Daddy, Daddy, Me

by Sean Michael

  She laughed for him, hands banging on the high chair tray.

  He laughed back and then tried tasting the sweet potatoes himself. "These aren't bad. They could use a bit of spice, but still." He took another little spoonful and slid it into her mouth.

  She rolled those huge, pretty eyes and spit it right back out.

  Picky.

  Just like her father.

  He should make Jeff do gourmet baby food for her. Maybe then she'd eat it. Chuckling at the thought, he grabbed the little jar of apple sauce; he knew she liked that. She squealed happily, kicking for him.

  Donny laughed again and started feeding her the applesauce. Jeff needed to be here, or rather they needed to be with Jeff. There was no way the man could stay depressed with this little bundle of joy in his life.

  He'd just finished with her when the phone rang. Jeff. Thank God.

  "Hey, Jeff!" He smiled, wriggled his fingers at Kimmie.

  Kimmie crowed happily, like she knew who it was.

  "Hey, Don. How's things going?"

  "We're missing you. How're you?"

  "Tired. Been working lots of hours."

  "Yeah? Have you found somewhere for us all to stay?" Jeff needed his family.

  "Not yet. I don't know."

  "I know you're working hard -- how can I help? I could find a place to rent." He wasn't going to leave Jeff to deal with this all by himself.

  "I don't know. I can't... I need to come out, see the kids, you."

  "We want to see you before Sunday. We could come to town for the morning tomorrow."

  "How, Don? I have the car. I'll just... I'll try to come out this week. I swear."

  "I can rent a car." Jeff was not going to do this. He was not going to push them away in a funk. "We can be at Jillian's by nine tomorrow morning. That'll give us all some time together with the kids before you have to be at work."

  "And then what? That will upset Robin."

  "You think seeing you will upset him? He's going to be thrilled. I think we should look at places to rent while you decide if you want to rebuild or buy. If he's involved with that, it's going to help him."

  "I... I don't know. I'll call you later, okay? I will. I just need to get in early."

  "No, you don't need to call later; we'll see you tomorrow morning." He was not going to be fobbed off.

  "I'll call. I love you. I love all of you." Jeff sounded so lost. So fucking confused.

  It broke Donny's heart when the line went dead. It made him more determined than ever that he'd take the kids to see Jeff tomorrow. Once Jeff saw how well the kids were doing, how well they could do without a house -- that it was the people who counted -- he might start coming around.

  Mike walked by just then and Don called out to him. "Hey, Mike. I'm taking the kids to see Jeff tomorrow morning. You think you can get me to a car rental agency or something?"

  Mike looked at him, smiled. "You can borrow the van, kid. I don't mind."

  He smiled back. "Oh, that'd be awesome, thank you!"

  "No problem. Can you bring Sam home some of that fancy chocolate shit she likes from the store on Vegas?"

  "I'd love to. You need anything else while we're in town?"

  "I'll get Sam to make a list." Mike came over, kissed Kimmie's head. "Hey, sweet baby."

  Kimmie giggled and grabbed Mike's finger in her little fist.

  "Cool. Thanks again for loaning me the van. Jeff needs to see his kids."

  "Yes. Yes, and his..." Mike looked. "What would you like us to call you, Donny? His partner? Lover? Husband? Friend?"

  "I like how partner sounds." Mike and Samantha had been so accepting of him. It made him so happy, knowing these were the people his kids had inherited genes from.

  "Good deal. Anyway, he needs his partner, too. He's got to be at loose ends."

  "I think he's burying himself in his work -- he needs us to remind him there's more to life than that."

  "Yep." Mike grinned at him. "I believe my wife wants my help in the garden."

  "Yeah, I imagine she does. And I have a mess to clean up before she comes back in."

  Mike chuckled, nodded. "Indeed."

  He watched Mike go out and turned his attention back to Kimmie. "You hear that, sweetie? We're going to go see Daddy tomorrow."

  Kimberley squealed happily, banging her little fists onto the tray, sweet potato spraying. Donny just laughed and picked her up, swinging her up into the air.

  They were going to bring this joy to Jeff. Whether the man wanted it or not.

  Chapter Nineteen

  "You have got to stop this shit, man."

