If Your Wife Only Knew

by Cydney Rax

“Have you ever seen John Legend in concert?”

  “He’s dope. He puts on a good show.”

  “I wish I could do fun stuff like going to concerts.”

  “Why don’t you?”

  “I-I just haven’t.”

  “You that shy? Nahhh, you not shy. If you feel cool around somebody, you open up.”

  She smiled and nodded and began pouring out her heart to Rashad, telling him about all her dreams and wishes for her life.

  “I’ve had it hard in the past. Every day was filled with uncertainty. I worked my ass off to get my degree and I held down a job at the same time. Studying was tough and I didn’t know if I was ever going to make it. And the situation with my ex didn’t help. He was on the wrong side of the law, if you know what I mean. But since I’ve been in Texas, I have a feeling things are about to change for the better.” She smiled at Rashad. And he smiled back.

  The next day when he came over, Nicole tried a new recipe.

  She beat the chocolate batter with an electric mixer till it was light and fluffy. She scraped the bowl with her spoon. It was batter for a berries and cookies cake.

  “Here,” she said. “Lick this and tell me if it tastes good.” He looked at her and immediately opened his mouth. He hungrily licked the spoon.

  “You like that?” she asked.

  “Nope.”

  “What?”

  “Just kidding. I love it. It’s sweet. And tasty. You’re good with your hands, too, Nicky.”

  That’s what he started calling her soon after he started working at her home. Kiara knew he’d accepted the job to do some remodeling at Nicole’s. So far she couldn’t tell if anything had jumped off between them. Rashad became more diligent about acting like he was on the up-and-up, and actually, compared to times past, he was on his best behavior. He kept decent working hours, except occasionally he’d be gone for long stretches on Sunday. But his seemingly changed ways didn’t fool Kiara. She knew her husband, and knew he could revert to his old ways. So she kept his luggage front and center in their hallway, ready to deposit more of his belongings in it if necessary.

  Meanwhile, throughout the month of June, the more time Rashad spent at Nicole’s, the comfier they became with each other. She let him bring his iPod and he hooked it up to her speakers so he could listen to his favorites: August Alsina, Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole, and Childish Gambino.

  “Oh, you kickin’ it with my favs,” she said and started swerving to the music as if she was at a concert. “I like just about everybody out here . . . except that punk-ass Trey Songz. He’s suspect.”

  “I hate him with his goat-sounding ass. Oh na na na.” Rashad started making howling noises and pretended like he was baying at the moon. “America, you know I have to pop that corn.”

  “Pop that corn? You’re so silly, Rashad.”

  They fell out laughing and Nicole couldn’t remember the last time she had such a fun, relaxing day. The good time she was having helped to erase the memories of what she had suffered in Alabama.

  Rashad worked while Nicole kept him company, asking him questions. She was starting to become attracted to him. Of course, in her head, the good ones were always taken. But she wanted to get inside his head and see what type of man he was.

  “How long you been married?”

  “Where’d that question come from?”

  “I don’t know. Just asking.”

  He told her, “A decade.”

  “Cool. I’ve always wanted to get married,” she said in a dreamy voice. “I heard that a woman is supposed to let the man find her, but in this Gabrielle Union era, in which a woman falls in love with a man who’s legally married; well, she waited on him till he officially became hers. She showed me that a woman must take charge to get who she wants.”

  “Is that right?” He grinned. “Okay then, Gabby,” he teased.

  “Here’s another one for you. What was it about Kiara that made you want to wife her? Like, were you attracted to her personality? Was she an excellent cook? Or was it all about her big booty? I’ve always wanted to know what characteristics a chick must have to get a decent husband.”

  He could only laugh at her curiosity. “No two men and women are just alike. Different people have different needs and wants.”

  As a habit, Rashad seldom liked talking about his and his wife’s relationship, especially with a chick that he wanted to smash. And at that point, he’d seriously wondered what it would be like to make love to Nicole.

  “So you’re not going to answer my specific question about Kiara?”

  “Some stuff you don’t need to know.”

  “How come?”

  Rashad wasn’t ready to tell Nicole that she possessed several characteristics that made him want to have sex with her. He loved the way she talked, he admired her sexy shape, and he appreciated the way she made him feel. At times, Nicole would stare at him while he worked and that let him know she was impressed with him.

  “Hello? I’m talking to youuuuuuu!”

  He decided to act like he was busy concentrating. She stared at him, then changed the subject to a lighter topic.

  “What are your favorite cartoons? And don’t try to deny it ’cause you look just like a nigga that watches cartoons.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  He wanted to laugh because when he had time he did like watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Sonic Boom with Myles.

  The more they chatted, the deeper they bonded. Rashad could see himself with her.

  And after working awhile, he told her, “Hey, you busy? Nah, you not. Come with me.”

  Nicole asked no questions. She grabbed her purse, cell phone, and keys and locked her front door. He opened the passenger door of his van and waited for her to hop inside.

  “Excuse the mess.”

  “No need. I know you an important business man.”

  She sat next to him on the passenger side. She liked that he was in the driver’s seat. He drove respectfully, unlike a lot of fools out on the streets who wanted to show off. To Nicole, Rashad was a real man. He was so different from her ex, who was several years younger than she was.

