Creeper Family Vacation

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Creeper Family Vacation Page 4

by Greyson Mann


  I was pretty proud of myself for that one. Maybe I don’t battle ocelots and silverfish, but I DO have genius ideas sometimes. Just saying …

  Mom had a pretty good idea too. She said if we were going to hike into a crazy maze of tunnels, we should mark our way. So she used a piece of coal to draw an arrow on the wall every time we took a new turn.

  But man, we walked SO far! My legs were starting to cramp up, and I was so hungry, I could have eaten a rotten potato.

  Then I heard Dad hollering, and I was SURE the old man had been bitten by a cave spider. I would have run over and saved him, but Chloe beat me to it. And when I heard her laughing, I knew we weren’t dealing with cave spiders.

  Nope, we were dealing with something WAY different.

  Dad had found EMERALDS.

  There was a whole wall of glittering green emeralds, and Dad already had his pickaxe out. But when he struck the wall, Mom hollered, “STOP!”

  She pointed toward the ceiling. I could see water dripping, but then Mom said it wasn’t water—it was LAVA. An orange trickle of it ran down the wall.

  “Saul the Slime said to watch out for that,” she reminded Dad. “And not to mine if we heard it!”

  But Dad didn’t remember. Or maybe he just didn’t care about anything Saul the Slime had to say. He raised his pickaxe again, but then he finally lowered it and said something I can’t repeat.

  I guess for Dad, walking away from emeralds was as hard as me walking away from a sack of rotten potatoes. He didn’t say a word the whole hike home. And it was a LONG hike too.

  We made it back to camp just before dawn. And then suddenly, Dad was in a good mood again. He started whistling as he unrolled his sleeping bag, and he cracked his usual joke.

  So now I’m trying to journal. But Dad is acting REALLY weird.

  And I’m way too tired—and hungry—to figure out why.

  All I can say is, I hope our next hike leads us to some NOT very rotten potatoes.

  DAY 14: SATURDAY NIGHT

  So when I woke up tonight, I noticed something right away. I suddenly had more room in the tent. WAY more room.

  It wasn’t because Chloe had decided to move over and give me space. (AS IF.) And Mom, Cate, and Cammy were still snoozing, too. But there was a big hole where Dad usually slept. And his sleeping bag was rolled up into a ball.

  I sat up so fast, I hit my head on the torch dangling from the ceiling of our tent.

  “Dad?” I whispered.

  Nothing.

  Did I mention that Dad is an expert sneaker-offer? He can creep out of a room without anyone seeing him go. It’s like he just disappears—drinks a potion of invisibility and vanishes. POOF.

  I stuck my head outside the tent and shivered. Our campfire had died out, and none of the other creeper families were up yet.

  But all of a sudden Chloe was awake. And she caught on right away to what was going on.

  “Where’d he go?” she whispered. “Out hunting for emeralds?”

  As soon as she said it, I knew it was true. Dad had taken off on his own, which was another VERY bad idea.

  We woke up Mom right away, and she was all like, “I’m sure he just went for a little stroll. He’ll be back in time for dinner.” Yadi-yadi-ya. Mom could blow smoke all night long, but Chloe and I knew the truth.

  While Mom heated up the last of the mushroom stew, I watched for Dad. I could tell Mom was watching for him too, but she wouldn’t let on that she was worried.

  Then we ate our stew. STILL no Dad.

  By midnight, Mom said SHE was going to take a little walk, and that Chloe, Cate, and I needed to babysit Cammy. I watched Mom take off down the railway—probably in search of Saul the Slime. Maybe Dad didn’t believe in tour guides, but Mom sure did.

  Pretty soon, we heard a rumble on the tracks, and Mom popped out of a tunnel riding in a mine cart behind Saul. She hollered at us that they were going looking for Dad.

  When I said I wanted to go too, Mom said NO. Absolutely not. So how’s a creeper supposed to kill time waiting to find out if his old man fell into a lava pit or got eaten by cave spiders?

  I did what I always do when I’m bored or nervous. I wrote in my journal. And then I rapped.

