My Thai Story II

by Guy Lilburne

  Now we were having a baby we had things to sort out. The first thing was that we wanted to get married. I mean properly married and the marriage to be registered and recognised as legal all over the world. Not just have a Buddhist ceremony and a party, which isn’t recognised as a legal wedding anywhere in the world, not even here in Thailand!

  As I said, ‘Nothing stays the same’ and my life was changing with even bigger changes to come in 2015.

  I did some enquiries on the internet about how to go about getting married over here. It didn’t seem too difficult and at 6:00am on Tuesday 2nd December 2014 we got up early and set off on the two hour drive to the British Embassy in Bangkok. I had to make out an application to marry with an affidavit that I was free to legally marry. I then had to have these translated into Thai at a local business which did that sort of thing. Then I had to go back to the Embassy and get the paperwork stamped. It was then off across Bangkok to the Registry Office and at 11:00am I was a married man and Aon was my wife. We walked into a nearby shopping mall and had a wedding breakfast, which consisted of a Big Mac with fries and a large coke. We watched the shoppers walking by past the huge Christmas tree that had been erected inside the mall. We held hands and felt happy. Suddenly, for some strange reason, it felt a lot more like Christmas. We walked around the shopping mall and found a nice jewellery shop. We picked out two beautiful gold wedding rings and put them on each other’s finger. Now it really felt like we were married. We drove home again and Aon told me that she had to help out on the family farm to get the sugar cane cut. She also had to get her name changed to Lilburne on her ID card. She also had to retake her driving test within the next 30 days after failing to achieve the correct amount of right answers on the knowledge section of the test in November. She wanted me to go up to Satuak in Buriram with her, but I really couldn’t stand the thought of spending a couple of weeks up there in the middle of nowhere. Aon wanted to stay until 25th December, when her daughter Milk would arrive home from school for two weeks holiday and bring her back to our house in Chon Buri for the Christmas. She would travel overnight and arrive early morning on Boxing Day. We decided that we would have our first Christmas Day together a day late. Aon went up to Buriram on the bus on 9th December. After I dropped her off at the bus station I went Christmas shopping and went home and put up the Christmas tree and wrapped presents to put underneath the tree. Despite the fact that it was 35 degrees outside and hot, hot, hot, it really felt like Christmas. Over the next few weeks I kept topping up the presents under the tree and started getting all the stuff in for what was going to be a very special Christmas Day dinner - albeit it was going to be on Boxing Day!

  On Christmas Eve I played in the Bang Saray Christmas Better Ball Golf Championship. It was a fantastic start to the Christmas and everyone had a great day. Actually, for the first nine holes my partner, Keith Beckham and myself were winning, but my old friend Maurice Birchall and his partner Bill Callaghan came storming back and won the Championship on the back nine. It was a close and exciting competition and, without doubt, the best team won.

  I had Christmas dinner at Maurice Birchall’s house on 25th and then spent the afternoon on the beach. I collected Aon and her daughter from the bus station in Pattaya at 6:30am on Boxing Day and we went home and had a wonderful Christmas. We opened presents and I cooked a traditional Christmas Dinner with all the trimmings. We watched Christmas programmes on the TV until we fell asleep, very happy and very content. It was a wonderful end to what had been a fantastic year for me. My life was what I had always wanted it to be……….a happy one!

  I was very excited about the baby and so was Aon. We had chosen two names. If it was a girl then she would be called Molly and if it was a boy then he would be called Jack. Simple names but we loved them. I had a dream just after Christmas. In the dream my baby came and spoke to me and told me that she was a girl. It was enough to convince me that we were going to have a little girl come next May. I told everyone about my dream, but on Monday 5th January I went with Aon to the Pattaya Bangkok Hospital and we had a scan on the baby. The baby was really active and never stopped moving around. Everything was perfect and my baby was most definitely a boy. He had a penis like a baby’s arm. Actually, it might have been his arm come to think of it. But anyway, it was most definitely a boy and I was thrilled that little Jack Lilburne would be coming into this beautiful old world in or around 25th May 2015. Maybe Molly will come next time!

