An Ex to Grind in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 5) Paperback – September 4, 2014

by Ann Charles

  “Keep out of my private affairs, Red.” Ray grabbed his keys and slammed his drawer shut. “Or I’ll start raking through yours.”

  “Where you going, Ray?” Ben asked. “Jerry told us to stick around.”

  “Out. If Jerry asks, tell him I’ll be back in time for my interview.” With a parting scowl at Mona, Ray slammed out the front door.

  Mona watched him leave, and then gave me a quick wink. “You’ll do great, Vi. I have faith in you. You’re a natural.”

  “Violet,” Jerry poked his head out his doorway. “We’re ready for you in here.

  I stood and smoothed my tunic and dress pants. Ray was probably right. I was overreacting, and I blamed Rex. If he weren’t in the picture, tomorrow would be no big deal. The key was to keep things bland and boring with Rex. I could do that.

  “Thanks.” I patted Mona’s shoulder on the way to Jerry’s office. “Coffee’s on me tomorrow for that one.”

  Inside Jerry’s office, the three of them sat behind his desk, reminding me of a panel of beauty pageant judges. Too bad I’d walked into the swimsuit competition part of the show.

  “Close the door behind you, please,” Jerry said. He slid on a pair of black rimmed reading glasses, picked up a notepad, and clicked his pen a few times.

  My eye started to tic.

  I shut the door.

  * * *

  Several hours later, I sat in Aunt Zoe’s kitchen with pizza remains scattered on plates around the table, my mouth still tasting like pepperoni. Addy and Layne were in the backyard sitting on the swing set. They kept shooting dirty looks my way like I’d eaten all of their cotton candy.

  “I’ve ruined their lives again,” I told Aunt Zoe as she collected the kids’ plates.

  I’d ordered them into the backyard moments ago, forgetting to tell them to take their plates to the sink in the midst of the whining and bitching as they stomped outside.

  “It’s not your fault you can’t take them to Oktoberfest. You have to work.” She dropped a kiss on the top of my head. “Don’t beat yourself up too much. You’re just getting started on messing up their worlds. Wait until they hit the teen years.”

  Doc squeezed my leg under the table. The warmth of his palm through my yoga pants eased some of the stress left over from the day’s messes. “I can take them tomorrow afternoon.”

  I sat back, stunned. After the cacophony he’d just witnessed when I told my kids they couldn’t go to the festival tomorrow without me, I was surprised he wanted to be in the same town right now. “Don’t you have any appointments?”

  “Just one.” He pointed across the table at Harvey. “He’s sitting right there. I bet he’d be willing to reschedule.”

  “Hell, I might as well go with you,” Harvey wiped his mouth and hands with his napkin. “We can jaw about my uncle’s estate while we’re strollin’ around, checkin’ out the kids’ projects they were bawlin’ about.” Harvey shot me a questioning look. “Unless you want me to ride along with you and those TV people?”

  I hadn’t told Harvey or Aunt Zoe about the Rex factor yet. Only Doc knew the whole truth as to why I was hyperventilating on the inside about tomorrow afternoon’s appointment. The fewer who knew about Rex being in town, the less chance there was of someone slipping about his paternal role in front of my kids.

  Aunt Zoe hadn’t actually met Rex way back when. She knew all about him but wouldn’t be able to pick him out in a crowd. Harvey didn’t need to know about the kids’ dad at this point. Part of me was worried he’d come up with some crazy reason to shoot Rex’s ass full of buckshot, and the other part hoped he did.

  “Thanks, Harvey, but I don’t think my boss would appreciate me bringing my bodyguard along. He’s pretty stressed about this whole TV thing going well.”

  In spite of Jerry’s cheerleader attitude this afternoon in his office, I’d caught glimmers of his anxiety in the way he’d kept fidgeting and frowning at his desktop during the meeting. His normal air of confidence had been absent. When Ben had told me Jerry was off his shooting game earlier that morning, I started to do some mental math.

