The Lone Wolf's Lass

by Mia Pride

  “Sorry?” Brianna had not yet heard all of Ferghus’s last words and was very eager to hear them. “What did Ferghus bid him do, exactly?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

  Keegan scratched his head anxiously and wrinkled his nose. “The Wolf did not tell you?”

  “We have had little chance to speak of it.” She had spent most of her time crying or sleeping.

  “Mayhap I should just allow him the opportunity to tell you, then.”

  “I think you need to tell me yourself since you were privy to the conversation. ’Tis my life we speak of.” She had little to no patience left in her anymore.

  “Ferghus bid Robert to care for you and to raise your child as his own,” Keegan said wearily. “He demanded Rob marry you.”

  All the blood drained from her face and her stomach dropped. “Did he? What did Rob say?”

  “He eventually promised, just before Ferghus passed.”

  “But he refused before that?” she prodded. She did not want to marry Rob but his refusal still stung. Why did Robert dislike her so? She wanted her husband back. The thought of another man, even Robert, taking over the role of father to their child was too heavy to think on just now.

  “It was a lot to take in at that moment. He did not want to believe his brother was dying, Bri. Do not take offense.”

  She stammered before letting out a snort. “Take offense? I hate Robert. He is a foul, loathsome man and I would not marry him for anything.”

  “I am sorry you feel that way.” Her body stiffened as her eyes hesitantly shifted toward the door. Curse all the gods! Robert had walked in at some point during the conversation and had heard her angry words. They were true, so she would try to not feel bad for speaking them. “I made a promise to my brother to care for you, Brianna. I will not walk away from that promise, nay matter how much you refuse me.”

  Her eyes narrowed and a flush filled her cheeks. How dare Ferghus assume she would marry his brother? How dare Robert believe she would accept him after he called her a faithless whore? “You mean to force yourself on me, then?” she groused and crossed her arms over her large breasts.

  “What?” he almost shouted as he stepped closer to her. His body towered over hers and she could see the anger in his deep blue eyes. “I am a man of honor! You believe I would force myself on you? You think I wish to marry my brother’s wife? Are you mad?”

  “I… I…” she could not speak or think clearly. Between her grief, lack of sleep, and sudden shock from this new information, her mind had seemingly shut down on her.

  “Mayhap I should leave,” Keegan said softly as he backed toward the door.

  “Mayhap you should, Keegan,” Robert roared. “I was coming to tell her on my own. You had to come over here and cause trouble, as always.”

  “He was only trying to help, Rob,” Brianna defended Keegan, a move she never thought she would ever make.

  Robert grunted and snarled. “Only trying to help himself,” he responded.

  “Brianna,” Keegan said softly, ignoring Robert. “You know I have always held affection for you in my heart. You are grieving now, but Ferghus was right. You will have a child soon and need a man to help raise him and care for you. I will leave you now, but know that you have other options. I would gladly be your protector should you wish.”

  “Get out!” Robert hollered, pointing to the door and taking a threatening step toward Keegan. “Do not use her disdain for me as a way into her life. I am her kin! I will protect her. Get out!” he repeated.

  Keegan narrowed his eyes at Robert, clearly not afraid of his outburst, though Brianna was shaking with fear. She was not afraid of Robert. She was afraid of her uncertain future, without Ferghus. She did not want another husband. She had once dreamed of marrying Robert, but he squashed that dream beneath his large, muddy boots. She had moved on with her life and found love with another man who never dared to shout at her or call her horrid names. Now she was being forced by her husband, from beyond the grave, to wed with Robert? She would not have it.

  Although, it sounded as if Robert felt much the same way but for some reason that only raised her ire. Before his cruel words to her a year ago, she had only ever been kind to him. What right did he have to treat her as unworthy of his love? He was unworthy of hers!

  Keegan left and shut the door with a loud bang. She was alone with Robert again and had no idea what to expect. “I see you have made yourself at home,” she gestured to his clothes all over the floor.”

  “I have brought my possessions, aye.”

