The Girl Who Dared to Think 5: The Girl Who Dared to Lead

by Forrest, Bella

  I screamed as the leg holding me up crumpled, and attempted to pull the injured limb to my chest, but as soon as I tried to flex my knee, the pain intensified so much that tears formed in my eyes, purely on reflex. I expected the final blow to come any second, but to my surprise, opening my eyes revealed only the ceiling above me, slightly obscured by the mist.

  Shapes darted over me moments later, leaping across my prone form, and I followed them, realizing it was a pair of Knights chasing after the man. I struggled to push myself up, but my knee was not having it, and I bit back a cry of frustration.

  “DO NOT LET THEM ESCAPE!” I shouted after them, pissed off that I couldn’t pursue. I struggled to a sitting position, and then hands were there, helping me.

  “Liana?” a feminine voice said, and I twisted around to see Dylan Chase staring at me, her eyes wide. “Are you okay?”

  Alarm immediately coursed through me. What was she doing down here? Was she with them? I’d had my suspicions about Dylan since she had technically won the Tourney, having actually completed the challenge, and had wondered if she was the candidate the legacies had been supporting.

  It was possible she wasn’t, and had simply been better than their candidate, but I couldn’t know for certain.

  Well, I guessed I could, depending on how she handled this exchange. But then again, that wasn’t an indication of anything; she could still be pissy over the results of the Tourney. She may have won, but the Knights had voted for me anyway, and the last I had seen her, she had not been happy about it. Now I was down, my leg broken or worse—it felt like it had been ripped off below the knee—and vulnerable. Was she going to finish me off? Was she working with my enemies?

  Her eyes raked over me and settled on where I was gripping my thigh just over my knee. She immediately pressed her hands there, right into the joint, and I hissed, fighting the urge to slap her hand away.

  “It’s dislocated,” she said with a scowl, removing her fingers a second later. “I can pop it back in for you now, or we can call the Medics.”

  I stared at her for a second, suspicious. “Why are you down here?” I asked. Was it planned, or just coincidental?

  Dylan wrinkled her nose in confusion and then raised a wry eyebrow. “I’m on patrol duty in Water Treatment with my squad. We were doing our rounds when your call came in. What happened?”

  I considered her for a second and then nodded toward my knee, giving her permission. I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting. If she was with the legacies, her answer would be the same. Still, I wanted to believe her. It would be so nice to take someone off my potential enemy list for once.

  “This is gonna suck for a second,” she said, her eyes flicking to mine and filling with sympathy. “Grab on to something.”

  I looked around, reached out, and grabbed the handrail, pulling myself back and ignoring the feeling that my shin and foot were only along for the ride because they were held there by my skin. I pressed my back against the lowest rung and rested my arms on it, fisting my hands around the cold metal.

  I took a moment to collect myself, and then nodded at her. “Do it.”

  With a steady move, she grabbed my shin, twisted it slightly, and then pushed. My knee popped back into place with an excruciating burst of pain, and then it instantly lifted, making me feel I could breathe again.

  I sagged back, sweaty, and looked at her. “Thanks,” I offered tentatively.

  “No problem,” she said, standing up from her squat and offering me a hand. I took it, allowing her to help me up. It was awkward—I was favoring my newly reconnected joint and limped a lot, too afraid to put any weight on it—but she didn’t complain. “So what happened?”

  “Grey and I were jumped,” I told her. “They hit him from behind and surrounded me.”

  “What department were they from?” she asked sharply.

  “I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “They weren’t wearing department uniforms. Get after them. I’ll get Grey out of here.”

  “Medics are on the way, ma’am,” a male voice said from my left, and I looked over to see another Knight kneeling over Leo, checking him over. “Farmless is still unconscious. He isn’t going anywhere.”

  That wasn’t good. If the Medics got here and started scanning him, they might notice the special net he was using. I couldn’t let that happen, as it would raise too many questions and draw way too much attention. I wasn’t going to risk Leo like that.

