Renegade 33

by Lou Cameron

  Captain Gringo nodded politely and said, ‘We all know what you did under fire. It wasn’t much, but what the hell, let’s give the kid an A for effort.’

  He sniffed and added, ‘You’re right about something smelling funny around here. You really should have changed your pants before supper.’

  Someone in the crowd laughed. Robles scowled and asked Captain Gringo, ‘Hey, did anybody ever tell you you got a big mouth?’

  ‘I guess it takes one to know one. I’m ready to back anything I say, Robles. Can you say the same, or are you just baying at the moon to make us think you’re a big bad wolf?’

  ‘I am not afraid of you, Yanqui.’

  ‘Bueno. You’re wearing a gun and I’m wearing a gun. Your move.’

  ‘You challenge a superior officer to a duel? You dare?’

  ‘Let’s not argue about who’s superior. Do you want to fight or do you want to get off my back? I don’t give a shit either way.’

  Robles looked around, wild-eyed, spotted Verdugo approaching now, and called out, ‘Generale, these soldados de fortuna are trying for to pick a fight with me!’

  Gaston said, ‘I beg your pardon. I did not know the invitation included me. But if you really want me to join in—’

  Verdugo silenced him, turned to his adelita, and asked, ‘Helena?’

  The hard-boiled handsome woman shrugged and said, ‘Robles started it.’

  Verdugo leaned casually against a tree and said, ‘That is what I thought. Bueno, Robles. You wish for to fight Captain Gringo, you have my permission. I am getting tired of this bullshit.’

  Captain Gringo had, of course, opened his jacket to expose the grips of his .38 but made no other hostile move as he waited. The bully put his own gun hand near the grips of his hip-hung .45 but didn’t touch them as he said, ‘You heard El Generale, Yanqui. This is your last chance to back down gracefully.’

  Captain Gringo smiled thinly and said, ‘I don’t back down. Do you?’

  Robles didn’t answer. Helena made sure she was out of the line of fire and suggested, ‘Perhaps he needs a little encouragement, Captain Gringo. Why do you not mention his mother?’

  Verdugo growled, ‘Helena, stay out of it.’ And she shrugged and replied, ‘I was only trying to be helpful, querido.’

  Captain Gringo said, ‘I can’t mention the major’s mother, since we’ve never met. I seldom visit houses of ill repute and, in any case, I hear she’s very ugly.’

  That did it. There was an amused mutter from the crowd, and as one called out, ‘Hey, Major, are you going to let him talk to you that way?’ Another sneered and said, ‘Sure he is. Can’t you see he’s ready to piss his pants?’

  Robles went for his gun. Captain Gringo beat him to the draw and shot him just above the belt buckle. Robles jack-knifed, bounced off a fireside tree, and fell headfirst into the fire. He was still alive, though gutshot, so the results were sort of noisy. As he writhed in the embers with his hair and clothes on fire Verdugo suggested mildly, ‘I wish someone would finish him off and drag him out of there. He’s really starting to stink now!’

  Gaston rose, said, ‘Allow me,’ and put a merciful bullet in the screaming man’s head before dragging him off the coals by his boots. Tobasca poured a pan of soup over him and complained, ‘Would you please get him away from here, Gaston? Can’t you see I am trying to cook?’

  Verdugo ordered two nonentities to drag the body out in the jungle and bring back whatever he had in his pants as well as his gun rig, of course. So Captain Gringo asked the guerrilla leader if it was over. Verdugo nodded and said, ‘He was no use to me in any case. You saw how he behaved under fire this afternoon. You will take his place as my segundo. What should we call you? Major Gringo sounds dumb.’

  In the end it was decided it would cause less confusion if they went on calling him Captain Gringo. Verdugo had enough other things to worry about. They couldn’t move on until they knew what they might be moving into. So he sent out patrols and told everyone else to stay put and behave themselves for now.

  As the camp settled down for the night Captain Gringo went to see how Emesta was and how she felt like behaving. The mestiza had restrung all the machine gun belts and stored them away. He didn’t think that was why she looked so unhappy. It wasn’t. She said that while her bruised behind hadn’t destroyed her enthusiasm for sex, it had probably caused her to start cramping almost a week before her normal period was due and that she hoped he wouldn’t beat her up if she got him a little messy that night.