  “I know Ferghus bade you care for me, Robert, but ’tis unnecessary. I can care for myself.”

  “And what of the babe?” he questioned with his arms crossed defensively.

  “I can care for my own child. Many women have done so. You need not burden yourself with me. I am but a faithless whore, after all.” He at least had the decency to flinch at her words. Good. She was hurting in so many ways. All she wanted to do was sleep, but how could she with Robert towering above her with his scowl?

  Robert turned from her and with a roar, punched the side of her wall so hard, he cracked its surface and made her shriek.

  * * *

  It was too much for him to bear. His brother was gone and had made him promise to care for a woman who would turn away his help. She was ready to bear a child any day. What did he know of babes? She did not want him in her home, that much was clear. But his promise to Ferghus was on his soul. He would not back down from it. He would stay, even if she spat insults at him.

  His grief took on the form of rage and his rage had put a hole through her thin walls. Now he needed to patch that up. Curse him and his temper! In truth, he usually had strong control over his emotions but where Brianna was concerned, he seemed to lose all sense of himself. Staring at the cracked wall and then down at his throbbing, bleeding fist, he took deep breaths and closed his eyes. Ferghus had asked him to care for his family, not come in here, shout at his expectant wife and destroy their walls. He was failing already, but blast! Keegan’s offer to take care of her himself had only further fueled Robert’s fire. The man would do aught to get his hands on Brianna, and Robert knew he had brought up Ferghus’s last wish to intentionally pit himself against Robert.

  Even through his many layers of grief, he knew one thing for certain. He still loved Brianna so much it hurt. He wanted more than anything to be her protector, to marry her and care for her and the child. It felt like a betrayal of his brother, who had only been gone a day, but Ferghus put him in this position.

  “I am sorry,” he murmured begrudgingly.

  “For what exactly? For putting a hole in my wall just now, or for calling me a faithless whore?”

  He grimaced and turned to look at her. His wrist throbbed with pain. It was the same wrist he had injured in the battle. Still, he pushed the pain aside. It was time to move forward with Brianna and make amends. “You did not deserve to be called such a thing.”

  She straightened her spine and flared her eyes at him. “I know I did not. The question is, why did you call me it?”

  He stopped and took her in for a silent moment. Her eyes were almost swollen shut from the violence of her tears and her cheeks were much redder than usual, probably due to her anger at him. She was suffering greatly, and it was clear his words, even if spoken a year ago, still added to that pain. He had no more reason to lie. Ferghus was gone now, as much as they both grieved for him. He would have stood by in silence and allowed her to hate him for the rest of her life if it meant Ferghus was able to keep the woman he loved. Brianna had been prepared to throw it all away and marry Robert instead. He could not have allowed that. But now, if he was to take care of her and honor Ferghus’s wishes, he needed to try to reverse the hurt he had intentionally inflicted.

  He stepped closer to her, awkwardly. Opening up emotionally did not come naturally to him. “I did it to hurt you.”

  “It worked,” she replied wryly. “But… why? The moment I finally told y
ou how I felt about you, you turned my love into hate. And you did it intentionally. I know you did.”

  “I did it so you would not see how much I loved you,” he finally whispered, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. He had kept those feelings to himself for so many years, not daring to think them, let alone speak them. And yet, a cold shiver of terror slid up his spine when he saw her grimace at his words. He deserved it, but it still hurt. He had sacrificed his own happiness for years and now he was paying the price.

  “Nay, Robert O’Faolain! I will not hear your lies! Do not do this to me now, I beg of you!” she wailed, and shook with emotion. “Ferghus has demanded you marry me, so you are being honorable in trying to convince me that you love me, but I am not a fool! I know how you feel about me! And I feel the same way, so do not try to suddenly be kind to me after all this time, only because you now hope to keep your word to Ferghus! I will gladly release you of your vow. Ferghus must not have known how you truly feel about me, or else he would not have asked such a thing of you!”

