by Skye Turner
My stomach drops at the mention of Jaye’s friend being a cop. Today is Jaye’s birthday. He’s now eighteen… an adult in the eyes of the law and I’m not. I’m only fifteen. Though our relationship is strictly kissing and hand holding, I know that should someone want to make a stink about our age difference, he could get into a lot of trouble.
Raquel must notice the unease on my face because she claps my shoulder and says softly, “Rose, it’s ok. Sam is a really good guy.” A look comes over her face that unnerves me. She says softly, “He reminds me that not all men are bad and want to hurt you.
“Jaye has known him since he was three and he lost his mamá. He told me that Sam wanted to adopt him but that because he was single and had no family they turned him down multiple times. They thought the responsibility was too much for him.” She snorts and her accent thickens. “Yeah, instead of giving a child to a man with a career that protects people, they thought foster care was the best fit.” She laughs harshly. “Estúpido folladoras.”
I nod as I think about what she said. Then, I ask, “He’s known Jaye for fourteen years then?”
She grunts. “Yeah. Jaye came here right after I did. I was only twelve when I was sent here. He was around fourteen.” She looks around the yard and jabs her toe into the dirt. “This is where the sidewalk ends.”
I don’t understand what she’s saying, so I ask her. “What? What does that mean?! Where the sidewalk ends?”
She laughs harshly as she looks at me. “You know… like in a town… the sidewalks are all paved and pretty in the parts that they want you to see. But as you leave the center and reach the outskirts they start to crack and the farther out you get, they just don’t have them. This is like that. It’s the end of the road. The last resort. It’s hell… where the sidewalk ends.”
Oh, I get it now.
She’s right. My case worker even said as much when she dropped me off. She said this was the last place she had to put me.
The end of the line.
Where the sidewalk ends…
We work in silence. Raquel feeds the chickens while I gather the eggs, but I can’t stop from glancing in the direction of the barn. It’s where I saw Jaye and the man, Sam, disappear a bit ago.
I’m worried about what he’s telling him in there.
Is he going to tell Jaye that he needs to leave now that he’s an adult?!
Finally, we’re done with the tedious task and Raquel says, “Hey, come on. You should meet Sam.”
I jerk on her hand and she stops and looks at me curiously. My hands are sweating and my stomach hurts. I just stare at her in despair.
She shakes her head and puts her hands on my shoulders. “Look, I get it. I hate men, but Sam is not like most of the others. He really is a good guy.” She looks away from me and toward the barn. Her hands are shaking on my shoulders and I place the basket of eggs down and cover hers with mine. She looks at me and the despair on her face guts me. Her eyes are glassy with tears, but then she shakes her head and as her hair escapes from her dark braid, her face clears.
I whisper, “What have they done to you? To all of you?”
She grimaces. “More than you can imagine. But you don’t need to worry about it. It won’t happen to you. I promise.”
My chest hurts as I imagine the possibilities of the hell that Raquel and the other girls have endured. I can’t even imagine, but if Tobias tried to hurt me in the barn… has he actually gotten ahold of the other girls?
They protect me. Jaye protects me, but why? Who protects them?
My own eyes fill with tears and I squeeze her hands. She squeezes back before shrugging my hands off and reaching down to grab her basket. She starts walking to the barn and calls over her shoulder, “Come on, Rose. Let’s not give the wardens a reason to come looking for us.”
With a quickness to my step, I run after her with the basket of eggs.
As we reach the barn, we hear arguing, but not like we’re used to. We’re used to drunken slurs and insults along with things breaking or being hit. This is just agitated voices. One is Jaye and the other is the voice I heard on the wind when the cowboy arrived.
The doors are open, though it’s hard to hear what’s being said. I can clearly make out that they are arguing though.
Does it have anything to do with me? Is Sam going to make Jaye leave with him? Am I going to lose him, too?
