Clandestine

by Ava Harrison

  “They accepted my offer, and we can close the deal by the end of today. We’ll be able to break ground this coming spring.”

  “That’s wonderful news. Congratulations, Spencer.” I beam.

  “I like to think it’s because of my good luck charm.” He winks, moving toward me.

  “I’m pretty lucky,” I smirk.

  “Of that, I’m sure, Olivia.” He leans in to kiss me. “Would you like to come and see the property with me?”

  “You want to show me the property?” I say, shocked.

  “Don’t freak, Olivia. I’m not asking you to buy a house, just to see a piece of land.” He grins.

  “Good thing because if you were, I’d be running.”

  He chuckles.

  “Sure, I’ll come. It would be great to see a day in the life of Spencer Lancaster.”

  “It’s pretty boring.”

  “I doubt that,” I quip.

  “It’s been much more exciting lately,” he says as he pulls me in close.

  “Yeah?”

  “Definitely.” He places a small kiss on my lips. “Get dressed. We leave in an hour.”

  The view is breathtaking. I have no doubt a lovely building will sit on the sand some day. It makes me a little sad. It’s such an exclusive piece of property, hidden from the rest of Antibes. It’s a shame that a massive hotel will be placed on top of it, making it no longer so private.

  “What’s on your mind?” Spencer asks from my side.

  “This piece of land is so beautiful and a hotel will take away from that.”

  Small lines start to crease Spencer’s forehead.

  “It’s just so peaceful here like its own little slice of heaven. You build a hotel, people will come, and it will no longer be quiet.”

  “Then what, my dear Olivia, would you put on this property?”

  I think for a moment before answering. “Nothing. It would just be my own little paradise to come and sit and watch the waves lap.”

  “You’re quite the romantic.”

  “Because I have a lack of it in my life.” The words slip out before I can stop them. And I hope it doesn’t make the moment awkward, but when I hear him chuckle, I let out the air I didn’t even realize I’m holding.

  “Something tells me it won’t always be like that for you, Olivia.”

  “I don’t know.” I shrug. “I’m not in any rush. When he comes along, I’ll know it. He just hasn’t shown up yet.”

  He turns his head as if done with the conversation.

  It’s a little awkward talking to him about my future with someone else, but there’s no future for us. And in this moment, I get a little pang of sadness at that realization.

  “I take it back,” I say to change the subject.

  He turns his head toward me.

  “I think I’d put a private residence right here. I wouldn’t want to just come here occasionally. I’d want to wake up to this view.”

  He smiles. “I can see you here.”

  We walk hand in hand down the shoreline, taking in the magnificent waters that stretch out in front of us. The French Riviera is something to behold. I’m sad that this is my first time ever being here. I vow to myself to come back here one day.

  “Are you ready to move on to Barcelona?”

  My head turns to him quickly. “We still have a few more days here.”

  “But I sealed the deal. There’s no reason to stay here any longer. The sooner I get to Barcelona, the sooner I can start those negotiations, and hopefully, can be on a plane back home.”

  That familiar ache returns when I remember what Spencer and I are doing together. He isn’t just enjoying his time here with me. It’s all business, and I’m just along for the ride. A part of me grows sad at the thought, but he did warn me not to get caught up with ideas that wouldn’t happen, and I have no one to blame but myself. I’ve gotten wrapped up in the beauty of everything surrounding me that I forgot my place in his life. This reminder will stick with me.

  I won’t make the same mistake again.

  Spencer has called in for his family plane again, but this time it’s to transport us from Nice to Barcelona. I must admit I’m not a member of the mile-high club, and the thought of embarking on that journey with Spencer sends shivers down my spine in anticipation. Last time I was on the plane I was so nervous it hadn’t crossed my mind, but this time it infiltrates my every thought. We’re boarded and waiting for the crew to get prepared when a sultry voice comes over the speaker. I feel Spencer tense next to me, and I eye him with curiosity.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” he says curtly.

