An Uncivilized Romance

by Elliee Atkinson

  “I don’t need pity.”

  Mark snorted but in a much different way than Jason ever had. It was more sympathetic sounding than Sarah ever thought a snort could be. “Oh, ya do, Miss Sarah. With a husband like that? Ya do.”

  He didn’t continue and she was grateful. He took her down the small dirt road in silence, letting her rest. She didn’t want to speak. She didn’t want to be spoken to. She just wanted to rest and figure out what her next move should be. The house Jason was living in was hers, not his. Everything in it was provided by her mother or her. He had done no repairs, supplied no equipment or furniture. He had done nothing but plow and work the fields since the day he'd showed up on their doorstep looking for work.

  She jostled a little in the seat as the wagon went over a rocky part of the road, brushing her arm against Mark’s. An immediate warning sensation passed through her.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, sliding over slightly in the seat. He looked at her with kind eyes.

  “Alice and Adam will help you, Miss Sarah. I think you dearly need a friend right now.”

  The gentle words sent a wave of emotion through Sarah. She covered her face with her hands again and started to cry. Immediately, Mark pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and held it out to her. “Please don’t cry. Everything will be all right. We just have to get you settled in and rested. You’ll be all right, Sarah. We’ll do whatever we can to keep you safe.”

  “You…” she sniffed, taking the handkerchief and wiping her face with it. “You don’t even know me.”

  He shook his head. “You’re right, I don’t know you. But I know Jason. And the fact that he could hide such a beautiful wife tells me more than I need to know about his character. I never thought he was married from the way he carried on with the ladies in the…” he stopped short and looked sheepish. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to say that.”

  She shook her head. “It’s all right. It doesn’t surprise me.”

  “Well, like I say, he’s not real nice to them either. And if he can treat them that way, I can only imagine how he treats you. Ya need to get away from him, dear, before he does ya further harm.”

  Or hurts my baby, she thought but did not say aloud. She instinctively put her hands over her belly. She saw out of the corner of her eye when Mark looked down at her hands, flushed a deep red, and looked straight ahead over the backs of the horses. He said nothing else until she spoke.

  “I don’t know what to do now. I’m going to have a baby. I don’t want that man helping me raise my baby. He doesn’t know how to be a husband. He won’t know how to be a father.”

  “Did you ever meet Jason’s daddy?” Mark asked.

  Sarah looked at him in surprise. “No. He’s never even spoken of him. Did you know him?”

  Mark scratched his ear absentmindedly as he responded. “I didn’t myself, no. But he worked with my own father in the lumber mill. He didn’t have a good reputation himself. He was a mean man to his wife and two boys. Jason one of them, a’ course. And ya know, he’s said to have done… something… to his wife. She disappeared when the boys were, oh I’d say, maybe ten and twelve? Something like that. Jason was the younger of the two. His dad was brutal to him and his brother. When Daniel, that was his brother, got to be about fifteen, why, he up and ran away. None of us have ever seen him since. Jason took his cue from his brother and left at fifteen, too. That’s when he started working on that farm out there with you and your mother.”

  “If you knew he was working for us, how did you not guess we were married?”

  Mark shrugged. “Working for someone is a lot different from bein’ married to them, ain’t it?”

  Sarah couldn’t help the small smile that covered her lips. “Yes, I suppose you are right.”

  “Ya’ll didn’t get married in town, that I know.”

  Sarah shook her head. “He wanted to have a small ceremony. It was just me and him and the preacher and his wife and son. They acted as witnesses and we married in the house. I just assumed Jason told all of his friends at the saloon.”

  “Jason ain’t got no friends at the saloon, Miss Sarah, least none that I know of. He don’t hang around with anyone.”

  “He’s never brought anyone to the house. I shouldn’t be surprised.”

  “He’s just not a nice man, Miss Sarah. I’m sorry for ya. Ya got my prayers.”

