Aura In LaLaLand

by Skye Grace

  “They’re making a slacking movie?!” she cries, literally now, and can’t help her shaking hands as she realizes it was everything she didn’t know she needed. Not just to watch it, but, maybe...

  “That’s right,” Alexis whispers as she crawls into bed next to her bestie, smiling conspiratorially. “And Jacksen’s love interest is yet to be cast.”

  Aura drops the phone and turns to Lex with her shining doe eyes and mouths, “Are you kidding me?”

  “I wouldn’t kid about this, Aur,” she says, petting her hair, and she has to take a few deep breaths, calming herself.

  “But I’ve gotta be straight with you, and I can say this because my little role on the show was one of my first. And one of my favorites! But-”

  “You made a gorgeous minion to the high priestess, by the way. Very feisty!” Aura interjects, resulting in an adorable eyeroll from Alexis. She’d practically died when her best friend popped up in an earlier episode, and hated not being able to express her excitement to her, not being able to tell her how it feels to get to relive just about everything.

  “Thanks,” she responds, “But if you do this movie… I mean if you want to audition and then get it, I, I just want you to know. It’s not like The Protectors is bad, it’s not. It’s just that...”

  “It can be campy,” Aura offers, attempting to be objective, but to her, fun and campy was just as good as contemporary and contemplative dramas were to other people, the people that watch my show, for instance, she muses.

  “Yes. And it’s just not, critically acclaimed, like Girl Gang is, you know. I just wanna warn you, if you call the dreaded agent and tell her you wanna do it, she might not be too happy.”

  “You think she’s gonna say no? Just like that? Doesn’t she care about me at all?” she fumes as she hops out of bed unexpectedly. She rips the curtains behind her bed open, somehow earnestly expecting to see something other than pure darkness with just the faintest moonlight reflecting off the soft ocean waves. She really has no idea what day, let alone what time, it really is now.

  “Val probably won’t think it’s the best idea, girl. That’s up to her, not me. I just wanted you to be informed, before you call her.”

  “Up to her?” she lashes back, “What about me? This is my career, and I’m seriously going to be available right when this is going to be filmed?”

  Alexis just nods and Aura begins waving her cell phone wildly, “Then it’s meant to be! And I’m calling her right now,” she announces, glancing at the time on her cell, “And I don’t care what damn time it is.”

  Alexis stands, eyes gleaming, and grabs Aura’s hand. It’s the first time in she doesn’t know how long, that she can read Alexis’ face and see that genuine, deliciously conspiratorially, true best friend look that she’s been needing to see.

  “First,” Alexis grins, “We’ve got to put it on the vision board!”

  She runs back from her room moments later, carrying a white bulletin board nearly half her size, covered with notes and pictures. Aura had stumbled upon it one night after consuming a healthy amount of sugar-free gummy bears that Monroe had soaked in vodka, and the memories just flooded back to her. She had run her hand over it reverently then, just as she is doing now, The board. The source of everything. The house on the beach, the premiere gowns they’ve worn, even the names and pictures of boys they’ve dated. It’s all there. Put it on the board and it’ll come true.

  Alexis hands her the Post-it and Sharpie like a king would hand his best knight a vorpal sword. Aura takes a deep breath and writes in the most careful font, ‘I will star in The Protectors ‘The Movie’ -Aura,’ and hands it to Alexis before ripping off a few names she no longer wants or can stand on the board.

  “You aren’t putting Jacksen’s name on the board?” Alexis asks incredulously.

  “If it’s truly meant to happen with Jacksen, it will. Just like getting this part will happen if it’s meant to, and I know that it is. This crazy coven family, it inspires me to be myself, not just what everyone thinks I should be. Fantasy, the unexplained, the supernatural… it’s just my thing, Lex, and I’ve waited long enough for it. I’m made for it, because reality is just really overrated.”

  “And next you’ll be telling me that the beautiful men on this show have absolutely nothing to do with why you love it so much?”

  “He’s not just another pretty face, Alexis, you know that. You know him,” she inhales, finally, “Why didn’t you ever introduce us, anyway?”

