Transformation

by Rosemary Nourse

  They all sat there together, Tray's arm around her, the puppy curled up in her lap and lightly snoring as they enjoyed the fire.

  "Now this is heaven," Kate said in all seriousness.

  Tray began to laugh.

  "What," she asked.

  "Nothing, you're funny."

  "What's better than sitting in front of a fire on a cold night with the person you love and a warm puppy curled up in your lap?"

  "I can think of only one thing better."

  "It's too early to go to bed," she smiled back at him.

  "It's never too early for bed, but that's not what I'm talking about. Knowing we'd be spending the rest of our lives together would be my ultimate happiness."

  Kate was shocked, she didn't know what to say.

  "What are you saying Tray?"

  "Marriage, I think we should talk about it."

  "Are you asking me?"

  "Would you say yes?"

  "I don't know," she said, taken aback.

  "That's why we need to discuss it."

  "Are you ready for that?" she asked.

  "I think so, I'm gonna be forty in a couple of years, I should hope I'm ready. What about you?"

  "I don't want to be with anyone else, I'm not into the dating scene and have no desire to be."

  "I'm not interested in ever loving anyone else, I'm sure I couldn't after being with you," he added.

  "I feel the same way," she replied.

  "Exactly how many times have you been in love, I don't think you've ever told me."

  "Never."

  "Never?" he said in surprise.

  "Does that bother you?'

  "A little," he admitted.

  "Why?"

  "Because experience usually brings wisdom, I want you to be sure that this is the best relationship you'll ever have, not to wonder later on if there's something or someone you're missing out on," he explained sensibly.

  That's a question of maturity and character, there's plenty of people who've dated extensively and they still feel they're missing out on someone better. I've watched my friend Rita, people I worked with, my mom and all their crazy relationships, infidelities, and heartaches. I've gathered my own wisdom through that, I don't need to experience horrible relationships or jack-asses to know what I want," she stated with conviction.

  "You're very convincing, you should run for city council," he replied.

  "Maybe I will one day."

  "I'd vote for you."

  "You'd better," she smiled at him and gave him a long, warm kiss. "Yes."

  "Yes what?"

  "If you ask, the answer will be yes," she told him.

  "Then you will be asked, but not here and not tonight, it has to be special," he stated.

  "This is special."

  "No, I have some ideas..."

  "I had no idea you were such a romantic," she smiled.

  "I want to do it right, do it once and do it right," he said softly.

  "How long do I have to wait?"

  "No hints, not long though. You can wait, I've been waiting all my life for you, so you can wait a bit longer," he teased her.

  She laid her head on his shoulder, staring into the orange flames as the dog snored on her lap.

  Typical of October, the mornings and evenings were biting cold, usually dropping to the thirties and accompanied by a whistling wind, but the afternoons still reached a comfortable level of warmth with the midday sun beating down upon the pastures and those who toiled in them.

  It was almost noon as Kate worked with Eddie unloading some of the feed that had just come in. She couldn't help but think about Tray and what he'd said to her about a proposal, it was always in the back of her mind.

  Suddenly, she felt sick to her stomach and ran behind one of the buildings to vomit.

  "What's wrong, you're sick," Eddie said as she reappeared a minute later, thinking no one had noticed.

  "I don't know, probably ate too much for breakfast."

  "Did not, no more than usual. Are you pregnant?" he asked her bluntly.

  "No, I am not," she responded strongly.

  "Then what are you so upset about that it's making you puke?"

  "Nothing, I must be getting a bug, Colby was out a few days last week," she replied.

  "Maybe or maybe you don't want to marry Tray and your body's telling you so."

  "Thanks, Dr. Freud, and how did you know about that anyway?" she demanded.

  "He told Burt he was thinking about asking you to marry him, asked for his advice."

  "Really, and what did Burt say?" she wondered.

  "That he should definitely go for it."

  "Good to know. But how did you find out?"

