by Hazel Parker
Sebastian waited for John to finish his sermon, waited for the people to slowly file out. It was a slow, painful process. When they were finally alone, he walked over to the man and told him he had something very important to tell him. He told John everything, about the accident, Tanya’s death and his vow to dedicate himself to the church and to helping others. He told him he loved Lily and that the baby was his and how he had told Lily they couldn’t be together because of his vow to dedicate his life to the church. He’d tried to continue his ministry but his heart wasn’t in it without Lily in his life. John listened carefully. Sebastian felt so ashamed he couldn’t look at John.
They sat in silence for a long time.
Then John said quietly, “Sebastian, I think God forgave you a long time ago. Who are you to reject the forgiveness of God? Yes you have been a good pastor, a wonderful, caring pastor but what makes you think that being in a loving relationship with the woman you love more than life will change your love for the people and the church? Do you remember what you told the Burns boy when you counselled him? Don’t you think your ministry will be better if you understand the people you are ministering to? Don’t you think that being a husband and a father who has experienced loss will make you a better pastor? Living love is what the church is all about. Think about that! And forgive yourself! Now go and pray for guidance”.
He had made his decision.
And it wasn’t going to be an easy one.
Almost twenty-four hours of emotional turmoil later, and with the reverend’s wise words echoing in his head Sebastian went home to pack his bags and change his clothes. Then he dialed a number.
“Janice the wise speaking,” Janice answered on the other line after two rings.
“I need Lily’s Los Angeles address,” he said without preamble.
There was a heavy pause, and he was pretty certain his cousin was frowning in disapproval. She cleared her throat.
“And why should I give it to you?” she asked cautiously.
“Because I’m going after her.”
Another pause—of shock this time. He didn’t explain further, certain she understood exactly what he meant.
Finally, she conceded. “Fine. But under one condition.”
“Go for it.”
“We come with you.”
“We?”
“Her friends.”
That startled him for a second. “Why?”
“That’s on us. We want to visit her. You, in the meantime, are going to drive and worry about how to get her back. Oh, and we make separate rides. I don’t want them finding out yet that you’re coming with us.”
He thought it over, then figured out he had nothing to lose.
“Do they know?”
“Everything except your identity. I’ll handle them,” she assured. “You worry about you. And Lily. And Seb?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s not gonna be easy getting her back.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes.”
And he would.
There were plenty of other well-known bookstores in Los Angeles, and it took Lily no less than a day to find one that suited her literary skills and apply. A gentle old man scheduled her for an interview. It went so well that she was given the job on the spot—something she was elated by and took as a sign that maybe settling here wouldn’t be so bad.
Other than getting a new job, she got herself a new apartment—a tiny, suburban-type place that reminded her of Sunnydale with its wooden paneling and old furniture. It wasn’t as posh as the studio she had before with its elegant, modern furniture, but she was determined to make it as homey as she could without having to spend much. She was determined to make her own way. Her trust fund was back up.
On her first week back in the city, Lily decided to indulge herself by shopping for clothes—something she hadn’t been able to do much in the town because clothing shops there were few and far between. She treated herself to some authentic French cuisine right after, telling herself that this was something she had been looking to eat for quite some time now.
And yet she quietly missed Sunnydale.
Determined not to dwell on it at all, Lily walked. She walked and walked and visited parks, museums, and whatever new spot she could find, feeling as if something was missing. It sucked, really, that just when she had fallen in love with a town, the people, and a certain man, it just wasn’t meant to be and she needed to be the one to leave.
But she refused to stay miserable over that.
So she kept herself busy. Other than the bookstore, there was also a nearby chocolate shop that needed a weekly bookkeeper, so she signed up for that, too. Lily worked so hard the next couple of days that her employers were so impressed. By the time weekend came, she was exhausted and thought a good sleeping in would be beneficial.
She dreamed of him, always dreamed of him, but she tried to forget. She dreamed of knocking on doors and strange visitors answering the door ignoring her.
Lily was so used to dreaming that she didn’t realize the pounding on her door was for real. It got so loud that she ended up waking up with a start, dazed and confused and wondering if she had missed some appointment.
Blearily, she stood up and went to the door, prepared to give a lecture to whoever would make such a commotion at…oh. Eight. It was already eight in the morning.
She opened the door.
Blinked.
Before Lily could scream, four women with excited voices screamed happily ahead of her.
“What are you guys doing here, really?” Lily asked again once the niceties—niceties as in her taking a shower and them dragging her out of the house so they could all go out—were done. They had settled to eat at a diner near her house that served one of the cheapest and most flavorful pizzas there was, and ordered slices of all the bestsellers.
“We’re here to visit you!” Hanna said brightly, after ordering a scoop of ice cream before the pizza was to arrive. Apparently, her diet was a no-go, not when in the city.
Beth nodded her head. “Your leaving was too abrupt and we wanted to check out how you’re doing here. We were worried about you.”
