Becoming James Black

by Skye Turner

  He throws his head back and laughs harder. “Jaye, huh? No, he’s not looking for you. He spent his time with you in the hen house earlier and I sent him on his way. He’s in town. He’ll be back later tonight when he’s done with our business there.”

  Jaye left? He went to town to make his deliveries… and to sleep with married women.

  Oh my God… Jaye is the only reason Mr. Meager has stayed away until now. I know it. And now… he’s gone. He’s in town and I’m here alone with this monster.

  I can’t even let the pain from knowing he could be sleeping with women right now get to me.

  I have to get out of here.

  How the hell am I going to get away from this man?

  Still holding the pitch-fork, I step to the side. He mirrors me and instinctively I hold onto the possible weapon a little tighter.

  He looks down at my hands and says, “What are you going to do with that, girl? I’ve waited a long time to get you alone. Now it’s just you and me. Nothing is going to stop me from getting what I want.”

  His words have me terrified. What the hell is he planning? The possibilities of what he could do to me out here have me terrified.

  He’s right though. What am I going to do? Am I going to hit him with this? Could I stab him if I had to? And what then? Where would I go? Who would believe me?

  Jesus, Rose. Calm down. Think… Think… Think…

  Now is not the time to let the panic cloud my head.

  I glance over his shoulder and see that the barn door is not fully closed. If I scream, would anyone come? Would anyone even hear me?

  He takes another step closer and I automatically take another step back.

  Stop! Stop retreating.

  Maybe if I run at him instead of away from him, it’ll shock him so much I can get away.

  Yes, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to charge him when he takes another step. If I hit him just right, I can knock him off balance and then I just have to run like hell.

  It’ll work.

  It has to work. Stay calm, Rose, and pay attention.

  I watch him and as a look of glee comes over his face and he takes another step toward me, I grip the pitch-fork as tightly as I can and I run straight at him. He’s expecting me to retreat, so his eyes widen, but he doesn’t have time to move as I barrel straight into him.

  I hit him hard and he stumbles. He starts to fall from the impact and he screams out in rage, “You little bitch!” and reaches for me, but he misses.

  I don’t stop to make sure he hits the ground. I just keep running for the door as I hear him cussing and scrambling behind me.

  My heart is racing and I can’t breathe as I run to the door like my life depends on it. I can see the colors of the setting sun through the crack in the door and my only hope is to get to it. Once I clear the door, he won’t chase me.

  We’ll be in the yard and people will be around. Maybe not close enough to stop him if he did chase me, but close enough that they would see and I don’t think he wants that. He wants me trapped and vulnerable.

  I reach the door and fly through it. My shoulder hits the jamb and pain shoots down my arm, but I still don’t stop running. I don’t even realize I’m still running and that I’m actually out in the open. My flight instinct is too strong.

  The house is right in front of me and someone steps in my path. Arms grab me and I scream and flail as I try to fight them off. It takes me a minute to realize that they are not trying to harm me and then a freaked out voice breaks through the haze. “Rose, what the hell is wrong? Rose! What’s happening? Who are you running from?”

  My frantic gaze meets his terrified one and I slump into his arms as the pitch-fork falls to the dirt. My arms circle his waist and I bury my face into his chest. “Hector! Oh my God, Hector. How are you here? How did you find me? What are you doing here?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Jaye

  I’m exhausted after making the deliveries in town and warding off the advances of several of my bedmates. Many were extremely pissed when they realized that I wasn’t in the mood to fuck them today.

  Three women threw things at me and my shirt is covered in the remnants of a busted egg. I tried to tell Mrs. Furrell that I had to hurry back to the farm today and that I had a shitload of other deliveries, but she didn’t buy it. She pouted and tried to persuade me to fuck her in the kitchen, but when I stayed adamant that I really couldn’t, she dropped to her knees and undid my pants in the middle of her kitchen. My hand was on the doorknob and I could have pushed her off, but I figured if she wanted to suck my dick so badly, then I’d let her.