  In spite of Ben being hired, Calamity Jane Realty hadn’t had a big upswing of sales since Jane had died. When I started adding things up, a suspicion crept up. Could Jerry be taking such outlandish marketing gambles because the company was having money troubles? Maybe Jerry had been trying so hard to build Ben’s and my careers with these stupid billboard ads and the television show so we could keep our jobs.

  Aunt Zoe returned to the table. “Violet, what are you going to do about this television crew invading your privacy?”

  “As far as I can see, I have no choice but to go along with it. I like my job. I don’t want to lose it.”

  “At what cost to your reputation?” she pressed.

  I guffawed. “My reputation is in shambles already. You know that.”

  “Jane would never have put you in this position.”

  “True.” I polished off the last bite of my crust. “But maybe it’s a matter of Jane not having been willing to take risks.”

  “What do you mean?” Aunt Zoe crossed her arms over her chest, looking miffed. “Jane took plenty of risks. She hired you based on a recommendation alone.”

  “Yes, and I’m thankful to both of you for taking a chance on me. But Jane made it no secret that she couldn’t afford to hire two employees when she took me on. That’s the whole reason Ray was so bent on getting me fired—it was always Ben or me when Jane was alive. Now with Jerry at the helm, it’s Ben and me. That addition to the headcount had to come at a cost to the company’s bottom line.”

  I glanced at Harvey then Doc. Both were eyeing me—Harvey stroking his beard, Doc fiddling with his fork.

  “I don’t begrudge Ben his job,” I continued, wanting to persuade them to see this from my newfound perspective so they wouldn’t think I was a nincompoop for going along with Jerry’s ideas. “He’s a much better co-worker than Ray.”

  “That’s cuz he’s sweet on you,” Harvey said.

  Doc slanted Harvey a nod of agreement.

  “He might have been at one time, but now he’s always professional.”

  “Sure he is. The boy still thinks he has a chance of gettin’ in your bloomers.” Harvey’s two gold teeth showed through his whiskers. “That dog’s still on the hunt; he’s just bein’ sly about gettin’ you up in the tree. Am I right, Doc?”

  Doc grunted, letting his fork rest on the table.

  I wasn’t going to argue with either of them about Ben’s intentions. They weren’t important considering I was howling at the moon each night about the man whose hand was now draped over the back of my chair, playing with my hair.

  I waved Harvey’s smirk away and focused back on Aunt Zoe. “For now the cost to keep both Ben and me rather than make us fight for one position might mean I have to shed a few pounds of pride and dignity.”

  “That billboard is more than just a few,” she muttered.

  “The way I see it at this junction in my career, if Jerry asks me to wear a velvet sweat suit and dance to the oldies in public because he believes it will help my sales, I’ll have to start practicing the Twist and maybe the Charleston, too.”

  “Velvet, huh?” Doc said, his eyes twinkling.

  He had a fantasy involving me wearing one of those velvet belly dancer tops. It included him taking it off of me with his teeth. He never clarified what was going to happen after that, but based on previous experiences when his teeth were involved, I had a good idea and it made me tingle all over imagining the scene.

  “Fine,” Aunt Zoe said, sounding like it was anything but. “I understand you need to do what’s necessary in order to provide for the kids, but I reserve the right to pop your boss in the nose for plastering my niece on a billboard like that. You’re not a piece of meat, Violet Lynn. You deserve to be treated with respect, not dressed up in leather and displayed on high like a trollop.”

  “I wasn’t wearing leather.”

 
Her lips thinned. “I was making a point.”

  Harvey snickered. “Doc doesn’t mind the leather, do ya?”

  “Leather chafes me in places. I prefer velvet.”

  That got a bigger chuckle out of Harvey. He pushed to his feet. “Be right back. I need to hit the head.”

  After he left, I took Aunt Zoe’s hand and held it to my cheek for a moment. “I appreciate you wanting to protect me, but don’t hurt this hand punching Jerry.” I had a theory that he was made of a block of granite covered in skin. “You need it to create more gorgeous glass pieces.”

  She opened her palm and cupped my jaw. “I’m worried about you.” Her tone was warm but serious.