  “So you just gone get in the car with a strange man and not even question where he’s taking you?”

  “You’re not strange. And I trust you.”

  When was the last time my wife said she trusted me, he asked himself.

  Rashad drove till they ended up at Harbor Freight Tools.

  “You ever been here?”

  “Nope.”

  “Good. You’ll love it.”

  They walked in side by side. For the second time in her life, Nicole felt like she was a wife. She noticed other people looking at them and she enjoyed the attention she got from being with Rashad. Her ex used to make her feel that way in the beginning, but they never made it down the aisle.

  As soon as she and Rashad stepped inside the doorway of the store, Nicole frowned. This place had the look and feel of a large dollar store, but it smelled of sawdust . . . steel . . . plastic . . . and men.

  “All I see are tools and equipment and a bunch of guys acting like they’re in a sex toys shop.”

  Rashad laughed.

  “Harbor Freights is to men what the Michael Kors Outlet is to women.”

  “Whatever, dude.”

  She walked with him, never leaving his side, while he searched for packages of nuts and bolts, a drill holster, and a cordless jigsaw.

  “What’s all this for?”

  “Stuff I need so I can do the best job for my favorite VIP.”

  She didn’t hide the smile that his words put on her face.

  When they got back to Nicole’s, Rashad took the purchased items out of the shopping bag. He tossed some nuts and bolts in his tool belt. He placed his hands on his hips and glanced down at his slacks.

  “It’s amazing how something so small . . . so lightweight, and so pointy has so much power.”

  Nicole stared at the front of his pants then burst out
laughing.

  “I’m talking about this here nail.” He grinned and held out his hand. “I see what type of mind you got, miss lady.”

  For the first time since Alexis and Rashad started hooking up, he became noticeably less available. Although she feared it might have to do with Kiara finding out about the affair, he only told her he “needed to take care of home.” But Alexis had a lot of pride. She felt something in her bones. And even though she promised herself not to stay involved with Rashad unless it had to do with Hayley, her jealous nature told her to check his ass and find out what was happening.

  Playing her position was starting to get old.

  Rashad was painting in Nicole’s bedroom when Alexis called. Normally he wouldn’t answer, but he did this time.

  “Yo, wassup?”

  “You. I was just calling to see what you’re doing.”

  “You know me. Always working.”

  “I figured that,” she responded, lying her butt off. “What job are you doing now? That same one you’ve been working on?”

  Usually Rashad offered Alexis all the details on the projects he had. But he never specifically told her he was helping Nicole.

  “Yep. That’s where I am, doing that little fixer-upper.”

  “The baby needs some new things. Maybe I can come to where you are and hang out,” she told him, just to see what he’d say.

  “If you need money, I will find time to drop it off. But you coming here, uh, no, that’s not dope.”

  “Why not? You’ve let me do it before.”

  “This client is always here. That would be unprofessional.”

  “Oh, okay.” She sounded disappointed. “We miss you. Haven’t seen you in a minute.”

  “You can thank Kiara for that. She tries to keep her foot on my neck. Why’d you have to admit that we did it? Don’t you know how to lie?”

  “What? I know that you aren’t blaming all this on me.”

  He heard the anger in her voice. “Look, no. I don’t blame you, babe.” He thought about Alexis. Up until recently, she really had been a discreet lover.

  “You’ve been really cool throughout about everything. I will make it up to you. I can come see you but we gotta be real careful, now more than ever. Kiara acts like she is one step away from kicking me out the house. And I won’t put up with that. I put too much money in our house to be thrown out. So let me figure out something for us. Stay strong.”

  The next day, when Rashad was working at Nicole’s, he took a quick look around her bedroom. She only had a twin-size bed. He noticed how the small mattress dipped in the middle.

  “That can’t be fun to sleep on,” he said, pointing to her bed.

  “Yeah, it feels like a damned hammock.”

  “We gotta fix that.”

  “How?”

  “I know people.”

  The next day, he had a friend help him move a queen-size bed, frame, and mattress into her house.

  “It’s been a long time since anyone did something this nice for me.” She choked up. “I’m so grateful. And I owe you.”

  “No need. We straight,” he said, playing it off.

  She ran and bounced on the bed and squealed at how tight and sturdy the mattress felt. She settled on her back and felt happier than she’d been in a long time.

  “Yep.” She nodded. “We are straight. For real.”

  She closed her eyes and before she knew it, she nodded off on her new bed. Rashad silently stared at Nicole. Her chest rose and fell as she slept. He walked over to the bed and admired the peaceful look on her face. He took a chance and opened up her dresser drawers. He found a blue blanket and spread it over her.

  “Bye, Nicky,” he said, and closed the door. He knew he had more work to do but he needed to drive over to Lowe’s. He knew where Nicole kept her spare house key. He quietly slipped it in his pants pocket and left, locking the door behind him.

  Chapter 9

  It was the last weekend in June, only four weeks since Nicole had begun working in the communications department. She was getting acclimated to the city and was feeling like she made the right choice by moving to Houston and especially in accepting the new job. She enjoyed her work and had fun interviewing students and filming feature stories about their college lives.

