An Ex to Grind in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 5) Paperback – September 4, 2014

by Ann Charles

  “I don’t want to make you do that.”

  “Christ, Violet, let me protect you for once.”

  Ten minutes later, we climbed Aunt Zoe’s front porch steps. I paused at the top, frowning out at the darkness. “Was that a dream back there in that apartment?”

  He took my face in his palms, his eyes glittering, reflecting the light leaking through Aunt Zoe’s front windows. I breathed in the scent of his skin, letting it soothe my jangled nerves. “If I tell you my answer, are you going to believe me?”

  “Yes.”

  Lowering his mouth, he kissed me slow and wonderfully, warming me from the inside out. I wanted to crawl inside his coat and curl up under his shirt until all of the bogeymen were shooed away.

  He lifted his mouth, feathering kisses over my face, pulling me into his arms. “Violet,” he said over my head.

  “What.”

  “That was no dream.”

  The screen door creaked. “Mom?” Addy called, sniffling.

  Doc released me. I kneeled in front of Addy. “My ear hurts,” she cried, burying her head in my neck.

  I hugged her tight. “It’ll be okay, baby. I’ll make it better.”

  “Can you make my ear better, too?” Doc said, his voice full of mirth.

  “Mom,” Addy looked up at me, her face pinched. “I had a nightmare. You were in the hospital and wouldn’t wake up.”

  That was a weird coincidence. “I’m fine, baby. Let’s go inside.”

  “Is Doc coming, too?”

  “Yes, he’s going to stay here tonight and watch over us.”

  She measured Doc for a moment. “Good,” she said and took my hand, pulling me inside.

  I glanced back at Doc. “Coming?”

  “I’m right behind you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Thursday, October 11th

  Doc spent the night in my bed.

  Unfortunately, I wasn’t there with him.

  Addy’s earache had pained her until the wee hours of the morning. I woke to find myself leaning over onto her pillows, imitating the tower in Pisa. Addy’s head was on my leg, which felt numb from the hip down.

  As I sat upright, my gaze toured the room as I listened for sounds other than Addy’s soft snores. Was that the murmur of voices coming from downstairs? I heard a chair scrape on the kitchen floor, then more murmuring.

  I tucked a wisp of Addy’s hair behind the ear that had given her so much trouble in the night. As much as I loathed earaches, I’d appreciated the normalcy of it throughout the dark hours as my thoughts circled over what had gone down at the Galena House. An earache I understood—an ax-wielding bogeyman from the past, not so much.

  I slid out from under her, replacing my lap with her pillow. She moaned but didn’t wake. I limped out of the room and closed the door behind me, leaning back against it while I stifled a yawn.

  I hadn’t dreamed all night. Not even a quick glimpse into some wispy world—shadow-filled or rainbow-edged. The dream machine in my brain seemed to be temporarily out of order. Or maybe I’d broken it completely yesterday.

  After a quick check on Layne, who was sleeping with his butt in the air like he had done when he was a baby, I closed his door. I walked by the empty bathroom, hesitating outside of my bedroom door. I inched it open. My bed was made, my clothes that had littered the floor folded or draped over the mattress. Wow. I could get used to that. I was tempted to go sniff my pillows, see if I could smell Doc on them but decided to head downstairs and touch the real deal instead.

  The third stair down creaked under my bare foot. The aroma of toast and eggs played carrot to my eager stomach. Harvey must be awake, working his magic with food.

  To my surprise, I found Doc instead of Harvey standing at the kitchen stove cooking breakfast. I fell into the chair between Harvey and Aunt Zoe, blinking fully awake while exchanging good-mornings all around. It wasn’t until Doc placed a mug of steaming coffee under my nose and tugged on a corkscrew of hair bobbing in front of my face that I remembered I hadn’t stopped by the bathroom to spruce up before stumbling down here. I patted my curls, which were spiraling every which way.

  Crud, I could probably pass for Buckwheat’s blonde twin.

  “You look fresh out of clown college with that hair.” Harvey confirmed my suspicion. “I’m heading out to my ranch after I drop the kids off at school this morning. Want me to bring you back my rainbow suspenders?”

  I nailed him with a glare in response.

