by Hazel Parker
There was an innuendo there somewhere, and he knew enough to ignore it, too. Lily’s brow raised, though her eyes were still on her book.
“I love licking,” she whispered, sidling closer. “Ice cream.”
“Good to know,” he said innocently.
Sebastian forced himself to eat the rest, wanting to get out of here as fast as possible. Maybe if they continued touring the town and he distracted her with the great spots, she would forget all about trying to subtly seduce him and actually pay some interest in Sunnydale.
It was a solid plan.
It wasn’t a solid plan.
Penelope did her very best to impress him with her smarts while they were touring, barely paying attention to her surroundings whether they drove or walked. It was like a complete shift had happened, from the polite and interested woman in the park to the woman right now who simply wanted him. Sebastian was used to such kind of attention, but mostly from the town girls—those like Darla and Hanna, who flirted and worded things too boldly oftentimes, but mostly did it in public and never followed through. Penelope was different in the sense that she did follow through with actions, though she was obviously still testing the waters.
When dinner came, she requested to be taken back to the motel so she could change, and tried to invite him up. He declined politely, knowing her father had left that morning and the room was hers for the day. Patiently, Sebastian waited in his car, and minutes later, Penelope emerged wearing a black little number that was partly conservative—unless you looked at the back, which was totally bare.
He decided to take her to the town’s main Italian restaurant, which was another treasured spot in Sunnydale. To his surprise, Lily was also there, sitting with her uncle at a spot near the door. Sebastian went over to them and greeted Reverend John in general, who was pleased to see them. Penelope warmed up to him immediately, obviously not recognizing Lily from earlier. While they chatted for a bit, he let his gaze travel to Lily, and their eyes met.
The woman he had been thinking about for most of the day was wearing a black dress that was covered by a jacket, and all he could think about now was peeling it off and kissing every inch of her skin. As was with thoughts like this, his arousal made a reappearance, and it was just a thing that he was wearing black jeans and it wouldn’t be so obvious.
He couldn’t concentrate on dinner anymore after that. He tried his best, and Penelope didn’t seem to notice a thing, but the point was moot as he simply wanted to go home—or to her home. Her, as in Lily.
He missed her.
After dinner, he didn’t think it would be rude to return her home early—not that nine was that early. Penelope leaned forward to give him a kiss on the cheek, placing her hand on his thigh and lingering there. He let her be, then went on to open his door so he could get to hers, but mostly just to avoid any further contact. She looked disappointed, but didn’t pursue it further when he also declined her invitation for a nightcap.
He went home right away.
A quick shower and change of clothes quickly fixed the heat problem, and he settled on the couch and dialed a number. Lily’s voice on the other line sounded surprised at his call.
“You’re home early,” she commented.
“Been missing you.”
“Even with your…date?”
“Auction date,” he clarified. He leaned on the couch head, the sight of her firm ass in her jeans coming back to him. His cock stirred to life, and Sebastian’s hand moved down to settle on top of his boxers. The feathery touch made him groan, which he tried to stifle. But she heard it all the same and her silence filled the other line.
Then she whispered. “What are you doing?”
Sebastian slid his hand inside his boxers and wrapped it around his cock. This time, the groan that came from his mouth reverberated around the room. “Take a guess.”
Her breath hitched.
He tugged firmly and closed his eyes as the pleasure spiked. On the other line, he heard her move. Heard her moan.
Sebastian smiled into the phone. He had a very naughty idea.
It didn’t take long for him to climax, and her too—but they lasted on the phone for two more hours after that, just talking.
Lily fell asleep first, muttering something about cats before she snored inelegantly and had him smiling on his end. He wished her a good night, to which he heard her stir. But she was fast asleep.
Sebastian hung up the phone, still leaning on the couch.
When he finally fell asleep, blue eyes filled his dreams.
Lily stared at the strip in her hand, unable to move or do anything further. Too many thoughts filled her mind, followed by emotions that threatened to overwhelm her if she didn’t keep herself calm and collected.
Taking control was the key.
Her hand shook. A part of her thought that perhaps that might change the result, but nothing changed. She had been extra careful—had been extra vigilant about not letting this happen. She kept staring at the line, trying to figure out what to do. When nothing came to mind, Lily sat down on the edge of her bed and took a very deep breath. It must have happened when she had the flu.
Calm was the key.
Should she tell Sebastian?
On one hand, doing so was perhaps the best move because he was involved in this and needed to know the truth. On the other, not doing so was perhaps the smarter choice, because this would only complicate their lives—especially his.
God, especially his.
Suddenly dizzy, she lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. She weighed her options. Tried not to scream. Her hand touched her stomach and she trembled even when she felt nothing.
Joy leaped.
It wasn’t going to be nothing in a few months.
Lily opened her eyes and sat back up.
Then she stood up and made her decision.
She had been sick to her stomach for a couple of days and couldn’t keep her birth control pills down. That must be when it happened. As Lily drove towards the church, she tried to rationalize everything that had happened so far since she had last missed her period.