  “Well, I dunno, I haven’t seen him in years, Aur, and when I did, back then, I mean I know you freaked. But remember? You were head over heels for Whit’s cousin at the time. Ugh. The timing just never worked out. And when you were single, he’d gotten with Yvonne. You do know about Yvonne, don’t you?”

  It seems obvious to Alexis that Aura would know, except for lately Aura doesn’t seem to know anything that’s going on and it’s rather unlike her. Alexis wants to worry about her but has been too busy to let it fully get on her radar.

  “Of course,” Aura nods, lying through her teeth. Please explain, please. Who is Yvonne and GOD! Don’t tell me she’s married to Jacksen.

  “I never thought she, or anyone else for that matter, would be stupid enough to leave Jacksen. I mean, who dumps their hot fiance for some old guy? So he’s a billionaire? Who cares? Not that I have a thing for Jacksen, he’s like a brother, or at least he was when we were acting together, it’s just...”

  “What a slag,” Aura fumes in response. Alexis nods furiously in agreement. “Why didn’t we ever cross paths, at least?”

  “Timing wasn’t right?” Alexis offers again, and then adds slyly, “And, well, you didn’t put it on the board, Aur.”

  Aura’s expression hardens with determination as she realizes her mistake about her previous lame reasoning that what will be will be, and Bam! The Post-it, along with a paper DVD sleeve with Jacksen’s face on it, is suddenly on the board with the fierce stab of a pink thumbtack that she materializes somehow out of nowhere. She then begins to scroll through her phone contact list, searching for the dreaded agent that she considers all but useless, except for maybe when she really, really needs her.

  “Tomorrow, please call her tomorrow! Not right-”

  “Now!” Aura shouts, triumphantly hitting the call button to Agent Death with her delicate pointer finger. Alexis falls back on the bed in defeat, and only perks when she hears the rings going unanswered, relieved that she’ll have to wait till tomorrow morning.

  The next day, Aura charges into Alexis’ room and yanks the curtains open, the room filling with light so bright it matches only her optimism. She pounces on Alexis’ bed excitedly, phone in hand, like a little girl on Christmas morning. Alexis cracks one eye and she considers it good enough, dialing instantly.

  “I’m not even gonna ask why you’re calling this early, on a Saturday. Really Aura? A Protectors movie? I mean, who still watches that show? Don’t you think that’s maybe a step dow-”

  She cuts her off with a furious, “No! Not the movie, not the show either, not a step down. Not for me, Val. God, just because it’s not on The Network doesn’t mean it’s not worth making. I love it, and I’m definitely not the only one. The viewer base was bigger than ever towards the end, even in Season 12! It wasn’t even cancelled, they just felt like a movie would be the next chapter for them. And it’s the next chapter for me, Val, I can feel it. I just need to read for the part of-”

  She covers the receiver with a manicured hand and whispers hysterically to Alexis, “What’s the part, her name?”

  “Oh, um, Bianca?”

  “Bianca!” Aura yells triumphantly into the phone, “Female lead opposite Jacksen Andrews. Gang is on hiatus for months, and it’s either me sitting here doing nothing or doing this movie. I don’t want anything else.” She mentally stomps her foot.

  Val sighs, “Fine, I’ll call them. I just don’t know if it’s the best- Okay, now that’s just bizarre. Isn’t Constellation
Studios producing this thing?”

  After seeing their logo before every episode of the Protectors for years, she safely responds, “Yes, Constellation, of course.”

  “What the hell? They’re calling me now. Call you back.”

  The other end beeps out and she throws her phone down on the bed, squawks, nerves pulsing, and hides under the covers, enveloping Alexis in the process, “They’re calling her? Why? I mean, it could be anything, right?”

  Alexis opens the second eye and grins at her, conspiratorial and sheepish, like she had last night, “It could be anything, but it’s not.” And then she mouths, “It’s on the board!”

  Bzzzz! The phone vibrates and Aura jumps, feet in the air, flinging off the down and linens surrounding. “Yes?” she answers coolly.