  "I was in the back of one of the stables when Tray was talking about it, I overheard, not that I wanted to," he explained.

  "Great, maybe you should join the Colton gossip circle, you know what I'm talking about, those ladies in town who discuss everybody while they're quilting on Sundays."

  "Hey, believe me, I didn't want to hear it. I got no interest in anyone else's romance except my own."

  "Sure, Eddie. I expect to be the first to know when you're about to ask Lisa to marry you."

  "Fine, I don't care, as long as you don't tell her," he shrugged his shoulders.

  "And for your information, I do want to marry Tray. I'm just not quite ready yet."

  "What are you waiting for, a sign from God?"

  "Maybe."

  He gave her a perplexed look as they continued their chore to completion.

  That night, Eddie's words rang in her head, Kate wasn't ready to admit that he could be right. Instead of enjoying the fact that a wonderful man was going to ask her to marry him, it loomed over her head like something dreadful. She couldn't enter into the most important commitment of a person's life in a dishonest way and her body was telling her so. She wasn't the kind of person who could live a life of deceit.

  Tray called Kate at the end of that week. Both of them were so busy, they were lucky if they got to see one another once a week—at most. Periodically they'd spot each other at Red Oak, but not at meals anymore. Supper had been pushed to a later hour because of needing more time to work before dark and it wasn't convenient for Tray's schedule. He had to get home to his own place and take care of its many needs.

  They weren't sleeping together as much because Kate was only getting four hours of sleep a night as it was and if Tray were there, they always made love and her sleeping time was even less. She couldn't function on less than four hours of sleep a night.

  So they talked on the phone and tried to meet up on Sunday afternoons, which seemed to be the only good time. Kate discovered that seeing Tray less was a relief in some ways and therefore felt a little more relaxed. If she didn't see him, she didn't have to think about the burden of dishonesty she carried.

  The pup had settled into a comfortable life with Kate. She'd been easily housebroken and could be trusted to roam the house freely while Kate was working. Kate stopped in to let her out during her lunch break and Molly did the same after school. The dog practically named herself that Sunday evening while Kate was outside in the garden. As Kate was bent over, preoccupied with snipping the dead blooms off the large mums, the pup was doing her own brand of gardening. She proudly strutted up to Kate with a mouthful of marigolds that she'd just dug up. "Oh no, my marigolds," Kate gasped as she caught a glimpse of her dog, "well, we're gonna put these mari—, that's it, your name's Mari."

  Mari seemed to like her new name as she dropped the bunch of drooping flowers at her master's feet and chased a fat toad that happened to spring by her instead.

  The warm air of the fading October afternoon didn't mix well with the icy cold front that was quickly moving in. The extremes battled each other and began a whirling war of raging currents.

  Eddie was the first to notice.

  "Sky's turning green, Kate," he yelled to her as the breeze that had been blowing all afternoon suddenly kicked up to a forc
eful wind. "Get the cows back in the barn. Colby, get the pigs and chickens and whatever else you can grab in too."

  Colby, Kate and Eddie moved fast as the sky grew greener and darker and the animals became spooked by it all.

  "What's wrong?" Kate called to Eddie as they latched the doors, the wind now fiercely blowing and the sky turning ominously midnight black.

  "Tornado's coming," he yelled back to her.

  She knew he was going to say that, even though she'd never been through a tornado before, she'd heard about green skies. Scenes from the movie "Twister" filled her head.

  "I'm going down to the stables to help Burt and the others with the horses. Get back to the main house, lock up everything you can on the way down," he instructed her as he jumped in his truck and screeched away.

  She and Colby locked up the hay barn, another storage barn and the garage on the way down to the main house. Those few minutes seemed to take hours.

  She thought about Molly and Tray, it was four thirty, Molly must have been home from the bus stop by now. She had crazy thoughts about something happening and her being stuck in school or lost in the fields walking home from the stop. They passed by the bus stop on the way down to the main house, there was no one there.