  Brianna was gripping her unborn child and wincing. He could see her belly moving and wished to comfort her. She was becoming irate and he needed to get her calm again. “Are you all right, Bri?” he asked and stepped forward, plopping down on the bed beside her as she grit her teeth and gripped her belly. He put a hand on her stomach and felt it seizing, as hard as a rock. She growled through her teeth and hunched forward. “Bri. Are you all right?”

  The tension in her body released and she plopped back against the bed. “Aye. ’Tis been happening frequently. The babe will be here soon.”

  “Shall I fetch the healer?” Robert started to panic. He knew he would need to care for her and the babe, but it had only been a day since Ferghus died. Robert had no idea what to do or how to care for a child or a woman in labor.

  “Nay,” she sighed. “When I say the babe will be here soon, I mean any day, not this moment.”

  He nodded and relaxed slightly. He needed more time to wrap his mind around his new reality. In this reality, he was finally free to be with the only woman he had ever loved, but at the expense of his brother’s life. It felt like a betrayal. Aye, Ferghus demanded it and knew Robert wanted it, but not like this. Never like this. And she hated him, truly. How could he make her see how he truly felt without feeling like he was stealing his brother’s wife or making her feel like she was betraying the memory of her husband? It all felt like too much, too soon. If not for a babe on the way, he would have more time to grieve his brother and slowly show Brianna that he was not the brute she believed him to be.

  But, he did not have time. Her babe was coming and she needed to accept his help. She needed to feel protected, not threatened, and his temper flares were not helping his cause.

  “Brianna. Please listen to me. I need you to understand a few things—”

  “Owww!” she roared, making him jump out of his skin. Her beautiful face scrunched up as she gripped her belly once more, baring her teeth and tensing up. Once again, he saw her large belly bulging against her dress and he placed a hand on it, feeling how hard her stomach grew. A sheen of sweat broke out on her forehead and he instinctively wiped it away with his tunic sleeve.

  Her eyes popped open and her face turned white. Pure panic shone across her face. “Bri? What is it? Is it the babe?” He was terrified. He had no idea what to expect, do, or say. In that moment of terror, the thought of losing her or the child washed over him with an all-consuming chill. Nay. He could not survive the loss of Brianna or her child. That child would be all that was left of Ferghus. “What can I do, Bri?” He gripped her hand hard and leaned closer to her face as she panted with strain.

  “Get the healer. She is also the midwife. My water has broken!”

  “Water?” He had no idea what she was speaking of. Was he such a fool? He had spent so much of his life training as a warrior, traveling, or fighting for his king. The only time he had spent with women was in their beds, only for a night, before continuing his travels. He had been careful never to spread his seed and was therefore clueless about what happened when a man’s seed took root.

  “My water, Robert!” When his brow furrowed in confusion, she growled and hiked her green dress up high and his eyes bulged at her behavior. He did not want to see her nether region… not at this horrid moment! He had always dreamed of seeing Brianna spread before him, wanting and awaiting his touch, but not while she prepared to deliver his brother’s child!

  Then he saw what she referred to. Between her thighs, though not so high as to expose herself, she had raised her dress enough to show him the soaking furs beneath her. He hopped out of the bed and ran for the door. “I will fetch Abigael! She will know what to do!” Abigael was Queen Ceara’s mother and the tuath’s healer. Apparently, she was the midwife, as well. “I shall tell her your... water broke,” he said with a confused frown and a nervous swipe of his dark hair.

  “Aye, Robert. Go!” He nodded and headed for the door. Just as his hand was on the latch, he heard her shaking voice call to him from behind. “Robert…” he turned to look at her over his shoulder. “Please. Be quick. I do not wish to be alone. I am afraid.” Aye, of course, she was afraid. She was about to birth her first child only a night after losing the father. Guilt for the frigid way he had treated her in the past consumed him. There must have been less hurtful ways of hiding his love for her than calling her names and scowling. She was afraid and he was certain in that moment that she needed his tenderness.

  He stormed back toward the bed, kneeling by her side and gripping her face between his hands. “I vow, Brianna. I will return swiftly. You shall not be alone. I will be here for you and the babe, always.”

