Mallory pursed her lips. “Hang on though. Wouldn’t you prefer to have your friends at your birthday? Maybe the memorial should wait until after you’ve celebrated?”
He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Mallory, you are my friends. The only friend who understands and the only friend I’m that bothered about spending my birthday with anyway. It’s fine.”
That settled things. Mallory finished her coffee and took Ruby home. She started planning what they could do for the memorial/birthday. It felt so good to be helping Greg. It was what she had hoped for all along, since she realised they had this terrible grief in common.
Chapter Eight
Monday night Mallory’s shifts in the pub started again. It was good to see Ron. He said he had missed her smiling face behind the bar and his beer hadn’t tasted quite as good with her not pouring it for him. Colin and Christine called in for dinner and she sat chatting with them for a while. Mallory learned that Christine made the most beautiful jewelry. She was wearing a gorgeous amethyst necklace and earrings that she had crafted using real gem stones. It was stunning. They were such a lovely couple.
Tuesday meant Greg would perform at the pub again. As usual he was in top form. He wore a new shirt. This one was white with folded back sleeves and a tiny pale blue paisley pattern on. It made him look tanned. He was so happy when he was performing. Mallory was bobbing up and down and singing along when she knew the words, but she did so quietly so as not to get in trouble with the artiste.
By the time Saturday had come around she was all ready for the beach barbie with Greg. She had made him a gift and wrapped it in home-made wrapping paper—which was actually brown paper with a sun, moon and stars pattern she had drawn in gold pen. It looked quite effective and she gave herself a little pat on the back, proud of her achievement.
She dressed in black linen trousers and a teal long sleeved T-shirt that she had bought in Canada. She slipped on a black denim jacket, another treat from her travels. Her black sparkly flip flops finished the look nicely. She went for contacts and left her glasses on the mantle next to the urn.
As promised Greg arrived at seven. He wore khaki cropped combats, flip flops and a cream granddad collar linen shirt. He had sunglasses on the top of his head pushing his hair straight back. He looked nice, Mallory thought. Handsome even.
The weather was warm and dry and the sun was on the verge of beginning its descent. Greg had brought a kettle barbeque, coals, burgers, steaks and sausages. Mallory provided bread, salad and a picnic set. Greg had found some candle lanterns on stalks that stuck into the sand. Mallory had brought the paper lanterns and they had both written and kept their own tags.
They loaded up the Landy and drove a little way along the road to the small beach. There was no one else around. Mallory set out their blanket and stuck the candles in the ground while Greg lit the barbeque straight away. Whilst the coals were heating to the right temperature for cooking, Mallory pulled out the package and handed it to him.
“Oh Mallory, what’s this? You didn’t have to get me a gift.” He protested, but from his smile she knew that secretly he was glad she did.
Greg opened it eagerly and took out the hand-made plaque, reading aloud. “True friends are hard to find, thank goodness I found you.” He smiled and she saw water well in his eyes.
He didn’t speak but clambered over to her and hugged her tightly. He looked down at her and it looked as though ten different emotions fought for the surface all at once.
“I couldn’t have dreamt of anything better, Mallory, it’s beautiful…thank you.” He paused looking into her eyes. A strange feeling washed over her.
Her stomach lurched and her heart began to pound. She knew that he felt it too. She was terrified that he was about to kiss her and had no clue what she would do if he did.
He didn’t do it.
“I…think the temperature should be about right now. Better get the food on, eh?” He pulled away from her and stood to attend to the coals. She felt a mixture of relief, sadness and other things that she chose to ignore. They went back to chatting normally.
“Something has been bugging me, Greg.” Mallory’s curiosity had been lying in wait for the right opportunity. “How come you didn’t want to invite anyone else here today?”
“Mallory, all I can say is that the friends I’ve had in the past have had a habit of letting me down in big ways. I just feel it’s better to keep myself to myself.”
“But what about me?” Mallory wondered aloud, immediately regretting that the words had fallen out of her mouth.
