Bridge Over the Atlantic

by Lisa J. Hobman

  “Anyway, it turns out she’d lied to me. There was never a pregnancy. She made the whole thing up. I think they call it trapping? She well and truly trapped my arse. I was hurt and angry but she said she only did it because she loved me and wanted to be with me. After about six months of arguments and tears we decided to give things a proper go. No more lies.

  “By this point I actually did love her. I have no clue why but…I just did. I was so desperate to make it work and so maybe I forced myself to love her, but even so the feelings turned out to be real. We rented a house over by Oban. We stayed there for two years and everything felt great. Then one day I came home from work and found her in bed with my best mate. I beat him up. And I told her I would never forgive her. I walked out and never looked back.”

  Mallory threw her hands up. “So what’s the problem? You got divorced and met Mairi and the rest is history right?” Mallory desperately wanted to be right.

  “Mallory…I never got divorced.”

  “What?” Mallory rose to her feet.

  “We just never got divorced. I didn’t want to speak to her let alone spend time discussing the finer points of our relationship in front of lawyers. I left her with the house and all our belongings. I thought that would be the last I would ever see of her. Until…”

  “Until she called you this morning asking to see you?” Mallory’s voice was shaky as she pieced the jigsaw together.

  “Yes.” He looked up at her. His eyes filled with sorrow and regret. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I think you had better go now, Greg.” Mallory’s fists clenched as she spoke.

  Greg slipped his boots on. He didn’t fight. He didn’t protest. He looked at her longingly. “See, I told you I wasn’t good enough for you.” His eyes glazed over. “I never told you because I don’t think of her as my wife.”

  “No, but she is your wife, regardless. It’s a pretty huge thing to keep from someone you are supposedly in love with don’t you think? What else haven’t you told me? How many more lies will I uncover? I nearly slept with you! How can I trust you now?”

  His lip trembled. “I don’t love her, Mallory, I love you. I don’t feel anything for her. Not even hate anymore. I’m apathetic when it comes to Alice. If I could go back in time and tell you everything I would.” A sob broke free from his throat, obviously his heart was breaking too. “The sad thing is that yesterday I had a glimpse of you and me together; the whole nine yards; a proper future. And I loved it.” His expression was pained as he sighed. “I hope that maybe someday you will forgive me for keeping the truth from you. Please don’t move away. Not because of me.” And with that, he left.

  Chapter Ten

  Mallory spent the few days after Greg’s revelations decorating the house. The thoughts whizzing around her mind were so mixed up she found it hard to focus. She began to wonder why she had stayed in the first place. With Sam gone, and the mixed feelings around her relationship with Greg, it felt like she had outstayed her welcome. The house was thoroughly beautiful and it should have been a happy place.

  She freshened up the paint work. She put a splash of colour in some rooms. It looked nice, homey and a lot different than when she and Sam had fallen in love with it.

  This will make someone a wonderful home, her subconscious taunted her. A sadness washed over her that there was a possibility it wouldn’t be hers for much longer. After everything that had happened, she had instructed an estate agent to come and give her a valuation and discuss house selling packages. After briefly explaining her situation to the estate agent he had left her with a pile of documents to peruse. He said he understood and that the decision she made would be the right one.

  Mallory had called Josie to fill her in with what had happened with Greg. The audible gasp from down the line told Mallory that Josie was shocked. “Oh, Mally, babe. Are you sure coming back here is what you want though? Does it really matter that he has a piece of paper that connects him to another woman? If you think there’s a future with him you shouldn’t give up. What if you regret it?”

  “Josie, whose side are you bloody on?” Mallory snapped

  “Yours obviously, that’s why I don’t want you to make any rash decisions. He clearly adores you not her.”

  Josie just didn’t get it. He had kept something huge from her. It should have been the first thing he told her. He had opportunities before they were even drawn together. He didn’t take them. It was over.

