The Baby Agenda

by Janice Kay Johnson

  She must be enormous. Everyone who set eyes on her thought she should be ready to go into labor. “Not as soon as I look,” Moira said. “My doctor wondered earlier on about twins, but my husband was a big baby and she thinks this one is going to be good-sized too.”

  The instructor’s assessment was practiced. “You may not make it full-term. Well.” She smiled at Moira then at Will, who stood behind her. “Welcome. Why don’t you take a seat on one of the mats?”

  Moira glanced around. There were six other couples and one very pregnant woman whose labor coach was likely her mother, given the resemblance between the two women. Will stood over Moira while she clumsily got to her hands and knees then sat with a groan.

  “I feel like a…a hippopotamus,” she mumbled to Will.

  She loved his smile.

  “They’re actually graceful in water, you know,” he told her. “It’s when they lumber out of the water that they, uh…”

  “Resemble me?”

  His laugh was a low, husky rumble. “Something like that.”

  He sat behind her, spread his legs to each side of her and said, “Lean back against me.”

  With a sigh, she did. In theory, she still had a month to go, which made her wonder if she’d be able to get out of a chair by the last week. She was more grateful than she wanted to admit for Will’s frequent helping hand. In fact, she was beginning to wonder how she’d have managed at all without him. And that made her uneasy. When was the last time she’d actually needed someone?

  The class started off with breathing exercises. Moira felt silly lying on the mat panting and blowing, but the other women were doing it and Will had listened to the explanation with a seriousness that Moira found touching. Not that she would have expected anything different. He wouldn’t be here with her if he didn’t take all his responsibilities seriously.

  And clearly, she was number one these days.

  Kneeling beside her, he counted for her until the instructor had the women roll onto their sides.

  “Coaches, now we’re going to practice massage techniques. Touch is important at keeping your partner relaxed. Some women feel their contractions in their lower backs. Others gather tension in their necks or between their shoulder blades. They might suffer from cramps in their calves. You’ll learn to feel when the muscles knot and take advantage of the breaks between contractions.”

  She walked around the room, pausing to give suggestions. Moira had been embarrassed at the idea of Will giving her a back massage, but, honestly, it felt so good from the minute he laid his big hands on her shoulders that she only closed her eyes and sank into bliss.

  He seemed to know how much pressure to bring to bear, working his way from her shoulders down her spine to her incessantly aching lower back.

  “We’ll do this at home, too,” he murmured, kneading more firmly down there.

  Moira couldn’t help letting a groan escape her.

  His hands momentarily went still. “Did I hurt you?”

  “No. It felt really good,” she admitted.

  “Ah.” After a noticeable pause, he resumed the massage.

  The instructor stopped, watched for a moment and said, “Excellent.”

  She had already set up a projector, and she gave them the option of sitting on folding chairs or staying on their mats to watch a short film on the progression of labor. Will looked at Moira, and when she said, “I’m so relaxed now I don’t think I can get up,” he smiled, helped her sit up and drew her back to lean against him again.

  At first she had trouble concentrating on the film. With the lights dimmed, she was even more conscious of being wrapped in his embrace. He held her so securely, one hand splayed on her belly. The baby must like the feeling of his hand there, because he got active. After feeling the movement, Will chuckled quietly and began to rub her stomach. The gentle motion of his hand was astonishingly seductive.

  But the film got more and more explicit. Moira found herself tensing up and gaping. When the credits rolled, she whispered, “Oh, my God.”

  “That was supposed to reassure us?” he said.

  “I guess we’re supposed to go into this knowing what to expect.”

  “I’d rather not, thanks.”

  His obvious shock lessened hers to the point where she could laugh. “Too late.”

  Will gave her a dark look, then hoisted her to her feet. Moira staggered on legs that felt as if they’d gone to sleep, and tipped against him. Once again, he enfolded her in his arms as if that’s where she belonged.

  Increasingly, she wished that was true. Wished they hadn’t gotten married only because they’d accidentally made a baby together.