  Jeff blinked at his sister, trying to figure out that the fuck she was talking about. "Huh?"

  "This whole depressed-avoidance-self-centered bullshit thing. It’s old. You lost the house. Tough. You’re getting shit at work because you’re fucking up. Big deal. You had the bad taste to date a psycho house-burning fucker. Cope."

  He looked at her. "You’re helping so much."

  Jellybean plopped down on his lap. "Yep. I am. Mitch is an ass. He’s also disappeared and the cops can only do so much. What do you want?" She poked him right in the nose. "And you can’t say 'My house back' because one, you can’t have it, and two, that’s a pussy answer."

  "I want you to leave me alone."

  She swacked him. "Try harder."

  "I want out."

  Her head tilted. "From your thing with Donny? From the responsibility of the kids? Because now’s the time to do that."

  "No." No, on that he was sure. He didn’t want to fucking try to deal with Don and the house and all the plans, but that wasn’t Don. That was his shit.

  "Then what? Focus, Jeff. What do you want out of?"

  "The city. The hours at Dejeuner. I want…" He sighed and Jillian poked him in the ribs.

  "Keep going."

  "I want the kids with me. I want to see Don. I want to be closer to Mike and Samantha so that I can have some adult time with my lover. I want a little restaurant of my own so the kids could come see me. I want a house without fancy expensive marble bathtubs that I never liked anyway. I want a goddamn dog!"

  "Then why don’t you?"

  "What?" She wasn’t making sense.

  "Why don’t you go get your family and get those things, you idiot? You have money, you’re young, and healthy, and whole." Jillian wasn’t laughing now. "Go take your life back and quit wallowing in your own crapulence."

  "Oh fuck you, you bitch!"

  Jillian chuckled at his little outburst. "Does that feel better, man?"

  He looked at her, started laughing, feeling lighter in his chest. "Yes."

  She hugged him. "You should listen to me more often, you know."

  "I…" She was right. "I hate you."

  "I know. It sucks, dude, but it is what it is. You can’t mourn forever; you have babies to raise."

  "Yeah. I need to see them."

  "Go tonight. They need you, too."

  Jeff nodded, brain making plans that he’d wanted to make for months, but hadn’t had the courage to make. He reached for his phone; he needed to make some calls.

  He barely noticed Jillian’s little muttered. "Save me a guest room for when I visit, Jeff."

  ***

  Jeff got to Mike's house about two a.m., and he let himself in with the key hidden in the pot of cannas. He'd called this evening, warned them he was coming. He needed to see his kids. He needed to see Don. They needed to talk. It wasn't fair to make Don drive into the city with two little kids in a rented car when he could drive here after work.

  He headed down the hall past the guest room where Don was. First he wanted to see Robin and Kimberley. They were both there, and so was Don, his lover in the middle of the pile, Robin snugged up on one side of him, Kimberley on top of him.

  He chuckled softly. God, they were beautiful. His babies. He gently picked up his daughter, murmuring softly to keep her asleep. One little fist stretched out and she turned her head, but didn't wa
ke. He settled in the little rocking chair beside the bed, rocking her, holding her.

  Don's eyes opened and he smiled slowly. "Oh, you're a sight for sore eyes."

  "Hey, babe." He smiled back. How could he not?

  "You look good like that. Welcome home."

  "I couldn't wait until tomorrow." Don deserved to know that. Jeff needed his family now. He was so tired.

  "I'm glad. We didn't want to wait, either." Don slipped out of bed, managing not to wake Robin. "Come to bed?"

  He nodded and put Kimberley in the little travel crib, then kissed Robin's cheek. "I need a shower."

  "Sure. I'll get a couple of fresh towels."

  He grabbed Don's hand, squeezed. "Thank you."

  Don moved in and kissed him quickly. "Thank you for coming home to us."

  "I needed to." That was the cold truth. It had been too long.

  "I know. Come on." Don tugged on his hand, leading him from the kids' room. "Didn't feel right doing this in front of them." This was another kiss, a deeper kiss, a longer kiss.

  He kissed Don back, letting himself feel it, letting himself relax for the first time in days. Don cupped his cheeks, tenderness and care in the way Don's fingers stroked his skin. Their lips parted slowly and he stood there, foreheads together.

