A Long Distance Love Affair

by Mary-Ellen McLean

  This opening up was for me the beginning of the reclamation of my life and had such a profound effect on me. It formed an incredible bond of friendship and trust and made me realise that friends can be such a source of pure, unadulterated, uncomplicated, untied, apolitical, simple love and support. So, if I could help you, I would say to you not to carry it inside you, but to talk about what you’re thinking and feeling to friends and family and to keep on talking until you begin to understand what it is you’re experiencing and why you are experiencing it. I think it was Socrates who said that the unexamined life is not worth living. And even though it is uncomfortable to look inside and examine what’s going on and why it’s going on you will eventually come to a clearer understanding of what your soul is after and how to reach that point, or at least how to set out after it. The other thing I would say to you as a friend is to go all out to Enjoy Life and Seek Happiness. I have made this my quest and I can tell you it’s a good one.

  I have found that I Enjoy You very much, particularly when we are in close proximity....I particularly enjoy particular parts of you and very much enjoy being enjoyed by you!! I am an ecstatic wanderer in the garden of your body and you bring my whole being to throbbing life.

  You have been responsible for my sexual reclamation and it’s so wonderful and I’m so grateful to you and it’s given me such great happiness.

  “The pleasure of possessing

  surpasses all expressing...”

  You have also provided great sustenance for my soul

  Chariette

  You glorious thing you

  What can I say? That was the most sexually wonderful thrilling night of my life. I felt so uninhibited and relaxed with you. And you are such a generous lover. Oh just everything, everything was divine. You thrill me so, and fill me so, I am replete with you. And I enjoyed your company and had fun too. Your sexual prowess is truly staggering to me.

  I feel so honoured at your willingness to be intimate with me like this. It is something I could very easily become addicted to (says the alcoholic of a brandy). It gives me such pleasure to stroke you and kiss you and lie in your arms and hear you breathing and to touch your beautiful hands and to fondle your lovely bits. Oh and your sexual kisses were something else! I could just eat you again now. My body is tingling with desire at the thought of this…

  I will remember this night when the transit of Venus comes again in 8 years…

  Thank you so much.

  I am completely swept away by you.

  Chariette

  PS I am finding it difficult to walk today…there are muscles in my thighs that I never knew existed.

  Dear Heart

  I am still awash with you! I woke this morning about 8.00 am then fell back asleep and have only just arisen at 3.00 in the afternoon. This is unbelievable for me. And I woke up feeling so happy I can’t tell you. I am feeling extremely intense at the moment and I have to try to keep a grip on what I say to you but it’s very difficult given the state I’m in.

  I still can’t walk!! And I have two small bruises on the inside of my right thigh that look just like your fingertips...I hope it’s an age before they fade so I can be reminded of you.

  I so loved being with you. Not just the sex. The sex was truly fantastic and I loved your lustiness and you brought out all the lust in me. (Which is a considerable well I can tell you...) But I loved just being with you and touching you. I hope you could feel the tenderness of my feelings for you in my touch. It was just flowing out of me. I wish I could die just now with this beautiful memory being my last one.

  Oh I could really open up to you right now. It’s so hard for me keeping a restraint on this...My heart is just pounding with feeling and I’m so overcome with you. Oh God... I adore you so much. I’m going to stop now before I lose control...but I have so much I want to say to you....

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  I very much enjoyed our conversation last night. I feel more and more relaxed with you the more I have to do with you and this is such a lovely feeling for me and testimony to your lovely nature and ability to create this in me.

  I have to try to get you out of my head so I’m writing to you now. Have completely given up trying to get you out of my body...nothing works so you’re there tormenting me all the time.

  Since the pressure has eased off me a bit a work I feel you flooding in to every vacant space of me. I desperately need to get stuck into some new project now that will occupy me and momentarily take my mind off you, because otherwise the all consuming longing for you that I experience is too much to bear... Oh.... I wish you could:

  “Come now, and let me dream it truth.

  And part my hair, and kiss my brow,

  And say – My dear! Why sufferest thou?”

  I hope that you are finding some clarity in your thinking about where you’re heading. I hope you are pursuing your hopes and dreams with all vigour just now. I’ve noticed a tinge of regret in your voice about some things you’ve spoken to me about....wishing that you could have spent time in Saudi Arabia, and have stayed longer in America. Regret is something that can sap you needlessly (I fight against this though I have much to regret in my life...I don’t know how on earth I let myself get into (and stay in) the situation I was in for so long and the awful sense of the wastedness of my life is very powerful in me sometimes). So if you have unfulfilled needs and ambitions just now I would give you all encouragement to set out on a path to seek their fulfilment.