  She had to hold onto Colby as they fought the ferocious winds and ran into the house. Marge had been waiting for them to get there, a worried look upon her face.

  "Molly's in the cellar, she's a little scared, maybe you could go down there with her Colby while Kate helps me."

  He nodded his head, grabbed a large flashlight off the kitchen table and went downstairs.

  "What about the people at the stables?" Kate asked Marge as she helped her open all the downstairs windows to equal the air pressure.

  "We've got an underground shelter out there, it's just like a cellar, they'll be fine," she said with faith, trying to reassure herself and Kate.

  The wind was sounding like a freight train and Kate wanted to head downstairs, but Marge was looking around the house as if there was something else she could do to protect it and her beloved objects that were in it. Suddenly they heard the screech of brakes and Tray burst in the door.

  "It's right behind me, get downstairs now," he ordered them.

  There was an old mattress leaning against the back corner wall of the cellar, left specifically for this purpose. They all huddled together as Tray and Colby pulled the mattress over their backs and heads, holding it there. Molly clung to Marge and cried. Kate kept her face buried against Tray's chest, not saying a word. Everyone was quiet. Soon the roaring winds came directly over them and the sound was deafening. They heard the squeaking of wood being pulled away and the breaking of glass. The ground seemed to shake beneath them, but the wind did not enter their shelter and the door to the cellar held fast. Kate prayed to herself the entire time, as everyone did. And then it was over, the air sounding very quiet and still. They were afraid to move, not wanting to leave the safety of their shelter, wondering if the tornado was still looming outside, waiting to turn around and come back over them.

  Finally Tray slipped out from under the mattress, telling them he was going to check upstairs and that everyone should remain where they were until he came back with word that it was safe. They watched him walk up the stairs and unlatch the door, wondering what faced him up there. Light poured in the door as he opened it and disappeared. He stuck his head down a few minutes later and informed them it was safe to come out.

  They walked upstairs slowly. The sky was only partly cloudy now, the funnel cloud must have dissipated or moved on. The house was turned upside down. Some of the windows were blown out, most of the furniture was either knocked over or lying upside down. Marge continued on to the second floor to further inspect the damage. She came back down.

  "It's worse down here than upstairs, we're just missing parts of our roof," she said matter-of-factly.

  "We can repair that in no time," Colby spoke up, trying to be positive.

  "How about we clean this up, Kate?" Marge resumed her fearless spirit.

  "Yes, let's get to work," Kate tried to sound as brave as Marge did.

  "Molly, maybe you and Colby could straighten the upstairs," Marge suggested.

  "Yes Ma'am," she smiled at her mother before running up to her room.

  "I'll go check on Burt and the guys down at the stables," Tray remarked to Marge, wanting to put her mind at ease. His eyes met Kate's, reassuring her that everything would be okay.

  Kate and Marge worked for hours until everything was back to the way it normally was. Five of the downstairs windows needed to be replaced, which Burt would do tomorrow with some of the hands, along with repairing the shingles that had been stripped away from the roof. None of the furniture had been damaged, just banged around a bit. Many of Marge's knickknacks lay broken, some would be fixable with glue and others would not. Nothing treasured was destroyed, and most importantly, no lives were lost.

  "We were very lucky," Marge informed all that sat to supper that night.

  "Yes, we were," Burt agreed.

  The house had taken most of the abuse, some of the barns needed minor repairs and one of the stables completely lost its roof. Some of the crops were damaged, but the Turner farm had been hit the worst, their main barn had been floored and valuable equipment ruined.

  Kate worried about her house and Mari, though Tray had run over to check on both after stopping at the stables. He relayed to Kate that her precious home and dog had been missed by the tornado.

  Tray drove her home late that night.

  "Please don't go," Kate told him as he stood in the kitchen after dropping her off, the dog leaping about their legs.