  “Well, I don’t think you’re going to believe this, baby, but that was one of the executive producers of the show, uh, movie now? He said their star requested you come in to read. I think it’s a little ballsy… for him to ask, but I mean, that’s what you wanted right?”

  “What? Who? Who asked me to come in?”

  “That Jacksen Andrews, or so I hear. So okay, the part of Bianca. If you insist, they want you there Monday at Constellation to read for it. How is it that you always get your way, Mizz Lidell?”

  Shriek! Phone drops. Feathers fly. Thankfully, Alexis picks it up and starts right where Aura should have left off.

  “They want her in at noon? That’s perfect, yeah can you have them deliver the sides here? Thanks, Val. You’re the best! Kisses!” Click.

  She pokes at Aura and gets nothing. “Are you talking or having one of your catatonic, Cameron at the end of Ferris Bueller moments? Hello? Jacksen, you, reading together. In two days. How stoked are you?”

  It takes Aura the longest time to even speak and when she does all she can muster is a whisper, “Are we magic?”

  Alexis giggles, “Maybe, but I think it’s the board. Now c’mon, let’s go down to the beach. Walk it off, girl!”

  Chapter Ten

  Thanks to Alexis, her Protectors alum guru and goddess, Aura had both sides perfected and memorized before Monday even arrives. Now that it’s here, bright and early Monday morning, Aura’s weekend focus has faded into frazzled fear. She’s pacing in front of her bed, back and forth, wearing nothing but a bra and panties that clearly don’t match, eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s with extra chocolate syrup added for good measure.

  “Food groups, Aur, and also, clothes!” Alexis orders as she enters the room, to which Aura responds with just a shrug.

  “I thought that’s what you two were here for,” she smiles crazily, teeth covered in chocolate, at Alexis and then at Monroe, who follows in after.

  Monroe and Alexis look at each other and then at Aura, who swears it’s the first time these two have ever been in sync, as they say in unison, “Who are you?”

  Her instincts tell her they’re referring to the ice cream, and that it’s just not like her to eat what she wants, when she wants it. She gets thrown a pair of jean cutoffs, standard Monroe attire, and gets the picture as she shimmies into them and they barely zip and don’t button.

  “I don’t think Bianca would wear jean shorts anyway, at least not when she’s hunting witches,” she huffs.

  “Do you need our help, boo? I can clear the house of all the junk, and I’ve got a big shipment of that weight loss tea I’m endorsing coming in this week,” Alexis offers.

  “Or I can help you take up smoking again, princess, that always helps,” Monroe suppresses a laugh.

  “Maybe I don’t wanna sit on the toilet for days or get cancer and die, thanks detox tea and cigarettes. What if I just don’t wanna be on a diet? Is that OKAY with you two?” She knows from the girls’ stories, she was always smoking or dieting. Or dieting and smoking. But they were just band aids, barely holding her together, because there were so many parts of her life she was uncomfortable with, so many parts of herself. She didn’t want to feel that way anymore, or cover up the feelings, hide and pretend, if she did feel them again.

  She kicks the shorts off angrily and pulls the outfit the girls had helped her pick out yesterday on Melrose out of a large shopping bag: black leather skinny pants with a coordinating moto jacket and black, ass-kicking boots.

  “What if I don’t care that these pants are a size up? They make my butt look amazing.” She highlights her point by sticking out her butt and shoving a final giant spoonful of ice cream into her mouth before any ghosts of body-hating past can sink back in.

  “This new Aura sure is a lot lower maintenance,” Alexis laughs, “Can we get you made up now?”

  Aura is sweltering as she opens the door to her beloved convertible, thinking that if she’s stopped in any traffic whatsoever, she’ll spontaneously combust into a pile of hot leather. But I’ve never felt better, sweat be damned, she thinks, and absentmindedly wonders why she hated her body so much before, dreading almost every curve. She’s somehow appreciating herself more now than all the years since she’s been in the business.