  But it could be more. Couldn’t it? Will had thrown himself wholeheartedly into the marriage as well as into impending fatherhood. If she did the same, they might make something of this. Maybe their marriage would never be the love match Charlotte and Gray had, but they could be happy. Moira wanted to believe it was possible.

  They were both quiet walking out to the car. They were halfway home when Will said thoughtfully, “Do you suppose the baby will come early?”

  “Dr. Engel didn’t say anything.”

  “No.” He’d accompanied her to her appointment today.

  “I just can’t imagine you, a month from now…”

  She couldn’t, either. “If I’m a hippopotamus now, what will I be then?”

  He chuckled and reached out to take her hand. “To tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking pygmy goat.”

  Moira faked indignation. “Wow, that’s flattering!”

  Will laughed again. “I happen to think they’re cute.”

  When he said things like that, she got this warm flutter inside. She hoped, so much, that he meant it. If he really did like her, if he really was attracted to her, then maybe there was hope.

  He was going to work with her tomorrow, as she had a couple of construction sites to visit. Both were on flat ground and were nearby, but he had insisted anyway, and Moira wasn’t going to argue. His presence was reassuring in a way she didn’t want to examine too closely. On the way into the house, they talked about her schedule. Then she said, “I think I’m going straight to bed.”

  Will nodded. “I’ll probably read for a while.”

  The most awkward part of this whole marriage business was saying good-night. Tonight was no different. She wondered if he ever thought about kissing her. She knew that he always had the same expression on his face when he watched her turn to go down the hall, or when they parted outside their bedroom doors. It was…pensive. He was thinking really hard about something. He always stood where he was until she went into her room. A couple of times this week, she’d glanced back, to find his eyes on her.

  Tonight she couldn’t resist. One hand on the doorknob, she looked back. He was standing by the kitchen, one shoulder propped against the wall, his hands in his pockets. When their gazes met, Will didn’t move, not a muscle, but although he gave the impression of being relaxed she somehow knew he wasn’t at all. She’d have sworn his eyes had darkened. The air between them all but shimmered with tension. Moira found she was breathing hard when she slipped inside her room and closed the door behind her.

  Maybe a man could lust after a very pregnant woman.

  Or maybe she only wished Will could. Was.

  It took her longer than usual to fall asleep. She kept listening for his footsteps or the bathroom door opening or closing and not hearing either. The baby decided this was an excellent time for some gymnastics.

  She hadn’t looked at the clock and didn’t know how long it was before she had to go to the bathroom again. A half hour at least. She was getting back into bed when she finally heard Will’s footsteps in the hall.

  Sleep kept eluding her. Fifteen minutes later, sighing, she got up again. She hadn’t had anything to drink all evening. She couldn’t possibly have to pee again! But once she started thinking maybe she did, she couldn’t get the idea out of her mind until she gave up and w
ent to the bathroom.

  As she was pulling up her nightgown, she thought she felt a damp spot in back. Alarm quickened in her. That was bizarre. She couldn’t have wet herself in bed without realizing it, could she?

  But she felt dampness between her legs, too. Really scared now, she sank down on the toilet and looked down at herself. Blood streaked her thighs.

  CHAPTER TEN

  WILL HAD JUST TURNED OUT his bedside lamp when he heard the soft snick of Moira’s bedroom door opening. He didn’t like it that she closed it at all; he had been leaving his open at night in case she ever called out for him. He lay rigid, waiting. She might be going to the kitchen, she might not need him at all….

  “Will?”

  He sat up and reached for the lamp. “Moira? What’s wrong?”

  The light came on, and he saw that she had taken only a couple of steps into his room. A long flannel nightgown enveloped her from neck to ankle. But it was her face he focused on, and the fear he saw.

  “Will, I’m bleeding.” Her voice was tremulous. “I think…I think I’d better go to the emergency room.”

  “God.” He surged from bed and crossed the room to her. “Should I call 911?”