  She tried to shake her head but he gripped her face harder in his hands. “Aye. Always, Brianna.” Saying those words out loud did something to him. The babe she bore was not his own and still, he was consumed with an intense desire to love and cherish them both as his own. But they were not his own; they belonged to Ferghus. One moment he was determined to confess his undying love for the woman and the next he felt ill with grief and guilt for thinking such things about his brother’s wife. He wanted to kiss her but instead pulled away swiftly and ran for the door. Stepping out into the cold night, his breath instantly turned to a visible puff in the frigid air.

  “Ferghus,” he whispered into the night as he looked up at the one bright star still twinkling through the haze of low clouds. “You are about to become a father, brother.”

  A cold wind wrapped around him, yet it felt comforting and familiar. Then as if from a distance, a whisper caught his ear before it drifted away on the wind.

  “Nay, Robert,” the soft voice brushed past his ear. “You are.”

  A chill ran through Robert and he knew Ferghus was still with them, watching and urging Robert to do what he knew was right in his heart.

  First, he would find the midwife and see his brother’s child… now his child… safely into this world. Then he would spend every moment of the rest of his life convincing Brianna of his love and praying she would accept him as he was, arse and all.

  Chapter Eight

  Her pains were growing stronger and stronger. She was not ready for this. Och, just a day ago she could not wait to have this babe out of her womb and into her arms, but that had been when Ferghus was with her. Now, she was all alone, although Robert seemed insistent upon staying with her. And while that thought should have comforted her, having the man stay with her only out of loyalty to Ferghus made her wish to rebel. “Curse you for leaving me like this, Ferghus!” she wailed into the empty room. How she missed him, his kind smile, and infectious laugh. If she focused hard enough, she could swear she heard it now, laughing at her as she cursed him for leaving, as if he had had any choice in the matter.

  Another contraction gripped her and she screamed at the intense squeezing pain in her abdomen. It was the most painful thing she had ever physically felt in her entire life. She was scared beyond measure. If anything were
to happen to her wee babe…

  “We are here, Brianna, all is well.” She heard Abigael’s soothing voice come through her suddenly open door. A slight calm came over her. She trusted Abigael with her life and the life of her child. She was the queen’s mother and had taken especially good care of her father during his illness. The woman was a talented healer who was also said to be touched by the gods with the gift of visions and speaking to the deceased. She prayed Abigael did not touch her and see death in her future. She had had enough of death in her life. First her sweet mama, then her papa, and the gut-wrenching pain of losing Ferghus. She could suffer no more loss.

  Ginny and Agatha came through the door as well and, though she was shocked to see Ferghus’s mother and sister, Brianna felt more comfort wash over her. Her child would be born surrounded by love from his father’s family. It made her feel less alone.

  “Are you well, Bri?” Agatha asked as she stepped forward and clutched Brianna’s hand. Brianna tried to nod or respond but a wave of intense pain gripped her belly.

  “Abi… gael!” she wailed, clutching her abdomen. Robert was by her side the next moment. She felt his strong hand slip into hers and squeeze. She squeezed back so hard she thought she might break his hand… if it was not already broken from having punched her wall. If she hurt him, the man showed no outward sign of pain.

  “I will examine you, mo leanbh.” She loved it when Abigael called her her ‘child’. Not having a mother of her own, it was soothing to be called that endearment even if it were not true. Abigael abruptly lifted her skirt, exposing her from the waist down. With a gasp, Brianna looked over at Robert. She had not thought of it until just this moment, but she would be fully exposed during this birthing and she did not want him to see her woman parts, especially when they are being ripped open.

  She started to panic but was relieved to see that Robert had his gaze focused very purposefully on her face. She smiled softly at him, thankful he knew better than to try to look. He smiled back and squeezed her hand. “I am right here, Bri. I shall not leave your side.” She nodded and stared into his dark blue eyes. By the gods, it felt horribly wrong to love a man so much, especially when he was her deceased husband’s brother. Try as she had, she could not stop loving the man. It was a habit of a lifetime. She had loved Robert for so long, that even her resentment could not stifle those emotions.