  “I’m okay,” I sort of lied. Although sitting here in her kitchen surrounded by some of the people closest to me, I felt better than I had all day. Except when it came to those two kids who were still shooting me with laser glares. Letting them down always made me feel low, like toenail fungus level.

  Her blue eyes bored into mine. I tried to hide my worries behind a big goofy grin that I hoped reached all the way up to my eyes.

  “What aren’t you telling me, Violet Lynn?”

  That the bogeyman was in town, making me want to lock my kids in their bedrooms until I could make him go away again. “Nothing.”

  She scanned my face, up and down, left to right. “Is it something to do with Ms. Wolff and Layne?”

  “No. Last night I told you everything I saw in her apartment with Detective Cooper and Hawke.” That was the truth. Even though Cooper had made me promise not to say a thing, I’d shared it all with Aunt Zoe and then made her pinky swear to secrecy. I’d hoped that her eyes would light up with answers to some of my many questions about Ms. Wolff, but she’d frowned and shook her head through it all.

  She released my chin and sat back, her gaze still boring into me. “You and I need to have a long talk one of these days about what it is you are trying to protect me from.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Aunt Zoe tapped her index finger on the table. “I think you underestimate what I can do to help you better understand some of your problems.”

  “What problems?” I tried to keep a straight face.

  She snorted, shooting a look out at the kids. “Now is not the time or place. But how about telling me why a ‘Detective Hawke’ called here this afternoon looking for you.”

  I hadn’t filled her in about that Neanderthal. Crudmongers, that detective was persistent. I cringed just thinking about him.

  “He mentioned something about a book,” she added, her eyebrows inching up, her unspoken question shining clearly in her stare as it bounced between Doc and me.

  “He’s probably referring to a book I got from Ms. Wolff’s bedroom,” I answered, clarifying it wasn’t about the book. “I’ll call him back later tonight.”

  If it were an emergency, Cooper would have shown up at my door demanding my presence “or else.” Since it was only Detective Hawke who was calling, I was going to answer on my terms when I was darn well ready.

  I turned to Doc. “Did you have a chance to read through any of that history book from Ms. Wolff’s place?”

  “I skimmed it this afternoon in between clients. When I get home tonight, I plan to take a closer look.”

  Fudge, that meant he wasn’t going to be staying late. I really had been looking forward to exploring more under his shirt after the kids had gone to bed, especially after the way his fingers kept stroking my neck. “I appreciate your help.”

  “It’ll cost you,” he returned. His eyes were dark, foreshadowing wicked deeds.

  For him, the moon.

  I focused back on Aunt Zoe. “It’s not like the other book,” the one made of flesh that starred a demon who haunted my nightmares. “This is just a book on the history of Deadwood.”

  “Sort of,” Doc said.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “From what I could tell after a quick skim this afternoon, it’s more like a personal account of what occurred here during the gold rush years and after.”

  “Personal how?” Aunt Zoe rested her elbows on the table, leaning into the conversation.

  Rubbing his jaw, Doc shrugged. “It’s as if the author knows all of the characters firsthand, telling tales from the viewpoint of the participants.”

  “Are there pictures in it?” Aunt Zoe asked.

  “A few. They were pretty grainy.”

  Aunt Zoe’s phone started ringing.

  “You want to get that?” she asked me. “It’s probably a certain detective calling for you. He mentioned calling again this evening.”

  I shook my head. “Let the machine get it. I’ll call him later.” The new detective was going to have to learn that I wasn’t going to be bossed around so easily.

  It rang again.

  Doc stood and stretched. “I should probably head out so I can get started on that book.”

  Nodding, I pushed back my chair. “I’ll walk you out.”

  We passed Harvey at the archway between the dining room and kitchen.

  “Where are you two headin’?”

  “I’m taking off,” Doc said.

  Harvey glanced at the phone on Aunt Zoe’s kitchen wall. “Is someone gonna get that?”

  “No. It’s probably Hawke again. I’ll call when I’m ready.”

  He let us pass.

  “I’ll leave the door unlocked,” Doc called over his shoulder.