  Cammy likes my raps. But Cate? Not so much. She told me to go outside if I was going to be “loud and obnoxious.” Seriously? Some creepers have NO appreciation for good music. She was probably still mad at me about the smudged-makeup incident.

  But outside, I found Chloe staring at the campfire. I could tell by the look in her eyes that my Evil Twin was scheming. Except this time, she wasn’t coming up with a plan to get me in trouble or to make my life miserable. She was coming up with a plan to save DAD. She said that if Dad isn’t back by dawn, she’s going looking for him.

  But as we stared at the fire, Chloe starting getting antsy. She paced back and forth. She hissed. And then she announced that she wasn’t going to wait. She was going NOW.

  I could have let her go on her own. But then I remembered what Dad said about Cammy and Chloe being the brave ones. And if there’s EVER a time for ME to be brave, it’s when Dad is in trouble. Right?

  Right. (GULP)

  So I told Chloe to wait for ten minutes so I could write down our plan. Because if we don’t come back from this alive—and I’m just saying IF—someone needs to know where we went and why.

  So if you’re reading this, Mom, just remember that Gerald Creeper Jr. did a BRAVE thing and crept off into the wild in search of his missing father.

  If I don’t come home, please tell Sam that Sticky the Squid is his responsibility now.

  And if I DO come home, please remember that my favorite meal is roasted pork chops and crispy potatoes. And it would sure taste good after days of wandering around in cave tunnels. Just saying …

  Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the wet spots on the previous page are NOT tears. I am NOT crying right now. I was just drooling thinking about crispy potatoes.

  HONEST.

  DAY 15: SUNDAY

  You know how two people can remember the SAME night TOTALLY differently?

  Well that’s what happened to Chloe and me. We had pretty much the worst night of our lives, and she came out smiling and I came out … well, NOT smiling.

  It started with Chloe telling Cate that we were going for a short walk. And then with us taking off toward that abandoned mineshaft, even though I TOLD Chloe we shouldn’t go back there.

  We somehow found the path through the tunnels that Mom had marked with coal. But when we found that room of emeralds, Dad wasn’t there. And the lava trickle running down the wall was a lava STREAM now.

  I told Chloe we had to leave that room FAST. Then I saw the giant cobweb stretched across the doorway. Chloe had already run straight through it, but when I tried to follow her, I got stuck!

  That’s right. STUCK. In a cobweb. Woven by a giant cave spider. With glowing red eyes. Who was probably going to come back any second now.

  I managed to bust out of that web—with sheer strength, I think. (Chloe says she helped by breaking the web first, but we’re gonna have to agree to disagree on that one.)

  We ran down a long tunnel, but pretty soon, I KNEW we were lost. There were no more arrows marked on walls. And when we ran through the tunnel for a SECOND time, I told Chloe we were just running in circles now. GREAT.

  Instead of coming up with a plan, Chloe just got mad. That girl has NO patience. She said that if we couldn’t find our way out, she’d just BLOW her way out.

  REALLY? Who in the Overworld thinks that blowing up in a CAVE is a good idea???

  My Evil Twin does, I guess.

  She blew a hole right through the wall. And then we found ourselves back in one of the tunnels that Mom had marked with an arrow.

  So I guess Chloe DID find us a way out. But she also freaked out a whole colony of BATS.

  Did I mention I’m not a fan of bats? They started swooping all around me, showing off their fangs.

  But
when I tried to dodge one, I ran into something even scarier.

  Another COBWEB.

  Except this time, I couldn’t get out.

  Now this next part, I’ve really been trying to forget. But I think it’s important to give you all the facts. I mean, if something DOES happen to me down here in this mine, I want creepers everywhere to know that I, Gerald Creeper Jr., took on a cave spider. And lived to tell about it.

  So Chloe must have run off in a different direction. I could hear her, but I couldn’t see her. I hollered for her to come get me out of this web, but she took FOREVER to show up.

  Meanwhile, I heard the SCARIEST sound I have ever heard in my whole life—even scarier than a growling ocelot who wants my pork chop leftovers.

