Opposing Forces

by Adrienne Giordano

  * * *

  Jack leaned back from his dining table and stretched his arms over his head. “Seriously, that was a hell of a steak.”

  Jillian twisted her lips to hide a grin. Silly man. “Then you must be deprived of good steak, because I’m not exactly a gourmet cook.”

  “You’re a great cook. Besides, I’m a guy whose only home-cooked meals come from Vic’s wife once a week. And those dinners usually involve screaming babies and grumpy teenagers. Give me a quiet home-cooked meal in my own place and I’m a happy guy.”

  He smiled at her, his lips parting into that boyish grin that instantly sparked something warm inside her. His smiles—or lack of them—could be one of the world’s great tragedies. “You don’t smile enough.”

  His focus stayed on her—something most definitely brewing in his mind—but if the last three months were any indication, he’d quickly look away. Hadn’t that been his M.O.? To sneak glances at her during yoga and then, when she paid him any attention, look away. The man confused her. For someone generally suspicious of people’s motives, this wasn’t any great revelation. With him, she wanted to jump inside his mind and know his thoughts.

  The silence around them lingered until he shot out of his chair, the legs scraping against hardwood.

  History had indeed repeated itself.

  He reached for her dirty dish but didn’t look at her. “You cooked. I’ll clean up.”

  Typically when he ran from her, he’d simply be gone and she wouldn’t be faced with the awkward moment after. Sitting in his apartment left nowhere for either of them to run. She reached for the empty serving platter in the center of the table. “You helped cook.”

  “I stood there and talked.”

  “You did hand me the salt and pepper. Doesn’t that count?”

  He shrugged. “I’ll clean up.” Without another glance at her, he spun and headed for the kitchen.

  “I didn’t mean anything by it,” she called. “The comment about you smiling. When did the truth become such a horrible thing?”

  He slapped the faucet on. “It’s not a horrible thing.”

  Except you ran in terror. “Okay. Anyway, I’ll go to my room and give you some privacy. Don’t want to intrude.”

  “You’re not intruding. And it’s only seven. You can’t stay locked in that room all night. We’ll watch a movie or something.”

  “Fine. Right.” She jerked her thumb toward the hallway and the safety of the bathroom. “I’d like to clean up and set my clothes out for tomorrow.”

  He scrubbed at the pan with enough force to fracture the thing. “No problem.”

  After all day together, a few—or thirty—minutes alone would do them good. As comfortable as she was with him, they were still casual acquaintances who’d only shared spurts of time together in yoga, or afterward when a small group ventured out for a meal or coffee.

  Then again, this was obviously his issue and she couldn’t take responsibility for his issues. Not when she didn’t know how she’d caused them. She’d learned that lesson with her father. Right now, it was the main reason she stayed away from her parents. She couldn’t be around them when Dad was off the wagon. Not when she’d get sucked into the emotional warfare.

  She reached the bathroom, flipped on the light and closed the bathroom door behind her. Nice-sized bathroom. A little bigger than hers and it had that newly renovated look. No worn caulking or chipped grout. She liked the swishes of brown and blue in the tile. Strange color combination, but it definitely appealed to her. By next year, she’d have enough saved to update her bathroom. All things in good time.

  A peek at herself in the mirror offered nothing spectacular. Eh, could be worse. She’d need an assistant to carry the bags under her eyes, but considering the night she’d had, she couldn’t obsess over it.

  Taped to the top of the mirror, probably eye level for Jack, was a small swatch of paper with a handwritten note. She went on tiptoes and leaned closer. The Serenity Prayer.

  She blew out a breath. How many times had she said that damned prayer while dealing with her father’s issues?

  Or even in the quiet of her bedroom where she dreamed of a better life. A life like her friends had where daughters didn’t feel nervous every hour of the day because their father could humiliate them any second.

  And why did Jack have this taped to his bathroom mirror? Inspiration obviously. Plenty of people knew the Serenity Prayer and weren’t alcoholics. They just liked the prayer and found hope in it. She was one of them.

  She tapped the faucet on and made quick work of splashing water on her face. She’d busy herself in the bedroom getting ready for her day tomorrow while giving Jack another few minutes alone. Maybe then they’d get back to the light, easy conversation they’d enjoyed over dinner.

  Damned complicated man.

  Eventually, she wandered out of the bedroom, turned into the hallway and saw him just outside the kitchen, one hand braced against the wall as he faced off with the calendar she’d noticed earlier. The one with the giant red X’s marking off the days.

  Upon hearing her, he straightened. “Hi.”

  “Everything okay?”

  He flicked a finger against the calendar. “Thinking about my day tomorrow. Mike—my boss—called. Someone will be at your place at nine to install the alarm.”

  All day she’d been thinking about that alarm. Wondering how fast it would be installed and if she’d have to stay away from her home until it was. The knot in her stomach unfurled. “Thank you. I so appreciate you fast-tracking that for me.”

  “No problem. Happy to help. You’ll have to be there for the install. Your boss won’t give you a hard time, will he?”