  He kissed her and said, ‘Some things are better early than never. You’ve had a hard enough day, querida. So let’s not worry about how hard I might be right now.’

  She sniffed and said, ‘You will spend the night with your other woman, eh?’ So he kissed her some more and replied, ‘Not all night. I’ll be back once I make sure she’s comfortable too.’

  ‘Bastard! I know how you intend to comfort her! But go ahead and screw her silly for the next few nights. I shall make up for it in my own way, once I am able!’

  He laughed, kissed her again, and sat up to leave. Emesta sighed and said, ‘Must you go to her so soon? It has only been dark a few minutes and, well, I am not bleeding badly yet.’

  He knew how uncomfortable it felt to be hard up. So he took her in his arms and lay her down again. He ran a hand up inside her skirts. She had the rag on. But he was able to get a finger on her moist clit, and as he began to rock the man in the boat for her, Emesta sighed and said, ‘Oh, how thoughtful you are! But are you sure you do not mind?’

  He said, ‘What’s the little stink-finger among friends? Relax and let me fix you up.’

  ‘Madre de Dios, you are fixing me indeed now! Are you sure you do not wish to satisfy yourself as well? We have plenty of water in my canteen, and I said I do not feel too messy, yet, inside.’

  He kissed her to shut her up as he got two fingers in position now to jerk her engorged clit off. She fumbled at his fly to return the favor. That could have led to messier results than going all the way with her nude. So he stopped her. She sighed and said, ‘Sí, you intend for to do it right, with Teresa. For why does the thought of your erection moving in and out of another woman’s pussy make my pussy so hot, Dick?’

  He told her to think about something closer to home plate, but as she spread her thighs and began to move her hips in time with his massage, she moaned. ‘Oh, I must be going mad! I can’t help wondering what it would be like to watch the two of you fuck as one of you played with me!’

  He said he’d ask Teresa how she felt about the notion. That got her so hot, she climaxed and subsided, sobbing and murmuring that she must be losing her mind but that she loved him so and all that bullshit. So he got out of there before she could get him to promise the impossible. He knew three in a boat would solve his current commuting problem in a most inspiring way. But he didn’t think Teresa would go for it, so what the hell.

  He was on his way to see what Teresa would go for when Helena waylaid him again in a clump of gumbo limbo. The queen of the adelitas said, ‘My hombre is drunk again, if that is what one calls a real hombre. I may have forgotten to tell you the last time, Dick. But I never chose El Generale. He chose me. I have been trying to figure out why ever since.’

  He gulped and murmured, ‘Well, you’re very attractive, and rank has its privileges. The head man always gets the adelita of his choice, Helena.’

  ‘I know, damn it. If you were El Generale, would you choose me, Dick?’

  ‘Sure, you’re a very beautiful woman, and, no offense, you look hot as hell.’

  ‘I am hotter than hell, thanks to being stuck with a man who prefers strong drink to a woman of strong passions! Nobody is watching this edge of the camp, Dick. Why do we not go into the jungle for to have a little fun, eh?’

  ‘We could run into a jaguar out there. We could run into something worse when we got back. Verdugo may enjoy a nightcap, but he doesn’t strike me as a hopeless drunk, and even if he was, you’re st
ill playing with matches in a powder magazine, Helena. You know what happens to cheating adelitas if they get caught!’

  She moved closer, put her arms around him to rub her voluptuous chest against his, and purred. ‘Let us make sure we don’t get caught, then. What are you afraid of? Surely you do not think I would tell on you?’

  He said, ‘It happens. You could get me killed if someone spots us simply standing here like this. So let’s not stand here like this. I’m too young and you’re too pretty to die.’

  She didn’t move away. But at least she stopped thrusting her pubic bone against him as she sighed and said, ‘You men are all alike. You might not fear El Generale so, if you saw him with his pants off. He is not such a big man where it matters.’

  ‘He’s still got a big gun, and other guns backing his play. Can I go now?’

  ‘Don’t you mean you wish for to come? I feel what you have bulging against my tummy now, and I admire the way it bulges. Let’s just do it once, against a tree, eh? You could be in and out of me in only a few moments. You know you want to fuck me.’

