Love & Lies

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Do you think this voice is causing her obsession with fire?” I asked.

  “It’s very likely, because maybe the voice is telling her to play with the stove or play with matches.”

  “So where do we go from here?” Curtis asked, and I could tell he was heartbroken. I was sad as well but not as surprised.

  “Well, to start, I’d like to begin seeing her for at least an hour every single day, and chances are I’ll have to begin medicating her.”

  “And there’s no other way?” Curtis asked.

  “It’s my medical opinion that she needs more thorough evaluation and some sort of med to help control the voice she’s hearing.”

  “Will you be able to schedule all of her appointments after school?” I asked.

  “Well, for right now, I think it’ll be best if she didn’t attend. At least not until we have a better diagnosis.”

  “I’m sure they’ll need a written excuse,” I said.

  “They will, and I’ll have my assistant type one up today and fax it over.”

  “Should we tell Marissa why she’s not going to be in school for a while?” Curtis asked.

  “You can tell her that you want to spend more time with her and that you want her to come see me every day. Also, Reverend Black, since it seems that she enjoys trying to please you, it might be better for you to be the one to convince her that seeing me is a good thing and that you’ll come with her on every visit.”

  “That’s fine.”

  “Mrs. Black mentioned that you travel a lot, but if at all possible, it would be much better for Marissa if you were in town for as long as you’re able to be.”

  “I’m scheduled to leave again on Thursday, but of course Marissa’s well-being is my priority and I’ll do whatever I have to.”

  “Good. That will mean a lot more than you know.”

  “Are there any harsh side effects with the medications you’re considering?” I asked.

  “Yes, so we’ll have to monitor her very closely. Some meds can make a patient’s symptoms much worse and even cause a person to become suicidal. So we may have to try several before we find the right one.”

  “She’s only five years old…” Curtis said, his voice trailing off.

  “I know,” Dr. Mason tried consoling him. “It’s tough. But as I’ve already assured Mrs. Black, I’m going to do the best I can to help her.”

  “Why do you think this is happening to her?” Curtis asked, and I prayed Dr. Mason wouldn’t bring up anything about heredity.

  “We just don’t know for sure. Some studies show that genetics may be part of the cause, and some even show that a viral condition may be the culprit.”

  “Well, as far as I know, my family has no history of anything like that.”

  “Then chances are Marissa is simply one of those rare cases.”

  “We should probably go see about Marissa,” I interjected.

  “That would be good, and my assistant will be in touch first thing tomorrow with the next few session times,” Dr. Mason promised.

  “Thanks again,” I said.

  “Yes,” Curtis added. “Thank you for everything.”

  We found Marissa sitting patiently and reading a book and she looked so peaceful. She looked as normal as any other child. However, unfortunately, she was anything but.

  Unfortunately, she was as different as any person could be.

  Chapter 26

  JANINE

  “How are you, Dad?” I said when my father answered the phone. I’d been thinking about him a lot today and decided I would call him before leaving work.

  “I think I’m coming down with a cold, but other than that, I’m pretty good.”

  “How’s the weather there?”

  “Pretty chilly as of late, but that’s to be expected in October. They say we’re going to have a rough winter and I believe it.”

  “I heard the same thing for our area and I’m not looking forward to it.”

  My father laughed. “I can believe that, because you never liked cold weather. Not even when you were a child.”

  “But strangely enough, I’ve lived in the Midwest all my life.”

  “That’s because we all get used to what we get used to, and for the most part, there’s no changing that.”

  “So have you eaten yet today?”

  “I had some coffee for breakfast and then a little something for lunch, but Joe Bell called and said he was gonna bring by some barbecued ribs in about an hour.”

  “Joe Bell, the man that used to come to our house all those years ago?”

  “That’s him. I hadn’t heard from him since maybe back in the eighties, but now he’s living here with his daughter and son-in-law.”

  “Well, Dad, that’s really nice.”

  “It is, and I was really glad to hear from ole Joe. We used to have some wild times back in the day.”

  “I can imagine,” I said, because I still remembered how my father and Mr. Bell had been inseparable drinking buddies. I also remembered how Mr. Bell’s wife had divorced him, too, shortly after my mother had left my father but I was still glad my father had been able to reconnect with Joe after all this time.

  “So how are you, daughter?”

  “I’m okay, but I guess it’s time I told you that Antonio and I broke up.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry to hear that.”

  “Don’t be, because Antonio is not the person you thought he was or the person I portrayed him to be.”

  “He didn’t hit you or anything, did he?”

  “No,” I said, even though he had grabbed me rather violently that day he’d come to the university, but I didn’t bother burdening my father with that information.

  “I hope not, because I wouldn’t wanna have to come all the way to Illinois to handle that boy. I know I’m too weak to do anything, but I know a few strong young men around here who would be glad to rough him up.”

  “Really, Dad, I’m fine.”