He pulled his lips in and then huffing out said, “You’re different. Don’t ask me why, but I trust you. I don’t think you’d ever betray me. I get the feeling I would only ever lose you if I was the one who did the wrong thing.” He looked directly into her eyes.
“Hmm, better be on your best behaviour then.” She laughed trying to lighten the suddenly sombre mood.
Their meal was delicious and they drank a little wine but Greg switched to soda after one glass. Once they were stuffed and had eaten their fill of steak and hotdogs, they carried the lanterns and tags to the water’s edge. The temperature had dropped and Mallory was now chilly. Greg had said that she could speak first and so she began.
“Mairi, you were a bright light in Greg’s life. You were a brave and adventurous woman, you made my friend very happy and I’m sure, had I met you, we would have been the best of friends too. Now you’ve left this world you’re a bright star in the night sky, you are missed and will always be loved.” She let her lantern go and they watched it float away.
Greg turned to her, squeezed her hand and spoke, almost in a whisper, “That was beautiful. Thank you.” He turned to face out to sea; tears welling in his eyes. He looked to Mallory again, she nodded in encouragement.
He took a deep breath and let the words go. “Mairi, my heart and my love, you were a vivacious, stunningly beautiful woman, both inside and out, I was so proud of you for all you achieved at such a young age. Your courage knew no bounds. When you walked into a room, all heads turned and you made everyone smile; especially me. Since you left, my world has got a little darker. I’ve spent the last year feeling a type of pain that no one else could understand. Mallory came along and changed that. She helped me to come to terms with losing you. She helped me to come here today to say goodbye in a way I wasn’t able to do before. I miss you so much that sometimes I still feel physical pain, but I know that you can’t return and I have to try and let you go.” A sob escaped his trembling lips and Mallory put a hand on his shoulder. “Please know that wherever you are I will always, always love you.”
He let his lantern go. The two friends stood side by side and watched as their lanterns disappeared into the distance. Greg let out a huge puff of air. He rubbed his face and turned to Mallory.
“Thank you for suggesting this. It’s been really cathartic.” He smiled and touched her cheek. “You need to know that I would never have let go of all this if it wasn’t for…your help.” His hand dropped to his side.
Mallory was shivering now and Greg put his arm around her, making her feel a little warmer. They wandered back up the beach to where their blanket and candles still remained. Greg grabbed a fleece from the Landy and threw a blanket to Mallory.
After sitting, looking at the stars for a while, and drinking hot chocolate from a flask that Greg had produced from the car, they decided it was too cold to stay longer so they packed their things away in silence.
Greg drove them back to Mallory’s house. He put on the handbrake and they sat for a few moments. There was a palpable tension in the air between them. They had been through a lot this evening and Mallory suspected it was the weight of all the emotions they had shared and experienced.
“Do you want to come in for a coffee?” she asked eventually, immediately wondering if the suggestion was a bad idea.
Evidently Greg felt the same as he shook his head. “Ah, thanks, but I should get back to Angus reall
y. I’ve had a great birthday. Thanks for making it so special.” His eyes sparkled in the moonlight.
“You’re more than welcome. I had fun too. And you were right, you cook a mean steak.” She punched his arm playfully.
“Why thank you Miss Westerman, how kind you are.”
“I speak only that which is true Mr. McBradden.” She giggled in a posh voice.
“Enough of this nonsense, now bugger off so I can get home to my dog and my bed.” He waved his hands toward the house.
She obeyed and climbed out of the car giggling. She waved from the door as he drove away.
~~~~~
Monday morning was rainy and cold for July. Mallory decided to get her laptop out and have a look at Facebook. She was relieved to have finally had the internet installed prior to her trip to Canada. She was an eBay addict and had had to go cold turkey for months. She fired up the computer and typed in the address for the infamous social networking site.
