Heaven Sent

by Mahalia Levey

  “Such deep thoughts for a young woman. Don’t worry a thing about me, baby. I’ll be fine. You still have two years of high school left. Those boys will catch up as they grow older. Take your time dating and getting serious until then.”

  “He made you laugh, Mom. He put the smile Daddy used to give you back on your face. I miss laughter and fun. I’m not saying we don’t have fun but you haven’t laughed the way you did for Dire in such a long time, I thought maybe you forgot.”

  “Forgot what…to laugh?”

  “No Mom. To enjoy living.”

  Mia sucked in a breath. When did my baby grow up without me seeing her turn into an extraordinary young lady? Her throat clogged up tight, seized, and moisture pooled in her eyes. Deep inside, she believed the wreck happened for a reason, a wake up call telling her to return to the land of the living instead of just existing.

  “You are—” Her voice choked off as her shoulders began to quake.

  “I love you too.” Ashland curled into her. “I have something else to talk to you about but you can’t get mad.”

  “Hmm. Go for it.”

  “Promise?”

  She knew better than to fall for that and end up lying. But nodded in agreement to listen.

  “Grandma is a total piece of work, but she’s my total piece of work, like you’re my mama. I’m not twelve years old anymore, so Grandma has no power to steal me from you. Please put her number in your phone. She’s still family. My family and she was so scared that she lost us, Mom, me and you, although she won’t admit it. I think cares about you but just doesn’t know how to show love. Grandpa too. Daddy kept his distance from them for so long. I don’t blame her for wanting us around so badly she went about it the wrong way. Old people are kinda stuck in their ways, and I’ve kinda been seeing them and keeping in contact.”

  Mia sighed, as resignation set in.

  “Are you mad?”

  “No. You’re right. I should’ve had her number in there to call.” She turned onto her side to face her baby. “I’m sorry you felt the need to hide something like that from me.”

  “Good because I’m going to spend the rest of break with them. After we do our Christmas, we’re going to go skiing at their lodge. Which is fantabulous since I get to see some of my friends who are there vacationing too.”

  “Are you sure skiing is such a good idea? We were just in a wreck.” With the excitement lacing Ashland’s voice, Mia didn’t want to be a bubble burster. A holiday away with Maryellen and her friends sounded like the perfect distraction for her daughter though. She hadn’t been to the lodge in years, couldn’t face going there alone without Connor.

  “Yeah. I just got a little scratched up but if it makes you feel better, I can see how I feel after getting there. There’s more than skiing to do.”

  “Why are you so wound up to go? You’re not telling me everything.”

  “I’m just happy to get to hangout with my friends from school and from grandma’s neighborhood. It’ll be really nice.”

  “Hmm. Who’s going from here?” She wiggled her toes and fluffed the pillow under her achy neck.

  “Rhiana, Miranda, Jason, Rylan.”

  Ashland spoke the second names so fast she almost didn’t hear the sneaky tone.

  “Rylan the QB?”

  “He’s really fun Mom and hilarious. When he’s not around that pack of hyenas of his, he’s totally different. It’s kinda nice to see the real him…you know?”

  Mia counted on her fingers. “So that’s two girls and two boys, who’s the third?” Mia wasn’t born yesterday. “Three’s a crowd.”

  “Rex. But he’s not from here, he’s from Palisades South Prep. I met him when I was at a fundraiser with Grandma.”

  There was a change in dynamic somewhere that she noted. “Rex and Rylan. Do you think it’s really fair to have two boys who like you at the same place?”

  “Well, it’s not like I’m dating either one of them. Rex didn’t decide to go until he found out Rylan was going on my Cheerboard page. Besides, Rylan sent us flowers and Rex hasn’t yet. So as far as I’m concerned Rex is out, but I really want to see him though, since it’s been like a year. I could always hook him up with Miranda or Rhiana.” Ashland shrugged.

  “As long as you’re honest with both of them I don’t see a problem with having a good time with friends. Just remember to be careful with other people’s emotions. Are you still honoring the commitment ring your daddy gave you?”