  “Do you have salts?” I asked him sharply.

  “I do,” Dylan said, reaching into one of her pockets and pulling out a long plastic tube. I took it from her, hobbled over to Leo, and handed the salts to the Knight. He quickly snapped them open and waved them under Leo’s nose, releasing the ammonia smell.

  Leo came awake with a start, looking around. “What happened?” he demanded. His eyes settled on me, and his brows drew together. “Liana, you’re bleeding.”

  Confusion hit me, until I remembered my ear and the sharp pain I had felt there. My hand went up, searching for the wound. The entire edge of my ear was wet with blood, but I found the spot easily enough, as it was the only part that hurt. I felt the edges and realized he had sliced right through a portion of the lobe, splitting it into two still-connected pieces. It hurt and was bleeding a lot, but it wasn’t life threatening. A little bit of pink goop would fix it right up, and I could use some of the specialized cast material on my knee to help speed any healing that needed to be done on the strained ligaments.

  “I’m fine,” I said. “You were jumped from behind and there was a bit of a fight, but we’re safe now. Well, safer. We need to get out of here and let Dylan do her job.”

  “Especially if they were trying to assassinate you,” Dylan said sharply. “You should wait for an escort back to the Citadel.”

  “We’ll be fine,” I insisted, knowing that we needed every person looking for them. “Get after your Knights. They’ve already been gone too long, and I don’t want those people getting away. And coordinate with the other Commanders to see if we can track them down.”

  She hesitated, indecision warring in her eyes, and then nodded, placing a fist over her chest. “As you command, Champion.”

  She waved her hand to her companion, and the two of them took off in the direction her Knights had gone. I looked at Leo, who was pressing his fingertips gingerly to the back of his head and wincing.

  “So how was your first kiss?” I asked, unable to help myself.

  He looked up at me, and then at the hydro-turbine, a considering look on his face. “Well, right up until I went unconscious, it was perfect,” he replied dryly, slowly picking himself off the ground. “I wouldn’t mind a second round. Just maybe… not while everything’s so blurry.”

  He listed to one side, and I immediately moved to support him. “Easy,” I said, ignoring the ache in my knee. “Just help me get to the elevator, and you can take a little break.”

  In response, his arm slid around my waist. “It would be my pleasure,” he rumbled huskily, and I closed my eyes at the shivers the sound caused to dance along my spine.

  That was… not the response that I wanted to have, but apparently it didn’t matter what I wanted. My body was making all sorts of decisions for me.

  After a moment’s consideration, I decided to ignore it. I was too tired to pick up that line of thought, and too injured to want to talk about that kiss right now. Besides, Dylan was right—if this was an assassination attempt, then it was dangerous to be out in the open without any backup.

  Which meant getting out of here was our top priority.

  “Let’s go,” I said, and began hobbling down the catwalk as quickly as possible.

  15

  I watched the numbers pass by as the elevator headed up to the entrance between the thirty-first and thirty-second floors. Leo and I were leaning heavily on each other, and though I had tried to keep as much weight off my knee as possible during the journey back to the Citadel, it was throbbing, and felt li
ke someone had stuffed a cantaloupe into it.

  “You know, we still need to talk about the Jang-Mi thing,” Leo said idly, and I rotated my neck to look up at him.

  “You want to do this now?” I asked tiredly. He gave a half chuckle and then winced, and sympathy tugged at my heart. His head must’ve been hurting just as much as my knee—more, even, considering it was his head. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” he said, smiling at me. “It’s nice that you’re concerned for me. My kissing skills must be better than I had imagined.”

  I blushed, mortified, and looked away from him. A part of me wanted to chide him for teasing me about this, but another part of me was strangely pleased. This felt comfortable. Natural. It was weird, but somehow, I felt a little calmer with him around. Safer, even—although that was weird, considering I’d had to save him.