I start to have difficulty breathing and my chest tightens. Raquel must hear my ensuing panic attack because she turns and bends down into my face. “Stop it. Breathe, Rose. Stop it. We don’t have time for this right now. Nothing bad is going to happen. Sam is not like that. Jaye is fine. You’re fine. Everyone is fine. Calm down and breathe.”
I look at her and she’s blurry. She shakes me and says harshly, “I mean it! Stop it right now!”
I make an effort to blink and try to breathe through my nose and exhale through my mouth.
We must have been loud because soon, I feel hands I recognize on my face and Jaye is calmly saying, “Breathe in. Breathe out. That’s it, baby. Deep breaths.”
His presence calms me. Until I hear Jaye ask Raquel, “What the hell happened? Did something happen?”
I try to talk, but I can’t yet. My pulse is calming as Raquel says, “No, nothing. She just saw you with Sam and got worried when I said he was a cop.”
Jaye looks into my face and says, “Rose, is that true? It’s ok. Sam is good people.”
I blink at him and as I see Sam step out of the barn, my gaze is drawn to him. My breath catches as he watches me. His face is lined with concern as he asks Jaye, “Is she ok? What’s wrong?”
Jaye answers him while still looking at me. “You made her nervous.”
Sam says exasperatedly, “I made her nervous? Why?”
Finally, I find my voice. “I’m sorry. I don’t have the best luck with people. I didn’t know what you were here for… and I heard arguing.”
Sam blinks and his lips flatten as he looks from me to Jaye to Raquel. His face softens as he smiles at me. It’s genuine. He doesn’t come any closer, but says, “Hello, Rose. I’m Sam.” He nods at Jaye. “I came to see this guy. He’s a friend of mine. I’ve known him a long time.”
I nod. “Raquel told me.”
He laughs. “I can imagine what she said.”
She sputters and her cheeks flush. “I didn’t say anything bad!”
I’ve never seen her blush or be unnerved before. It makes me smile. “She didn’t say anything bad. It was all good actually.”
He smiles at her again and she looks hurriedly away. “I know. I was just teasing her.”
Jaye laughs and pulls me into his side. He looks down at me and whispers, “You ok now?”
I nod and smile up at him. When I look up, Sam is watching us both with a strange look on his face.
In a blink, it’s gone and he smiles again. He looks at the three of us and says, “I was about to take Jaye into town to grab a bite to eat at the diner. Would you two like to come?”
Raquel gasps and says, “Oh, we don’t go into town much…”
She’s right. I’ve been here a year now and I’ve never left the farm. I’ve never been into town. I don’t even remember which way town is…
Sam frowns and chokes out, “For the love…”
Jaye cuts him off with a look. They have a silent conversation and then Sam glances at all of us again and says, “Wait here.”
He walks to the house and we all stare after him.
Jaye grimaces and looks down at me as I stare after Sam in wonder. “Well, get ready, girls. I guarantee you that Sam is telling Tobias that we’re all heading into town and daring him to say differently.”
Still looking in awe in the direction Sam just disappeared, I mutter, “Wow. He’s very intimidating. Do you think Tobias would disagree with him?”
Jaye laughs harshly. “Not if he knows what’s good for him. Sam is a good guy, but he doesn’t like the way things are run around here and Tob
ias knows it. Things are always quieter for a bit after Sam stops by.”
Raquel nods and whispers, “Yeah, they are. I wish he’d come by all the time.”
Jaye whispers in my ear, “Raquel has a bit of hero worship for Sam.”
She glares at him. “I fucking heard that, asshole.”
He laughs. “So?”
She mutters as she looks at the house, “Yeah well, he’s a genuine good guy. I wish all men took after him.”
Jaye gets serious as he says, “Yeah, I know. I wish they did, too.”
They exchange a look and I feel left out, but it ends quickly as Sam opens the door and heads down the steps. He’s tossing his keys from hand to hand and calls out, “Y’all ready, kids?”