  “Why are you telling Harvey that?” I asked as Doc held open the front door for me.

  “He’s crashing at my place again.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  “There’s plenty of room for company,” he said.

  I’d noticed. I’d also wished a few times for an invitation to fill his house with all of my stuff when I felt less able to take on the world alone. I did my best to squelch that wish whenever it popped up. Daydreaming about playing house with Doc would put my heart on the edge of a cliff. I preferred it to stay about ten feet back on safer ground.

  Doc closed the door behind us. “Cooper mentioned at the poker game that he’s concerned about Harvey staying alone at the ranch with everything going on. That in turn concerns me, so I told Harvey I wouldn’t mind him using my couch instead of your aunt’s after he mentioned sometimes feeling like a third wheel here.”

  I hadn’t realized Harvey felt that way. I hoped it wasn’t something I’d done. He might snore like a chainsaw and keep me up past my bedtime talking some nights, but I’d gotten used to him being there. Hell, I’d come to rely on his help with my kids.

  Doc took my hand and led me down the porch steps. “Come on. I have something for you.”

  “What?” I asked when we reached his car.

  He opened the door, reached down inside, and then put something cold and cylindrical in my hand. “This.”

  I held it up in the moonlight. “What is it? A flashlight?”

  “And a taser.” He showed me how to turn it on.

  I’d seen one exactly like it yesterday. “Did you steal it from Cooper?”

  “He had an extra, so I traded for it.”

  Great, Cooper and I now had matching flash-tasers. We could take turns tasering each other instead of using barbed insults. “Traded what?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” He closed his door quietly. “There’s something else I wanted to tell you while we’re alone.”

  My silly heart was all ears suddenly. “What?”

  He glanced back at the house, then said in a lowered voice, “I want to see Rex before you leave with him tomorrow afternoon.”

  That wasn’t on my list of things I wanted him to say to me while we were alone. “Why?”

  “Because I’m taking Layne and Addy to the Oktoberfest and I want to keep an eye out for him in case he leaves your office and decides to head to the festivities.”

  “Doc, you don’t need to do that.”

  “I know.”

  “It’s not a good idea.” I wanted
to hug him for offering, but my knees shook at what my kids might tell him when I wasn’t there.

  “What are you afraid of?” he asked.

  He must never have seen The Parent Trap. I hesitated, not sure how to explain without making my kids sound like little hell spawns, which they weren’t.

  Aunt Zoe and I had put our heads together last weekend, discussing the change in the two of them since I’d told them about Doc. I fretted I was putting my needs over theirs, but she thought they were reacting out of fear, afraid of losing me to him. He was a threat. They didn’t get that I wasn’t going anywhere without them.

  “I won’t let anything happen to your children,” he assured.

  I squeezed his hand. “I know you won’t.”

  “Good. Then I’ll pick them up here after they get home from school.”

  “Okay.” I’d have a talk with the kids tonight and threaten to lock up indefinitely all they held dear if they gave Doc a single problem tomorrow. “I’ll let Aunt Zoe know.”

  “What about Rex?”

  “I’ll figure out something so that you can see him before we head out. Just be around your office at two.” That was the magic hour when the black hole was going to open up and the sucking sensation would begin.

  “I’ll be there.” He tugged me closer, sliding his hands along both sides of my face. He tipped my mouth so it lined up with his. “Make sure you take your taser with you tomorrow, Boots.”

  “You want me to zap Rex in front of the TV people?” That would make for some exciting television.

  “I’d like you to zap him period.” He brushed his lips over mine, a feathery tease. “Aim low.”

  I laughed quietly, teasing back with my mouth. He let me play. “Speaking of exes,” I said, coming up for air, “have you heard from Tiffany today?”

  “She stopped by.”

  Urchhh! I pulled away, gaping up at him. “What? Why?” I punched him playfully on the shoulder. “And why am I just hearing about this now?”

  He captured my wrist, lacing our fingers. “She wanted to talk about the account I’m still managing for her.”

  “Oh.” I called bullshit on that being the only reason, but I wasn’t going to say anything and sound like a jealous girlfriend.