Destination D

by Lori Beard-Daily

  Pam swallowed a lump in her throat. Did he just say before a partnership was offered? What the hell did he mean by further clarification? What was going on? Were these two white boys smokin’ crack? And why was Pete even in here? He wasn’t even a damn lawyer, let alone a partner.

  Pam could feel her temperature rising. She began to unbutton her jacket. No matter what, she would not lose her composure. She had built her reputation on being a professional who remained, irrefutably, one of the best lawyers in the firm. She would not let them take her down. Not now, not ever.

  “Gentlemen, I’m a little confused here. Exactly what are you saying to me?” Pam said with her signature courtroom voice. “Bill, am I going to make partner?” She looked them both square in the eyes, daring him to say otherwise.

  “Not at this time, Pam,” Bill said, avoiding her eyes.

  Pam’s breathing became heavy. Her eyes looked as if they were about to roll out of their sockets. Now she fully understood how Titus Johnson felt in the courtroom before his verdict had been read.

  “Why not?”

  “Because of these,” he said as he pushed the two small stacks of papers in front of her. She saw Amanda’s name at the top, along with those of seven other paralegals in the firm. All were statements of mistreatment and harassment under distressing work conditions.

  “Do you have anything to say, Pam?” Bill asked.

  So, this is the thanks I get, huh? I brought in Amanda when she needed a job and this was how it ended up? Ain’t this a bitch. Pam looked Bill straight between the eyes. “Well, does it really make a difference what I have to say? I mean, after all, it’s obvious that you have gone behind my back without my knowledge and gotten statements from every whining paralegal in this firm to discount my credibility.”

  “Pam, that is not what has happened at all,” Pete said.

  “Well, based on the evidence that I’m looking at, it sure looks like that to me,” she said coolly, quickly thumbing through the papers. “Did it ever occur to you to come to me first?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact. But to be honest with you, it snowballed before we could get to you,” Pete said defensively.

  “We asked Amanda to come in here to discuss her abrupt resignation,” Bill said, trying to diffuse the tension.

  “Oh, so it’s clear to me where all of this is coming from. Oh, the poor dejected, self-righteous paralegal, which I’m sure she was all too eager to tell you.”

  “No, that wasn’t how it happened at all. As a matter of fact, she was hesitant to disclose any of it,” Pete retorted. “But she finally admitted that she found working for you to be quite stressful and she saw that it was affecting her personally, which was the reason for her abrupt departure.”

  “Then, as we were discussing how to handle this with you, a few statements from other paralegals started trickling in, with confirmed witnesses verifying their statements,” Bill interjected.

  “She’s lying! And I want a meeting with the four of us and damn it, I want it now!” She pounded her fist on Pete’s desk.

  Pete kept a watchful eye on her. Rising slowly, he chose his words very carefully. “Pam, I don’t think that would be the best thing to do right now, especially with you being so volatile.”

  “Volatile? Is that what you think this is? No, I’m not volatile. I’m mad as hell! How dare she go behind my back and meet with you and Pete about me, and I’m not even given the courtesy to tell my side of the story!”

  “Pam—”

  “Pete! I’ve worked too damn hard to let Amanda ruin my chances at a partnership. You guys knew how I was when you hired me. As a matter of fact, that was the one thing you liked about me. I got the job done and at that time you didn’t care about how I did it as long as it was legal.”

  “Pam, we’ve—”

  “Bill, you guys are unbelievable!”

  “Listen, Pam,” Pete said. “We need to discuss this further with you. Perhaps you need some time to cool down.”

  Pam looked at Pete with all the restraint she could muster. He could see that what she really wanted to do was take his neck in her hands and slowly squeeze it until his head popped off. She took a deep breath and calmly spoke.

  “Pete, I’m going to tell you this one more time. If you turn me down, I’ll talk to Amanda on my own. Set up the meeting and call me. Bill, Pete, I’m giving you fair warning now. If you don’t do what I’m requesting, then I promise you, this firm will need an attorney whose tactics are far worse than mine.”