  Of course, right when I was about to blow, she stopped and told me to fuck her on the counter. I didn’t and she cussed me out and grabbed the closest thing to her… the eggs I’d delivered, and started throwing them. She wasted about ten eggs and has a hell of a mess to clean, because her aim sucked. She screamed at me that I had better never come back or show my face in town and that she was calling the Meagers to complain.

  I turned around in her driveway at that and screamed back at her, “Go ahead! I’m done with fucking you anyway. You’re fucking crazy! Something is wrong with you that you are so hot for young dick anyway! How about you fuck your husband, you gold digging whore!” At that, she flung the egg that made contact with my shirt as she shrieked at me. I ran to the truck and started it as she started beating on the windows and trying to open the door.

  That bitch is nuts!

  I didn’t realize that her neighbors were outside until I was already in the truck.

  Shit!

  I think about the repercussions of that scene as I head back to the farm. I didn’t have sex tonight. I could have and I would have been able to tuck away a good bit of money, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.

  I shouldn’t have let Rose walk out like that today. I should have stopped her.

  I don’t know what she’s thinking, but I saw the tears she was trying to hide. It broke my heart.

  I hurt her and I broke her heart and I can’t stop thinking about the way that made me feel.

  I care about her. I think I’m in love with her and that scares the shit out of me. She’s just a kid. A beautiful and perfect kid who’s been through more heartache than anyone should face in a lifetime before she’s even fifteen.

  The reality is that in three months, I can legally leave here. I can hit the road and leave all this behind me and no one could stop me. She’s fifteen in two days. She has three more years before she can go anywhere.

  According to the law, in three weeks, I’ll be an adult and she’ll be a child. Any relationship we would have would be illegal.

  No one would know, because we live in the middle of nowhere… and I can’t just leave her.

  I can wait. I will wait for her. I can just stick around and protect her. We can be together, but not together. I’m fine with not touching her. I respect her too much to do that to her anyway. She’s not like other girls.

  She’s nothing like the women I screw. I lost my virginity when I was fifteen, to a married forty-year-old woman and since then, I’ve screwed countless other married women. The youngest person I’ve ever been with was twenty-four.

  I don’t want Rose to have that. Her first time needs to be special. It needs to be memorable and it needs to be with someone she loves.

  Does she love me?

  I’m not taking it from her. Not like that. If she loves me and she wants me to take that from her… I don’t know if she’s even thinking like that.

  If she is, we’re waiting. We’re going to wait until she’s eighteen and it’s legal. We’re going to wait until we’re both free from this hell to take that step.

  I can change who I am. I can change the things I do. I want to change for Rose.

  I want to be better.

  I need to be better.

  I need to become someone deserving of her.

  Today was a good start!

  I can’t wait to tell he
r. I hope she talks to me and doesn’t tell me to fuck off though.

  I brood and worry in silence as I head back to the farm. The sky is just turning dark as I pull through the gates of hell. A strange truck is in front of the house. I pull around it and park in my usual spot near the barn before glancing back at it.

  What the fuck is this?

  Who is that guy and why is his arm around Rose?

  They are sitting in the back of the truck and she’s tucked into his side. He’s looking down at her and she’s looking up at him as her head rests on his shoulder.

  Rage and jealousy spear through me.

  Without thinking it through, I march over to them and as I get to the truck, they don’t even notice my approach.

  My blood is roaring through my veins as I watch them. I stop at the back of the truck and rudely ask, “Who’s your friend, Rose?”

  She shrieks and cowers and my brow furrows as I realize she’s shaking. The guy, who’s Hispanic, turns and glares at me. My frown deepens as I glance away from him and my gaze travels over Rose.

  As my eyes travel over her body, they widen and I feel the burn of rage building again. Turning back to the guy, I scream at him, “What the fuck? Why is her dress ripped, asshole? Who the fuck are you and what the fuck did you do to her?”

  My hands fist and I try to calm the fury running through me. I’ll kill him.

  His eyes widen and his jaw drops as he stares at me. He looks down at my clenched hands and sputters, “What did I do? I didn’t do anything to her!”