  Sarah was feeling better by the time they got to Adam and Alice’s. Mark jumped down first and held out his hand to her to help her down. She took it, smiling at him.

  “I can’t imagine how long this would have taken me if I’d been walking. Thank you so much for the ride, Mark.”

  “At your service, Miss Sarah. And, like I say, I was headed out this way. I gotta talk to Adam. He’s a good friend of mine, you know.”

  “Really? How coincidental.” Sarah smiled at him.

  He shrugged. “Don’t rightly believe in coincidences, my dear. God does His work and people are where they need to be when they need to be there. I’m not saying I’m an angel. But you could if you wanted to.” His smile went from ear to ear, making her laugh. It was the best feeling in the world after what she had just been through.

  He let her walk in front of him to the front door but reached around her to knock before she had a chance to.

  “Hey, Adam! You here? Alice?”

  The door was opened by a young man of about ten. He smiled up at Mark, his eyes turning curious when he looked at Sarah. His curiosity moved to alarm and she realized she must have a large bruise on the side of her face. She tried to smile at him, even though it hurt her heart that he had to see her that way.

  “Hello, Max. Is your mother home?”

  “Are you all right, Miss Sarah?” Max and his sister Riley had visited Sarah on occasion with their mother. She had been to the house for lunch a few times before she married Jason, and a few times after without his knowledge. Max backed up allowing them to pass through.

  “Yes, I will be all right. Where’s your mama?”

  “She’s in the kitchen. I’ll get her. Adam’s out back with the horses, Uncle Mark.”

  Sarah glanced at Mark with raised eyebrows. He shook his head. “I’m not their uncle. I’m just around a lot.”

  They both chuckled as he passed her by to go through the kitchen to the back. “Hello, Alice,” she heard him saying when he went through the kitchen. “I’ve brought a friend to see you. You might want to go tend to her. She needs ya right now.”

  “Oh?” Sarah heard Alice’s voice and then saw her as she peeked around the door to the kitchen. Her happy expression immediately turned to fear and she came through to grab Sarah into a hug. “Oh, Sarah, what has that brutal man done to you? Oh, come in the kitchen and let me clean this up and give you a cool rag to put over that bruise. Oh dear, oh dear.”

  Sarah walked with her friend into the kitchen, where it was oddly cool for a place where cooking was typically going on. She sat at the table and took the wet cloth Alice dipped in a pitcher of clean water. She dabbed it gently against her cheek until she could take the temperature change and then held it there.

  “What caused this to happen, Sarah?” Alice asked and then went on without waiting for a reply. “You realize you must get yourself away from him. You absolutely must. He cannot keep hurting you this way. You don’t deserve this at all.”

  “I know, Alice. But now… well…” she dropped her eyes to Alice’s protruding belly and then looked back up at her friend. Alice raised her eyebrows.

  “Are you pregnant, Sarah?” She blinked several times. Sarah could only nod. Alice dropped herself into the chair next to her friend on the end and grabbed her free hand. “Sarah! I don’t know how to feel! I am happy for you because you will have a beautiful baby to love. But I fear for you because there is no worse man to be a father than your husband. I’m sorry to say that, Sarah. I know you love him.”

  Sarah shook her head. “I thought I loved him, Alice. But I don’t. He has… he h
as done enough to make that love disappear. He is not the man I thought he was. He was fooling me, tricking me into thinking he was someone he wasn’t. Now he wants to have total control over me. That house is mine. But I don’t know how to keep it in my possession.”

  “You must go to the sheriff. They will run him out of town.”

  “I am afraid. I am afraid he will find me and hurt me or kill me and the baby. I don’t know what to do. The sheriff can’t be around all the time. And since Jason obviously knows where I live, where would I go? How would I be safe?”

  Alice shook her head. “These are a lot of questions. We should discuss it with Adam and see what he thinks. You stay here tonight, my dear. We will take you in the morning to get some clothes and you can stay here for a while. Does Jason know where we live?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Mark, the man that brought me here, he says he is good friends with Adam.”