  That Saturday, Kiara had to work on a project that required some of her staff to film a very professional and costly video for Texas South West University’s fall orientation. Rashad decided, since his wife would be gone all day, he might as well stop by at Nicole’s.

  “Hey, you,” he said when he walked in her house.

  “How’d you get in here?”

  “I used my key.”

  “You used your key? Since when did I give you a key?”

  “Since you accidentally let me know you leave an extra one under the welcome rug. That’s dangerous, by the way. You don’t want just any man coming in your house, do you?”

  “No, Rashad. I don’t want just any man coming in my house.”

  They locked eyes. He felt she could see straight into his heart. He wasn’t sure if he liked that or not. He broke the stare and started removing paintbrushes.

  “I thought I’d get started on the bathroom. Is that cool?”

  “Anything you wanna do is fine with me.”

  “Is that right?”

  “That’s very right.”

  “So why you don’t have a man?”

  “Excuse me? What you talking about, Rashad?”

  “I kind of noticed that no man is ever over here. Anything that needs a man’s touch, you always have me doing it. So don’t be offended if it seems like I’m judging. But am I right?”

  “You’re right. Since I’ve moved here I haven’t really met anyone. Haven’t had time. But I know it won’t always be that way.”

  “What kind of man you looking for?”

  “You want to know the truth?”

  “Give me the truth. I can handle it.”

  She giggled. “I like a jack-of-all trades. A man who is responsible and can get things done. Someone who is smart and athletic. A man’s man, though, you know what I mean? He should only bat for one team.”

  “I hear you. Anything else?”

  “Love mustaches. I love thick lips.” She canvassed Rashad’s entire face while she talked. “I am crazy about beautiful, dreamy eyes and nice hair. And he should be on the right side of the law. That’s a must-have.”

  “Sounds like you describing me.”

  She simply grinned.

  “You like me, Nicky?” His voice was husky. “Be honest.”

  “I-I um . . .”

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to be scared of hurting my feelings. Maybe I don’t even compare to that dude you left behind in Alabama.”

  “No, there is no comparison. He was hot, but I’ll admit you are much, much hotter than him.”

  Rashad suddenly grabbed Nicole’s chin between his hands. “You shitting me?”

  “No, I mean it. You are exactly the type of man I’ve been praying for.”

  “Hmmm, word?”

  Nicole stared lustfully at Rashad’s lips. The corners of his mouth turned into dimples when he smiled. She could tell by the way he carried himself that he had mad bedroom skills. She’d already dreamt about him being on top of her, making love to her, and holding her in his arms. Maybe she was wrong for fantasizing about her boss’s husband, but what woman in her right mind would knowingly send her good-looking, talented man into a single chick’s house?

  Nicole wondered why Kiara never came over to her house unannounced like a normal wife would. That alone let her know Kiara wasn’t normal. She trusted Rashad too much.

  That’s her problem . . . and it will be the cause of her heartbreak.

  The next day was Sunday. Kiara had an important project to finish and made a decision to go straight into work. Work gave her peace when home didn’t feel right. Kiara got dressed and caught Rashad eating in the kitchen that morning. She knew he was abo
ut to leave the house himself so he could do some contracting work.

  “Hey, Rashad,” she greeted him. “I don’t wanna take Myles to the office with me today. So you gotta take him with you.”

  “Huh? Nope, that ain’t happening. I got a lot to do and he’d just be in the way.”

  “He will be quiet and will leave you alone. Just make sure and bring plenty of snacks, some LEGO toys, and his books.”

  “Even if I did all that, I’d still feel like I was babysitting.”

  “I don’t care what you feel like. He’s yours too and today you’re going to babysit.” Kiara grabbed her purse and keys and ran to the garage. Rashad yelled after her but she ignored him. The next thing he knew, his wife was gone. She had never just up and left Myles with him on a Sunday. He loved his son, but he didn’t like the trick Kiara pulled on him.

  “This is some bull. She’s just trying to keep tabs on me.”

  Rashad finished eating his cereal. His mind raced in a thousand directions. He actually wasn’t working anywhere that day. This particular Sunday was dedicated to Hayley. Alexis was waiting on him. And he promised her that he’d come through to take them to a water park the minute it opened.

  Just as he was thinking about how he was going to break his promise, Alexis texted him. He had recently purchased a smart watch that he could use to communicate with her. It resembled a regular watch and he hoped it would be safer than using his regular cell phone.

  U up? I’m excited.

  He texted back.

  We got a little prob.

  What?

  He went out to the garage to make sure Kiara was really gone. Then he decided to call Alexis.

  “Myles is with me today.”

  “Are you serious? What are we going to do? We can’t cancel.”

  “Hayley won’t even know if we cancelled.”

  “But I would. We’ll just have to bring your son with us.”

  “No fucking way. I don’t want to do that.”

  “She’s his sister.”

  “I know that, but this isn’t a good way to announce all that. He didn’t ask for this.”

  She was stonily quiet and he knew he’d hurt her. It was something he didn’t want to do and he hated when it happened anyway.