  Don breathed in deeply. "Missed you so much, Jeff. It isn't right, us not all being together."

  "I know. I. Look, we need to talk, together. About what we're going to do."

  Don nodded. "A part of me says that it's your money, so it's your decision, but a bigger part of me wants to believe that we really are partners, and what I think matters."

  "Come to the kitchen. We'll shower after. Let's talk first." If Don didn't know they were partners, he needed to deal with that first.

  "Okay." Don led him back to Samantha and Mike's kitchen. "There's leftover spaghetti if you're hungry."

  "I grabbed a sandwich on my way out." He pulled two beers from the fridge.

  Don took one and sat next to him, took his hand again. "Are you okay?"

  "I don't know." That was the most honest answer he had.

  "You need your family with you, Jeff. The joy of those kids -- that will give you a better answer to that question."

  He nodded. "And you. I just... I gave notice at the restaurant, Don. I... I don't know what we're going to do, but I can't do it there anymore, in the city. If you need to stay there, I understand, but... I can't. It's full of bad memories for me." He wasn't sure what he wanted, but he knew it wasn't that.

  Don reached out and took his hand. "I want to be with you and the kids, Jeff. I love you, I love them. We're a family together -- where doesn't matter."

  "I'm tired of missing everything. I'm tired of not seeing them." Shit, he was just tired, bone deep.

  Don nodded and stood, moving behind him to rub his shoulders. "We're right here."

  He groaned, head falling forward. "Missed you. All of you."

  "I believe you made the right decision. You're an amazing chef. You'll be able to find work anywhere. Or we can find a small apartment somewhere and you can use the insurance money to build your dream restaurant. As long as we're all together the details are just that, details."

  "We can build." He'd thought about this shit a lot. More than he ought, probably, but damn it, if Don and he were... a them, then, they had to work at this.

  "We'll make all your dreams come true, Jeff."

  "You don't understand, babe. I want us to have dreams." Together.

  "It's your money, though, Jeff. It was your house, your kids..."

  He nodded. "It was. Before that, they were Bethy's kids. I just... If we're going to make this work, we have to make it work."

  Don moved around and knelt between his legs. "I love you and if you're sure..."

  "I'm not talking about just a few years, Don. I'm not talking about short-term. I'm talking about forever. I'm talking about first days of school and teenagers and grandchildren."

  A smile grew across Don's face, sweet and bright. "Jeff... Yes, please."

  "I know we didn't get to date and I know that I get overwhelmed and shorted out and..." He sighed softly. Great, was he trying to talk Don out of this?

  "Hush." Don leaned up and brought their mouths together, cutting off anything else he might have said.

  He sobbed once, softly, tongue pushing into Don's lips. This was what he'd dreamed about, that silent dream you never shared. This was his family. Don's arms wrapped around him, his lover opening for him, welcoming him in. Jeff let himself relax, let himself believe in it, and he tugged Don close.

  Don pressed against him, moaning into the kiss before drawing back. "Maybe we should go to our room, huh?"

  "Yeah. I think so." He touched Don's bottom lip. "We've got so much to do." But there was something else they needed to do first.

  "It won't seem like as much with two of us working on it." Don nibbled on his fingertip before standing, holding out his hands. "Come on. Mike and Samantha have been so nice, I'd hate to have them come down for a midnight snack and find me sucking you off."

  His cock jerked, loving that idea. "That could be awkward."

  "Uh-huh." Don tugged on his hands, encouraging him up, and began to walk backward toward the guest room.

  He followed, his face hurting with his smile.

  Don didn't stop to kiss him or feel him up or anything on the way, just kept leading him to the bedroom, eyes making all sorts of promises.

  Jeff thought he'd take Don up on each and every one of them.

  ***

  Donny woke up warm and happy, Jeff's body curled around his. He'd known he missed Jeff, but it was only now that he realized just how much. He made a happy little noise, pushing back against Jeff. His lover was warm and cozy and had morning wood.

  He was just deciding what to do about that when the patter of little feet came toward the guest room and Don grinned, knowing he had about two seconds to shift before Robin bounded on the bed. "Daddy home! Daddy home!"