  “Are you a nervous flyer?”

  He scoffs. “I fly all the time. I’m perfectly fine in the air.”

  “Okaaayyy,” I mutter.

  I’m about to open up my Kindle and start some reading when a busty brunette comes around the corner and shoots daggers directly at me. She wasn’t on our last flight. “Who’s that?” I say under my breath.

  “No one I know,” he replies, but his body language suggests otherwise. He clearly knows this person.

  She approaches. “Spencer,” she croons. “How are you?”

  I arch a brow at her. What the hell? Is she really coming onto him in front of me?

  “My name is Mr. Lancaster, and you’ll do well to remember that,” he says icily.

  Her face instantly falls into a pout. “But—”

  He cuts her off. “We haven’t even left the ground. I can have you replaced in two seconds if you speak to me again.”

  She goes stiff. “Is there anything I can get you?” she says tightly.

  “Two glasses of champagne, please.”

  Her eyes go wide and she looks murderous before stomping away.

  “What was that all about?”

  “I can assure you, Olivia, you don’t want to know.”

  My stomachs sours. Clearly this is just one more girl in the long line of Spencer Lancaster conquests. I wouldn’t be surprised if his sordid details end up on the front page of the Expositor by tomorrow given her expression.

  “Nice,” I say, my voice flat.

  “Olivia, what happened in the past should stay there. Let’s not ruin our last few days together by focusing on things that have nothing to do with the two of us.”

  “I don’t care what you’ve done in your past. I just don’t like to be lied to.”

  He sighs. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I just didn’t want to start a fight. I had no idea that she’d be on this flight.”

  “Perhaps, moving forward, you shouldn’t sleep with your staff,” I suggest coldly.

  “I’ll take that advice.”

  The girl returns with our drinks, handing them over roughly. As she turns to walk away, Spencer calls out. “Victoria.”

  She turns to him.

  “Please don’t interrupt us the rest of the flight. We’ll be heading to the bedroom.”

  She snarls and returns to the pit.

  “Was that necessary?”

  “What?” he feigns innocence.

  “We’re heading to the bedroom?” I wrinkle my nose in disgust.

  “I thought you’d like to sleep on the way.”

  “I’m sure that’s not what you were trying to insinuate.”

  “I’d never use you as a pawn, Olivia.” He grabs my hand, kissing my palm. “I’m not that much of an asshole, at least not to you.”

  I can’t stop the swelling of my heart at that. He might not say it, but it’s obvious he cares. About me. I’m suddenly feeling playful, so I lean over and whisper, “So . . . about the sleeping . . .”

  His brow quirks. “You want to sleep?”

  I smirk. “Nope.”

  “What exactly do you have in mind, Olivia?”

  “I’m missing a very distinctive membership that can only be achieved by being miles high in the air.”

  He chuckles at my lame explanation. “Is that so? We can’t have that.”

  I sh
ake my head. “No, I agree.”

  He stands and holds out his hand. “Let me officially usher you into a club that will change you forever.” His gorgeous dimple makes an appearance, and I swoon. Hard. Little does he know just how much he’s changing me forever.

  I may never recover.

  Sure enough, the next day Victoria is out of a job and Spencer’s face is plastered all over the tabloids. Headlines read Spencer Lancaster flies high with mystery woman. The article goes on to detail all the sordid details of Spencer and Victoria’s time in the air and then flashes to his latest rendezvous with a mystery woman. I’m nauseous reading it, but it’s nothing I didn’t already suspect. I just feel bad because it’s exactly what Spencer had said. Nothing in his life stays secret, and he can’t trust anyone.