  “C’mon, Pam. You can’t be serious. That’s your anger talking,” Bill said, trying to smooth things over.

  Pam quickly gathered up the documents. “I’m assuming you’ve made copies, so I will be taking these with me, thank you.” She waved the stack of papers in their faces as she left the room.

  This Way To The Exit

  With only two visits under Dee’s belt, the place was already taking an unwelcome familiarity. As she waited, Dee thumbed through an Architectural Digest. Then glancing around to ensure no one else was in the waiting room, she removed her sunglasses that masked her dark and puffy eyes.

  “Good afternoon, Deirdre.” The doctor’s voice resonated through the waiting room as she walkd into his office.

  “Hello,” Dee answered as she sat down in the leather chair across from the psychiatrist’s sofa. She walked into his office and could never figure out why someone would want to lay down in a doctor’s office and talk about themselves. The only office she ever laid down in was the gynecologist’s office. Period. And that was only because she had no choice. The doctor detected a twinge of nervousness in her voice as he tried to ease into their discussion. “Dee, I’m in no hurry. You can start when you are ready,” he said as he folded his hands in his lap.

  Dee hadn’t noticed the doctor’s suaveness before. His normally relaxed manner seemed even more laid back than usual. She wondered what type of deep secrets he had in his past.

  She stared out again at her favorite view of the snow-capped mountains. She wished she could ski her way right out of her troubles. She visualized herself racing rapidly down one of the massive peaks that would twist and turn down every slope. With each stroke of her ski poles, she’d move at a swifter pace until she skied her way right out onto a cliff, then jump spread-eagle into the endless white powdery crystals below.

  “So, how did your ethics homework go with Chris and his friend?”

  Dee stared down at her usual visual spot on the carpet. He knew the answer to his question before she opened her mouth. “I failed the assignment. Miserably.”

  “What happened?”

  “I ran into someone on the plane that recognized me from my association with Chris. I’m not sure how far he’s going to take it, but either way, I need to get to Chris before he does. He already gave me fair warning. Here, look at this.” She pulled Quinton’s note out of her purse. Dee slumped in her chair as the doctor read it.

  He set it down on the table next to him and shook his head. “So, what’s your plan?”

  Dee felt tears brimming in her eyes and then falling down her face and shrugged her shoulders. “Oh and that’s not the worst of it.”

  “Explain, please.”

  “I ran into Amanda.”

  “Your friend from college, right?”

  “Yes, my roommate’s paralegal, or former one I should say.”

  “What about her?”

  Dee was so nervous that her words starting spewing out like water from a fire hose. “Her daughter, Tracey, is now confiding in me about stuff that she doesn’t want her mother to know and it has me caught in the middle.”

  “Slow down and let’s stop right there. No one has you caught in anything, but you. You are the one who draws these situations to yourself.” Dee looked at the doctor puzzled. “What I mean is that you get yourself in these predicaments and act surprised when everything starts to blow up in your face. This issue with your friend’s daughter—it is you who is allowing it to grow into
a larger problem by trying to talk to Tracey without her mother knowing about what is transpiring.”

  Dee’s head dropped in guilt and exhaustion. She was almost afraid to tell him about her next plight. “You’re right,” she said, solemnly. “The issue with Tracey is something that I can probably work out, but there’s something else I haven’t told you.”

  The doctor looked at Dee sympathetically and sucked his bottom lip to try to keep from interjecting. “Does it have something to do with this?” He pointed to the note she had handed him earlier. Tears started cascading down her face again and he got up to hand her a tissue.

  “Yes, I pretended to be a lawyer to Chris’s friend even after I told you I wouldn’t. Then there was this incident that happened in New York with Steve.” Dee blew her nose and then recounted her evening in New York at The River Café when she purposefully broke her glass with her hand in order to avoid the meeting Steve planned with Dr. Briscoe.

  “Dee, you’re getting more twisted up in lies each time I see you.”