  “Yes, Mom with no plans to break it. My ring was one of the last presents from Daddy. I don’t want to let him down.” She detected a bit of attitude for asking the question.

  “Good, but if you find yourself teetering on the line and are unsure what to do, tell me and we can figure everything out together. I’m going to take a shower, why don’t you head on over to your bed so I can stretch out when I’m done. My neck is hurting.”

  “Kay.” Ash ambled off the bed and padded over to the curtain, disappearing behind it. Her head peeked back over. “Mom.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’d have wanted to be alone to ogle him too. Well—not him—but when Rylan’s asleep on the team bus I could totally just watch him sleep for hours.” She popped in her headphones and disappeared again.

  “Overshare,” Mia muttered, hazarding a glance toward Dire. Satisfied that he slumbered through the girl talk moment, she put her feet on the ice cold tiled floor, wishing she had flip-flops. She stood up and unhooked her IV bag from the rolling stand with one hand and grasped the back of her hospital gown with the other. Cool air hit her barely covered skin giving her the chills. Shivers raced across her body until she stepped again and agony set in. Mia took a breath. The movement jarred the pain in her neck and back. In what felt like forever and a day instead of the two minutes, she made it into the tiny bathroom.

  “Why are you out of bed?” Dire’s sleep hazed voice washed over her from outside the bathroom door.

  “I needed to take care of some things.” Mia rested the majority of her body weight against the porcelain sink and took a deep breath. Her brow glistened with sweat beads.

  “You forgot to ring for assistance.” Did he yawn while speaking? Curiosity got the better of her. She pressed the door open enough to see his face.

  “I’m not used to asking for help to pee. I really don’t think anyone can do that for me either. Would you have peed for me?”

  “That may be a problem.” He raked a hand over his tousled hair making her instantly jealous of his hands. Gah, now how would she pee or take a shower with him so close in hearing distance.

  “I can’t go with you right here.”

  Dire chuckled and pulled the door closed. The wood creaked against his weight. She imagined he stood arms crossed, back to the door leaning on it. Why did she feel like a sneak for wanting a shower with him in all his glorious nudity?

  “Get in the shower, Mia, before you pass out from pain. I’d hate to have to come in and rescue you from drowning.” Fink must’ve been awake. She wondered how much he’d heard.

  Mia stripped the gown off and turned on the showerhead. While the water warmed, she took care of business, washed her hands, and then climbed into the tiny stall. Getting clean without soaking her head took skill. She turned around to wash the majority of her hair, soaped and lathered up, singing in her head to avoid thinking of ways he’d need to come in and save her. Each stroke of the washcloth over her body hurt. The hot water on her back gave her tortured muscles relief. If she could she’d have stayed until she pruned up. Instead she decided not to make a good thing go disastrous and rinsed off.

  Hospital towels sucked. Drying off with the rough fabric felt like she was peeling off a new layer of skin from her body. In a drawer she found additional gowns and quickly donned two, making sure to cover all her parts. When she opened the door to step out Dire closed the distance to help her. “Hey.”

  “Feel better?”

  “Yes and no.” Dire picked her up as if s
he weighed nothing. Settling her head on his shoulder, she leaned into his body heat as he brought her back to the bed. In over four years, this was the first physical contact she’d had with a man. She breathed in his masculine scent, and melted into his more than capable hands. “Did you make my bed?”

  “Umhm thought you’d like fresh sheets.” He held her easily with one hand while folding back the sheet and hospital blanket. Gingerly, he set her down and swooped her feet up to tuck her in.

  “I didn’t say goodnight to Ash.” She wriggled into the crisp sheets and sighed heavenly. “They brought in warmed blankets.”

  “Your daughter is out cold. I asked the nurse to bring in heated bedding for you. How is your head? The bandage doesn’t appear too wet. Gotta love waterproof gauze. Yeah, should hold ‘til the morning.” He pressed his fingertip against her brow and swiped a tendril of her hair to the side. Mia gravitated to his touch.