  He wheezed out his chuckles. “Be careful this mornin’, Doc. She may take a bite out of more than just yer ear.”

  His ear? Oh, yeah. Last night’s train wreck backed over me, leaving deep grooves. I groaned, covering my face with my hands, and leaned forward on my elbows. “What did you tell him, Doc?”

  “He didn’t say a thing,” Aunt Zoe spoke up, clearing her throat. “Harvey noticed the teeth marks and Doc came clean about you two getting a little frisky.”

  My sex life and coffee for breakfast. Hmmm. I was going to need more coffee.

  I peeked over at Harvey between my fingers. “You noticed the teeth marks on his ear? Jeez-louise, were you giving him a physical this morning or what?”

  “I have keen powers of observation, girl.” He knocked twice on the table. “You’d be smart to remember that.”

  “What else have you observed?” Doc asked, setting a plate with buttered toast and eggs cooked over-easy in front of Harvey, along with a bottle of hot sauce and ketchup. He pointed a spatula at me, “Hungry?”

  I shook my head, but my stomach voiced its opposition. “Maybe a piece of buttered toast. But I can get it.”

  “Sit still and drink your coffee,” he said, his smile making me forget how frightening I undoubtedly looked.

  I ogled his backside as he stood at the stove, liking the cozy feel of him there with us. When I dragged my eyes off him, I found Aunt Zoe watching me watch Doc.

  “I’ve observed a few things, too,” she said, her gaze narrowing as she stirred her coffee.

  Eek. I knew that look well. It meant she was going to be cornering me soon and asking some probing questions. I squirmed and hid behind my cup.

  “Well, since you asked,” Harvey said to Doc’s back, “and since we’re all sittin’ here jawin’ over good food,” he piled his sunny-side up egg on top of his toast and sprinkled it with some hot sauce. “I have spied with my keen eye a few head scratchers.” He took a bite of his egg sandwich, dabbing at the yolk that dripped into his beard.

  “Willis, you don’t need to shake your can of beans so much before you spill them,” Aunt Zoe said with sarcasm. “You’ve got our attention, so let ‘er rip.”

  Harvey shot her a gold-toothed grin. “All right, Miss Impatient, I’ll start with you. I noticed your pickup was parked down near the fire station the last few days.” When Aunt Zoe opened her mouth, he held up his hand. “Now I ‘spose you’re gonna tell me that you’re parkin’ down there rather than behind your store so that you can get yourself some exercise, that walkin’s good for us and all that bullshit. But I suspect you’re hopin’ to catch a glimpse of a certain fire captain who’s been moonin’ over you lately like a lovesick teenager.”

  Harvey paused while Doc placed a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of Aunt Zoe.

  “You can deny you still have a hankerin’ for good ol’ Reid Martin until you’re pushin’ up daisies, but I think you’re still moonin’ a bit yourself what with the way you go for your shotgun whenever he comes around.”

  Aunt Zoe stabbed her eggs, shaking her head.

  She was parking down by the fire station, huh? I wondered if Reid had noticed her pickup parked there, too. If not, I wondered if some little bearded, gold-toothed birdy might accidentally mention that fact to Reid while another little curly-haired birdy worked on softening her aunt up about going to dinner with the fire captain and trying to rekindle their friendship at least.

  “I’m gonna give you a bit of advice from a lonely o
l’ man, Zoe,” Harvey said, lining up his egg sandwich for another bite. “Life’s short. Forget about stupid shit from the past and stay frisky as long as your equipment keeps workin’ for ya.”

  “You should write greeting cards, Willis,” Doc said from over by the toaster. “That one would be a top seller.”

  I snickered.

  Harvey swallowed a bite of his breakfast. “My uncle tried that years ago. They didn’t like his cussin’ so much.”

  “Their loss.” Doc replied while buttering my toast.

  Maybe we could hook up for lunch somewhere private and he could butter my muffin, too.

  Cripes, that sounded like something Harvey would say. The old buzzard was rubbing off on me. Next I’d be toting a shotgun around and saying stuff like gol-darn and dad-gum.

  “But enough about my sentiments on life,” Harvey said, “let’s talk about your book collection, Doc.”

  Doc set my toast down under my nose. “What about it?”

  “Why did you come to Deadwood?” Harvey asked.