  “I know,” she said between sobs as she blew her nose again. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I know I need to be honest doctor. But I don’t want to…”

  “Don’t want to what, Dee?”

  “I don’t want to…to lose them,” she said barely above a whisper.

  “There are no guarantees, Dee. Does your fear of losing them mean you are considering telling them the truth?”

  Dee cried harder. She had to clear her head. She got up from her chair and paced back and forth, still picturing herself on a pair of skis racing down the mountains.

  “Let’s talk about that for a moment.”

  “What?”

  “Thinking about how you might go about telling these men the truth.”

  Dee pondered his question before she spoke. “Well, I suppose I would invite Chris over to my hotel room and just try to ask for his forgiveness. That’s if Quinton hasn’t gotten to him first.” Dee’s voice trailed off as her tears welled up again.

  “And what about Steve?”

  Dee was overwhelmed at the thought of having to be truthful to both of them at the same time. “He’s a little different. He’s white, you know,” she said as she wiped the corner of her eye.

  “Is that significant?”

  “Well, I just don’t want to fall into a stereotypical role,” she said as she sat back down in her chair and rocked back and forth.

  “What stereotypical role?”

  “A gold digging black woman. Oh never mind, you wouldn’t understand.” She sighed and placed her hand on her forehead in frustration. “You’ve probably never even dated a black woman.”

  “Do you think that’s how he would look at you?” he asked ignoring her comment.

  “I don’t know. I believe I’m the first black woman he’s ever dated.”

  “Really? Why do you think that?”

  “It’s just a feeling I have—the way he looks at me.”

  “I see. How do you feel about him?”

  “I think he’s sexy.”

  “Is that all?”

  “I like his company. I’m not trying to marry the man or anything.”

  “Do you think he would want to marry you?”

  “Probably not.”

  “Why is that?”

  “We’ve never discussed it, but I just can’t see him hooking up long-term with a black woman, you know?”

  “So, basically you’re just seeing him for what?”

  “For fun and we have great sex.”

  “So, if it’s just for fun and great sex, why do you care if he stays with you or not once you tell him the truth?”

  “I don’t know. You’re the doctor. Why don’t you tell me?” Dee was a little irritated by all of his probing questions.

  “Let me understand this. Chris, the black guy, is the one with whom you’re going to let the chips fall where they may, and Steve, the white guy, the one you don’t intend to have a future with, is the one you’re most afraid to tell?”

  “Yes. I mean, no…I’m afraid to tell both of them. I just don’t know.” Dee hung her head and wrung her hands. She knew she was being shallow about these two guys. But she was smart enough to know what her bottom line belief was. When it came right down to it, she would take the black man over the white one any day. When times got tough, she felt that Chris would stay by her side. If the road got too rough, she felt that Steve would take the high road.

  “Well, do you want my professional opinion?”

  “Sure, that’s what I’m here for, right?” Dee said, knowing she was being a smart aleck.

  “I think you do know, but you may not want to admit it to me. But deep down inside you know the answer.” Dee looked at him blankly. She didn’t know how to react to this answer. He had her figured out.

  “Listen, I have another assignment for you. And this time you better pass.” He grinned. “I want you to go home tonight and think about when the lying started and then ask yourself what it’s going to take to make you stop. I want to discuss this at our next session.”

  “In the meantime, what am I supposed to do?”

  “What do you think you should do?”

  “Tell Chris and Steve the truth,” she mumbled.

  “And what about the situation with Tracey and her mother?” the doctor added.

  Dee gave a slow sigh. “Get her to talk with her mother before I get too deep in it. I don’t want to lose her friendship, either.”

  “Well, I’m glad to see we are getting closer to you seeing what is best for you,” he said as he glanced at the clock. “Unfortunately, our fifty minutes are up, and I can see that we have a lot more that you want to discuss. Please, Dee, call me if you need to schedule a phone session before we meet again,” he said as he got up from the chair and walked toward the door.

  “Doctor, may I ask you something personal?”