  “I’m good. Sore but good. The water helped some. Walking to get there not so much, but I just couldn’t stand to feel grimy any longer after waking up. How about you? That chair can’t be comfortable. Tell me how you slept the way you were?” Mia patted the space next to her on the bed, giving him an edge to sit on, part because she craved the heat of his body by hers, part due to how much she missed connecting to another person. She’d denied herself the possibility of finding completion again out of fear—of giving herself to someone so deeply again only to suffer the total devastation of loss. An all-consuming guilt surged through her at the thought of allowing anyone the place in her soul that belonged to Connor.

  “Hazard of the job.Rest well Mia. I’m going home to grab shower and a change of clothes. I’ll be back before you know it.” With those parting words, Dire threw a cocky grin and left the room. As the door closed behind him, she closed her eyes, ignoring the soft sigh she made at his absence. Mia pondered the intense feelings he invoked and whether she wanted them. To crave security and intimacy after so many years of self-imposed solitude left her dizzy and aching with an unquenchable thirst. Adding to that he was a practical stranger, well, the thought was just downright scary. Mia closed her eyes to count sheep, willing herself to drift off without thoughts of him invading her mind.

  * * * *

  “Hey, sleepy lady.”

  “I was having the best dream. Shhh,” Mia groused and started to draw the covers over her head. Morning can’t be here already.

  “I have a salted caramel latte for you.”

  Mia knew that voice. Sinclaire. She pried her eyes open to find her best friend holding two coffee cups. She drew the covers down and stretched her hands over her head. “You are a goddess.”

  “I know, but the real question is who the sexy man in the corner belongs to.” Sinclaire handed her one of the thermal cups and sat in the chair next to her bed. Dire said he’d return, and he had. Gotta love a man who keeps his word.

  She allowed herself a lingering glance at his sleeping form while bringing her cup to her mouth for a heavenly sip of caramel caffeine loaded goodness. The sound of Sinclaire’s four hundred dollar designer heels tapping on the floor amused her. “His name is Dire, he’s the fireman.”

  “The fireman…as in the one who pulled Ash and you out of the mangled mess that was once considered your vehicle?”

  “Mhm. He’s kinda sweet in a non-stalker type way. I don’t really know him but he’s been here since we were brought in, even looked after Ash when I was unconscious.”

  “That’s so romantic. And face it sweetheart, it’s about time you had some romance. But are you absolutely sure you don’t have hero worship for him?” Mia’s face heated. She sipped her warm drink trying to avoid her best friend’s all-knowing gaze.

  “Oh. Oh. Oh.” Sinclaire exclaimed the words, plopping down on the edge of the bed.

  “Shhhh.” Mia signaled with a hand. “I don’t worship him, I appreciate him doing his job just like Connor did his. I only worshiped the ground Connor walked on.”

  “Yeah well, at least you’re interested in him. He’s gotten under that concrete wall layered with cemented glue, foaming insulation, plaster and paint. This is so good.”

  Her insane friend laughed with a maniacal glee that totally wasn’t normal in any sense of the word. “Don’t make more of this. You’re here now so he’ll leave. He said he was staying because we were alone. He lost his father at Ashland’s age, and was alone. I guess when I was being pulled out I made him promise to keep her safe. Dire is a man of his word, which I find refreshing. He is easy on the eyes too, asleep and awake.”

  A brief knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Dr. Jacobi came in. “Morning. How did you sleep?” Sinclaire moved off the bed and stepped outside the room though Mia beckoned her to stay with a look.

  “Fine. I mean I slept on and off most of the day with the pain killers and most of the night. I took a hot shower. Moving was harder than anything.”

  Dr. Jacobi nodded and glanced over her chart. “You’ve been off pain meds for a few hours, can you tell me the level of your discomfort or any pain from one to ten.”

  “A five. I feel pain everywhere in my body, sort of radiates more when I move my neck and my head too much.”

  “That’s to be expected. Let’s have a look at your stitches.” He gently peeled back the bandage. “Your sutures held. No swelling, redness or puss. I’m going to touch the area, might be a bit tender.”

  “Why would there be puss?”