  Yup, you guessed it.

  I heard the screech of a SPIDER. (Chloe says that I was the only mob squealing, but I think the girl has some serious memory issues.)

  So SOMEHOW I got out of that web, but not before getting bitten on the foot.

  Chloe says I did NOT get bitten—that I just stepped on a sharp rock.

  But I saw my whole life pass before my eyes, I swear I did. I saw little Gerald Creeper taking his first steps.

  I saw my first day at Mob Middle School, when I met Sam the Slime.

  I saw my squid Sticky. I even had the chance to say goodbye to him as that cave spider’s venom started running through my veins …

  Now everything gets a little fuzzy after that. Chloe tells me she had to carry me out of the tunnel because I was bawling and babbling like a baby creeper. But she’d better not repeat that to ANYONE. A creeper has a reputation to protect, for crying out loud.

  So by the time we made it back to camp, I was all set to tell MY version of the story—to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I mean.

  But guess what?

  There was DAD, sitting outside our tent, eating what smelled an awful lot like crispy potatoes.

  Suddenly, my foot didn’t hurt at all anymore. I ran toward that campfire so fast, I nearly fell into it.

  But there was only a teeny, tiny pile of potatoes left! And when I reached for them, Chloe said that I’d better let HER have them—or she might tell everyone how I was a big crybaby during our hike. SERIOUSLY???

  That’s when Mom said we both had some explaining to do. “Where did you run off to?” she asked. She kind of grabbed the potatoes, holding them hostage until we spilled our guts.

  Chloe and I both started talking at the same time. If I was going to impress Dad with my spider bite, I was going to have to get my story out FAST—before Chloe told hers.

  But when we started fighting, Mom shut us right down. “Never mind,” she said. “Your dad has some news.”

  Dad didn’t just tell us his news. He SHOWED us. He opened up a sack and poured out a whole pile of EMERALDS. “We’re rich!” he announced.

  Well finding emeralds IS pretty cool. And finding potatoes that weren’t rotten was almost even cooler.

  But how was I supposed to celebrate when the potatoes were already gone? And when I’d just had the biggest adventure of my life, and no one wanted to hear about it? And when Mom said we were leaving the Extreme Hills tomorrow, because we’d had enough “extreme” adventures?

  When I went to bed this morning, I made a big point of limping off to the tent. I mean, it would have been nice if someone had noticed. If someone had asked if I’d gotten hurt or bitten by a spider or something.

  But no one did.

  DAY 16: MONDAY

  So we’re on our way to the desert. I should be excited about that, right? I mean, I’m going to meet my idol, Kid Z, ANY day now.

  But for some reason, I’m feeling kind of MEH about the whole thing.

  Maybe it’s because everyone else in my family has had some big, brave adventure. I mean, Cammy tamed an ocelot. Chloe battled silverfish. Mom climbed jungle trees to get cocoa beans. And DAD found emeralds, for crying out loud!

  I THOUGHT I’d had a big adventure with the cave spider. But Chloe still says I never actually got bitten. Now that I think about it, if I’d been bitten by a spider, I’d probably be dead.

  So … maybe I did just step on a sharp rock.

  Cate’s not having the greatest vacation either. It’s getting hot outside, and her makeup is starting to melt. She has these green and black rivers running down her face, but I’m not going to be the creep to point that out.

  Nope, I’m going to keep my head down and pretend like I don’t see anything, just like Mom is pretending she doesn’t see me writing in my journal while riding in a moving cart. I guess after everything we’ve been through, me throwing up by the side of the rails is the LEAST of Mom’s worries.

  DAY 17: TUESDAY

  So you’ll NEVER believe what just happened.

  WE RAN OUT OF COAL.

  Yup, the furnace cart just sputtered to a stop. I guess Dad forgot to stop for coal as we were leaving the Extreme Hills. So now Mom is mad at Dad, and Dad is mad at … the furnace cart.

  When Mom finally stopped hissing, she said that Dad isn’t really MAD. He’s just worried. Because we’re on the edge of the desert now, with no coal, so who knows when we’ll get the cart going again?