  Ned, her temporary boss until Greg’s replacement was hired, was a reasonable man, but she’d only been there a few months and didn’t like taking unexpected time off. “It shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll go in early to make up the time.”

  “I can meet you at your house in the morning and do the walk-through with you. Make sure everything’s the way you want it.”

  She shook her head. “I can handle it. But thank you. Again. You’ve been great through this.”

  “All I did was make a few calls.”

  “Still.”

  The snapping energy in the room was back. Here we go again. Awkward silence drove her to a fit of arm tingles and she rubbed at them. Should have gone to a hotel.

  He scratched the back of his head. “I’m...uh...sorry. About earlier.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “No. It’s not. I didn’t want to make you to feel uncomfortable and wound up doing it anyway.”

  “It was a statement, Jack. You have a great smile. It would be nice if the world got to see it once in a while. I wasn’t flirting.”

  Not really.

  And then he smiled again. Good golly. If she only had her camera.

  “Thank you for the compliment,” he said. “I should have said that before. It’s nice to hear. From you.”

  And once again we travel through confusion land. On your left is the tall, good-looking man who stares. On the right is the independent yet lonely woman who would like to jump him. “I—wait...what should I say?”

  He grunted and banged his palms against his forehead. “I don’t want us to have a perception issue. You’re in my home. You’ve been through a trauma. I don’t want you to feel like I expect something. I want you to feel safe here. With me.”

  Unbelievable. The last standing hero. “I do feel safe. You’ve been nothing but kind to me for three months. And now, today, you’ve gone above and beyond to help me. Why wouldn’t I feel safe?”

  * * *

  Because I don’t feel safe. He was completely screwing this up. His body wanted to lock Jillian in his bedroom for a week and show her all the wa
ys he could make her smile. His brain, though? That son of a bitch kept hissing at him, warning him he’d blow his recovery if he let this woman within three feet of his bed.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “Thinking too much.” He flicked his finger against the calendar. “The timing is whacking me out.”

  She glanced at the calendar then brought her gaze back to his before taking a step closer. He forced himself not to move. To stand there while she stalked him. Stalked? Really? Maybe that was excessive.

  “I don’t understand.”

  Me neither. He pressed his fingers against his forehead and scrunched his face. Massive headache.

  “Jack?”

  And damn, she’d stepped closer. He was so fucked. Step back. The damned hissing in his head continued and a prickling sensation skittered across the back of his neck. Step back.

  But he knew what he wanted. What he’d wanted for months now, and she was here, in his place, and something told him if he made a move, she wouldn’t run.

  She was right there, her lips partly open and looking so perfect. All he needed to do was step closer and dip his head and...

  The clunk of the automatic ice maker dropping a fresh batch of cubes sounded and Lynx flinched. Jeez, he was a mess.

  A moment passed, a solid sixty seconds of her staring at him. Waiting.

  “Why don’t we just forget it?” she said. “We’ll call it a temporary malfunction.”

  Good word choice. Maybe his body didn’t think so, but his brain had finally stopped hissing. He needed all the crazy voices to stop and back the hell off. On top of all of this, he was now dealing with multiple personalities. For some completely asinine reason, that made him laugh.

  Jillian did jazz hands. “Oh, yay! He’s smiling.”

  He waved her off. “Yeah. I’m smiling. How about a movie? We’ll chill out with popcorn.”

  “Deal.”

  “Good. Want something to drink?”

  “I’d kill for a glass of white wine.”

  “Sorry, no wine. Iced tea or water. Or soda?”

  Please don’t ask me why I have no alcohol in the house. Having to explain that right now might hurl him off the scary fucking high wire he was balanced on.

  “You East Coast people. We call it pop here.”

  He stuck his head in the fridge. “Blah, blah.”

  “I’ll have water. Thank you.”

  Jillian moved into the kitchen to help him with popcorn and kept silent about the lack of alcohol in the house.

  For now, he’d dodged multiple bullets.

  Chapter Four

  By 8:00 a.m. Jillian had her head buried in a distribution report when Ned stepped into her office doorway. A tall man with a fit frame, her boss wore tailored black slacks and a white dress shirt sans tie. Ned wasn’t big on ties. Plus, this was mainly a warehouse so suits and ties weren’t required. The management staff was expected to dress appropriately, though. No jeans. Not that she could ever picture Ned in jeans anyway.

  They’d never discussed his age, but Jillian pegged him for mid-forties. He had that whole salt-and-pepper distinguished look going on. Everything about him telegraphed dependable, buttoned-up and good-natured.

  “Good morning,” he said. “You’re in early.”

  “I came in at seven. If it’s not a problem, I need to take some personal time today.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yes. Well, it will be. I had a break-in at my house Saturday night.”

  Ned’s eyebrows shot up. “My God. Were you home?”

  “I woke up and scared him off.”

  He stepped completely into her office. “Jillian, I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you. He made off with my personal laptop—my work one was in the car—and some other items, but that’s it. Anyway, I’m having an alarm system installed today. The installer is coming at nine and I need to be there. I came in early to make up the time lost.”

  Ned waved the statement away. “Of course. Go take care of it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Do you need anything from me before you go? I’m heading into a meeting.”