  Rose’s eyes are wide and frightened as she realizes what’s about to happen. She hops down from the truck bed and races over to me. “Jaye. Stop. Hugo didn’t do anything to me. Stop. He didn’t do this. You’re reading this wrong.”

  Her small hands clutch at mine and I stare at her in disbelief. “Who the fuck is this guy, Rose? And what happened to you?”

  Her small hands are cradling mine and it calms me. Finally, I breathe deeply and look down at her, but I’m still keeping an eye on the guy.

  She looks away from me and back at Hugo, who has gotten out of the truck and is now standing in front of us, too. Her fingers entwine with mine and I feel a surge of joy and protectiveness flow through me.

  Yeah, she’s holding my hand, dude.

  She squeezes my hand and I look down at her again. She looks frightened as she says, “This is my friend, Hugo. My friend from San Antonio.” She looks from me to the boy. “Hugo, this is Jaye.”

  He nods. “Yeah, I figured.”

  I nod back at him, but I still want to know why he’s here.

  Rose looks between us and sighs. “Come on. Both of you sit. Neither of you is a threat to the other, so everyone just sit down and chill.”

  She yanks my hand and leads me to the tailgate of the truck. I lift her and she sits and then I stand next to her. Hugo watches me carefully and sits on the other side of her, making sure to leave about a foot between them.

  My brow arches and he smirks slyly at me. “Dude, I see the look on your face. I don’t want you to hit me. I’m not a threat to you.”

  I chuckle and nod at him and Rose sighs and says, “Both of you behave. Stop being stupid.”

  I see her torn sleeve again and I know I want answers. Pointing at her shoulder, I ask, “What happened to you, Rose?”

  She bites her lip and looks at the ground as a shudder trails through her. I don’t like this. I don’t know what she’s going to say, but I know that I’m not going to like it. I can already feel the pulse in my blood.

  I make a valiant effort to calm down as I wait for her to tell me what happened.

  She’s shaking on the truck bed and Hugo is leaning on his knees as he watches her. He looks pissed, too.

  Rose peeks at me from under her lashes. “Jaye, don’t lose it, ok? Promise me that you won’t fly off the handle.”

  Promise her I won’t fly off the handle?! What the fuck?!

  I grit out harsher than I intend, “Tell me, Rose! Now!”

  She jumps from the boom of my voice and Hugo glares at me. “Chill, dude! Don’t scare her more!”

  I nod and calm my voice as I say, “I’m sorry, but you have me worried and I know I’m not going to like it. I’m not going to make you a promise that I can’t keep, Rose.”

  She lets out a resigned sigh and takes both of my hands in hers. Then, she says flatly, “Tobias.”

  My vision goes red with rage as she finishes. “It was Tobias. He cornered me in the barn.”

  My hands squeeze hers so hard she gasps. I immediately lighten my grip, but I spit out, “What happened? Tell me exactly and don’t leave anything out.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Rose

  I’m scared to tell Jaye what happened. Not scared of him, but scared of what he might do to Tobias. Not that he doesn’t deserve whatever it is, but I don’t want Jaye in trouble.

  I can’t lose him.

  I look at Jaye and can plainly see that he’s restraining himself. Glancing at Hugo, I try to convey my worry. I really don’t want Jaye attacking Tobias and he will.

  Hugo is looking at me and he seems to understand what I’m trying to tell him. He stands up and stretches.

  As I look at them both, I notice that Hugo is bigger than Jaye is. He’s broader and more muscular, but Jaye is tighter. Jaye works the farm and his muscles are from manual labor. Hugo’s are from sports and the gym. But, I think Hugo could hold him if he needs to.

  I look from Hugo back to Jaye and Hugo gives a slight, almost imperceptible nod.

  Reaching out, I take Jaye’s hands again and then I look at him, imploring him to focus on me and trying to control his response. “Ok… after our talk this morning… I wanted to be by myself, so I went into the barn to muck out the stalls. No one likes to do it and I knew that I’d be left alone in there.” I run my thumbs over the tops of his clenched hands. “I was, of course. I was in there for a long time. I was on the second to last stall and I felt his presence. I knew better than to back myself into a corner with him, so I tried to get to the door without him knowing that I realized he was there. It didn’t work.”