  “Where is he now?”

  “I didn’t want to tell you this, but he was dealing drugs from my house and I had him arrested.”

  “Well, good for you, and I hope the judge throws the book at him.”

  “It looks like he’ll definitely get some time, although I’ll feel a whole lot better once he’s sent away.”

  “He’s not bothering you, is he?”

  “He’s called a few times,” I said, but decided it wasn’t worth telling my father about his recent visit to my doorstep or the way he was continually threatening me.

  “I hate to see you going through this, and not being able to help you makes me feel like a failure.”

  “This is not your fault, so please don’t feel that way.”

  “Well, maybe it is, because it wasn’t like you ever had a good male role model while you were growing up, and maybe that’s why you ended up with someone like this Antonio.”

  “That’s just not true.”

  “I watch a lot of TV talk shows and there have been many times when women have been on talking about all the wrong men they keep choosing, and almost every time you find out that their father was a bad example. You find out that by choosing a no-good man, these women followed in their mothers’ footsteps. It happens all the time. My own mother, God rest her soul, used to say your childhood can make you or break you, and she was right. She was more right than I ever imagined.”

  I knew he had a point but I’d never wanted to accept that. I’d never wanted to believe that I wasn’t smart enough to find the right companion, but now I wondered otherwise.

  “I’m going to be fine, Dad, so there’s no reason for you to blame yourself or worry about anything.”

  “Do you want me to come there?”

  “You know I’ve wanted that for a long time.”

  “I know, but until now I didn’t want to be a burden to you. Now, though, I’m worried about you being there all alone.”

  “Well, actually, I’m not all alone because I do have my
best friend, Charlotte, and her husband and the people at church.”

  “But no one’s in the house with you, right?”

  “No, but I have a security system and it’s always set, even if I’m home during the daytime.”

  “I still don’t like it.”

  “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll be there on Saturday. That’s the real reason I called. My plane will get in around ten in the morning, and once I get my luggage and pick up a rental car, I should be at your place before twelve.”

  “I can’t wait to see you. And this time I just might fly back with you.”

  “I really hope you do.”

  “Uh-oh, that must be ole Joe on the doorbell, so I’d better go. But you call me if you need me. You hear?”

  “I will, and tell Mr. Bell I said hello.”

  “You take care, sweetheart.”

  “Bye, Dad.”

  I smiled when I thought about seeing my father four days from now and then I packed up my belongings and left my office. On the way out, my phone rang.

  It was Carl, so now I had an even bigger smile on my face than a few seconds ago.

  “So how are you?” I said.

  “Well, I could be better.”

  “Why is that? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing except I can’t seem to get any work done.”

  “Did something happen?”

  “You happened. I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s so embarrassing.”

  I laughed. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I’ve been thinking about you all day, too.”

  “I feel like some twelve-year-old boy who has such a huge crush on some little girl in class that he can’t concentrate on anything else.”

  “I know the feeling, but I have to admit it’s a little scary.”

  “Why? Because we haven’t known each other for very long?”

  “Yes, and also because I don’t ever again want to feel the kind of pain I’ve had to endure with Antonio.”

  “That’s understandable, and you’ll see soon enough that I’m definitely not in the business of hurting people. By the way, you haven’t heard from him again, have you?”

  “As a matter of fact, I did this morning.” I sighed and told Carl what Antonio had said to me.

  “I’m really worried about your safety, and as much as you might not want to hear this, we need to get you a gun.”

  “I’m so against those, but I will admit that it may be the only way I can protect myself.”

  “Where are you now?”

  “In my car and headed out of the parking lot.”

  “Are you going straight home?”

  “I have to stop at the beauty supply to get a couple of things but I should be home in about an hour.”

  “Why don’t I just meet you then and we can go get this taken care of.”

  “I can’t believe you’re standing by me through all of this madness.”

  “Most things that come easy aren’t really worth having and that includes relationships. Plus you can’t help what’s happening to you.”

  “Maybe not now, but I could have prevented all of this by never allowing Antonio to move in with me. I never should have even dated him but I just couldn’t see that back then.”

  “Well, what’s done is done and we’re not going to dwell on any of that.”

  “You’re a sweetheart, Carl.”

  “I try,” he said, and I smiled.

  “So I’ll see you shortly?”

  “I’ll be there. And since we’re going to take care of this other situation, maybe instead of going to a restaurant the way we’d planned, we can just order something to carry out.”

  “That works for me.”

  “Bye, love.”

  I laid down my phone and asked myself again why I couldn’t have met someone like Carl before now. Specifically before I’d made acquaintance with Antonio, but I knew there was no explanation for this.

  After leaving the store, I stopped at the gas station and drove straight home. When I eased slowly into the beginning of the driveway, I rolled down my window and removed today’s mail. Then I pressed the garage door remote and waited for it to open. When it rolled up, I drove all the way inside. Next I grabbed my purse, briefcase, and the other bags on the front seat and stepped out of the car.