Jaye herds us to Sam’s dusty truck and as I climb into the seat, I glance back at the house. Tobias is standing in the doorway and the look of pure hatred on his face is unmistakable.
A shiver races down my back as I settle between Jaye and Raquel on the soft worn leather seat.
My feet bump a box and I look down. It’s a haphazardly wrapped gift. Sam sees me look down and tells Jaye to grab it from the floorboard.
Jaye does and as Sam tells him gruffly that it’s for him, Jaye just traces the paper lovingly with his fingers. Finally, Sam says in a stern voice, “I got it for you to open, son, not to stare at.”
As Sam pulls out of the yard, Jaye sighs and opens the box. He gasps as he finds what’s hidden inside. Sam glances over and I see the happiness and pride on his face.
Jaye looks up and doesn’t bother to hide the tears in his eyes. He says, “It’s too much, Sam. I…”
Sam cuts him off. “Never you mind all that. Every man needs a good leather jacket. Now you have one, son.” He clears his throat and gruffly says, “Say thank you.”
Jaye looks at him with love and whispers, “Thank you, Sam.”
Both men are choked up and I look out the window to cover my own emotions.
Chapter Sixteen
Jaye
Sam took us to the diner as promised and as uncomfortable as it was, it was also nice. It almost felt like we were a family and that I was out with my father and my girlfriend. It felt… normal.
Normal is not something any of us have regularly.
Sam is an observant man and I know he saw the glares I received from patrons of the diner… Women I fuck… They were not happy to see me in there with Sam, but more than that, I think that they saw Rose sitting close to me and a couple of times, I covered her hand with mine before I remembered where we were and jerked it back.
There were also more than a few inquisitive glances at Rose and those glances raised my hackles and enraged me.
I’m not sure that bringing the two girls into town, especially this fucked up town, was smart. But, Sam wouldn’t know that. It’s not something I’ve ever discussed with him. Though… he’s asked a time or two.
Rose was oblivious to everyone. She gorged herself on a burger and fries and even demolished an entire chocolate sundae when she was done. I enjoyed watching her. Treats like today are not something she’s had in far too long.
I want to spoil her. I want to be able to take her to eat at a diner or restaurant whenever I want to. I want to be free to spend time with her and not have to worry about women I’ve slept with shooting her dirty looks or making rude comments about her. I want to not have to constantly feel like I’m watching my back for the husbands of the women I screw to attack me or for them to ogle a fifteen year old girl in a disgusting way.
But, I can’t do any of that. As long as she’s in the system and we’re in this hellhole, I’ll have to continue to do the things I hate just to protect her. It’ll all be worth it on the day that I can break her free from this life.
Sam paid the bill and the girls thanked him profusely. When we got back to the farm, the girls headed into the house to get ready for bed and Sam and I stayed out in the yard. We leaned on the truck and shot the shit for a bit. He asked me my intentions as far as Rose and warned me that I was walking a thin line.
I knew what he was saying. He’s a cop and his job is to enforce the law. My having a relationship with a fifteen year old girl is against the law. But, I assured him that it wasn’t like that and that I had no intention of touching her in any inappropriate way. He believed me, but warned me that I had to be really careful and that it might be best to keep our feelings on the down low.
I know he’s right…
Before he left, he asked me the one thing he always asks. “Jaye, is anything going on here that I need to know about?”
I want so badly to tell him, but I can’t. I know that I can’t. So, I do the same thing I always do and I lie. “No, Sam. It’s not a great place to live and the Meagers are not kind people, but nothing is going on that you need to know about. Nothing that I can’t handle.”
He sighs and looks at the sky before he stares at me. The blue of his eyes almost matches mine. We could almost pass for father and son… Maybe in another life we could have. Then, clasping my shoulder, he hugs me. “You take care, Jaye. If you ever need me… for anything… you call me. Ok? I’ll do whatever I can to help you. You know that.”
I do know that. He would. He would give up his badge to protect me and since that could very well happen… I stay silent.