  He sighed and said, ‘I cannot tell a lie. But not tonight, Joséphine.’

  ‘Who is this Joséphine? Have you someone aside from Emesta and that hidalga?’

  ‘Never mind. I keep forgetting that dry Yanqui humor doesn’t play so well down here. No shit, Helena, we’ve got to stop this foolishness.’

  ‘You call my desire for you foolish? You dare? Do you take me for a toy you can trifle with? I warn you, I am a dangerous woman for to trifle with!’

  He’d never doubted that. He patted her back soothingly and said, ‘I meant I’d be a fool to get involved with you. You know I’d never be able to leave you alone once I’d buzzed in your rosebush. So it’s best not even to sniff your roses. Sooner or later we’d have to get caught. Whatever El Generale may be, he’s no dope, and sooner or later even a foolish man has to catch a cheating mujer, see?’

  ‘I agree our affair would not be without danger, as long as El Generale was alive for to do something about it. But what if something were to happen to him, Dick? You are now his segundo. If he were to die, say in battle, you would be the commander of this regiment, and, as you say, the head man gets first choice. Do you think you would choose another adelita prima over me?’

  Trying to keep it light, he laughed and said, ‘Not if I didn’t want to get other girls in a lot of trouble. But we’re talking what-ifs, not likelies. Verdugo ducked pretty good in that last firefight. So, well, I’ll see you around the campus, Doll.’

  He kissed her in a brotherly way, or started to, then he pried himself loose from her passionate embrace and got the hell out of there, his mouth still tingling and the tingle in his pants downright anxious by the time he made it to Teresa.

  She was still dressed. He wondered why. As he rolled her on her back to mount her, clothes and all, she insisted, ‘No! We can’t. I fear my curse of the moon is near, Dick. I began to cramp at suppertime and ... You brute, what is so funny about a poor girl’s period?’

  He tried not to laugh again as he kissed her and said, ‘I hear college roommates and nuns in convents get to menstruating in unison too. Don’t ask me why. Sometimes I think nature has a very nasty sense of humor. If it’s true, the whole point of harems could be shot to hell. Remind me to ask the next Turkish pasha I meet.’

  He tried to feel her up, like the good sport he was. Teresa told him to stop, adding, ‘If you get me hot, I will no doubt let you go all the way and we’ll make an awful mess for me to sleep in. Don’t you men ever think of anything else, damn it?’

  He let go of her and sat up to light a claro. The match smelled sort of fishy, as well it should by this time. He reached for a hanging canteen and wet his pocket kerchief. As he cleaned his hand he told Teresa, ‘Let’s think about how far we are from that rancho of yours right now. I figure we’re about forty kilometers north of the Limón to San José trail, a bit farther from the railroad, and almost to the top of the escarpment, give or take a few hours of uphill hiking. How are your feet making out?’

  She reached down to feel a bare heel absently, as she replied, ‘I am able to walk barefoot with less discomfort now. You are turning me into a damned peon. But over forty kilometers, while I am cramping?’

  ‘Yeah, that could be rough, and once we start, there can be no stopping. We’d better sleep on the idea a few more nights.’

  ‘You are going back now, for to sleep with Emesta, you brute?’

  ‘I’m not sleepy right now. I’ve got more important things to worry about, like staying alive.’

  He didn’t tell her about the problem with the hard-boiled Helena. He knew even a dirty look from one of his adelitas could get them all in trouble. But he knew Gaston had to know. So he kissed Teresa, told her not to wait up for him, and crawled back outside.

  Knowing Gaston’s current address, he circled the main fire and homed in on the smaller smudge fire in front of Gaston and Tobasca’s shelter. The fat old redhead was seated near it, tossing another green branch on the coals to discourage insects. She was still fully dressed, or as fully dressed as a lady with such heroic proportions could manage in a low-cut blouse. He asked her if Gaston was inside, and she nodded sullenly to reply, ‘Si, he is as far inside as he can get, the brute.’

  He frowned down at her thoughtfully, then ducked to crawl in and see what Gaston could be up to. He blinked and said, ‘Oops, excuse me!’ when he saw that Gaston was up a pretty little adelita, doggie-style.