  “I answered this question before.”

  “Humor me. I’m an old man.”

  “Not that old,” Doc said, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed.

  “Old enough to know when I’m being honeyfuggled.” He finished off his sandwich, wiped his beard, and turned in his chair to give Doc his full attention. “I suspect you came to this town for a reason.”

  “To start a business,” Doc supplied.

  “Partly maybe, but you could have started your business any place. After checkin’ out the books you keep handy and payin’ mind to places you don’t frequent much, like Mudder Brothers during funerals, I suspect you chose this ol’ ghost town for a reason havin’ to do with your rare condition.”

  I frowned at Harvey. Had he figured out Doc’s secret?

  “My rare condition?” Doc kept a poker face.

  I glanced at Aunt Zoe, she was eagle-eyeing Doc.

  “You know,” Harvey said, “that problem you have of gettin’ the wind knocked plum out of ya when you share space with the dead.”

  Crap! He had figured it out. I shoved half a piece of toast into my mouth, chewing without tasting. What was Doc going to do? Would he lie outright to Harvey and Aunt Zoe? Should I lie outright for him? Or should I crack a joke, yell FIRE, or fall off my chair and pretend to have a seizure? I needed to do something distracting. Where were my kids when we needed an interruption, dang it?

  “What are you saying?” Doc met Harvey’s stare head on.

  “I’m sayin’ you see ghosts.”

  My pulse raced in a reckless three-beat gait. I had to do something. “Harvey, you’re wrong. Doc can’t—”

  “Violet,” Doc stopped me. “It’s okay.”

  I groaned for him and picked at my toast.

  “I can’t usually see them,” Doc told Harvey. “But I can sense they are there through other means, and I can switch places with them for short bouts.”

  “Hoo-haw!” Harvey clapped his hands. “I knew it! Damn I’m good.”

  Doc jammed his hands in his front pockets. “I’d appreciate it if you kept this knowledge to yourself for Violet and her kids’ sakes.”

  “And to protect Doc’s business,” I added.

  Harvey blew a raspberry, sounding remarkably like a horse. He needed to spend less time with four-footed mammals. “I ain’t gonna say a word.”

  All eyes turned to Aunt Zoe.

  “Your secret is safe with me, Doc. I appreciate your honesty.” At his nod, she added, “And thank you for taking care of my niece.”

  Doc looked at me and shrugged. “She usually takes care of herself whether I try to help or not.”

  “She’s stubborn as a mule,” Harvey added. “And ornery to boot. She needs you around to keep her butt from ending up in jail again.”

  “Hey!” I slapped the buzzard’s arm. “That was your fault.”

  “She definitely has a nose for trouble,” Doc agreed, his grin crooked. “But she’s easy on the eyes and has me wrapped around that little finger of hers. Besides, a bit of stubbornness is good. It keeps her feisty.”

  I huffed at Doc. I’d give him feisty all right.

  “Better watch it, boy,” Harvey said. “She’ll bite your ear again and slap a saddle on you this time. That’s how we used to tame stallions back in the day.”

  “Some men don’t mind being saddled,” Aunt Zoe said, sitting back in her chair. “I suspect you’re one of those men, Willis. You’re just too stubborn and ornery to admit it. Maybe we should talk to Miss Geary about saddles.”

  Harvey snorted. “I need to find me another filly. She put me out to pasture when that young stallion showed up.”

  I bit my lip to stop it from rattling out a string of insults about Miss Geary’s so-called stallion, the no good, stinking rotten varmint.

  “I haven’t seen Mr. Black Sports Car around for a while,” Aunt Zoe told him.

  “Violet has,” Harvey poked me in the shoulder. “Haven’t ya, girlie?”

  “Uhhhh…” I gave an Oscar performance of a deer caught in Harvey’s headlights.

  “Remember,” Harvey pointed at the center of my face, “your nose twitches when you lie, so cough up the truth. Who’s your friend?”

  “He’s no friend.” I winced at Aunt Zoe, anticipating her reaction.

  “Violet Lynn, what aren’t you telling me?”

  I felt Doc’s hand squeeze my shoulder. I clamped onto it and told the truth. “The Jaguar belongs to Rex Conner.”