  "Robbie!" Jeff's eyes popped open and he grabbed the little boy, grinning hugely. "I missed you, so much!"

  "Me, too!" Robin's arms wrapped around Jeff's neck.

  God, they were cute together.

  "Oh, man. It's so good to see you." Jeff held on tight. "I missed making you pancakes and oatmeal, and singing songs with you and going to the park!"

  Robin laughed and bounced on Jeff. "Pancakes! Pancakes!"

  "Pancakes!" Jeff's laughter rang out. "Is your sister awake?"

  Right on cue, Kimberley started crying.

  "I'll get her." Don gave Robin a kiss on the cheek and reached over for his jeans, slipping into them quickly.

  "She doesn't eat pancakes, Daddy. I do."

  "He's got a point. I'll let Robin tell you about our adventures in sweet potatoes." He gave Jeff and Robin a fond smile and went to get Kimberley. She was going to need a change and a bottle.

  He heard Jeff chatting, and he was smiling when he went to grab his daughter. The thought made him stop. His daughter. She was his. This was his family. Not the family he looked after as the nanny, but his family.

  Samantha came out, rumpled and blinked. "Donny? Everything okay, honey?"

  "Yeah, we're good. Jeff came home last night." He was aware his smile was more than a little goofy.

  Oh, I know. He called to let us know yesterday. Did you want me to get her?"

  "No, I've got her. Jeff's going to make pancakes. But thanks." He went in and rescued his girl, moving to the changing table to change her diaper.

  She hushed when he stripped her, gnawing happily on her fist.

  "Hey, pretty girl. Your daddy's home."

  She gurgled and he got her cleaned up, redressed, and headed into the bedroom where Jeff was listening to Robin tell him about his day.

  She held her arms out to Jeff. "Dadadadada."

  Donny nearly dropped her.

  Jeff looked over. "Kimmie?"

  "Da!"

  "Oh, my God.
Her first word!" Don laughed. She'd said her first word.

  Robin stared, wide-eyed. "She knows your name, Daddy."

  "Isn't she smart, Robin?" Donny thought if he smiled any harder, he'd hurt something.

  "Uh-huh." Jeff opened his arms and Kimberley crowed. "Da!"

  Donny passed her over and tugged Robin into his lap. "Your baby sister said her first word!"

  "Uh-huh." Robin snuggled with him. "Donny, Daddy's going to make pancakes."

  "I know. Aren't we lucky?" He smiled at Jeff, so in love. So very, very much in love.

  "Uh-huh."

  Jeff was playing with Kimberley, tickling her and making her laugh. Donny dragged Robin closer and started tickling him, too. They all laughed together, all four of them.

  He'd known this was what Jeff needed -- to be with his family. To be with them.

  One of Jeff's legs slid over, nudged his. He nudged back. "We should go get breakfast. Someone promised us pancakes."

  "Someone did? Whoever would do that?" Jeff's eyes went wide.

  "It was you!" Robin leapt from his arms into Jeff's lap. "You said!"

  "Did I? Are you sure?"

  Robin nodded. "Daddy, can we go home now?"

  "We kind of already are home, Robin." Donny gave Robin a warm smile. "As long as the four of us are together, we're home, no matter where we are."

  "No. No, Daddy. I want my room."

  Jeff stopped, then smiled at Robin. "I think we should look for a new house."

  "A new house?"

  Jeff nodded. "A house with a big yard, a swing set."

  "That sounds great." Donny smiled at the two of them. "You could help choose the decorations for your room, Robin, the furniture."

  Robin frowned. "My big boy bed?"

  Jeff nodded. "Yes. A big boy bed, maybe one that looks like a car."

  "Oh man, do they make grown up beds that look like a car?" Donny asked. Actually, he wanted a king-sized four poster, so there would always be room for the kids to crawl in with them.

  "I don't think so, love, but we can check."

  "Can Kimberley have a dinosaur room?" Robin looked so earnest.

  Donny considered it. He didn't see why not -- she could always change it when she was old enough to care. "If you think that's what she'd like, sure." He looked up at Jeff, smiled; these were the type of decisions he was a part of now. Not just in a consult the nanny kind of way.