  “I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” he said, reaching up with his free hand to catch my chin and forcing me to look at him. I resisted for a second, and then slowly gave in, my eyes sweeping up to meet his gaze. “And I’m sorry if the kiss was too forward. I was just so afraid that you were right, and that somehow Grey was hijacking my emotions. I wanted… I wanted what I felt to be real.”

  I softened, relaxing my chin into his hand. “Leo…” I said, my heart aching. I stopped myself from saying anything more, suddenly nervous about what I was going to say. I had already acknowledged that something had shifted between us, but I was frightened of it. Terrified of what it might mean for me, for him, and for Grey.

  Grey.

  It had been so long since I’d seen him, since I’d had the chance to interact with him. I missed him, but if felt like it was fading, day by day. Each day Leo was in Grey’s body was another day that I came to associate that face with Leo’s personality. It was like Grey himself was slowly being erased, the lines of him becoming blurred in my mind… and indiscernible from Leo.

  And that was a betrayal. Leo was helping Grey, trying to bring his memories and personality back by rebuilding the connections to them one by one. Both of them had clear and distinctive characteristics that made them unique. I was attracted to Grey, not Leo.

  So why had I melted into him on the catwalk? If they were separate, why did I feel safe around him, even knowing he was Leo and not Grey? I responded to him whenever he came into a room, focusing on him whether I meant to or not. I was always aware of his presence when he was near.

  It wasn’t just physical, either. Grey was many of the things that Leo struggled with—cocky, outgoing, and an outrageous flirt. But then again, Leo was many of the things that Grey just… wasn’t, too. He wasn’t afraid to use his lashes, for one thing. For another…

  It frightened me a little to admit that Leo’s fighting ability had also become a source of comfort for me. I felt safer around him knowing that should a fight break out, I could rely on him to watch my back. Granted, Grey and I had only really gotten to fight together a few times…

  But that was beginning to be the point, I realized. I had so few memories with Grey, and so many more with Leo! It wasn’t fair, but maybe… maybe my attraction to Leo wasn’t just due to him being in Grey’s body.

  I couldn’t decide how that revelation made me feel. Suddenly I was reexamining every moment between us, trying to figure out what was behind my behavior toward him. I wanted to find some fault in the idea—a scrap of evidence that defied the very idea that I was attracted to Leo—but deep inside, I was beginning to suspect that I wouldn’t. Because if I wasn’t attracted to him, why would I keep letting these things happen instead of shutting them down?

  I could argue that I didn’t want to hurt Leo by pushing him off, but it wasn’t like me to be indirect about those sorts of things. Leo was my friend, and I didn’t want to hurt him more by letting him believe there was hope.

  Which meant there was hope for him. In the form of me, suddenly realizing that I may have actually been in denial about having feelings for him.

  “As much as I like the amount of thinking you’re doing about us,” Leo said lightly, interrupting my train of thought, “it’s starting to make me nervous.”

  I looked up at him, feeling exceptionally nervous as well. “I…” I pressed my lips together. I was trying to work through the whole idea that I might be in denial—and I had to take a moment to process that for myself before I could say anything.

  Besides, this was all off topic. I hadn’t started this conversation with Leo expecting to discover my own feelings toward him. I had done it to help him find out if he was being influenced by Grey’s own feelings. Only, now… now I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know if it was Grey bleeding through.

  If it was… I’d be so crushed. If I discovered I had feelings for Leo only to then learn that Grey was underneath Leo’s side of things, I’d not only have betrayed Grey, but I would’ve done it all for nothing! I’d be alone, and deservedly so, having basically cheated on one man who cared about me with another who was inhabiting his body! It made me sick to think about.

  Which I only imagined would be how Grey would feel when he found out.

  There was something about that thought that gave me pause, and then my stomach dropped out from under me as a disturbing second thought occurred to me. I’d been so concerned about trying to discern whether Leo’s feelings for me were his, I hadn’t stopped to wonder if Leo was having some sort of effect on Grey at the same time. That question, more than any other, seemed the most important one to ask.