  She hadn’t seen much of Greg; only at shift changeover at the pub. She had swapped shifts in order to avoid awkward meetings with him. She couldn’t bare the hassle of seeing him. Their relationship had been tumultuous to say the least. But she had enough of pain and anguish to last her a lifetime.

  Greg had been taking Angus into the pub on his shifts. He always came over to say hello and she always greeted him with a big cuddle—funny how dogs didn’t show any loyalties when it came to break ups.

  After a great deal of soul searching Mallory had taken the decision to instruct the estate agent to try marketing the house for a while. She had been informed that the market was slow and there were more houses available for sale than there were interested buyers.

  Secretly she hoped that it would be on the market a long time. She was not quite ready to let go, but felt like she had to take some form of action in a positive direction.

  September 2011

  August turned into September. The temperature had become noticeably cooler. Her relationship with Greg had become a series of ‘hello’s’ or nods out in the village. He had kept his distance and she had been glad of the fact.

  She had awoken early one Saturday. She had no plans for the day apart from a couple who were coming to view the cottage. Everything was presented superbly. She had even followed the advice of the clichéd TV shows and made fresh coffee so that the tantalising aroma would permeate every room. Fresh seasonal flowers filled every available vase.

  When she realised she had no milk left she decided to wander over to see Colin and Christine. They had been heartbroken when the For Sale board had been knocked into the ground outside her house. She had promised she would keep in touch.

  She grabbed her fleece and walked up her lane. As she got to the main road she took a slight detour and ended up at the midpoint of the bridge.

  “Oh, Sam, how wrong it all went.” She sighed. “If you had been here things would have been so different.” She stood for a few minutes looking at the view they had both loved.

  She heard voices coming from behind her and turned out of sheer curiosity. Her heart skipped a beat. Walking toward her was Greg. He was with a stunning blonde woman. How fickle he must be, she thought. The couple was chatting. The woman kept touching his arm. When he saw her he stopped in his tracks. The woman looked over in the direction of his gaze and her face dropped. He approached Mallory.

  “Hi, Mallory.” He smiled. His voice was just above a whisper.

  “Greg.” She forced a smile in response.

  “Mallory…erm…this is Alice, Alice this is Mallory.”

  Oh good grief it’s her! He’s introducing me to HER! Her subconscious screamed.

  “Hi Mallory, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Alice held out her hand, but didn’t crack a smile.

  “I’m sure you have,” Mallory replied sardonically and shook her hand.

  “We were just taking a walk, you know clearing the cobwebs.” Greg was still terrible at small talk. At least some things never changed. His gaze shifted between the two women.

  Mallory began to step away. “Lovely. Well, enjoy yourselves. I need to get going,” she said tersely and walked past them in the direction of the shop.

  Unwelcomed tears welled in her eyes. She bit the inside of her lip to fend them off. She didn’t look back.

  Once she had picked up some milk from the shop she wandered back along the road toward her house. Much to her chagrin, Greg was sitting at one of the tables outside the pub. Come on Mallory, you can do this, just smile and wal
k by, don’t let him upset you, not again.

  She couldn’t avoid passing him. She wanted to run but her legs chose that moment to forget how to work.

  “Mallory!” Greg called to her. She looked over to where he sat. “Can you talk?”

  Now her subconscious screamed a hundred sarcastic retorts, but she couldn’t bring herself to say any of them out loud.

  “What are you doing here? I thought you were out walking” she said dryly.

  “Aye, I was but I wanted to talk to you…alone…so I asked Alice to head on without me. I’ll meet her back at the house.” He looked at his shoes.

  So she’s staying with him too. How cosy.

  She sighed. “What did you want to talk about?” she asked coldly.

  “Will you sit for a while?” He gestured to the other side of the table.

  Reluctantly, she sat down, placing the milk and her purse side by side.

  “I haven’t seen you for a while, how are you?”

  “I’m fine thanks. Is that it because I have people coming.”

  “To view the house?” He picked at a splinter of wood protruding from the table.