  Alice nodded. “He is. They have been close friends for many years.”

  “He knew Jason. He knew more about Jason than I even knew. So, if Jason knows Mark, he might know Adam, too. I don’t know. We have never discussed whether our husbands knew each other.”

  Alice nodded again. “We will talk to Adam. He will know what to do.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  SARAH AND ALICE HAVE A TALK

  SARAH AND ALICE HAVE A TALK

  Sarah woke and sat up abruptly, unsure where she was. Memories from the day before flooded her mind and she took in a deep breath, looking through the slit of the window curtains at the sun shining through. She put one hand on her belly and the other against her sore cheek. Sadness overwhelmed her as she thought about the horrible decisions she had made that lead up to where she was at that moment in time.

  “We’re going to be okay, baby,” she whispered, looking down at her flat stomach. Soon it wouldn’t be so flat and she would experience what it was like to have another human being in her life that she brought into the world. “I won’t let him hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

  There was a soft knock at the door. “Come in,” she said.

  The knob turned and Alice peeked in. When she saw that Sarah was still in bed, she slipped in without opening the door all the way, closed it behind her, and came to sit on the bed next to her friend.

  “How are you feeling this morning?” Alice asked, reaching out to touch Sarah’s face gently. Her eyes softened as she scanned the damage. “You have a large bruise here, my dear.”

  Sarah nodded. “I’m sure I do.”

  “You won’t be able to hide that from anyone. I think you should stay here for a few days.”

  “I would like that. But I need to get some of my clothes.”

  “I have some from before I got pregnant. I’m sure we would be about the same size.”

  Sarah shook her head. “I’d like to go to my house and get some of my things. I’m afraid of what he will do to my clothes and some of the things that are important to me.”

  Alice hesitated, pulling in a deep slow breath. “I don’t think it’s wise to go back just yet.”

  “I’m sure if Adam were to come along, I would be fine. He is probably at the saloon or in the field anyway. I don’t think he really cares that I’m not there.” Secretly, Sarah wondered if she had possibly killed him when she hit him with the lamp. If she had, she didn’t know how she would feel about it. If the sheriff held her responsible, she would be in prison when she had her baby. A feeling of dread overwhelmed her and she stiffened in response.

  “Are you all right?” Alice looked alarmed.

  Sarah thought about telling Alice why she was afraid. She weighed the pros and cons in her mind before saying, “I… I had to get away from him, Alice. I really did.”

  Alice nodded. “I know you did. That’s why I don’t think you should go back. Maybe we can just send Adam to get your clothes.”

  Sarah shook her head. “I can’t send Adam. He wouldn’t know what to get. I wouldn’t want to forget anything. If he discovers it after I’ve already gone, he will surely destroy it.”

  “Are you talking about something in particular?”

  “No, no. I just worry that I will leave something important behind. There are a lot of things that belonged to my mother in there. He knows how much I loved my mother. I wish I could find a way to get him out of the house altogether so I can go home and stay there.”

  “We must do what we must do to keep you safe, my girl.”

  Sarah nodded. “Yes, I don’t want anything to happen to me before I have my baby.”

  “Or after,” Alice added. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, my friend. You deserve the moon and stars. Not such heartache.” She ran one hand over Sarah’s messy hair, smoothing it out. She pulled the band from it and offered it to Sarah. “Would you like for me to do your hair? It might make you feel happier if you are looking your best. He will know what he’s about to lose.”

  “I don’t reckon he will ever understand what he’s about to lose.” She tried not to think that he might not be alive to know what he was about to lose.

  Alice tilted her head to the side. “You are acting very mysterious. What are you not telling me? You know it’s okay to talk to me. I will never tell any of your secrets and I will always stand up for you. I’m on your side, Sarah. Talk to me.”