  Aunt Zoe’s coffee cup slammed to the table, jarring my ears. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “He was using Miss Geary to spy on us.”

  “Who’s Rex Conner?” Harvey asked.

  I glanced at the entryway to the kitchen, making sure neither of my kids was standing there. “My sperm donor,” I whispered.

  I had told the old man bits and pieces about my past with the kids’ father after Harvey had met the bitch from hell, aka Susan.

  Aunt Zoe leaned forward, her upper lip curled. “That son of a bitch was over there this whole time?”

  I nodded.

  “You mean he was just usin’ Beatrice?” Harvey puffed his chest out. “Taking advantage of her generous nature?”

  Generous nature? Is that what he called her burning up the sheets with a much younger man? I nodded again.

  “What does he want?” Aunt Zoe glanced over her shoulder toward the dining room. “The kids?” she said quietly.

  “He admitted to having a science experiment sort of curiosity about them but no interest in anything more.”

  “Then what?”

  “Ummm …” I hesitated on my answer, not wanting to put a voice to the words, as if not saying it would keep it from being true.

  Doc released my shoulder, heading back to the counter. “He wants your niece.”

  “Well,” Aunt Zoe gripped her coffee cup with both hands, “he can’t have you.”

  Harvey cracked his knuckles. “That two-timin’ bull wandered into the wrong pasture this time.”

  “He wants what he can’t have.” I circled the rim on my mug with my finger. “Always has, always will.”

  “If I see that worthless bastard,” Aunt Zoe said, “I’m going to string him up by his balls and use him for a piñata.”

  “You’ll need to get in line behind Natalie,” Doc told her.

  “What about you?” Harvey asked him.

  “I have other plans in mind.”

  Like what? I wanted to ask but wasn’t comfortable with being the core of the problem at hand.

  Doc folded the dishtowel and placed it on the counter. “I need to get going. Walk me out, Violet?”

  I nodded and followed him into the dining room. His bag sat by the front door, waiting to go. The early morning air nipped at my bare ankles and feet where my thick robe didn’t cover.

  “Thanks for breakfast,” I said, smiling up at him. “And for staying the night with me.”


  “Your pillows smell like you.” He pulled me into his embrace. “Made me want to do wicked things to them.”

  I rubbed suggestively against him. “Like what?”

  “Stop it right there, Boots.”

  “Spoilsport,” I rested my head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart on my forehead. “Have lunch with me today?”

  “Sure. We need to talk about last night, share stories, match up details, and then talk to Cornelius.”

  I sighed. I’d been trying to avoid as much of that as I could since we’d left the Galena House. My guts churned whenever I started contemplating what it meant if it was not a dream. “Or we could have sex on your desk.”

  “You’re evading, sweetheart.” He tipped my chin up and kissed me, warming my lips and more. “I’ll come to your office at …” he waited, his eyebrows raised.

  “One o’clock.” I was taking the late lunch today, watching the office until the others came back from theirs.

  “One it is.” He skimmed his knuckles down the side of my robe, brushing over my breast. “Wear your boots, vixen.”

  He left me standing there grinning like a big doofus in spite of the dark clouds overhead. I studied the gray sky as he drove off. They almost looked like snow clouds.

  “Brrrr.” I clutched my robe and hustled back inside.

  Layne sat at the kitchen table when I returned. Addy was still sleeping. I kissed my son’s head as he chowed down on the eggs Doc had left for him and then zipped upstairs to take a shower and get ready for work.

  The sight of myself in the bathroom mirror made me hold the sides of my face and screech, imitating Edvard Munch’s The Scream masterpiece. Old man Harvey was right; I looked like a freaky clown. I checked my teeth. At least I didn’t have any food in them.

  After a shower, a few spritzes of perfume, and a tooth brushing, I clomped downstairs in my purple boots. I passed Harvey and Layne on the way to the kitchen. They headed out the door after a kiss goodbye—for Layne, not the old buzzard who was still cursing under his breath about his ex-girlfriend being screwed over by my ex-boyfriend. I resisted commenting on the irony of it all, afraid he’d pinch me again.

  In the kitchen, I poured some coffee in a travel mug, capped it, and turned to find Aunt Zoe standing behind me with her arms crossed and her chin set.