If Sam ever found out what happens at this farm and in this town… he wouldn’t rest until every single person was dead or in prison and since everyone in this fuckhole town is involved… I can’t risk that.
Besides… if the state takes the kids from here… where will they go? What would happen to Rose?
No… I can handle it. I’ll just stay on and do everything I can to protect her. I’m an adult now. That has to give me a little bit more power, right?!
It’s only a few more years…
Sam and I say our goodbyes and he hands me my gift as he cranks the engine and drives away. I can see on his face before he leaves that he wants me to tell him and that he’s disappointed I still have secrets, but they are mine to keep and I’m not involving him.
Tucking my leather jacket under my arm, I head to my bunk in the barn and before I turn in, I look to the window of the house. Rose is looking down at me. She waves and I wave before the curtain closes and she disappears from sight.
The keeper of my heart is in that house and until I can take her with me… I’m staying put.
*
It’s been about six weeks since my birthday and Sam’s visit. Things have been quiet with the Meagers and other than Tobias making a snide comment about my still being around, he’s left me to my own devices. I still work around the farm and make the deliveries, but I’ve cut back on my number of bedmates. Several were not happy, but one of the other fosters, Marshall, took over and no real issues came up.
Until today… Mrs. Furrell is on my stop today as Marshall fell off a horse yesterday and I think he broke his leg. Of course, I had to help set it when Tobias realized it was really bad and the town doctor came out. Marshall is down for the count for a bit, so I’m taking over his deliveries and tasks on the farm.
Of course the “good old doctor” spent some time with Raquel before he left. He sauntered out whistling and she locked herself in the house for the remainder of the day. I can imagine what happened, but I don’t like it. It makes me sick. All of the girls do it, except Rose. It’s no different than my sleeping with the married women, only the men come out to the farm. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember. Tobias fucks them too and while they hate it and hate him, they do it for new clothes or a decent meal.
The things that happen on that farm make me sick. The whole town is in on it. And no one cares. What is wrong with these sick fucks that they screw teenagers?!
That is not normal and it’s absolutely disgusting. Rose is safe… for now. She’s never alone with anyone and Tobias usually likes the girls to be sixteen or so before he allows them to service the sickos. I know for a fact that he messed with Raquel when s
he was only thirteen though. She finally disclosed all of the disgusting details to me.
Rose snuck into my room last night. Raquel was crying and Rose figured out what had happened. She came to me appalled, and then got angry when I told her that I knew. She wanted me to do something to make them stop, but I told her that there was nothing I could do. The girls allow it. None of them are forced and though they hate it, they do it.
I’m no different. I hate screwing these women, but I do it. I fuck them and make them scream and then I take their gifts and move on to the next one. I don’t look at them and I don’t care. I hate them all.
As my feelings for Rose grow with every day, I hate myself more and more, but I’m hoarding over nine thousand dollars now. That money will help us break free… I keep telling myself this as my rage and disgust builds with every notch on the post.
What happens when we finally do break free? What happens when we can leave and we can have a real relationship? Will she even want to touch me after everything I’ve done?
I don’t want to tarnish her with my filth.
My thoughts are morose as I pull up at Mrs. Furrell’s house. Taking a deep breath and grabbing the eggs and milk, I stroll up the walkway to the door. It’s cooled off some and there’s a slight chill in the air. I’m wearing my jacket from Sam.
She opens the door with a cold smirk as she trails her gaze over my body. Her eyes stop on my crotch and my traitorous cock starts to stir as she licks her lips.
She notices and chuckles. “It almost looks like you’re happy to see me, Jaye.”
I grunt and glare at her as I brush past her and walk into her kitchen. Setting the eggs on the counter, I turn. She’s right behind me. Her hand grasps me through my jeans and she squeezes. I can’t stop my body’s reaction and my cock hardens.
She pops the button on my jeans and reaches inside as she mutters, “Are you going to make me scream, Jaye?”