  “If your feelings are coming from Grey,” I said carefully, giving him a placating look when his face hardened, “then is there a chance that you might be affecting him in some way? Is Grey… Is Grey okay?”

  Leo’s face remained rigid for a heartbeat or two after I finished my question, and then he sighed, relaxing some. “I honestly don’t know,” he replied. “It’s why I keep asking about Jang-Mi. I know we can use her to get into Sadie’s terminal and rescue Jasper.”

  I frowned, trying to track his logic. “What does Jasper have to do with Grey?”

  “There’s a reason you found him in the Medica. Jasper can tell me definitively if there is any bleed-through of our personalities occurring, and help me figure out a way to fix it. His AI was based on Samantha Reed, the first head of the Medica. He’s got a lot of medical knowledge, and he’ll know what to do. But I can’t get there without Jang-Mi.”

  I considered his words carefully. His insistence on using Jang-Mi to retrieve Jasper faster suddenly made all the more sense. He wanted Jasper’s help to figure out whether Grey was influencing him or changing him, or vice versa. No doubt he worried what that could mean for his purpose as an AI; if Scipio died before we could repair him, then Leo was the only one who could possibly save the day—but only if he remained the way he was. If Grey was changing him, the future of the Tower could be in jeopardy.

  But that was only if there was some sort of transference occurring between the two. There was a chance that nothing was wrong with Leo or Grey, and that I’d just happened to find two beings who shared the same body and taste in women. But if there was a transference going on, then we needed to know, just in case it was damaging them in some way.

  Yet I still wasn’t sure I could accept that Jang-Mi was the best answer. She wasn’t stable—how could we trust that she could accomplish it? Breaking in was more dangerous, sure, but at least I’d be doing it with people I could rely on and trust. Maybe it was emotional, but I couldn’t seem to let it go.

  “Look, I know you want to find some way to interface with Jang-Mi, and not just for Jasper’s sake, and I’m fine with that. You and Quess can build her a terminal with an interface. I’m fine with that, too. But putting her in the terminal that controls the defenses is a bad idea, Leo. And besides, we don’t necessarily need her. We could physically break into Sadie’s quarters and steal him.”

  He gave me a disbelieving look. “That is too risky, and you know it. And if you are right and Grey is… changing me, then I need Jasper’s
help sooner rather than later. Finding a way in takes time, but with Jang-Mi, it’ll be over quickly, and none of our lives will have been at risk! I can keep her away from the defenses, Liana. You have to trust me. Please.”

  I stared at him for a long moment, studying his expression. He seemed so confident and earnest, but I wasn’t certain. I didn’t know what would happen if Leo plugged her in and I could actually… talk to her. Scream at her. Tell her what I thought of her.

  But we needed Jasper more. And I needed to remember that.

  I swallowed, and decided to give voice to my fears. “Leo, I may not be able to contain my anger toward her,” I admitted roughly. “If she talks… I might just smash the entire terminal to pieces.”

  His brows drew together, sympathy pouring out of him. “I promise you, Liana, that I won’t let you do that. I know you don’t actually want Jang-Mi dead, but I understand your feelings. Just… keep your hand in mine, and I will hold you back, okay?”

  He slid his hand from around my waist so he could hold it out to me, palm up and fingers splayed wide. I stared at it, and then looked back up to him. I knew it was a simple thing, holding his hand, but something told me that doing so would continue to shift things between us. If I took it, I was giving him my trust in the most intimate of ways. I was letting him in, to help guide me through an aspect of my grief that I had kept private from everyone else.

  I hesitated for a moment or two more, and then decided to give in. I had already acknowledged that I couldn’t hold on to this anger at Jang-Mi forever, but had failed to put an end to it. Maybe Leo being there would help—and it certainly couldn’t hurt. I could figure out the sordid stuff later. Helping him get Jasper was now a priority. For his sake as well as Grey’s.