock from the outside. After a few seconds, it did, and she was safe from the night. From both the guard and herself.

  Most nights Zwaantie stayed awake and contemplated all that was wrong with the world. Tonight, she just wanted to sleep. She searched for the laces in the back of her dress to undo it. Her fingers fumbled for a few moments and finally gave up. She crawled under the covers with her dress on and fell into a deep sleep.

  Chapter 8

  The Game

  The next day Zwaantie woke feeling giddy. She’d never felt this way before. She clung to it, desperate for the freedom it promised. Falling for Phoenix was dangerous, but for now, she didn’t care. She rolled out of bed and tried to ignore Luna’s disapproving glare.

  “Mud, grass, and sticks. How old are you?” Luna tugged the dress down and tossed it into a basket. Then she took in the bed.

  “Next time you decide to go rolling around by the pond with my brother at least take your dress off before you get into bed.” She pulled the cover over the grass and dirt on the white sheets. “I’ll take care of this later.”

  “How’d you know I’d been with Phoenix?”

  “Because he came home looking just like you. I’m not dumb.”

  “I thought you had your own house now.”

  “I do. But it’s closer to the castle than mother’s house, and so Phoenix stayed with us. He didn’t think he’d make it home on time. Zwaantie, what are you doing?”

  “It’s not like we did anything. I was just missing my childhood. We played tag.”

  Luna sat Zwaantie down in front of the mirror and frowned.

  “You know, we’re not kids anymore. It’s probably not a good idea to go sneaking around the woods together. Besides, I thought you were supposed to be with your mother and the lower queens.”

  Zwaantie spun around. Luna was trying to take away the only thing she had contr
ol over. Plus, they were growing up way too fast. They should do more running around in the woods. “That’s ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with trying to hang onto our youth. In fact, you and I are going to dig out Sticks and Serpents and go play with Raaf and Phoenix this afternoon.”

  Luna motioned for Zwaantie to turn around, and continued her brushing. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to be disappointed if Raaf says no.”

  “Wilma said that maybe I just needed to get him on his own for a bit. It’s a good way to ease into a conversation. I miss him.” She did. Part of her just wanted to see Phoenix, but she was also doing this for her brother. She needed him too. Maybe she could put her life back together on her own, and then she’d have allies to help her figure out how to avoid becoming queen. Raaf was an important ally.

  “I know you do. Now come on, let’s get you dressed, or you’re going to miss lunch.”

  “Is it that late?”

  “Yes. You know, when you become queen, you won’t be able to sleep in anymore.”

  Every time Zwaantie turned around, someone was reminding her of her place. She was so sick of this.

  “Hopefully I won’t have to think about that for a long time.”

  Zwaantie arrived to lunch a little late. The lower royal families had gone home. Mother scowled at her.

  “I expected to see you in my room last night.”

  Zwaantie picked up her napkin and spread it across her lap. “I know. I’m sorry. I closed my eyes for a few moments and didn’t wake up until my door had been locked.”

  Mother sighed. “Zwaantie, you need to start taking more responsibility. You’ll be queen soon.”

  Zwaantie didn’t bother to argue. That was the problem. Mother couldn’t see that she wasn’t responsible enough to be queen.

  Raaf had mentioned at lunch that his afternoon was free and he was hoping to catch up on his paperwork, whatever that meant. Zwaantie planned on making him put away his paperwork for her.

  An hour after they ate, Zwaantie and Luna stood at Raaf’s door with Sticks and Serpents in hand. Luna knocked, and Phoenix answered. Zwaantie saw his face and had to suppress her smile.