  After we left the hospital we went straight to Big C and bought some lovely new born baby clothes in blue for a boy.

  It was probably the fact that Jack was well and truly on his way and getting bigger by the week in readiness to come into the world that I started to rethink the future. I had a problem about staying in Satuk for more than a day or two, because it just wasn’t comfortable and I never seemed to eat anything when I was there. But I also thought that it would be important to stay for longer periods after the baby came along, so I suggested to Aon that we build a proper house there. She loved the idea and spoke to her mother, who said that she would give us some land to build a house and make a garden. It sounded like a great idea, because we would keep the house in Bang Saray near the beach and have another house up in Satuk. Actually, their village is called Tuang Wang and is about 20 minutes past Satuk towards the border with Surin. We talked about being able to travel between our two homes as and when we wanted or needed to. We agreed that when Jack was old enough he would go to school in Chon Buri, because there are many good international schools in the area. But other than that we had no firm plans - just an idea about the future and it seemed like a good idea.

  The next time we went up to the farm we looked at some land that seemed like a perfect place to build a house. Aon was very excited about it all and so was her mama, until I insisted upon having all the proper paperwork in order. I wanted her mama to sign over the piece of land into Aon’s name before I spent money building another house. I just wanted it legal. I didn’t want a problem further down the line. Maybe after her mother’s death other family members might consider that they had entitlement or claims on any land! Her mama suddenly didn’t seem so happy, but she didn’t say anything. I refused to build a house until we had visited the land office and sorted out the paperwork. We agreed to go there the next day. Her mama didn’t sleep that night and it would become clear why she was so worried the next day, when we arrived at the land office. I knew that there was a problem before we went inside, because Aon’s mum was holding photocopies of the paperwork. I told Aon that they would need the original documents, but Aon’s mother convinced Aon that photocopies would be okay. They of course would not be. After waiting for over two hours to speak to an official and a lot of talking in Thai that I could not understand, the paperwork was gathered up and we walked outside into the hot and dry midday sunshine.

  Aon’s mama was upset and told Aon that she was sorry that we could not build a house on the land. I kept asking where the original documents were and, at first, no answer was forthcoming. But I wouldn’t be fobbed off!

  Eventually a very crestfallen mama told Aon that the bank had all the original paperwork for the land. Aon couldn’t understand why the bank should have the paperwork, but I knew straight away that she had borrowed against the farm. The only question now was how much and how much interest had been added. Aon knew nothing about all this. In fact nobody else in her family knew about it either. Her mama was in tears when she told Aon all about it. It was a secret that she had been living with for a long time. She had been too ashamed and too worried to tell any of her family about it. The worry of it all had been making her ill for a long time. I will tell you all about it now.

  Aon was one of six children. She had three sisters and two brothers. The youngest brother died just a few months ago, aged just 30 years old. He had drunk himself to death. I went to his funeral along with the rest of the family even though I had only met him a couple
of times. He was a nice enough person and he actually spoke perfect English. He was a lady boy and learnt how to speak English through his regular contacts with farangs. Anyway, a couple of years ago he needed money to go and spend a few months with his American boyfriend who he had met in Thailand. Apparently the American was rich and Aon’s youngest brother convinced Mama to borrow money from the bank against the farm to finance his trip. He had assured mama that he would return with more money from his trip to America than he was taking, because his rich boyfriend loved him very much, would pay it all back and more besides, because the American wanted to marry him. Mama believed her son and seeing little risk involved went and borrowed the money against the 60 Rai farm. She told nobody else about it, believing that the money would be returned by her youngest son and everything would be as before. You have probably guessed that her son returned from the American trip broke - with no money and no boyfriend. He had risked the entire future of the farm and ruined his mother. He made promises at first that the American was going to send the money to him to repay his mother, but of course they were always just lies and the money never came. Mama struggled to keep up with the interest payments and several were missed, which meant the interest rate kept going up. Now Mama and some of the family who worked on the farm were really just working to pay the bank. Nobody else knew, only Mama. Until she told us the story. My first reaction was one of indifference. I didn’t really care too much. The only thing that I was sure about was that I wouldn’t be wasting any money building a house on land that the bank was going to repossess upon the death of Mama, if not before, if the payments kept falling too far behind. Aon was shocked, really shocked and she cried too. There were five houses on the land with various standards of construction. They all housed family members, who lived and worked on the farm owned by her mother. (Well actually, pretty much now owned by the bank, because it was completely out of their reach to pay back the loan and the accrued interest). All of these family members lived there for free, as a reward for helping Mama to work the land. None of them had any idea that they were all clinging on by a thread.