  I hope you have a very wonderful weekend....... I just think the world of you...

  Chariette

  My Heart's Delight

  Thankyou for your thoughtful phone call yesterday - it nourished me for the whole day.

  You are also my ear's delight. I am very drawn to the tones of your voice (very drawn to everything about you, but you know that already). I like the masculine depth of it; I like the modulation of it and I like the way you pronounce your ''i's. It all makes very pleasurable connections to the appropriate receptors in my brain. (I love the way you say 'fuck' too, and that makes exciting connections with other parts of me.) I just find you one totally delightful package. You are obviously the right spark plug for me. I just have to fleetingly think of any aspect of you and I become awash with receptiveness for you and with happy feelings.

  I am enjoying going to the gym and have had a program worked out for me to increase cardiovascular something or other... Mind you I can think of much more pleasant ways of increasing my heart rate and exercising certain muscles and these largely revolve around you. I am also interacting with a few torture machines to tone certain parts of me, but I don't think I'll live long enough to accomplish this feat.

  Wish you were here now to increase my heart rate (and juiciness...) Would love to have my complete joy of you tonight.

  Happy weekend you beautiful boy you

  Chariette

  Dear Beautiful Wondrous Chariot of my Dreams

  I hope you've had a good week. I have been sending many warm thoughts your way. I have also been sending many lascivious thoughts your way as well, but to no avail... I have been most desirous of you most of the week. Can't seem to control myself at all in this regard. Tell me what to do about this- I need HELP!!

  Oh but I just find you so sexy. I have images of you in my mind (and my body...did you know your body has a memory? Mine is completely saturated with you!) in various stages of dress and undress. You are very sexy dressed and it's a complete pleasure to contemplate you in various suits and shirts and ties. You are a very stylish dresser and you carry yourself so well. You are also very sexy undressed and carry yourself exceptionally well in that state too. I'm wishing I could have you tonight...Oh what pleasure it would be to me in pleasuring you. I get as much joy out of this as out of you pleasuring me!

  It looks as though I might be spending more time in Europe than I had planned. I'm very excited at this prospect....How my life has changed in the past year or so! There was a
time when there was no way I could have even contemplated this kind of thing and had to rely on books for my life adventures. There was also a time when I thought physical (and emotional) joy of the kind I'm experiencing with you was finished in my life but the miracle of you has changed all that. I feel so very fortunate and grateful and just plainly happy I can't tell you.

  I hope things are progressing in your life too my dear Adonis. You're on the right track and things will work out for you. I feel it in my bones (and other places).

  From your madly happy, full of you (metaphorically speaking)

  Chariette

  Beautiful Chariot

  Your email just blew me away. I don’t know the word for beyond divine but that’s what you are... I’ve got to do some work this weekend and I don’t know how I’m ever going to concentrate. I’m so high on you I feel as though I’ll never hit the ground again!!

  Your suggestions for some intimate time together were just wonderful. You have no idea how into that I could be... and now that I am seriously working on my thigh muscles there’s no end to the possibilities!! But it would be very beautiful to have some relaxed time with you too. There never seems to be enough to do all that I want to do with you. I would love to spend time just caressing you all over after making love with you (if we can ever stop...) My hands are yearning for some tender touching with you. And I would love to listen to music with you, and talk about art, and talk about you, and read some poetry to you, all naked and warm in your arms and sipping wine and other lovely concoctions....Maybe one day we’ll manage it, hey? Meanwhile it’s lovely just thinking about what we could do if we had the chance...and to remember what we have done when we’ve been together. I treasure the time I’ve already had with you and the time you give me in your lovely calls no matter when they arrive. You’ve brought me great happiness already in connecting with me in the way that you have. I enjoy you so very much.

  If you want me to come to Sydney in August when you’re there I will without a second’s hesitation. But if it’s not appropriate and you’re too tied up that’s OK. I’ll look forward to one of your lovely calls no matter how late.

  Keep pursuing your thinking about work with all vigour. You’re on the right track and things are working themselves out underneath all this to your benefit...You’ll see...!!

  Wish I was working out underneath you just now...

  Chariette

  Dear Chariot

  Speaking of quality intimate time together... what I would like to do one night is share with you all the fruit in Caravaggio’s still life, piece by luscious juicy piece, and suck your fingers and run my tongue across your lips and lick your chin and kiss your mouth and then make glorious sticky love with you!!

  Chariette

  My Prince

  I was thinking today how I so love to dress up for you. And I love to be undressed by you. I love being naked with you and you make me feel very natural and at ease. I feel less and less shy every time I'm with you. The sexual side of me has been repressed and devalued for so long that this re-awakening I'm experiencing with you is such a complete and wondrous joy. What is even more wondrous is the discovery of your thrilling sexual eagerness.