  But when I did, I heard footsteps and jerked my body around.

  “You think you’re so slick, don’t you?” Antonio said, walking inside the garage and moving toward me. I dropped everything I was holding.

  “Antonio, please don’t,” I said, backing farther into my car door.

  “Please don’t what? Please don’t hurt you the way you’ve hurt me?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said for whatever it was he felt I should be apologizing for.

  “You completely misused me from the very beginning, and now you’re just outright trying to destroy me. You’ve destroyed everything I was working so hard to build up and now I’m going to prison.”

  “I’ll do whatever you want.”

  “Liar.”

  “I will,” I promised, pleading for my life.

  “You think I’m stupid. I went by the nursing home to see my mother and my father told me that the police had been by their house looking for me because there’s another warrant for my arrest. And that’s all because of your silly ass.”

  “What do you want me to do?” I asked. “Just tell me and I’ll do it.”

  Antonio sniggered like a madman so I shut up.

  “But you know what’s even worse? You had the nerve to try and replace me. It hasn’t even been two whole weeks and you’ve already brought some fool in here that I know you were sleeping with behind my back.”

  “He’s just a friend and he’s not living here.”

  “I saw him Sunday and again yesterday. Yeah, that’s right, I’ve been watching your every move.”

  “He doesn’t mean anything to me,” I lied, trying to reason with him.

  “Shut up!” he said, slapping me across my left eye so hard I lost my vision for a few seconds.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said, crying.

  “No, I think you’re proud of the way you treated me, and that’s why I decided this afternoon that you were going to pay,” he said, pulling a knife from his coat pocket and flicking it open.

  With lightning speed, he forced it into my abdomen. Then he yanked it out, drew it back, preparing to strike me again. As weak as I was, I tried blocking his attempts with my arms and hands, which now had slashes all across them.

  However, the fight in me ended when he gouged my stomach a second time. And without warning I fell to the ground, face forward, and Antonio kicked me with all his might. He kicked me again and again, I guess until he was tired, or maybe Carl had stopped him, because suddenly I heard Carl yelling at him and then I heard what sounded like a major tussle between them. I lay there listening but my body must have gone into shock because I felt no pain.

  Soon after, I heard a loud thud and then some metal object hitting the ground. I wasn’t sure what had happened, but now Carl was calling my name.

  “Janine, baby, just hold on,” he said, turning me over. “Just hold on while I call for help.”

  His voice was fading in and out, and even though my vision was blurred, it looked as though tears were rolling down his face.

  “Baby, they’re on the way and you’re going to be fine.”

  I tried acknowledging what he’d said, but the last thing I heard were the faint sounds of sirens and then a cluster of voices surrounding me and speaking very quickly.

  Chapter 27

  CHARLOTTE

  “Oh my God, Carl, what happened?” I said, rushing into the emergency room.

  “That idiot Antonio attacked her with a knife.”

  “No. Please don’t tell me that,” I said, and Curtis sat me down in one of the chairs.

  “He stabbed her multiple times and she lost a lot of blood.”

  “This is just senseless
,” Curtis finally said. “Just plain senseless.”

  “Oh God, please, not J,” I said, my face now flooded with tears. “Please…please…please.”

  “Baby, hey. Let’s just be prayerful and wait until we hear something,” Curtis said with his arm around me.

  “She was conscious when we got here, so maybe that’s a good sign,” Carl explained.

  “How long have they been in there with her?” I asked.

  “Almost two hours.”

  “And wait a minute,” I said abruptly. “Antonio didn’t get away, did he?”

  “No. I pulled up just as he was stomping her with one foot after the other, but in the end, we scuffled and I knocked the knife out of his hand. Then I hit him with a steel bar I found in Janine’s garage. He was out until the police arrived and then they arrested him.”

  “Thank God,” Curtis said. “And maybe this time the judge will realize bail isn’t an option.”

  “I just don’t believe this,” I said, trying to digest everything Carl was saying. “I can’t believe J and I were just on the phone this morning and now she’s in there fighting for her life.”

  “It doesn’t seem real, I know, but when he kept harassing her, I started wondering how long it was going to be before he did something bad to her. I had a terrible feeling about it and that’s why I’d just told her a few hours ago that we needed to get her a gun. That’s why I was meeting her at her house in the first place, but instead…” Carl tried explaining but was too emotional.

  “But the fact that you were there is what counts,” I said, rubbing his back and trying to console him.

  “That’s right,” Curtis agreed. “God allowed you to get there just in the nick of time.”

  “Life is so unfair,” Carl said. “I mean, here I’ve been thinking that maybe I’d finally met my next wife, and now this.”

  “You know, until this morning, I had no idea you and Janine were seeing each other, but as soon as she told me, I felt really happy about it. I knew you were a good person and that’s exactly what I told her.”