After completing her details she started the laborious hunt for ‘friends’ going through the list of people she had met on her holiday in Canada. She immediately found Reece, then Carl. Josie and Brad were on there and had been badgering her for over a year to sign up so they would be happy to find that she had added them too.
She spent a good few hours sorting things out, uploading photos and accepting friend requests from people who had beaten her to it. It was good fun, and she could see that it could become addictive. She had several conversations back and forth with Josie, Reece, Carl and various other new friends she had made.
Since returning from Canada she had thought long and hard about Sam’s ashes. She was beginning to feel that it was time to set them free. She rang Josie to see if she agreed.
“Mallory, it has to be done when you’re ready. But I think maybe you are. The service in Canada was a big step for you and it sounds like it really helped. Maybe it’s time.”
Mallory sighed, “Maybe. I have thought about driving around the places we went in Scotland and releasing them bit by bit. Is that weird?”
“Not at all. People do that kind of thing all the time. Remember that scene in the film ‘Elizabeth Town’ where Orlando Bloom’s character takes his father’s ashes on a road trip? I thought that was really sweet. You could do the same kind of thing.”
Mallory smiled. “Oh, I love that film. Never fails to make me cry.”
Josie chuckled down the line. “That’s ‘cause you’re a sap. Hey, do you want me to come up to go with you?”
“No, don’t worry. I know you’re busy in the shop right now and you’ve been up and down a lot. I think maybe Greg will go if I ask him. He knows his way around better than I do and I think he would drive me.”
“Good idea. You guys seem to be getting on really well since you came home.”
“Yes, he’s great. He’s fun to be around.”
Josie laughed. “I don’t believe a word of that,” she teased.
“He is! We laugh a lot.”
“Well they say laughter is the best medicine. Let me know how you get on.”
“I will. And Josie?”
“Yes hun?”
“Thanks ever so much for all the hard work you’re doing in the shop.”
“Ahem, you don’t have to thank me for doing something I love.”
Mallory was relieved to hear that Josie was still enjoying running the place. “Well, I appreciate it. Right I’m off. Speak soon. Love you.”
“Love you too chick.”
The next day Mallory had a busy time in her workshop painting signs and packaging them up to post to Josie for the shop. She loved being covered in paint again and came up with some funky new designs. She had chatted briefly to Colin and Christine about her work and they had asked if she would like to sell some in their shop. She jumped at the chance and had produced some signs ready for display. She had chosen to hang them from a beautiful piece of gnarled and twisted, almost sculptural, driftwood she had found when she and Greg had been to the beach.
Later when she was working her evening shift with Greg at the pub she decided to ask him about her idea for Sam’s ashes. She told him what she was hoping to do and then took a deep breath, hoping she didn’t sound cheeky.
“I wondered if you would mind driving me?” She cringed and awaited his answer.
He smiled, “Mallory, I would be honoured to go with you. Thank you for asking me to be a part of it.” He seemed genuinely touched.
They agreed that they would go on a mini trek the next weekend. Mallory had chosen several places that she felt were appropriate. She hoped she was strong enough to go through with the difficult task.
At home late that night and for the next few days Mallory looked through old photos of her adventures with Sam and planned the places she would love to go. It was a difficult plan to make. The photos made her cry. The two of them smiling, kissing and laughing from the glossy pages as if all was perfect. It had been.
~~~~~
Saturday was bright and fresh. Greg picked her up at seven for their early start. They had a lot of distance to cover. Mallory had her map with little red stickers on the main places. Greg had brought a flask of coffee. He had also done a CD of music for the car with songs that were special to Mallory and Sam. When he told her of this she burst into tears at the thoughtful gesture. He had held her whilst she cried. Today was going to be emotionally fraught. There was no doubt about that.
After an hour and a half of chatting, listening to music and the odd lengthy pensive silence, they arrived at Kentallen, the first destination on the list. Mallory and Sam had spent a week in a log cabin here on the shores of Loch Linnhe. They had eaten at the beautiful Art Deco hotel on the shore. Then they had gone walking and been bitten by midges. They spent the next day lathering each other in lotions and potions to ease the itching.
