Delta Force Desire

by C. J. Miller

  Kit pressed a hand over her stomach. “I shouldn’t be nervous. He’s a member of the military. He’s very capable. Strong.”

  Irrational jealousy poked at him. “You have a personal relationship with him?” Griffin asked, not liking that idea in the least.

  “We were, we are...something. Not friends exactly. Not colleagues, either. I don’t have a word for it.”

  Lovers? Friends with benefits? “You want to talk to him. Can he help you now?”

  She inclined her head. “Not technically. He’s keyed into this world. He might know something and if he doesn’t, I should warn him that Incognito is active.”

  “Does he need to know about that?” Griffin asked. “If he was involved with the project and he’s with the military, he would have been apprised of the situation.”

  “He wasn’t directly involved. He served as part of the security team in a no-explanations-given capacity. I’ll talk to him. I want to talk to him.”

  “I can’t let you approach him in public. If he says your name and someone overhears it, our cover is blown.” Their already shaky cover.

  “Please, Griffin. Don’t make me tell you the whole story. Just understand that I need to talk to him and we can trust him.”

  Griffin looked into her pleading eyes and relented. “Give me a minute to work out a plan. Maybe you can talk somewhere private.”

  Kit inhaled. “Alone?”

  He had a visceral reaction to the idea. “I would be there.”

  Kit brought her hands together and wrung them. Griffin tried to understand. Did this man make her happy or nervous? She was acting like she was meeting an old boyfriend. Was that their relationship? Something that had started while Kit was working on the Locker and had ended over professional ethics or logistics?

  Formulating a plan, Griffin led Kit to the patio outside the bar. It was surrounded by a wrought iron fence with no access from the street.

  It was hot, and the shade from an awning provided only a slight amount of cooling. Kit sat at the one table half in the shade.

  “Tell me which one he is,” Griffin said.

  She lifted her hand and pointed. “Him.”

  Griffin turned to see a man in a starched polo shirt and khakis stepping onto the patio. Griffin’s hand went to his gun.

  “Kit?” the man asked, smiling at her. He strode to her, never taking his eyes off her.

  Kit glanced at Griffin before standing and greeting the other man. A mix of curiosity and jealousy struck Griffin.

  They embraced, and Kit closed her eyes when he hugged her. He was most definitely her former lover. He knew her real name. What else did he know? Had she shared secrets with him while they shared a pillow?

  After a brief exchange of pleasantries, Kit gestured to Griffin. “Lawrence, this is my friend Michael. Michael, Lawrence.”

  Griffin was pleased she hadn’t given his real name. He shook the other man’s hand.

  Kit gestured for Lawrence to sit across from her. “What are you doing here?”

  Lawrence sat and adjusted his chair, moving it closer to Kit. “We’re looking for you.”

  Griffin was prepared to disable Lawrence if he made a move against Kit. Military man or not, Griffin has his orders.

  Kit appeared nervous and clasped her hands in her lap. “Don’t use my name,” Kit warned him. “I still don’t want to be found. Who is ‘we’?”

  “I’m here with Zoya. We heard the team was being hunted.”

  “Are you safe?” Kit asked.

  Lawrence laughed with an edge of nervousness about it. “You don’t have to worry about us. I’m always carrying a weapon. I look out for Zoya.”

  Kit flinched. “Where is she now?”

  Who was Zoya? Griffin didn’t recall her name from the profiles he’d been given from the West Company.

  “She is safe. Don’t worry. We’re worried about you.”

  Kit adjusted her mask and tipped it back off her face. “Lawrence, we shouldn’t be seen together.” She looked over her shoulder at the door to the hotel. She had more to say, but she stopped speaking. Kit did that often enough. Why didn’t she speak her mind? Now was her chance to talk to this character.

  “Let’s have dinner tonight in my room. We can talk more then,” Lawrence said.

  The intense expression on his face unnerved Griffin.

  “Talk about what?” Griffin asked. They were not at the conference to socialize and catch up with old friends for the sport of it.

  Lawrence frowned at him. “I know what has been going on. I have information you may find useful.”

  Information or rumors?

  Kit touched the ends of her hair. “We can meet. Michael will need to join us.”

  Lawrence took Kit’s hands, and Griffin stifled a growl. “You don’t trust me?” Lawrence asked.

  Kit looked at their hands. “I do, but Michael trusts no one.”

  Kit said Lawrence could be trusted, but Griffin didn’t accept that at face value. He would have the West Company dig around about Lawrence and Zoya. If they were working with Incognito or had a brief association with them, they were the enemy. “Come on. We need to go,” Griffin said. Being outside for too long would draw attention. Griffin didn’t want their pictures taken or anyone to grow curious enough to look twice.

  “Tonight. Six o’clock. Room eighteen twelve,” Lawrence said.

  Kit glanced at Griffin for approval.

  “Fine,” Griffin said. Kit stood, and Griffin guided her away from Lawrence.

  When they were out of earshot, Griffin lowered his mouth to her ear. “Are you sure we can trust him?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about Zoya?” Griffin asked.

  “She’s his girlfriend. Fiancée. Wife. One of those.” Kit sounded contemplative.