  She bit her lip. “No, it’s not that heavy. It’s just…well, not quite spotting, a little more than that, but…” She drew a shuddery breath. “I don’t think I should be bleeding at all.”

  Will gripped her upper arms and squeezed. “Even if they have to do a C-section right now, the baby should be mature enough to survive.” He sounded one hell of a lot calmer than he felt. “Let’s get to the hospital, okay?”

  “Okay. Um…let me get dressed.”

  “I’ll help. No. Hell. Let me throw on some clothes first.” He’d worn only pajama bottoms to bed. “Go lie down.”

  Moira nodded and disappeared, ghostlike, from his room.

  He’d never gotten dressed so fast. Will didn’t bother with socks, simply shoved his feet into his running shoes. Then he went to her room. She’d actually curled up on the bed rather than ignore him and dress herself.

  “All right. Tell me what you need.”

  “I already put on panties. A top and bottoms. There are some in the closet.”

  He grabbed the first ones his hands touched. Gently he helped her struggle out of her gown. Trying not to focus on her naked breasts, larger than they’d been, he tugged a knit shirt over her head then helped her slide on loose pants.

  Moira insisted on walking, and he let her, although he kept an arm around her the whole way. Outside was cold, frost sparkling on the grass beneath the streetlight. Despite her parka, Moira shivered as he backed the pickup out of the driveway.

  Will broke speed limits all the way to the hospital. She sat silent and tense beside him. Not until he braked in front of the brightly lit emergency entrance to the hospital did she say very softly, “I’m scared, Will.”

  “Oh, sweetheart.” He hugged her, quick. “Let’s not worry too much until we know there’s reason to. Okay?”

  She pressed her lips together and nodded, but her eyes were huge, her gaze clinging to his.

  A couple of people in scrubs had come out, and within moments had her in a wheelchair. He had to park the pickup before he could sprint in.

  The next two hours were hellish, even though the emergency-room doctor found the baby’s heartbeat immediately. The doc seemed okay, although he was younger than Will liked. He had a million questions. How much bleeding? When did it start? What color was the blood? Was she cramping? Had she had sexual intercourse this evening?

  Moira flushed at that question and cast Will an agonized look before shaking her head.

  Had she fallen? When had she last seen her doctor?

  It seemed to Will that the level of tension in the room dropped noticeably after Moira told them that she’d seen her doctor today and that yes, she’d had a pelvic exam.

  Nonetheless, they took her away for an ultrasound, and when they brought her back he still wasn’t allowed into the curtained exam cubicle because now the doctor was doing yet another pelvic exam and cervical culture. Will hated like hell that he was out here and she was alone with her fear, staring at the ceiling while some strange doctor had his hand inside her.

  Sitting in a plastic chair in the hall, Will prayed as he hadn’t in years. Amazing how much more faith a man wanted to have at a moment like this. He’d read about some of the things that could go wrong in late-term pregnancy, including placental abruption, when the placenta separated from the uterine wall. If she started to hemorrhage, it could kill her as well as the baby.

  Will groaned. He rubbed the back of his neck, wishing he hadn’t educated himself, that he didn’t know how serious the trouble Moira might be in. “Mr. Becker?”

  He looked up to see the green-garbed nurse, who said, “You can come in.”

  Will followed her through the gap in the curtains, his broad shoulders causing them to rattle on their rings. Lying on the narrow bed, Moira was covered now by a white blanket. The nurse had been bringing her warmed ones because Moira kept shivering as if she were cold. Cold, or in shock.

  The moment he stepped into the cubicle, her eyes fastened desperately onto his face. A lump in his throat, he went to her side and took her hand in his, then looked at the doctor.