  I sat outside her mother’s house in the shade of a mango tree, sipped from a bottle of ice cold Chang beer and looked out over the farm. For as far as the eye could see her Mama owned the land. It had never really been developed properly as a working farm and most of the fields just grew Rice or Sugar, which paid the bills I guess. But I started thinking it could be so much more! After a couple more beers I told Aon that we would take her mother to the bank the following day and find out exactly how much money is owed on the farm. I thought that if it wasn’t too much then maybe I could help out somehow. The next day we drove back into Satuk and went to the Farmers Bank. Aon and I were both shocked at how much was owed to the bank. Even Mama was shocked. She had never really understood how the interest was continually being added. It was far too much money for me to give or lend to her mama to help her out of her predicament. Once again I told Aon that her dream of having a beautiful new house built on her mama’s land was over. It is amazing the effect a couple of ice cold beers and sitting under a mango tree looking out across the fields can have, because once again I found myself thinking about the situation. Then the idea struck me like a bolt of lightning. It was a bit of a Eureka moment. I told Aon that I would buy the farm, all 60 Rai of it in my company’s name (It is the only way to be able to own land in Thailand if you are a foreigner). I told her that I would pay off all the debt on condition that everything was legally transferred over. The arrangements as far as family members living and working on the land could all stay the same, but the farm would belong to my wife and me. There was a lot of discussion and I’m not really sure who was told what, but the next day Aon told me that Mama wanted me to buy the land back from the bank. We would then go straight from the bank to the land office to transfer the deeds. We did it all in one day - actually, by doing a lot of sitting around and waiting over eight hours in one day. It was a lot of money, but for a 60 Rai farm it was really a bargain and it secured the future for my wife and our unborn son, Jack. I was delighted and going back to the farm later that day it all felt different. Suddenly, I had a stake in the land and a stake in the future. Now I was happy to build our dream home on our farm in Buriram and make plans for the future. Suddenly, the idea of farming really appealed to me now that we owned the place.

  Suddenly Aon and I were busy. We were looking at house plans and we wanted everything to be perfect. We eventually found a beautiful looking house, but decided that we wanted it slightly bigger than the original plans, so we simply added two metres all around the house. Why not! We already owned the land and, in actual building costs, it would cost very little extra. We hired bull dozers and diggers and cleared a big plot of land not too far away from the road that ran through the village. I also cleared the trees away from what was going to be the back of the house, because I wanted an unobstructed view out across the farm. Behind the trees I discovered a big pond, which Aon told me used to be their fish farm, but they hadn’t bothered with it for years. I got the diggers to dig it out even more and doubled its size. I left a few trees around the edge for shade and because they looked nice. Now we were going to have a fish farm again. To the south, the east and the west, as far as the eye could see, we owned the land and the trees - a huge expanse of land that would allow me to build pig pens, cattle barns, chicken coups and even a duck pond with a duck house. My head was spinning with the possibilities. There were plenty of trees on the land but not enough fruit trees for my liking, so that was also going to be high on the agenda. The rest of the farm would continue to be for the production of sugar and rice. Oh! I suddenly thought - I’m going to need a dog and a pair of Wellington boots. Maybe I could build a smoke house and cure my own hams!