  Now our first day in Barcelona is spent with Spencer doing damage control with his publicist. Neither one of us wants people to know that we’re together, especially since it ends in less than seven days.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I hear Spencer yell from the other room. “I want her ruined. Those details couldn’t have come from anyone but her.” Huffing ensues followed by more tense words. “No, Clarissa, absolutely not. There’s no way that Marshall would’ve known that. He was busy flying the fucking plane, and he knows better. He’s been with our family for years.” He lets out a growl. “I want her buried along with this story. Take care of it now or find yourself another job. There are plenty of people who would be clamoring over themselves to work for me.”

  I busy myself by taking out my Kindle and pretending I’m reading, not wanting him to know I overheard all of that.

  He comes stomping in. “This is a fucking shit show.”

  My stomach falls. “What?” I can tell by his face what he’s about to say isn’t good.

  “I can’t believe the bitch told the press about us. But that’s not the worst part.”

  My mouth slacks. I knew it was a horrible idea I should’ve said no to. But honestly, I couldn’t resist him. “What is the worst part?” I whisper, scared of what he will say.

  “All of the tabloids know about it and have their dogs out looking to find out who this mystery mile high girl is.”

  I cringe. If I didn’t already feel like a prostitute, this just cements the deal.

  “I’m sorry,” he says sincerely.

  I can tell this whole thing is eating at him.

  “We’re going to have to lay low in Barcelona,” he says solemnly. “If you want to go home, I can understand. I can arrange for Marshall to take you back.”

  The thought of leaving him has me feeling even worse. I’d rather hide for a few more days and enjoy my time with him at night. I’m not ready to let go of our time.

  “No,” I say sheepishly.

  “Good.” He smiles and then begins pacing. “I never wanted to throw you into my fucking issues.” He stops right in front of me, taking my face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Olivia.”

  My forehead scrunches. “Why are you apologizing to me?” I ask.

  “I’m the one who put you in their line of fire. Between my fuck up with Victoria, and then my display on the plane, it was all my fault.”

  “Stop. I’m a grown woman. I made choices too.”

  “Choosing to spend your time with me is a mistake, Olivia.”

  “No.” I shake my head. “My time with you has been everything.” Again words slip out of my mouth that I know I shouldn’t be saying to him. But for some reason, he makes me lose all reason. A part of me is nervous about my revelation. That he might reject me, or remind me of what this is, but instead, Spencer devours me with his mouth. Our tongues tangle in passion and anger. For him, I can imagine it’s anger at Victoria, anger at himself. For me, it’s anger because I’m falling against all the warnings. I should do the smart thing and tell him I changed my mind. I should get on that plane and never look back. Forget London, forget Vence, and most importantly, forget I ever met Spencer Lancaster.

  But I can’t. I don’t want to.

  My anger fuels me to kiss him harder. I want him to remember these lips. I want my memory to burn him at night when I’m gone. This isn’t making love or even having sex. This is desperation.

  He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. Carrying me to the bed, Spencer never pulls his lips from mine. We fall into a heap on top of the feather mattress, roughly removing each other’s clothes. Panties are tossed, bra is flung, and once it’s all discarded, I watch through hooded lids as he rips open a condom wrapper and sheaths himself. Once he’s finished, I lower myself on top of him, sighing at the absolute relief I feel. He follows with a moan of his own. We never slow in our movements. It’s fast and hard, but we move in synchronicity.

  In this position, we’re eye to eye. There’s something disarming about being this vulnerable side to him, but I want him to see just how much he affects me. He holds my hips, helping me to glide up and down. Our eyes lock and I see it. He may never admit it, but in this moment I know he feels the way I do.

  I throw my head back and bask in the exquisite feel of him inside of me and the knowledge that I’m not alone in these feelings. He soon follows me over the edge and we lie in our contentment.

  The next morning, I wake Olivia up early to take her out for coffee before I have to work. The tiny café I want to take her to is tucked away in a small alcove amongst the vibrant city architecture. This city. These lines. When I’m here, I almost want to abandon my post as CEO and just design. I let out a breath. It would certainly be easier if I could. Then there would be none of this bullshit with the tabloids.