She had ignored it at first, since a late period happened to her every once in a while when she was stressed or lacking sleep.
And then the nausea came when she tasted pasta. Or smelled her jasmine-scented soap.
Then, there was the vomiting.
She should have predicted it already, should have gone to a doctor out of town to have herself checked, but she was stubborn and thought it still meant nothing. Three weeks after her period was supposed to be due, she finally took the pregnancy test.
Two lines came out instead of one.
The church was empty when she entered, save for William, whom she passed by on her way to Sebastian’s office. They greeted each other and he could see she was troubled, but she merely let him know she had some stuff to discuss with Sebastian before walking ahead. Lily took a deep breath as she walked the garden at the back towards his office, already composing what she was going to say in her head—
“Lily.”
Sebastian’s voice wiped out all words, and she stared at him. Her hand automatically flew to her stomach—a gesture he noticed as his eyes followed the movement.
Resolutely, she waited until his gaze returned back to her, then met it head-on. The words that came out of her mouth weren’t the ones she planned, but they were the ones that made sense at the moment.
“I want a relationship. No more secrets.”
Surprise filled his green eyes, an indication that this wasn’t what he had expected her to say. In fact, he looked a little taken aback. Then after surprise came a flash of regret, too fast but definitely there. He shook his head.
“You know that’s not possible,” he said softly.
There was something building up in her chest, threatening to undermine her calm right now. Lily ruthlessly forced it back in. “Then don’t you think this should be over?”
Silence.
&n
bsp; Then Sebastian, whose expression had gone blank, nodded his head. “If you think so.”
Lily didn’t expect that answer at all. She expected…God, she didn’t know what to expect. Maybe she expected him to fight for her, at least a little bit.
Whatever was building inside her chest was rising and she knew she needed to get out of there. Without a single word, just a tiny nod of acceptance, she turned around and slowly walked off.
When she was already near the door at the back of the church, she heard him call her name softly. Once, then twice. But no footsteps came, and he didn’t try to stop her or come after her.
Lily kept walking.
In the car, the floodgates opened. Tears leaked out of her eyes—big, fat tears that started rolling down her cheeks and blurred her vision as she drove back home. Her chest ached—and it wasn’t the kind of ache related to her pregnancy.
She was really, really stupid to believe there could be something more.
A voice inside her mind scolded her for being so naïve, considering it just started out as sex—sex with a man she was attracted to, a man who was absolutely forbidden and thrilling at the same time. Then they started talking more, and he started spending more time—hidden time—at her place, and sometimes she at his place, to cook each other food and just be with each other. It was those quiet moments that gave her a different kind of happiness, the one only brought on when she was curled in his arms before she had to leave. She had told him more about her life in Los Angeles, and he reciprocated by telling her about the accident—and his ultimate decision to leave the university and enter seminary school.
That last thought dominated her mind now as she slowly realized that not only was she stupid but incredibly selfish.
Being a pastor gave him peace. What right did she have to take that peace away from him?
They knew from the start that this was going nowhere. Sebastian was just the more courageous one because he had the guts to reject her.
But that didn’t stop it from hurting.
Her hand touched her stomach again as a certain kind of fear swept over her—the feeling of doing this alone. But her heart told her she wasn’t going to be alone. She had some solid friends. She had her uncle, who loved her dearly.
But she had to keep the father’s identity a secret.
The crying wouldn’t stop. Frustrated, Lily wiped her eyes with her hands, telling herself to keep it together. Maybe a cup of hot tea would do the trick. Or some soup. Definitely not pasta. She loathed pasta right now. She was going to miss that one, but it was only for nine months, anyway. Maybe she would take a liking again, after. She wasn’t sure.
But she was sure the baby would be loved so much.
Still confused about everything, very tired and shaking all over, Lily didn’t stop driving.
She also didn’t see the tree that was coming out to meet her. The impact of the collision sent her pitching forward as a scream tore from her throat before cut off when a sharp pain hit her head.
Then darkness took over.
When consciousness came back, Lily found herself staring at a white ceiling with a buzz of noise in her ears. It didn’t register at first that the buzz was actually voices until a hushed silence filled the air. She blinked to clear her vision and found a lot of faces staring down at her.
Suddenly, everyone started talking at once.
“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Darla exclaimed, putting a hand over her heart in relief. “You were like a limp vegetable just a few minutes ago.”
Janice scoffed. “Is that even the best way to welcome a person back from the dead?”
“Oh, my God!” Hanna said before hushing them both loudly. “You guys are so unbelievable! Stop it with the horrible words!”
“I think we need to give her some space…” Beth warned worriedly.
Someone cleared his throat, and it sounded so much like her uncle. This turned out to be true as the women parted to give way to him as he walked closer, a look of stark relief on his face. He placed a hand on top of hers, smiling gently.
“I’m glad you’re awake,” he said.