Mallory opened the urn, grabbed a handful of the dust in the bottom and let it fly in the breeze. Greg stayed by the car and gave her some space to deal with the raw emotions that bubbled to the surface.
When she was ready to leave they got back in the car to head for the second stop, Glencoe. The journey was a shorter one and took them through the most stunning mountain scenery. The Peak of the Buckle, the base of which was where Greg met Mairi, was visible in the distance. Greg stayed silent as if he was making sure that this was about Mallory, not himself. She appreciated the unspoken act of kindness. The colours were so vivid. Hues of brown covered the rocky ground like a lumpy carpet. The azure blue sky stretched like a blanket overhead.
They eventually arrived at Glencoe and Greg stayed in the car again as Mallory wandered off for a while in solitude to scatter the next handful of dust. It almost sparkled as it dissipated in the warming air. It was at the gift shop here at Glencoe Visitors Centre where they had bought a tree for the garden at Railway cottage and a CD of music by the Peatbog Faeries which became the soundtrack of their holiday. She remembered the way that the Highland cows had all wandered toward them as they had stood looking up at the view. One of the cows had sounded asthmatic and it had made Sam laugh hysterically whilst Mallory had talked to the cow trying to reassure it. Thinking back to that time made her smile.
She returned to find Greg leaning, arms folded, eyes closed and head back, against the Landy.
She suddenly felt ravenous.
“C’mon, breakfast is on me. The café should be open by now,” she called to Greg.
He jogged over to where she stood and they tramped up the wooden walkway side by side.
Once their order of coffee and bacon sandwiches was placed they sat at a table which gave them a wonderful view outside.
Greg had been quiet for a few moments. With a frown on his face he announced, “You know, I’m kind of jealous of the relationship you had with Sam. And I don’t mean because I have feelings for you or anything. I mean because of how intensely you loved each other.”
She bit her lip before answering, “Your love for Mairi was intense.”
H
e exhaled loudly. “The thing with Mairi was…she was adventurous. She was always looking for that next natural high. I supported her, of course I did, but since I lost her I’ve often wondered how long it would have taken for her to move on anyway.”
Mallory felt concern for her friend’s unhelpful train of thought. She shook her head. “Greg, you can’t think that way. I’m sure she loved you just the same.”
“Na. The more I’ve looked back, since meeting you and witnessing how strong things were for you guys, I got to analysing my relationship. You see, Mairi was a good deal younger than me. If I’m honest I think maybe things were one sided.” Greg paused as their food arrived.
He thanked the waitress and looked back to Mallory. “I think that all along I feared that she’d leave. Her being killed like that almost suspends her in time. It makes me look at how wonderful things were. I was always happy in the Highlands. It’s where I belong; where I feel safe and at home. Mairi was always looking to the horizon. I reckon it wouldn’t have been too long before she found someone else on one of her trips. You know…someone who was a bit more adventurous, like her.” A sad expression came over his face and his soliloquy had shocked Mallory into a bewildered silence. “Sorry. This day isn’t about me. I’m waffling on.”
Mallory looked down feeling sorry for him, but sure that he didn’t want her sympathy. “No…no it’s fine. I-I’m just shocked at your disclosure. I’m surprised to find that you feel that way.” She wasn’t really sure what to say.
“I’m just being realistic. What you and Sam had…I want that. It was real and genuine…It was true love.” He looked at his food but didn’t eat. “All that said, I still loved Mairi with all my heart. Don’t get me wrong, I would have married her after the first date. And all the emotions I felt…feel…are still real. Nothing can change that.” He smiled.
They finished their breakfast and headed back for the car. They set off on the next leg of their journey and a little while later they arrived at the Corran Ferry Terminal and boarded the ferry once it arrived. Their journey across the water on the two car vessel was a smooth one and they were quickly delivered to the other side of the water.
Bridge Over the Atlantic Page 18