  “Yes. Not that it’s anything to do with you.”

  “Why do you have to be so hostile, Mallory? Nothing has changed for me. I wish you would realise that.”

  “It’s of no consequence to me how you feel. How is your wife liking it here?” The acerbity of her tone did not taste good.

  Greg bit his top lip and shook his head. He was angry and she didn’t blame him really. “Okay, we’re being like that are we? I really thought we had something a little more mature, Mallory. I thought there were feelings on both sides of this. Clearly I was wrong.” He looked directly at her, making her fidget uncomfortably.

  She felt the sting of his words.

  “Greg, you’re married. You kept that fact from me just as I was about to give myself to you. Whilst I was still grieving for the real love of my life. Excuse me if I’m little indignant.”

  “Can we at least be civil? Or maybe even friends? We got along so well, Mallory. Don’t you miss that? I know I do.”

  “It’s irrelevant. I can’t trust you. How can we possibly be friends?” She pushed her glasses up her nose.

  “Okay, well, it was worth a try.” He sniffed and looked down at the table. “Will you do me one thing? Will you tell me if you do sell the house? I would at least like a chance to say goodbye.”

  “Greg, we said goodbye that day in August,” she said regretfully and left him sitting there.

  She walked away from him for the second time that day and again a little piece of her heart broke. She walked fast in case he had decided to follow. He hadn’t. When she got inside, she closed her front door behind her and burst into tears. This was becoming a habit now. Her subconscious was quite right.

  Her shift started at seven that night. When she arrived outside she was greeted with a sight she would rather not have encountered. The chalk board she had made for Greg was propped up outside the door and it was evident that her former friend was playing. Great. She was tempted to turn and retreat back to the cosy womb of her newly decorated house. But instead, she walked through the door putting a fraudulent smile on her face. She would be busy so it would all be fine. Wouldn’t it?

  She got herself set behind the bar and noticed Greg was sitting in his usual pre-gig spot with her. They were chatting and laughing together. Every so often she would touch his arm or toss her hair. From what Greg had told her of Alice it seemed that old habits, did indeed, die hard.

  Dammit! Alice looked over and realised that Mallory was glaring in their direction. She muttered something to Greg who turned toward the bar. Mallory quickly dropped her gaze and wiped the glass she was holding so hard that it slipped from her grasp and shards of glass flew everywhere as the vessel shattered. Greg rushed over.

  “Hey are you okay?” he enquired, concerned.

  “Greg, it’s just broken glass. I’m fine.”

  “Let me help you.” He grabbed the dustpan and brush from its place on top of the dish washer, but she snatched it from his hands.

  “Greg, just go. You’re supposed to be singing aren’t you? So go do it,” she snapped viciously.

  “Look I’ve said sorry about everything. What else am I meant to do?” he pleaded.

  “Nothing. There is nothing you can do. Just go!”

  Ten minutes later Greg sat in his usual place ready to perform. The bar had filled up and there was a hum of chatter and anticipation. Greg had become somewhat of a local star and his gigs were very well attended. Mallory did her best to stay focused and busy, serving the many thirsty customers.

  “Evening all.” Greg’s voice boomed out of the PA system. “I’m not going to talk much tonight. I’m sure you’s don’t want to hear me rambling on about stuff all night, eh?” He cleared his throat. “I know you all are gradually discovering how eclectic ma taste in music is. Well just to prove the point even further I’m going to kick off with a little bit of Chicago. The band not the musical.” He chuckled and the audience chuckled with him. “This is a beautiful song called Hard to Say I’m Sorry.” The audience clapped and cheered before falling silent and listening intently as raw emotion poured from Greg’s lips.

  Mallory tried her damnedest to swallow the lump that had become lodged in her throat as she listened to the words she knew were indubitably for her benefit. She avoided making eye contact with him at all costs and she had to remind herself why this chasm had opened up between them lest she run over and fling her arms around him.