  Anyway, the building of the house was well and truly underway and Jack was growing bigger and bigger inside his mummy. I went out one day with Aon in Pattaya and we found a wonderful baby shop. I ended up buying everything that baby Jack would need when he finally arrives. A cot, car seat, bath, push chair, high chair, a bouncy thing and loads of other stuff. Aon and I were both very excited about the future, but we kept changing our minds about how exactly we were going to live it. It is a seven hour drive from our house in Bang Saray to our farm in Tuang Wang, Satuk. The drive is tiresome especially when you drive it back and forth as many times as I have over the last year. Sometimes we agree that we’ll travel back and forth as we need to, other times we agree to rent the beach house out long term and stay on the farm. Sometimes we decide to sell the beach house and then somehow we agree to travel between the two homes and keep both running at the same time, so I can play golf and see my friends in Bang Saray. I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I do know that we will be together, Aon and me and baby Jack and, who knows, one day Molly might decide to come along too! And best of all we agree on it all!

  Because of all the developments and the building work on the farm we had to spend more time there. It wasn’t easy for me because it meant me sleeping on the floor at Mama’s house. I never slept very well when I stayed there and I never ate very well either, but I managed. I hated the outside toilet/shower so I paid the builders to make Mama a new concrete and brick built bathroom with electric light, a power shower and nice clean tiles and a proper flush toilet. The bathroom was built in a day and I was delighted with it. As far as I’m concerned taking a dump should never be taken for granted! And I’m getting far too old for all this squatting down on the floor nonsense. Aon stayed at the farm more than I did. I was still travelling between Satuk and Bang Saray. I decided that once the new farm house was built I could spend a lot more time there, but until then, I would just have to endure the long drive to and from to play golf and drink beer with my friends.

  Bang Saray had some exciting news while I had been away. Pete Doherty, famous for being the front man in the Libertines and dating Kate Moss, had moved into Bang Saray. He had bee
n in rehab in Thailand and liked it so much he decided to stay a while. He was using the local studio to record and frequenting the local bars. Everybody says that he is really nice, but at the time of writing this I had still yet to bump into him!

  Bang Saray had another magnificent Songkhran festival in April. It seemed that there are more and more people each year. As usual there was a lot of drinking and dancing and water throwing. A lot of laughter and smiling faces. Another wonderful day in paradise. Jack Lilburne would be here in or around the end of May or beginning of June. The new house on our farm in Buriram is coming along nicely and should be finished in July. I’m cracking on with my new book called ‘Living the Dream’. I really like it because it’s funny and sad at the same time. I’m delighted with the storyline and the characters so far and I have a feeling it’s going to be a big hit. I really hope so. Life feels so good to me at the moment. I’m happy, really happy in my heart and I’m really busy enjoying life. I feel that I have achieved something. Actually, I have found something; Happiness! All my life I have wanted to find happiness, but never did. I have spent far too much of my life battling with depression and addictions and trying to keep my dark secrets hidden from family and friends. I never knew for sure that coming to live in Thailand would help me find what I was looking for, but I just fell in love with the place the first time I came here and I had a feeling. I did know that I wouldn’t have lived a long or happy life in England, so in that respect I had nothing to lose. I didn’t lose, I won and I won so much more than I could have ever imagined. Sometimes I think that I don’t deserve for my life to have turned out this well. But sometimes I think that I did! It’s Saturday 25th April 2015 today. Thai time is nearly 2:00pm and I think I’m going to jump on my motorbike and go and have a drink and a game of dominos with my friends at the Wilkris Resort. Maybe catch up with the local gossip, chat about the football, listen to old jokes, sing along to the old music that Keith Callaghan likes to play over his speaker system. What a great Saturday afternoon. Maybe it doesn’t take much for you to be living the dream after all. Maybe it is just a state of mind!