  The fucking Exposé article is everywhere. I know Olivia must have read it by now, but we haven’t discussed it. We should. But I’d prefer just to pretend it didn’t happen. But that wouldn’t be fair to her.

  As we step inside, I place my hand on her back and guide her in. A small empty table lies in the corner. I guide her there, and once she’s sitting, I head over to order us some coffee.

  “Dos cafés con leche y azúcar por favor.” My Spanish isn’t as good as my French, but it’s still passable.

  After our order comes, I sit beside her. She smiles at me. A smile that is so bewitching it knocks the air out of my lungs.

  “You speak Spanish too?” Her eyes are wide with surprise.

  “Not well,” I mutter out.

  “I heard you. If I didn’t know better, I would think you were from here. Is there anything you can’t do? Any language you can’t speak?”

  “That was one of the things my father insisted upon my brothers and me. Well. Who knows about Pierce.”

  “How much older are you than him. I saw him, he looks like a baby next to you.”

  “I’m thirty-two,” I say, and I can’t believe this is the first time we are talking about this. “Grant is thirty-one. And Pierce is the baby at twenty-two.”

  “Big age difference there.”

  “From what I was told, they tried for a year after Grant but couldn’t get pregnant, my mom always wanted three kids. Nine years after Grant, they got themselves what mom likes to call her oops miracle. It’s why he’s so damn spoiled. Since the day he was born, he’s been given everything he’s wanted with out having to work for shit.”

  “Did you have to work?” she asks, and her eyes widen at the way her words left her mouth. “I didn’t mean it like that.” She bites her lower lip, and I look at her, and something pulls inside me. Not liking to see her unsure or nervous.

  “I have always had to work. My father was much harder on Grant and me. It’s almost like he gave up on Pierce. Too old or something.”

  “And now? With Pierce.”

  “My father is a good man, but he has no patience for him. It’s probably why he ends up on every tabloid. He’s probably seeking attention.”

  “You never know. Pierce might not be seeking attention as much as he’s seeking approval. When I first started modeling it was because of my boyfriend in college. He’s a photographer.
The first time he took pictures, he told me I was beautiful. But then the backhanded comments started. Suddenly, I wasn’t skinny enough, pretty enough. But I had already known the feeling of his approval and I needed that so badly I found myself doing things I’d never do to try to win his approval back.”

  I stare at her for a moment. Not knowing how to form the words to describe how amazing. I think she is. How strong I think she is. I understand the need for approval, I have felt the pressure every day of my life.

  “I understand the need for approval. And although you might be correct about Pierce, at the same time some of his antics are solely for attention.”

  She gives me a once over. “Are any of yours?”

  “I’m not like the man they describe, Olivia. Sure I have made some bad choices. Yes. Recently I made some fucking bad choices, but regardless. In the position I am in life, I’ll end up there. Front and center. This is my life. There is nothing I can do about it, but it’s not yours.” Her face pales at my words, but I keep going. “I like you, Olivia, but this won’t change. I need to know you can handle it. I won’t be upset if—”

  “I can handle it,” she says full of conviction, and it makes me stop for a second.

  She’s breathtaking.

  Her understanding. Her compassion. And then on top of that, she just takes me for what I am. She doesn’t want anything from me. She gets me.

  She’s not pushing me to open up, but I realize that’s exactly what I want to do. I want to open up. To her. To this. As I lift my coffee to my mouth, I realize my reservations about keeping my distance from Olivia are gone.

  After coffee and breakfast, we spent the day lying by the pool, or at least I did. Spencer was still doing damage control. After he was done with work, we took a bath together and experienced just how much fun that can be. Now, the daytime has faded into night. After a few minutes of just lying in his arms, a feeling of restfulness weaves its way through me. I’m enjoying this too much. Enjoying him. But I can’t get used to this. This will end. The room grows warm, claustrophobic. I need air. I extract myself from his grip to throw on a silk robe.