  She stuck it as long as she could but when her emotions got the better of her Mallory had to leave the room. She went to the ladies restroom and splashed water on her face. When she stood up and looked in the mirror at her red, puffy eyes, a presence startled her.

  “Hello Mallory.” The beautiful blonde woman said to her reflection.

  “Alice.” She dabbed her face with some paper towels and threw them in the waste bin.

  “You’ve broken his heart you know.” Alice folded her arms across her chest and leaned on the sink, addressing Mallory directly.

  “I think you got there before me, don’t you?”

  “What you’re doing is much worse.” Alice snorted.

  “How the hell do you figure that one out?” Mallory couldn’t quite believe her ears.

  “You could just walk away. You could crawl back to your little hole in Yorkshire and let him move on. But instead you’re here taunting him with the presence of what he thinks he wants but can’t have. It’s cruel.” Her eyes flashed angrily.

  Bile rose in Mallory’s throat.

  “How dare you? You told him you were pregnant! There was no baby! That is the epitome of cruelty. Then you slept with his best friend! You bitch. And my ‘hole’, as you referred to it, is more desirable than spending another second in your presence now get out of my fucking way.” Mallory was shaking with anger. She didn’t swear lightly and the words falling from her mouth sounded like someone else, not her.

  “You should know, before you walk away, that he and I are going to give things another go. He still loves me. It won’t take him long to get over you.” And with that she walked out. Mallory leaned against the sink feeling as if she had been winded.

  She gathered herself and went back out to the bar. Greg was just having a drink before his next song. Mallory looked over to him. Was her presence hurting him more? She didn’t intend to make things worse. She resolved to take a few days away in Yorkshire. Maybe the distance would help both of them.

  Greg looked directly at her with sad eyes as Alice arrived at his side briefly drawing his attention away. She kissed the top of his head.

  Stella, who had appeared from the back, saw the display of affection and looked over at Mallory with a sad smile.

  “Anyway, onto my next number…ahem…Now unrequited love is a bitch eh? I know I’ve been there; anyone else?” The audience murmured in agreement. “Aye well, some of you shou
ld relate well to this next one. It’s by one of my favourite bands, Fleetwood Mac and it’s called ‘You Can Go Your Own Way’. Oh and don’t sing along, eh?” He forced a laugh and winked at the audience who laughed along with him.

  He began to sing yet another song aimed at Mallory. She felt her cheeks burn and saw Alice glaring at her as if to say I told you so.

  Greg’s eye burned into Mallory whilst he sang. She wanted to leave but for some reason she was equally as compelled to stay. She didn’t want to run and give Alice the satisfaction of knowing she had burrowed under her skin.

  Greg was doing his usual thing of communicating with other people’s words and tonight he was on a mission.

  “Sorry folks, it’s all a bit melancholy tonight. I’m feeling that way out. Must be my hormones.” He laughed. “Anyway, this next one is a sad, sad song by a wonderful song writer called John Waite. It’s about a guy who’s in love with a girl. She left him and moved away. He really doesn’t know why she’s gone and he misses her desperately but he’s trying to convince himself that he isn’t…he’s failing miserably. She’s all he can think about. She’s all he sees. He wants her to realise and come back to him…it’s called ‘Missing You’.”

  He began to play and Mallory stopped what she was doing this time. If he has something to say then you should damn well listen!

  She listened for a few moments, knowing the song of old. The lump in her throat returned and she was finding it difficult to see through the glassy film over her eyes. She feigned a headache and Stella told her to go on home. She was certain that Stella knew exactly what the real reason for her swift departure was. Mallory slipped out of the back door and made her way home.

  “Hi, babe! How you doing?” Josie answered Mallory’s call within two rings.

  “I need to come and stay. Please, can me and Rubes come tomorrow?” Mallory sobbed down the line at her best friend.

  “Of course you can, hun. What on earth is wrong?” Josie sounded concerned at Mallory’s emotional, distressed call.