  Griffin didn’t like it. He texted Lawrence’s and Zoya’s names to Kate West for a more thorough investigation. Kate would dig up any skeletons in their closets.

  “We’ll keep searching for your friend. Your other friend,” Griffin said, wanting to keep them on track.

  If Kit was his distraction, Lawrence was hers. He’d prefer if they stayed away from him, but Kit had other ideas.

  * * *

  “Tell me more about the hackers we’re looking for,” Griffin said.

  Kit had a short list of hackers she wanted to contact. She was being careful reaching out to people over the computer, worried that someone who knew her as Lotus would figure out she was at Gamer Con and connect her online persona with her real one.

  If Incognito was aware of who she was, so were others.

  “In addition to Evasion, I’m looking for a guy who goes by the name Swift,” Kit said.

  “Is he a fast typist?” Griffin asked.

  “Yes.” Most hackers were. Swift’s nickname came from his ability to get into and out of a secure site faster than most. Kit wouldn’t out his crimes to Griffin. Though Swift’s bio was in an online encyclopedia, Kit respected the privacy of her fellow hackers. She played by the unwritten rules of a hacker’s code of honor, and that meant keeping the authorities out of the loop whenever possible. In this case, Griffin was the authorities.

  Like most of the people she was close to in the hacker community, Swift was also her personal friend. In fact, Swift was the first and only man she’d had a serious relationship with. She and Swift had many common interests. Beyond gaming, they loved security protocols and had enjoyed lively debates about the best methods to secure a server or a website or a personal laptop.

  “Do I need to be worried that he knows about your involvement with...”

  Griffin didn’t need to say “with the Locker.”

  “He knows nothing about that. He knows me only as Orchid. I met him online after I
was finished with that project.”

  Concern creased the corners of Griffin’s eyes. “Tell me more about Swift.”

  Griffin didn’t have time to vet Swift. Kit gave him the quick and dirty. “He’s someone I used to date. My most serious relationship.” Swift would be easier to find since he had registered for a booth to sell portable laptop desks and had used his online name for the promo.

  “Bad idea to bring an old lover into this,” Griffin said.

  Kit wasn’t sure she’d given Griffin the right information about Swift. Lover implied intimacies she hadn’t shared with him. The end of her relationship with Swift had been dramatic, but the sting of his betrayal was long gone. “He doesn’t hold a grudge. He cheated on me. If anyone should be mad over how the relationship ended, it’s me.”

  “You’re not mad at him and harboring residual anger?” Griffin asked.

  “No.” She had been at first. But dragging around resentment was harder on her than on Swift.

  Kit glanced at Griffin’s face. He revealed no discernible emotion. Describing his stare as vacant wouldn’t have been accurate. He was watching, observing and thinking a few steps ahead. No emotion, though.

  “He said he needed physical contact.” Why was she still babbling to Griffin about Swift? It didn’t matter why their relationship had ended. It was likely not one reason. Online relationships were as complex and difficult to navigate as in-person ones, sometimes more so because the distance left more leeway for lies.

  “What does that mean?” Griffin asked.

  Online relationships operated under their own rules. Griffin couldn’t understand it, or worse, he would judge her.

  She’d give Griffin the ten-second explanation. “Swift and I met online. We lived a thousand miles apart. We didn’t meet in person. We had planned to meet, but we broke up before then.” She hadn’t rushed to meet him. Meeting a new person was anxiety-causing. A disruption in her daily routine was stressful enough to have her put the trip off with excuses for several months.

  Griffin blinked at her. “Your most serious relationship was with someone you didn’t see in person?”

  He sounded confused, and she had to explain and justify what she and Swift had. “We talked every day. Multiple times a day. It was intimate. And we had cybersex.” She added the last statement in case Griffin thought she was too boring.

  “What is that, like sexting?” he asked.

  “Similar. But we talked over the instant messenger service on our private servers.”

  “He would type to you and you would type to him.” He still sounded bewildered.

  “Right.”

  “You didn’t want the real thing?” Griffin asked.

  His question ignited her defensiveness. “What we had was the real thing. What wasn’t real about it?”

  Griffin inclined his head. He didn’t sound judgmental, just like he was trying to understand. “How do you have a relationship with someone that doesn’t include holding his hand and touching him and kissing him?”

  Most of her relationships could be described as not involving touching. “We had emotional intimacy. It was modern.”

  “If modern dating means more time with my hands on a keyboard and less time with my hands on my girlfriend, then forget it.”

  Based on how women looked at Griffin, he’d had his share of interested partners and had likely taken a few home with him. “It’s stressful to meet someone new. It’s stressful to go on dates.”

  “The upside is huge. When it works, it’s amazing,” Griffin said.

  Given her behavior the night before, he had the wrong idea about her. She hadn’t had sex with a man. “I suppose.”

  “I don’t like first dates, either, but sometimes they can be great. A little ice breaking and then it’s smooth sailing. Instead of pushing through some awkwardness, you avoid it?” Griffin asked.

  Her sister had accused her of the same thing, telling her she needed to leave her room, go out and meet men. Kit had tried, but she was better at talking over the computer. “I tried online dating, but it was too hard to move past the online part. I’m more comfortable conversing with a couple of computers between us.”