  “At this point,” the doctor said straight-out, “I’m not very concerned. The bleeding was minor, and it seems to have stopped. The fetus shows no signs of distress. I think this was likely triggered by the exam Mrs. Becker had earlier today. Minor instances of bleeding are most often associated with a pelvic exam or sexual intercourse. I have some question about the possibility of placenta previa—which means that the placenta is implanted over or near the opening to the birth canal. If it’s the case at all, however, my guess is that it’s resolving itself, as most often happens. Your doctor will want to keep an eye on it, however. And I’m sure it goes without saying that you need to let her know about any further bleeding.”

  Moira nodded. She looked drained, almost numb.

  “I would certainly speak to Dr. Engel before you consider resuming sexual intercourse—”

  “Fine,” Will interrupted. “Should Moira be on her feet at all?”

  “Assuming there are no further episodes of spotting, I see no reason she can’t resume normal activity. No dancing.” He chuckled, uttered a few pleasantries and went away.

  Will breathed an almost-silent profanity and sank onto the chair beside the bed. “Damn. Does that mean we can go home?”

  “I think so.” Moira sounded uncertain. “I guess you were right that I panicked unnecessarily.”

  “You weren’t the only one panicking,” Will admitted.

  “I just tried to hide it.”

  Her smile trembled, but it was a smile. “I’d never have known. You’re always so…steady.”

  “Practice,” he told her. “Clay mostly avoided hurting himself, but I had to rush Jack and Sophie to Emergency way too often. You get inured.” Which was a lie. Yes, he’d gotten so he barely rolled his eyes at a broken finger or even a broken arm—Sophie in particular had been an adventurer. But tonight, he’d been more scared than he could remember being in years. At least.

  The nurse came in with discharge papers, and Will went to get the truck. They wheeled Moira out, helped her in, and not many minutes later he pulled into the driveway at home once again.

  “Wow.” Moira fumbled to unbuckle the seat belt. “I think I’ll reschedule the stuff I was supposed to do tomorrow.” She focused on the dashboard clock. “Not tomorrow. Today.”

  “How about you sleep in? Maybe even take the day off.”

  She must be shaken, because she nodded. “I think maybe I will. I’ll set the alarm and call Gray—”

  “I’ll do it.” When she opened her door, he said, “Wait until I get around there.”

  Wonder of wonders, she was docile again, waiting for his hand to take hers. She climbed the few steps to the front porch slowly, leaning a little as s
he went. When he helped her out of her coat right inside the front door, Will couldn’t help thinking about how fragile she was. Generous curves or no, her bones were almost delicate. With the bulk of her pregnancy, it was easy to forget that. “Let’s see if I need to change any of your bedding,” he said.

  She went to the bathroom while he checked and found that her nightgown had apparently soaked up any blood and the sheet was fine. He pulled open drawers in her dresser until he found a clean nightgown. When she came back, she didn’t argue when he reached for the hem of her top and drew it over her head. Moira did cover her breasts protectively, though. Again he tried not to look, but couldn’t help himself. God help him. She had the most beautiful breasts he’d ever seen, ripe and full, creamy skin dusted with freckles paler than the ones on her face and shoulders. He regretted letting the gown drop to cover her body.

  When he eased her back on the pillows, Moira said, “I’m not helpless.”

  “Tonight, let’s pretend you are. For my sake.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes very green, and finally gave one small nod.

  Bracing himself for argument, he said, “I’m going to sleep with you. I want to be right here, and know you’re okay.”

  Her lips parted, then, after a perceptible pause, closed. She swallowed. “All right.”

  “Give me a minute to get undressed.”

  Will went back to his room and shed his clothes as quickly as he’d put them on. He thought about leaving on the T-shirt but decided not to. He’d always worn pajama bottoms because he’d had to get up often enough during the night with one of his brothers or his sister. That was as far as he was willing to go.

  Moira watched warily when he returned to her room. He was grateful she had a queen-size bed, at least. They’d want a king-size eventually, he thought, but this would do for now. He slipped in on the far side from her, then rolled toward her.

  “Do you sleep on your back?”

  She shot him a glance that made him think of a spooked horse. “No. I was, um, waiting to turn out the light.”

  “Okay,” he said agreeably.