  His breath whooshes out and his hands tighten on mine. I look up and see him clenching his teeth.

  “He started advancing on me and saying things that made my skin crawl. I knew I had to get away from him. I was holding the pitch-fork because I had been changing out the hay when he came in. I tightened my grip on it and he laughed at me. He asked me what I was planning on doing with that and I wasn’t sure I could actually use it. So, I made a decision and I charged at him. He wasn’t expecting me to do that, so I caught him off guard. I knocked him down and ran outside as fast as I could. The door was only open a crack, so I slammed into the jam with my shoulder. It tore my dress. I kept running through the pain and ran straight into Hugo.”

  I glance at Hugo and his face is also covered in rage. But, I’m more worried about Jaye. Taking a deep breath, I look up at him. His face is white and his lips have no color they are so tight. I can see his eyes flashing and the look of hatred on his face scares me to death.

  He lets go of my hands and I reach out for him as he screams in rage, “I’m going to kill that mother fucker!”

  I scream at Hugo in panic, “Stop him! Don’t let him get to him. He’ll kill him. They’ll put him in jail. Please stop him.”

  Jaye is striding across the yard when Hugo tackles him. They fight for a bit as they roll in the dirt. Jaye is screaming at Hugo to get off of him and to let him go. I’m screaming at him to not let him up.

  Both guys are trying to keep the other down and Jaye is punching Hugo in the ribs to try to make him let him go.

  Tears are streaming down my face as I race over to them and throw myself into the melee. I’m gasping and crying as I fling myself on top of them. I manage to squirm in between the flying fists and I lie on top of Jaye.

  When he realizes I’m on him, he stops fighting and lays his head back in the dirt. Hugo rolls and
flops onto his back as he struggles to catch his breath. All three of us are out of breath and I’m crying so hard, I can’t see.

  I look down to Jaye and see scratches on his face from the rocks in the dirt. His face is dirt streaked and his hair is stuck to his head from sweat. My tears fall onto his face and make red trails as they roll through the dirt.

  Glancing over, I see that Hugo is rubbing his lip where it’s busted.

  I look back at Jaye and he’s just breathing deeply as he stares straight up at the dark sky. He moves his head and his eyes meet mine. His hands reach out and cradle my face and his voice is choked as he says, “You can’t allow him to get you alone, Rose. You can’t. The things he’d do to you. I can’t bear it. Do you understand? You have to stay away from him.”

  I nod in understanding and lean my head against his. My tears continue to fall as I whisper, “I know. But, I can’t lose you, Jaye. If you go after him, they’ll take you away from me. Everyone leaves me. I lose everyone and I can’t lose you.

  “I can’t lose you. I love you.”

  He grabs my face and stares into my eyes as my tears rain down over him. He groans, “I love you, too. God help me and may He forgive me, but I love you too, Rose.” His mouth captures mine.

  We kiss frantically as the realization sets in.

  Finally, an uncomfortable cough breaks through our moment. I lift my head and we both turn to see Hugo staring into the dirt next to us. His cheeks are flushed.

  Sitting up, I pull Jaye’s hands. He sits up too and leans against his knee. He looks at Hugo and says, “Thanks for stopping me. I’m sorry I hit you.”

  Hugo glances over and shrugs. “No problem.” He rubs his mouth again and the blood smears. “You pack a mean wallop.” He smirks slightly before his face gets serious. He holds Jaye’s gaze. “She’s right. You can’t attack him, man. Even though he deserves it…you can’t. They’ll take you away. You could go to jail.

  “If you go to jail… what happens to her?!” He grimaces. “You can’t attack him.”

  Jaye nods. “I know.” He looks at me and his thumb traces my cheek. “I’m not leaving you. Ever. I’ll protect you. No matter what.” He sighs and punches the ground. “I’m staying until we can both leave. But, as soon as we can, I’m taking you and we’re running so far and fast…”