  Every inch of her is hugged perfectly in black, except for her tiny HeartAttacks band tee, a bit of nostalgia that always brought her confidence from her days of punk rock girl past. Her hair, lit caramel by the sun, hangs in long waves down to her waist and her thick, dark lashes, applied expertly by Alexis, hooded her eyes and made her feel like she had powerful bat wings to protect her. She feels positively fierce. She doesn’t know if it’s the sugar buzz, the badass outfit and good hair day, or the fact that today is what she’d dreamt about for so long and didn’t even know it, but she is flying high.

  It’s the perfect time of day and she screams down the freeway, hitting the lot with a couple minutes to kill. The heat and the nerves start to creep up her spine and invade her sense of calm so she heads in a few minutes early. She’s ushered in to meet the producers and directors –good thing she’d spent her free time this weekend watching behind the scenes documentaries on the show! Aura knows all of them by face and by name, and makes sure they know, batting her batwing lashes while shaking each man’s hand firmly yet warmly, like they were old friends of her Dad’s or something. They were about that age, and they seem to be loving her to pieces. She starts to fret just a little upon meeting the last exec in the line, the man responsible for all of this.

  “Ron!” She beams, the Protectors creator and frequent director is unbelievably excited to meet her and she is beyond stunned at this fact.

  “Wow, Aura. Honestly, you look like Bianca does in my head!”

  Ron’s compliment flies straight to her brain, sending surging serotonin all throughout her body. She chats with him easily now, and her schmoozing capabilities seem to be at an all time high, loving the attention until, WHAM!

  A bowling ball of emotion hurtles towards her chest and practically knocks her backwards on impact. Standing just feet from her, towering over her with the most adorable lost puppy look that any nearly 6’5” man in his early 30’s could possibly have, is Jameson. Brody. I’m face to face with B- I mean Jameson. God, Rowan would just die. She was always his biggest fan, so why do I feel so torn up now? She looks up at him, and swears from looking in his eyes that he’s feeling the same strange mix of emotions, only she’s the one left not knowing why.

  It somehow feels wrong to reach out her hand and force out the words, “Nice to meet you, Jameson,” but before she can ask herself why the words feel so much like lies in her mouth, the group of men, sans Jameson, guffaw like it was the perfect joke at the perfect moment, while he just stares at her like a deer in headlights.

  Why was that so funny? Why are his eyes so wide? The warm confectionary-covered platonic feelings she’s always felt towards Jameson are wrapped up with such distant feelings of longing and sadness. She tries to reach the reason behind them but is unable to.

  “Meet? Sure,” one producer laughs while the show’s creator Ron chuckles and asks, “You sure you two don’t need some catching up time before we start?”


  Jameson’s giant hand is still enveloping hers, his grey-green-blue, God what color are they? eyes look at her with grace and humility, and he says earnestly, if not thoroughly confused, “It’s so good to see you again, Aura.”

  She swallows hard on what she sincerely hopes isn’t vomit and replies shakily, “Yes, of course. Yeah, you too, Jameson.”

  “So,” Ron continues after his guys have had enough chuckles at honestly Aura has no freakin’ idea what. “I thought we’d have you and Jameson read this scene together before we bring out Jacksen. Thing is, and I’m sure you know this, Aura, is that Brody’s always wanted his brother to find love, find happiness. But when Blaise finds it with a damn witch hunter, of all people? I mean he’s pissed, to say the least.”

  “Absolutely,” she responds, impassioned. “And it’s perfect because Brody just has to find it in himself to accept her or he’d be the ultimate hypocrite, his brother would never allow it. I mean, he fought so hard to get Blaise to accept when he’d fallen in love with that Sith, practically a mortal enemy! And Blaise did try to accept her, until she nearly killed him, so I mean, yeah, pissed. But he’ll get over it. He always does, he just loves his brother too much.” Aura, stop, you’re babbling, stop! She yells at herself, no cranky Inner-Aura needed. She’d gone positively dormant since the whole Liam thing.

  The guys grin at her, eyes gleaming, and respond, “Well, we think you’re ready,” as they hand her and Jameson each sides. He keeps his in hand, and she slyly sets hers down on a nearby chair, unneeded.