Darla was frowning at the menu, still searching for low-calorie stuff after her order of low-carbohydrate pizza. Then she placed it down and stared at Lily in disapproval. “You really should have said goodbye, you know. I’m kind of miffed you just packed up and left.”
Lily nodded. “I’m sorry about that. There were just some things that happened, and I couldn’t stay anymore. I’ve missed you guys.”
Darla’s look softened. “It doesn’t matter. We’re here now.”
“And on that topic,” Hanna added, “We couldn’t help wondering what caused you to leave so quickly.”
Beth leaned forward hastily. “And we don’t mean to sound intruding or anything like that.”
Darla shot her a look. “But we need to ask. Is it about the baby’s father, Lily?”
Lily was shocked. She didn’t know the women knew about the baby. She shook her head. “It’s not that.”
Janice had stayed silent throughout the whole conversation, a very unusual thing that had Lily giving her a puzzled look. Janice wouldn’t meet her eye, as if she were having an internal struggle and was preparing for something.
When the pizza finally arrived, steaming hot and mouthwatering, Janice looked up.
“I have something to say,” she announced.
Everyone paused mid-bite, but she indicated at them to continue and waited for them to start chewing. When they finally did, she took a bite of her own and murmured in appreciation. Then she gulped.
“My cousin, Sebastian, has left the church. He’s taken a sabbatical to think about his calling. Or whatever you call it.”
Forks clanked and a shocked silence filled the air. Totally relaxed, Janice shrugged.
Beth’s eyes widened, but she was the only one who got it right away. A sinking feeling settled in Lily’s stomach as she predicted what Janice was a
bout to say next.
“And he’s gone away to reflect. Some faraway place he refused to tell me.”
It was like a ticking time bomb.
One by one, comprehension dawned on both Hanna’s and Darla’s faces. Then slowly, all heads turned towards Lily, who was still staring dumbfounded at Janice.
Beth was all sympathy. Hanna looked like she was punched in the face and didn’t know how to react.
Darla looked positively furious.
Lily took a deep breath, prepared for the last one to shout at her. To blame her for everything and to make her an outcast then and there, then probably walk out in disgust right after.
Instead, Darla lifted her hand, calling the waiter. Once the waiter arrived, she canceled her order for low-carb pizza and told the waiter to serve her one with cheese—lots and lots of gooey, melty cheese.
When that was done, she finally turned to Lily and let out her opinion in a calm manner.
“That bastard had better kneel and grovel before you take him back. Do you understand me?”
Hanna’s mouth fell open in shock. Janice raised a brow, while Beth merely looked on.
Lily squirmed.
“It’s as much my fault as his, Darla,” she began, but Darla cut her off.
“Sweetheart, not when he let you go just like that,” Darla intoned, taking her hand and squeezing it. “I get he has a calling, and it’s important to him but they don’t have to take a vow of celibacy.”
“You don’t know the whole story”, Lily said quietly. “I understand”.
Unbidden, a tear fell out of Lily’s eye at the words—unexpected words from the last person she expected. Hanna became teary-eyed herself, and Beth was looking down and obviously also trying to control her emotions. Janice raised both brows and merely sat back, waiting for everyone to get a hold of themselves.
When the waiter finally came to serve Darla’s food, he was very confused to find five emotional women at the table, happily immersed in each other and still trying not to cry.
They bonded. That was the best word for it as they strolled around the city and talked about everything, particularly filling in details of what Lily had missed in town. Apparently, Janice had a hot little romance going on—one that she had been trying to hide from everyone.
Until Hanna found them doing it behind a stall in a restaurant.
The fact that Janice got her secret fantasy had all of them mighty amused—more so because it was with Sullivan, of all people. He was the nicest guy in town, and Janice was the rebel—a situation that had Darla declaring what a perfect couple they would turn out to be. Janice refused anything that had to do with the word couple, but Lily could see that there was a content look in her eyes that indicated she really didn’t mind.
They kept bonding, right until midnight and it was time to go home. The women walked Lily to her front door before leaving for their motel room, which was just a few blocks away. Sleepily, they promised Lily they would be back tomorrow and would even visit her at her workplace so they could indulge in chocolates.
Happy at how the day turned out, Lily went inside her house and slept the night away. A big part of her wondered where Sebastian was, worried about him and where he had gone. But she tried to convince herself that moving on was the best option, and she shouldn’t hope at all. Missing him was going to be a part of her for the next few months and she just had to ride through it until she no longer missed him. If that ever happened.
The thought of no longer missing him sent an ache inside her heart, but she ignored that, too.
The next morning knocking woke her up again. Fully expecting her four friends to be on the other end, she called out a warning for them to be quiet and washed her face first before trudging towards the door with a huge grin on her face. She opened the door and opened her mouth, prepared to let them in and ask them to wait while she got herself ready.
The smile and the words froze when she saw who was at the door.
It wasn’t the girls.
“Hello, Lily.”
It was Sebastian, with flowers in his hand.
Lily wasn’t pleased.