  “You can ask. And I’ll let you know if I can answer it,” he smiled.

  “What would you do if you dated someone like me and found out that she was not who you thought she was?”

  “Dee, every person is different. And what I would do would not be what you would do. How do you think you would handle it?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll let you know next week when I’ve done the rest of my assignment.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  Unexpected ETA

  Okay, baby, so do you have everything you need?”

  “Yes, Mama. For the zillionth time.”

  “All right, now, your Aunt Dora and Uncle Jack will be waiting on you when you get there, okay?”

  “I know, Mama.”

  “And Melvin and I are going to fly down there on Saturday to come to the orientation.”

  “Mama, I know. I’m glad you’re going back to the firm. And with a raise, too. And now that you won’t be dealing with the Queen of Evil again, you’ll be able to really enjoy your job,” Tracey said as she hugged her mother for the third time.

  “Thanks, baby. It’s not quite that smooth yet, though. Pete called again. He wants me to have another meeting with them this morning. I just feel so guilty that I can’t take you to the airport.”

  “Mama, I’m a big girl. It’s no big deal, really.” She playfully nudged Tony in the ribs. “Tony will make sure I get there. Right, Tony?”

  “Yes, ma’am. She’ll be fine. I’ll make sure she gets on that flight.”

  Amanda looked at Tracey sadly and grabbed and hugged her a fourth time. “Oh, all right.”

  Tracey rolled her eyes at Tony as she smiled. She hugged her mother again while she took a step back to look straight into her eyes. “Now, Mama. Don’t start your first day back at work worrying about me.”

  “Hey, who’s the daughter and who’s the mother here?” Amanda pulled her in again and gave her a lingering hug that was even longer than the previous one. It was one too many hugs for Tracey, and she was glad when her mother finally stopped and hugged Tony.

  �
�Thank you, Tony,” Amanda said as she patted him on the back.

  Tony started the car and drove out of the driveway. “Okay, so what time does your flight really leave?”

  “Not for at least three hours. So, I’ve got plenty of time to check in, get settled…”

  “And meet him.” He pressed his foot down hard on the accelerator as they merged onto the freeway.

  “Don’t say it like that!”

  Tony looked over at her and gave her a quick glance. “Like what?”

  “HIM! Like he’s some type of scum.”

  Tony looked at the oncoming traffic through his rearview mirror before changing lanes. “I guess if you’re cool with it, then I should be, too.”

  Tracey playfully slapped him on his knee and then put in an Alicia Keys CD, Fallin. “Good, then. I can’t wait for you to meet him. You know he used to play football with—”

  “The Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Yes, I know. You told me, remember?” Like a trillion and one times. “He was the number one draft pick, right?”

  “Yeah,” she giggled.

  “I guess he and your mom’s relationship was something like this song, huh? ‘Fallin’ in and out of love, over the years?”

  “Shut up, Tony. See, now, that wasn’t even necessary.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I apologize. But, I don’t like lying to your mom and especially Melvin. He just looks like he can put a hurting’ on a brotha.’”

  Tracey laughed, “I know, he can be pretty intense, but he’s just being protective.”

  “Why does this have to be such a big secret?” Tony looked over at Tracey and pinched her playfully.

  “Ow! Boy, what’s wrong with you? That hurt.” She pinched him back harder in his shoulder.

  “So are you going to answer my question?”

  “What question?”

  “Why haven’t you told your mother about your father?”

  Tracey flung her hair out of her eyes and sighed.

  Tony sensed her frustration as he grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you upset.”

  “It’s not you, Tony.”

  “Then what is it? I don’t understand. It’s like, all of these years, your father has not made any contact with you, and now all of a sudden he pops back into your life these last few months before you’re off to college and then POOF! He’s gone from this guy named Rickey Mavers to Daddy. And in the meantime, you’re lying to your mom about where you’re going. You’re sneaking out to see him, and now you’ve gotten me wrapped up in this all the way up to my eyeballs.”