  She remembered the delivery from Friday night. “Actually, yes. I had to come back to the office Friday night. I forgot my camera and needed it for Saturday. A late delivery came in while I was here, but I can’t find any paperwork on it.”

  He frowned. “You sure? There should be something in the system on it.”

  “I can’t find anything. Cliff said he’d leave me the paperwork, but it’s not here.”

  “He might have put it in my box. I haven’t checked it yet today. I’ll track it down and get it to you.”

  “Thank you. It just feels like a loose end.”

  He smiled. “And you hate loose ends.”

  She laughed. “I do.”

  “We’ll tie it up. I think we’ll have a lot of loose ends until we hire Greg’s replacement.”

  “Right. Any idea when that will be?” Not that she had any hope of being promoted in the short time she’d been at Stennar Pharm, but it would be nice to know when she might have a boss.

  “Ted Ingrams will be here this afternoon to discuss it. I’ll let you know after that.”

  Ted was the CEO but kept an office downtown. She’d met him exactly twice in the three months she’d worked for the company and each time he’d been professional and direct. Not in a condescending way, but focused. Something she liked in a CEO.

  “Thank you.”

  Ned slapped his hand against the doorframe. “You bet. Go deal with your alarm.”

  * * *

  Jillian opened her front door and found one of the Taylor Security installers on the other side. Jack stood back a foot with a small tool bag dangling from one hand. Hello, handsome. It occurred to her that she’d never seen him in anything but jeans or workout clothes. The man could rock dress slacks and Oxford shirts.

  Couple that with him taking time out of his day to help her and her stomach did a nutty flutter thing. Relief maybe, because she didn’t have to deal with this alarm on her own. If nothing else, he could offer advice on the type of system she needed.

  For once, she wasn’t alone.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi back.”

  The two men stepped in and she closed and locked the door behind them. After introductions were made, she walked them through the house. Sam, the installer, took notes as he went along and she assumed he would ask questions if necessary so she forged ahead.

  In the kitchen, Sam glanced up at the doorframe on the slider. “You should install a security bolt. When the bolt is engaged, the door won’t open.”

  “Yeah,” Jack said. “I picked one up. I’ll install it while you do your thing.” That was news to her. She stared at Jack maybe a second too long, because he threw his free hand up. “Not butting in. Figured I’d save you a trip to the store.”

  A warm whoosh of air surrounded her. He’d done that for her. Without her asking. When was the last time someone, anyone, had done something like that? It was a small thing, but—wow. For a woman who’d grown used to her solitary life, to handling difficult situations, to navigating life’s ups and downs as an army of one, this meant something. What that something was, she couldn’t be sure. But she liked it. Loved it, in fact.

  Gently, using just his fingertips, he touched her arm. “It wasn’t a big deal. I stopped on my way to work this morning. I thought we could take care of everything for you today.”

  The pit in her stomach widened, opened her up, exposing her. And she couldn’t have that. Get it together. She blinked a couple of times, then glanced at Sam, who took his cue and wandered into the living room. Where the hell had all this emotion come from? Had to be exhaustion kicking in.

&nb
sp; Had to be.

  Once alone, she leaned closer to Jack. “Thank you. It is a big deal. To me anyway. This has been a nightmare. By the time we’re done here, I’ll feel safe again.”

  He backed up an inch, as usual, putting space between them. He did smile for her, though. Progress.

  “That’s the plan. Do you want to hang out while the alarm is installed? If you need to get back, we can call you when we’re done.”

  Not only would he install that security bolt for her, he would sit here while she went back to work. “I’m good. I brought my office laptop home with me. If I need to, I can work while I’m waiting. But, tell me, do you ever say no to anyone?”

  He grinned. “Sometimes. But this is supposed to be the year of no.”

  “I don’t think it’s working.”

  “I know it’s not working. I’m better than I was.” He shrugged. “I guess I figure if I can help, why not?”

  “Sometimes helping all the time gets to be a pain. You take on everyone else’s crap.”

  “Comes with the territory. It’s how I am.”

  Sam wandered back into the room. “How about I start upstairs?”

  Jillian nodded. “Sure. Can I get you anything?”

  “No, ma’am. Thank you.”

  He left again and she turned to Jack. “How about coffee? I’ll make a pot. I could use the caffeine.”

  “I won’t argue.”

  From the cabinet, she pulled the coffee canister and filters. She’d have to do one less scoop than normal. History had proved she was one of the few who liked sludge versus a typical cup of bold coffee.

  Jack set the tool bag on her kitchen table and unzipped it. “I’m gonna get started on this bolt. I need to use the drill, so you’ll want to go in the other room if you need quiet.”

  “It’s fine. My emails will distract me. I’m waiting for some paperwork from a late delivery I saw the other night.”

  He fiddled with a drill bit. “Come again?”

  “I went back to the office around eleven on Friday night to get my camera.”

  “You went alone?”

  “I needed my camera for Saturday morning and I didn’t want to leave it there all night. It’s my baby. Anyway, a delivery came in while I was there.”