  REALLY Mom? Was that supposed to make me feel BETTER?

  Now I’M worried too. I mean, what if we starve out here? Or run out of water? Or have to walk into the desert and get lost? SHEESH. This family vacation is turning into a DAYMARE.

  And for the record, if anyone is reading this, the wet spot right here is NOT a tear. It’s a drop of sweat. Because it’s really hot out here. And if we’re going to be stranded in the middle of nowhere and DYING of heat, we might as well have gone to the Nether. Just saying …

  DAY 18: WEDNESDAY

  Dear Sam,

  If you’re reading this, then you know your best friend Gerald Creeper Jr. is gone. I tried to make it, Sam. I really did. I used the last of my strength to write this note to you.

  Don’t mourn for me. Move on with your life and find a new best friend. You deserve that. (Just not Ziggy Zombie, though, okay? I mean, have some self-respect.)

  Oh, and please take good care of Sticky. Put a picture of me near his aquarium so he remembers his good buddy Gerald. Tell him that he was a good squid and that he was loved.

  And if you ever meet Kid Z, tell him that I tried to visit him in Sandstone. Share some of my rap songs with him. (But tell him that if he ever wants to perform one of them, he’ll have to pay my estate a few emeralds. That’s only fair, right?)

  Well, I must go now, Sam—toward the light. I think I see Great-Grandma Creeper waiting there for me in the great beyond.

  Wait, hold on a sec. That’s NOT Great-Grandma Creeper. I think it’s a … Could it be a … Is that a LLAMA???

  DAY 19: THURSDAY

  Yup, that was a llama alright. A whole herd of them in fact.

  I thought my mind was playing tricks on me at first, I really did. But I guess llamas are pretty common out here in the desert. It’s how mobs get around the sand dunes (especially mobs who have just run out of coal).

  So when a spider jockey rode up leading a herd of llamas, Dad was more than happy to start loading our luggage onto a llama’s back.

  But me? Not so much.

  First of all, I’m not a fan of spider jockeys. This skeleton was riding a ginormous spider, which gave me flashbacks of my cave spider incident.

  Also, I’m not really a llama rider. How do I know that, you ask? Well, I don’t. But I tried riding pigs once, and I know how THAT turned out. (I don’t even want to talk about it. In fact, I’m kind of sorry I even brought it up.)

  Anyway, I told Dad I wasn’t big on this llama-riding deal. And you know what he said to me?

  He said, “We’re not stopping.”

  He wasn’t singing “99 Bottles of Potion” on the wall anymore, but Dad was STILL bound and determined to finish this family vacation.

  So I got on a llama. What choice did I have? But my llama must no
t have appreciated Dad’s attitude any more than I did, because you know what happened next? He SPIT in Dad’s face.

  I thought Dad was going to lose his gunpowder, but he didn’t. He just wiped his face, took a deep breath, and said to my llama, “We’re NOT stopping. I mean it.”

  Then Dad got on his own llama, and before you know it, we were all heading across the desert toward Sandstone. All I could see for miles around were sand dunes and dead bushes. It started to creep me out a little, I’m not gonna lie.

  But I kept thinking about Kid Z. I’d do ANYTHING to meet that rapper. And I gotta say, it WOULD be kind of cool to show up at his door riding a llama.

  But you know what’s NOT cool? Camping out in the desert.

  When our spider jockey guide said we had to stop and pitch a tent, Dad was all like, “We’re NOT stopping.” But our guide said it was almost dawn, and that he would burn up in the sun. (I guess he has sensitive skin like I do. Did I mention that heat makes me itch?)

  Dad couldn’t really argue with that one. So now I’m sitting in a SCORCHING hot tent in a sleeping bag filled with sand, trying not to itch. I’m also trying to ignore Mom, who is right outside our tent collecting cactus clippings. Is she REALLY going to bring those poky plants home to our garden?

  Dad is lying beside me, trying to ignore the llama that’s staring at him through the door of the tent. For some reason, my llama REALLY has it out for Dad!

 

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