Sebastian had expected that—had expected for her to even turn him away the moment she saw his face. He was prepared to handle whatever deflection she was going to do, had even prepared a speech the moment she would open the door—the kind that was poignant and not-so-long, the kind that would charm her back into his arms. He had charm in spades, so it should have been easy to utilize. It should have been a cinch.
But when she opened the door, all words that were in his head were lost.
Lily was wearing boxer shorts and a shirt that seemed to swallow her with its size, and her feet were bare. She had no makeup on, and her hair was a mess, and she basically stared at him with her face frozen in a smile as she obviously expected someone else.
She was beautiful.
Time stopped for all but a few seconds. And then Sebastian was holding the bouquet of flowers out, and the grin had completely left her face as she kept on staring at him.
“Hello, Lily,” he barely managed to croak out.
She blinked. Then Lily took the flowers and nodded a hello, wariness entering her eyes. It made him regret all the things that he did back when he was still full of indecision, because she used to look at him with nothing but trust.
But she wasn’t driving him away. Yet.
Lily stood where she was, gripping the flowers hard. He inwardly winced at the way she was practically crushing the stems, but made no comment as they gazed at each other. Finally, when she seemed to get a grip of herself, she opened her mouth and said the last words he expected to hear.
“I have to work. I’ll…see you around.”
Then she left the door as it was and made a run for her bedroom to get ready.
The flabbergasted Sebastian stayed where he was, thoroughly confused. It wasn’t exactly the warmest of welcomes—nor was it the coldest of rejections.
But there was no flush on her face. Heck, there wasn’t even so much as an expression other than shock. Sebastian decided to stay in her living room as it was, waiting for her to finish dressing. When she did, she gave him a polite smile—polite, of all things—before saying a few more words.
“I’m late. I’ll…see you around.”
And then she was out the door before he could so much as utter a response.
Now it was Sebastian who was shocked.
He visited the chocolate shop where she was working that morning, only finding out where it was because Janice was feeling slightly sympathetic towards his plight. As it turned out, Janice and the other women were already there when he came in—and the look they gave him while sitting in their spots would have frozen water in an instant.
He gave them a nod before going to the counter to order a slice of chocolate cake, then took a seat at a table in the shop’s other end. Lily wasn’t around, and a few minutes later, he heard footsteps approaching him before a pair of red stilettos came into view.
Sebastian looked up at Darla, found her smiling sweetly at him.
“Is this seat taken, Sebastian?” she asked.
No longer Pastor Seb. She obviously already knew. Darla waited until Sebastian indicated at the seat beside him before she sat down delicately. She started a conversation with him about Los Angeles and its splendid sights, suggesting he go out and spend some time to appreciate it, too. It was such an odd commentary that he immediately knew she was preparing him for the big speech, and so he waited, pleasantly answering her questions and telling her what he already toured that she might have missed. She kept up with the chatter, kept up with the friendly attitude and sweet talk, looking delighted to be in the company of a man.
The cake was served, a slice of chocolate that was topped with creamy icing and more chocolate fudge. Darla looked at it appreciatively before leaning her body towards him in a slow, graceful movement.
“Sebastian?”
He gripped the fork, sliced a pi
ece. “Yes, Darla?”
“Why are you here?”
Calmly, he slid the piece in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.
“To get Lily back,” he said truthfully. It would be a waste of time evading the woman’s question. She had a knack for finding out the truth.
“Right. Sebastian?”
“What?”
Darla smiled. “If you hurt a single bone in her body or make her cry, you have four women to answer to.” She tilted her head, as if thinking it over. “And a beloved reverend and uncle.”
The words were said so sweetly, he blinked and paused chewing. Then Sebastian nodded his head and looked her levelly in the eye.
“Darla?”
“Hmm?”
“I’d rather cut off my own hand than hurt her again.”
This time, it was Darla who blinked and leaned back.
Then she gave him a brilliant smile that would have blinded—and dazzled—a lesser man.
“I’m glad we’re in agreement, then,” she said cheerfully. With that parting statement, Sunnydale’s resident spoiled rich girl stood back up and sat with her group as if nothing had happened.
Sebastian looked at his cake, replaying the conversation in his mind.
Then with a small smile, he continued eating.
Lily kept herself busy for the rest of her Saturday, but she was polite enough to sit down with him during half of her break—the other half being spent with Janice and the others. She seemed calmer now and friendlier as she asked him how he was doing, even telling him a bit about her two new jobs with her eyes sparkling in excitement as she described them to him. He listened, asking questions when he could and listened some more, cherishing every minute she spent with him at that table.
He let her talk and made do with her placid expression. Then, when she was about to stand up and get back to work, Sebastian placed his hand on top of hers.
“I’ve missed you, Lil,” he murmured, deliberately using her nickname—the one he often used when he gathered her in his arms at dawn and buried his head at the back of her neck.
He felt her hand tremble slightly, saw the flicker in her eyes before she steadied her gaze. Slowly, he released her hand—and felt a deep, inward satisfaction when she almost bumped into a chair on her way back to the counter.