  When I met you before 'all this' started, I thought you were so very good looking...so suave..so very intelligent and charming...and you were great to be around. I had not the slightest inkling that you would turn out to be such a sexually passionate creature. I did pick up a certain simmering 'je ne sais quoi' from your looks from time to time which I must admit I found extremely exciting. But still I had no idea that you would turn out to have the kind of sexual appetite that would satisfy all my long long yearnings...

  My body knew though - in the way that bodies seem to do...It was instant, complete, compelling attraction from the minute I first looked at you. And now that my body and mind are at one on this knowledge of you - well, what a heady mix is brewing as the result! My body wants you in the same way my lungs want air. And my soul is so filled with such sensual thoughts about you that it fans the fire of my physical lust for you.

  You are such a sexy beast and you bring out the beastess in me.

  Chariette

  Dear Divine One

  It was wonderful to hear your voice tonight. Sorry it was difficult to talk.

  It’s bitterly bitterly cold here now, but I always feel filled with warmth because of you. I so love to linger over thoughts of you. It gives me such pleasure. How I wish I could be connecting in a variety of ways with your beautiful warm mouth and mine would love to be caressing you in very intimate places. I can’t tell you how much pleasure it gives me to be able to touch you (over and over again)and kiss you (over and over again) and make love to you so pleasurably. There are times I am just overcome with complete wonder at my great good fortune in coming across you in my life, and with complete wonder at your willingness to connect with me. There are times I could just die with happiness....You fill me with such lovely feelings. I’m so happy to be alive.

  Oh I hope I’m giving you pleasure too!

  See you in my dreams!

  From your besotted one

  Oh Chariot

  Oh! Oh! Oh! So excited I'm lost for words.

  I had a quick look on the airline website and I can be at Sydney airport at about 5.30 or 5.50 on the 9th, so I will be able to find where your plane comes in and wait for you at your arrival gate if that's OK. If not tell me what you want. You will be able to pick me out of the crowd because I will be the happiest smilingest person there....

  I will sort out my booking tomorrow. So looking forward to synchronising bodies with you.

  (I'm bringing the Cointreau!)

  Chariette

  My heart's delight, eye's delight, loins' delight and every other delight in the known (and unknown) universe...

  Feeling very feeling about you just now. Feeling very happy and full of life too. (I've got to stop emailing you like this or you'll form the impression I'm keen on you...)

  I'm still aglow with our encounter this week. It was so wonderful seeing you (all of you). You were completely lovely as always. You were opening up a little to me too, which was very special. I hope I can bring your life some secret glow and quiet kernel of pleasure and I hope that you will come to know that I am on your side and wish you well in all that you do. I hope this will help you feel a little less on the alone side.

  I hope I can be of some good to you. You have been so very good for me. The soft underbelly of my soul has been so traumatised in my past existence and your coming into my life has done much to heal this...I am so grateful to you.

  I hope you've been having a wonderful break. I notice the weather has been boringly perfect as usual for you. It's positively arctic down here, but I'm cooking a lovely roast dinner for the family coming tonight and I've set the table beautifully and brought out the good cutlery so there will be plenty of warm cheer here too in a different kind of way.

  My pride will now intervene and prevent me from emailing you again for a while, but my body, my heart, my soul, my all will be full of yearning for you and thinking of you and wishing for you... I think you are so lovely...'none can compare..'

  Chariette

  Chariot wonderful boy

  I get the most wonderful visions of you in various delicious poses coming to me every morning (and lunchtime, and afternoon and evening and night....). Physical interaction with you is just the most wonderful experience. I'm feeling that 'blood rush' now just thinking about it.

  You engineer the most wonderful climaxes for me (and I hope I do the same for you!) Oh I wish I could kiss you and kiss you...you have awakened such urges in me.

  "Thou art my joy in every spot,

  My theme in every song."

  Chariette

  My Chariot

  We’ve had very foggy mornings here all week which I just love. There’s an air of great stillness, peace and mystery about them. It’s also nice to be rugged up and feel the frost bite your ears...mak
es me also wish it was you biting my ears...

  I had a lovely time with you in Sydney. You were looking so handsome you took my breath away. I found the time with you in the taxi very overwhelming – your proximity, your sexiness was very powerful. The way you propped your leg up on the ridge in the floor ...Oh God I just loved it!! If only you knew the paroxysms of desire I was feeling for you then....you create such a strong reaction in me. The other moment I really loved (loved them all but now I’m talking REALLY loved) was when I opened the door to your smiling face and I grabbed you gleefully as you walked in. That was just beautiful. I have so very many gleeful grabs in me for you.