Lily nodded her head, which hurt a bit. She winced. Then another commotion set in as the doctor arrived and the women were asked to leave, which they did—but not before promising that they would be back in a bit to bring food and stuff to cheer her up.
The doctor, a familiar man named Johnson, whom she never really got to interact with, asked her a series of questions about her identity to determine her state of mind before prodding her competently with his stethoscope and other tools. He then gave her clearance to rest and said the nurse would be visiting in a bit to bring in some medicines, which puzzled her at first. So she asked.
Dr. Johnson and the reverend exchanged a glance. Then the doctor gently prodded her again if she remembered what happened.
It was all blurry at first—a series of pictures that her mind couldn’t form, which made her frown and her eyebrows furrow. Then, like a cloud parting, everything came into focus as the image puzzle pieced together one by one.
Her heart jumped and her hand went to her stomach.
A look of compassion crossed the doctor’s face before he schooled it to become professional and serious. In a clear, sympathetic tone, he said words that reached her ears and felt hollow.
She had almost been thrown from the car, with only her air bag stopping her from flying out altogether. She suffered a minor head injury, which explained the bandage wrapped around it. Her leg was also very badly bruised and there was a crack in one of the bones from when the front of her car was crushed and she would be walking in a cast and limping for a few weeks before it was fully healed.
The baby was gone. She had bled when she had been unconscious and they couldn’t save it.
It all swirled in Lily’s mind, repeating over and over until she could hear it shouting over her numbness. Then everything made sense and everything became too clear.
The numbness was gone and grief slowly started to seep in.
She didn’t realize that she was crying until she felt the doctor leave with a quiet bid and a hand fall on her shoulder. It was a soothing hand, but it felt completely useless as her shoulders shook and pain hit her body. But the physical pain was nothing compared to the pain inside, overflowing until it could no longer go anywhere.
It was unbelievable how she had loved what was inside her almost immediately, but it was taken away in just a split second. She looked at her uncle, looking to see if he was ashamed of her but all she could see was compassion and love. He made soothing sounds and sat on the side of the bed and reached out to hug her. She fell into his embrace, accepting the comfort that only made her feel emptier.
Then she leaned her head on his shoulder and sobbed.
Janice wasn’t stupid.
She knew there had been something going on between her cousin and Lily for quite some time now—a connection, if you may, every time they looked at each other before pretending the other didn’t exist. Hell, even when they were just in the same room and not acknowledging each other, you could feel the tension—or at least she could, because she had known Sebastian since she was a kid and she was starting to know Lily’s little tics, too.
How they were when they actually talked? Wow.
Sparks flew.
Janice wasn’t sure if Beth or Darla or Hanna noticed it at all, considering they never said anything about it. She had considered telling them, but knew it might cause some real explosion—of the emotional kind, at least. The point was, she knew. She kept it like the secret it was, harboring it deep inside her and locking it away for future contemplation. She never made other people’s business her business and she wasn’t about to start.
Until Lily got into her accident.
Until she saw the depression on Lily’s face.
Until, of course, Lily told them the news about the baby and its loss, while refusing to divulge any information about the would-be father.
Ev
eryone in the room basically exploded with shock when Lily had announced the depressing news. It was a good thing Reverend John had left to get some things because the noise level would have made him wince and cover his ears.
Darla and Hanna started talking over each other while Beth sat down on the nearest available chair in quiet shock. Lily turned redder and redder as the two loud women declared all the things they would do to the unnamed guy.
“If the father so much as visits this hospital right now, we will set him straight,” Hanna said firmly.
Darla nodded vehemently. “I mean, he gets you pregnant but doesn’t even visit you here? What an asshole!”
It was ironic how the one who had the very big crush on said man was the one who would insult him the most today. Janice wondered if Darla would say the same thing if she found out the actual identity of the father. Maybe. Despite Darla’s faults and spoiled tendencies, she often chose her friends first.
But back to the matter at hand.
Lily’s lips were still sealed shut and she was starting to get agitated. Janice knew it was time to intervene—and so she stepped forward between the two women, shot Beth a look to help, and opened her own mouth to speak up.
“You guys shut up.”
Both women kept talking.
“I know who the father is.”
And silence ensued.
Satisfied, Janice turned to Lily, who had stared at her in shock. She reached out to Lily’s hand to give it a quick squeeze and smiled.
“And I think you really need some rest. Girls, let’s go.”
The shocked two followed her without so much as a word with Beth trailing last. Once they were in the hallway, whispers burst out asking Janice who it was, but she merely shook her head.
“Give me few hours.”
Darla stared at her in disbelief. “For?”
“I have something to do. When I come back, I will tell you everything.” Janice looked them one by one in the eye. “And whatever happens, you guys better promise me you don’t make a big deal out of this and make Lily’s life miserable.”
Hanna’s eyes lit up. “I knew it was someone from town!” She calmed down at the hard look in Janice’s eyes, nodding her head and shrugging. “You know she’s our friend. We all have our stupid mistakes.”