  Sarah hesitated, still unsure whether she wanted to reveal her true fear to her friend or not. However, if she told no one and she went back or someone else found him the way he was, she would look very guilty. It would seem that she had left him like that and ran away. That was murder. She would go to prison.

  She swallowed and lowered her head. “He was hurting me. Threatening me. And I hit him on the head with a lantern. I… I worry that he… he might be…”

  Alice raised his eyebrows. “What? Where were you? What was happening?”

  “He… he was on top of me and I was afraid he was going to kill me and the baby. He was going to hurt me some more, I know he was. I would be in much worse shape if I hadn’t grabbed hold of that lantern and hit him over the head with it.”

  Alice nodded. “I believe you. I still think you should not go back there.”

  “I have to make sure he isn’t lying there dead in the living room,” Sarah replied quietly.

  Alice looked away, grimacing. “That would be a gruesome sight, my dear. Perhaps not something you’d like to see…”

  Sarah sighed. “I have to go, Alice. But I don’t want to go alone. Please say you will go with me.”

  Alice grunted. “You certainly aren’t going alone, dearie. I wouldn’t allow it. Adam wouldn’t allow it. We discussed it last night and he wants you to stay here, as well.”

  “Did you tell him I am going to have a baby?” Sarah didn’t know why she was afraid of Adam knowing her situation. He already knew that it was her husband that had given her a blackened eye and cheek. His own wife was also pregnant, so he was no doubt happy for her in some way.

  “Of course, I did,” Alice nodded. “I hope you are all right with that. Adam is a good man. He would never do anything to hurt you.”

  Sarah felt like crying. She covered her face with her hands. The motion brought some pain as she pressed too hard on her bruised face. She pulled her hands away and looked at Alice. “You are so lucky, Alice. So blessed to have a man like him by your side. I love you both for helping me.”

  Alice leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Sarah’s shoulders. “We love you, too, Sarah. We want you safe. We want you and your baby to be safe. We really do. And we’ll do everything we can to help you until you are safe. There’s no need to cry anymore. We want to see you smiling again. You are one of my sweetest friends. I truly mean that.”

  “Thank you, Alice,” Sarah couldn’t help the tears that came to her eyes. She didn’t want to suppress them because it gave her some relief to cry. Plus, her tears were not all from sadness but from feeling the love that only people who truly care about you can give. Sh
e hadn’t truly felt it since her mother died. That was so long ago, she had almost forgotten what it was like to have comforting arms around her.

  “It seems strange to me that I could be pregnant, Alice,” she said, her voice muffled from being pressed into Alice’s shoulder. Alice pulled back and looked into her eyes, a look of amusement on her face.

  “Oh? And why is that? You do know how all that works, don’t you?”

  The funny question made Sarah giggle. She nodded. “Of course, I do. It’s just that… well, we haven’t… we don’t… I mean not very often, you know, and… it was never very loving or anything. He doesn’t kiss me at all. He did for the first few months of our marriage but after that… no, no kisses.”

  Alice looked sad. “Oh, that is terrible. You deserve to have a man who kisses you every day all over your face to make you happy and make you feel beautiful.”

  “I’d be willing to bet that’s what Adam does for you.” Sarah batted her eyelashes at Alice, who giggled, putting one hand over her mouth.

  “Oh, Sarah. We won’t talk about that, will we?”

  Sarah laughed. “So he does! I see!” She continued to laugh. The feeling was so much better than crying, even when she cried for the right reasons. “But as I was saying, it seems strange because it’s been so infrequent. Why it hasn’t happened for at least four or five weeks. So, it seems like it was supposed to happen. But why would God want me to have a child with such a man? Surely He would want me with a much better man.”

  “We cannot even try to guess what God has planned for us, Sarah. You must be confident that there is a reason behind it all and try to raise your child as someone who makes a great impact on this world. An impact in a good way.”

  “I won’t be able to do that with Jason. He won’t allow me to raise a good child. He will probably scare the child and make it afraid of the world.”