  She hadn't shed a tear all day, not through the terror of it all, until he took her in his arms and then she trembled. They stood in the kitchen for a long time, him holding her until she felt secure.

  "Why don't you go up to bed, I'll bring you some tea, I'll be right there," he reassured her.

  He watched her as she left the room and climbed the stairway, the dog at her heels. He thought about how he loved her, everything they'd been through this past year, that he could have lost her today, lost everything in a minute. He turned off the lights and went upstairs.

  She was lying in bed clad in one of his old shirts, the dog lying quietly beside the bed on her rug. Kate sat up as he came in with the two cups of tea. He set them on the bedside table as he pulled off his clothing and sat on the bed across from her in his boxers. They quietly sipped at the decaffeinated brew, hoping it would help them sleep.

  "Kate, I know I'd said I wanted to do something special for you, but after today, things are clearly in perspective. Bells and whistles don't matter that much. I could have lost you today, it all happened so fast and without any warning. When we were down in the cellar with the winds swirling over our heads, I thought that if I had to die, I was glad it would be while I was by your side, that your face would be the last picture in my mind."

  Kate wiped away the tears that slid down her face.

  "So, will you marry me, I don't want to go through my life without you," he asked, taking her hands in his and placing a soft velvet box in one. She gasped in delight as she opened it.

  "Yes, I would be honored to marry you," she replied, leaning over to kiss him, the moonlight through the window lighting their faces.

  They began to laugh, "I never thought this day would end up being the best day of my life," Kate exclaimed.

  "And it ain't over yet," he smiled as he kissed her again, sliding the ring onto her finger.

  She certainly wouldn't get enough sleep that night, but it didn't matter.

  Many of the farmers were set back in their harvesting by the tornado's affliction. Even those not touched directly by the tornado were affected as they helped their neighbors repair their damages. Burt and the men had to take time out from their day to fix the roof and other problems. They worked late into the night, sometimes past eleven to stay on schedule. Tempers were
running short, everyone was feeling the pressure. All the year's work was coming down to this one time. They would soon reap the success or face the failure of the year.

  Word had swiftly traveled of Tray's proposal, especially when Kate showed up to breakfast with a stunning but tasteful diamond ring upon her finger. Kate blushed as all the hands, Marge, Burt and Eddie congratulated her heartily. While the men resumed conversation, Marge hinted around as to if any date had been set. Kate informed her they hadn't gotten that far, but that she'd considered sometime around Christmas. Marge expressed her enthusiasm, thinking that would be a wonderfully romantic time of year.

  "Wouldn't even matter if it'd snow 'cause everybody around here has their own plow hook-up," Marge told Kate. "We'd all be there."

  Kate added, "it wouldn't be the same if you weren't."

  "Course not," Burt broke into the conversation, "we're family."

  After twenty-five years, Kate finally had a family. She swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled warmly at Burt.

  "Tray, I need to talk to you about something," Kate forced herself to speak, sounding grave that Friday evening.

  "What is it?" he asked, opening a bottle of wine in his kitchen and pouring two glasses.

  "If we're to be married, I need to be totally honest with you," she continued, following him into the great room.

  "I thought there was something bothering you," he admitted. "I need to be honest with you too. I wasn't sure if this mattered, but that woman I was involved with was Marge's niece. They don't talk about her anymore because they haven't heard from her in years, they basically gave up on her and wrote her out of their lives."

  Oh."

  "Does that bother you?"

  "Kind of, it's a little strange that you were involved with a member of their family."

  "I know, but I wanted to tell you anyway. That was the last thing I needed to release to you," he took a deep breath, "and it feels good. What were you going to tell me?"

  She faced him as they sat on the couch, her heart beating uncomfortably fast, "Um, it involves my past also. I don't really know how to say this, but I'm not the person I used to be," she hesitated, attempting bravery.

  "I know you've changed, you've made a whole new life for yourself," he interjected with a smile, trying to be encouraging.