  “You were pulled out of wreckage with all kinds of foreign objects all over you. Although we can clean you up good and put you back together, there’s always a risk of infection. You look good.” He quickly examined the rest of her. She groaned when he pressed on her neck and shot him a glare.

  He gentled his touch. “I know this is not comfortable for you. I want to be able to send you home today. But first I’d like to take one more CAT scan. Radiology will come and get you in a bit. If the pictures come back clear, I’ll have them prepare you for discharge. I take it your friend is here to bring you home?”

  “Yeah, she got here as quickly as she could.” Mia wanted to go home and didn’t want to. A movement in the corner caught her eye. Dire met her gaze her with a lazy smile. She swallowed her drool as he ran a hand over his head.

  “Good. Well, we’ll have a look at the inside of your body before we make any other plans on therapy. For now, we’ll continue a low dose of pain killers for your comfort and work down to some anti-inflammatory meds as soon as possible.”

  “How soon can I return to work?” She didn’t have time up stored up, not with Ashland’s cheer competitions eating them all up. Her daughter had a lengthy break, she wished she had one as well.

  “Depending on the results of the scan, I’d say your body needs at least a week to heal from the stress of the trauma.” When he was finished with his assessment, he left the room. The aide with a wheelchair came not five minutes later.

  How long did it take for the doctor to interpret the images? They’d taken her to radiology hours ago and returned her. Dire sat at a table with Ashland playing Scrabble and she was kicking his sexy fireman ass. Every time she put down a triple word score he muttered under his breath, making her daughter giggle. Mia wanted to play but sitting up and staring at the words made her nauseated and she felt a bit loopy with the meds.

  Sinclaire sat by her with a fashion magazine looking at a selection of winter boots. Every now and then she would glance Dire’s way and then hers. “I am so bored.”

  “Want me to turn on the television?” Dire asked looking up from his game.

  “Sure. Thanks.” Mia watched him slide his chair back. He moved like a man in charge over to the side of the bed and knelt down beside her.

  “The remote is tied to your call light and bed remote.” He winked and pressed the on button she missed. “You can adjust the volume here.” Dire pressed the remote in her hand. Fissures of energy arced from the brief contact. When he removed his touch she felt abandoned, her body
ached for more. She watched him ruffle Ashland’s head, then sit back down to give her his total attention. Her baby ate it up with a smile. Had she been selfish, forcing Ashland to grow without a male influence?

  Part of her wanted to jump his bones, the other part wanted there to be some serious flaw in him that would have her running for the hills.

  “Earth to Mia.”Sinclaire waved a hand in her face drawing her out of her funk.

  “Hmm. What did I miss?”

  “Oh nothing. Just watching you stare at your fireman.” The pages of the magazine crinkled as she flipped the pages in nonchalance.

  “I was observing him playing with Ashland. She’s loving the time he’s spending with her, and I’m worried about what will happen when he’s not around after we leave. I should put a stop to it now.”

  “Trying to scare him off? Leave them be.”

  Mia raised her eyebrow at her best friend but Sinclaire didn’t budge. “Seriously though, what if?”

  “Yeah, what if the world ends tomorrow, what if it doesn’t. What if you’ve by some chance of fate found someone perfect for you? How many people get second chances and take them? You play the what-if game if you want and keep avoiding life. Keep declining invitations from friends who love you out of misplaced guilt. We know you feel like the odd girl out with us who have boyfriends, although I’m newly single. Now is your chance to change that and I will not let you stand in your own way. No girl. It’s time to save you from yourself.”

  “You realize they can probably hear you right?” Sinclaire never failed to pick the most inopportune time and place to insert her opinion. If she didn’t stop she’d be in danger of losing her best friends forever card.

  “Those two are in their own world of Scrabble championship style to pay us much mind.”

  Mia watched the other pair across the small room and seriously doubted it. “I don’t care, drop it. God, I want to go home and rest in my comfortable bed and surroundings. I’m so tired of beeping machines and my butt is getting sore.” She dropped her pitch for the last part.

  “I bet. How about you get the person we’re not discussing to rub that sore spot for you.”