  “You’ve been doing well in person here.”

  She felt safe at Gamer Con, knowing she was among people who were similar to her and Griffin was keeping her safe. “This has taken me outside my comfort zone in a zillion ways. I’m doing this because I know lives are at stake.”

  “Then this Swift is some Casanova of the computer?” Griffin asked.

  “He’s good with words, yes. He is also able to break most security protocols and exploit almost any piece of software.” Which would be handy if they needed to destroy the copy of the Locker.

  “But he doesn’t like touching women.” Griffin’s lip twitched, fighting a smile.

  Kit rolled her eyes. “He does. That was one of our problems.”

  “Lead the way to this master of the computer who somehow seduces women without being in the same room with them. Maybe he can teach me a thing or two.”

  “I get the feeling few men could teach you much about women. You seem to handle us just fine. You handled me fine last night.” She blushed, the words coming out wrong. “I mean, you kept me from further injuring myself.”

  “Doing my job,” he said and cleared his throat.

  Except when he went out of his way to assist her, it felt like he was doing more than a job. He was being a friend to her.

  * * *

  Swift was easy to find. He wasn’t in hiding, and by asking around, Kit was pointed to the main sales area, where vendors had set up displays to demo their latest games, equipment and computer accessories.

  Kit spotted Swift from thirty feet away. She stilled, peering at him from around another stall. He looked as she remembered over their video chats. He was tall, maybe as tall as Griffin, but slender. He dressed as she would have expected, well-worn jeans and a bright hooded sweatshirt. He wore his black hair long in the front and shaved short around the sides and back. His bangs hung over his right eye and he flicked his head to move them.

  Swift was speaking to another man. He laughed at something the man said and turned his head in her direction. She ducked behind the stall.

  “What’s the matter?” Griffin asked. “Changed your mind?”

  Not exactly changed her mind. She was filled with self-conscious thoughts. Swift had dumped her because she wasn’t interesting enough. She wasn’t sexy enough. If he had wanted to be with her, he would have driven to see her when she was ready. He would have invited her to his place. He would have set up a weekend for them at a romantic bed-and-breakfast. The list of what she had wanted from the relationship and hadn’t gotten ran through her head.

  She hadn’t been aware she had wanted those things. Wasn’t she happy being in an online relationship? Wasn’t that ideal for her? “Talking to him is harder than I thought. It’s been enough time that it shouldn’t bother me, but I feel weak.”

  “Weak?” Griffin asked, concern in his voice.

  “He’s in a position of power, and I’m begging him for a favor.”

  The expression on Griffin’s face said he didn’t like that much at all. “You’re not begging this clown for anything. If he wants to help with one of the most prestigious computer security projects on the planet, then fine, he has an in. But if he doesn’t, then forget him.”

  Kit straightened her shoulders and smoothed her hair. She checked that her costume was in place and approached slowly. She felt like she had rocks in her shoes and she willed herself not to trip, stutter or otherwise make a fool of herself.

  If she had some of her sister’s grace or her mother’s confidence or her brother’s charm, she could have used it. Her mother half-jokingly said that she’d been given the lion’s share of the brai
ns in the family, but none of the beauty. Childhood teasing from her mother that still hurt.

  Her mother hadn’t understood why Kit didn’t want to attend her high school prom. Kit had been too embarrassed to admit that no one had asked her to be his date. Her mother didn’t understand why Kit hadn’t gone on an island vacation for spring break when she was in college. No friends had included her in their plans. A lifetime of social rejections that led to computers being at the top of the list for the best place for Kit to socialize. Behind the screen of a computer, she was safe and all anyone could see was her intellect. That had been her best—maybe only—strength, and she wielded it like a sword online.

  Her intellect didn’t translate well in real life, especially when it was hidden beneath her awkwardness and stuttering.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Griffin asked, taking her shoulders and forcing her to look at him.

  “I can do this.” Speaking to Swift in person for the first time was a hurdle she hadn’t crossed during their relationship, but she could handle it now. She had Griffin with her, and this wasn’t about her insecurities and fears. This was bigger. If Incognito gained control of the Locker, Kit knew the consequences could be dire.

  Meeting Griffin’s gaze, she lost her train of thought. She could have lost herself in his deep green eyes. He had this serious and concerned way of looking at her that made her feel both vulnerable and protected.

  What did Swift see when he looked at her? What did other people see? “Do people assume you’re all brawn and no brains?” she asked.

  Broad, sinewy shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Probably.” He seemed indifferent to the idea.

  “Does that bother you?”

  He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what others think about me.”

  A lot of people claimed they didn’t care what others thought about them. She had made the same statement many times, but deep down, she did care. However, Griffin was confident in himself and his abilities. He was strong and smart, and he owned it.

  “It matters to me what Swift thinks.” She would leave it at that. In her dream world, Swift would see her and realize what he was missing. When she had confronted him with the evidence of his cheating, he had called her a stalker, and they hadn’t spoken since. Maybe now he would apologize for cheating on her and admit he missed their conversations. Then she could reject him and regain some of her dignity.