  The wiry, naked Frenchman didn’t stop what he was doing as he cheerfully said, ‘Eh bien, I could use some help right now. This poor child lost her soldado in battle earlier today, and I have been attempting to console her.’

  ‘She seems to be taking it very well.’ Captain Gringo grinned. Then, switching to English, he added, ‘You think you've got troubles. I’ve got the boss man’s private pussy panting for my fair white body, and neither of my girls is in shape for a forced march. Any suggestions?’

  ‘Oui, fuck her. She is going to be très annoyed if you do not, and since she is in the position to spill beans no matter what you do now, you may as well enjoy yourself while you are risking your adorable ass, non?’

  ‘I was afraid you’d say that. Speaking of pissed-off women, how do you expect Tobasca to take this, and would you mind holding still while I’m talking to you, damn it?’

  ‘I can’t. I’m almost there. But as you know, I can talk at any time. What is your problem? You do not have to talk and move your hips at the same time right now.’

  Captain Gringo grinned sheepishly and admitted, ‘I find it a little distracting in my currently frustrated condition. Getting back to frustration, the redhead outside looks mad as hell, and we may need her help in the end. So are your current movements in this dame such a wise move, you horny little basser?’

  Gaston closed his eyes, got a firm grip on the younger girl’s slim hips, and moaned, ‘Perhaps not, but, sacre Bleu, it feels so fine! Do not worry about my old and rare redhead, Dick. I feel sure she would rather be my adelita segunda than not get any at all.’

  ‘Well, you’d better save some for her, then. Jesus, how many times do you have to come in that one, you old goat?’

  ‘As many times as I can, of course. We old goats do not get anything as good as this that often, hein?’

  That seemed for sure, although from the doorway Captain Gringo couldn’t see the younger girl’s face. She’d turned it away from him in embarrassment, judging from the way the rest of her was blushing, but her body was so great, she could no doubt win a beauty contest unless her face was missing a nose at least.

  He had nothing further to tell Gaston, and watching them wasn’t doing a thing for his own libido but increasing it. So he ducked back outside. He joined Tobasca by the fire, offered her a drag on his cigar, and soothed, ‘There, there, Gaston is still very fond of you. He just told me, see?’

  The fat redhead sobbed. ‘Then for why is he doing shameful things to t
hat snip, Rosita?’

  ‘Well, boys will be boys. I’m sure you’re still his favorite.’ The older, less attractive woman covered her face with her hands and blurted, ‘Do not lie to me for to be gallant, Captain Gringo. I used to be young and pretty. But I know what I look like now. I know I am lucky to have had any loving at all from that nasty little man in there. But I can’t help feeling jealous, and we both know he will not favor me again until he has a lot more of Rosita, eh?’

  That made sense. He still felt sorry for her and, come to think of it, himself. He smiled crookedly and said, ‘I know the feeling. It can hurt even waiting in line.’

  She looked up at him, surprised, and asked, ‘You feel hot and unsatisfied, too, Captain Gringo? How is this possible? I have seen what you have for to satisfy your desires with. Both are more beautiful than Rosita!’

  He knew better than to mention his third choice. He shrugged and said, ‘Anything is possible if you work at it, I guess.’

  The ugly old broad batted her lashes coyly at him as she asked, ‘Es verdad? What do you suggest we do about our mutual discomfort in that case, Captain Gringo?’

  For some reason she didn’t look quite as ugly right now. The firelight on her big brown boobs might have had something to do with it, and, of course, any man might be curious to know if she was a redhead all over. He tried to resist the idea, wondered why on earth he’d want to do that, and suggested, ‘Why don’t we go for a stroll and talk about it?’

  She hesitated, then murmured, ‘You would not tell Gaston?’ So he assured her that he didn’t kiss and tell, and she sprang up to almost drag him into the woods.

  He couldn’t tell if she was redheaded all over by the time they got down to business in a pool of blackness on a bed of ferns well away from camp. It was probably just as well. It felt as if he was mounting a lovesick whale in the dark, or it did until he was in her. As he’d hoped, it was true that all cats were gray in the dark where it mattered. Tobasca wedged her fat thighs up to hook a pudgy knee over each of his bare shoulders and bounce him in and out of her surprisingly tight slit with amazing grace.