My Son's Ex-Wife: The Aftermath

by Shelia E. Lipsey

  “Francesca, I’m proud of you. You know, God always gives me a pick up when I’m down. You’ve been my pick up for today and many days to come. Sometimes we have to go through the valley of darkness and over the mountaintops of abuse and hurt in order to fulfill our calling and purpose in this life. I know you’ve certainly experienced your share of some of life’s challenges, but you’ve managed to come out on the other side stronger and wiser. I thank God for that.”

  “Yeah. I’m glad I’ve gone through what I have too, Pastor. It’s made me more compassionate and more in tune with people who are hurting, bruised, and whose lives are messed up.”

  Pastor hesitated like he was wondering if he should ask what he was about to ask. “How is your health?

  “You mean my HIV and herpes? You can say it, Daddy. It’s what I have, but it’s not who I am. I’m taking it one day at a time. God is keeping me strong. I’m on a lot of meds and there are some days I don’t feel too well, but it’s mostly because of my bad leg. It gives me the blues some days. But I’m learning to not complain. I just lean and rely on God.”

  “Good, honey. Hearing you talking about the Lord and His goodness, is an answered prayer. I feel like shouting,” he said in a raised voice.

  “I’m just speaking the truth,” replied Francesca. “Look, Pastor. I just wanted to check in with you. I have some other things I need to get done. But I’ll call again.”

  “Promise?” asked Pastor.

  “Sure. Bye for now,” said Francesca and ended the call.

  “Bye,” responded Pastor to the dial tone in his ear.

  No sooner than hanging up the phone, did it ring again. This time it was Stiles.

  “Hi, Pastor. How are you two doing over there today?” he asked.

  “Oh, so so. Your mother, well, she’s in a bad way right now; questioning why God allowed her to have the accident and diabetes. She’s really been coming down on herself. The nurse should be here soon to get her up and in her chair. I know she’s going to fight tooth and nail against that. She wants to give up, son.”

  “We can’t let her do that, Pastor.”

  “Yes, I know. Hey, your sister just called. I was so glad to hear from her.”

  “Amazing. God is working, isn’t He? I haven’t heard from her since I went to see her.”

  “She sounded good on the phone,” said Pastor. “She didn’t give me her number, and the ID said private number, so I didn’t push her about it. I know she’ll call again.”

  “Did she ask about Mother?”

  “Yes, she did. We had a nice conversation. She really does sound like my Francesca. I miss her so much.” Pastor’s voice weakened.

  “Just don’t give up, Pastor. God is always in control. Right?”

  “Right,” Pastor readily agreed.

  “I’ll stop by later on this afternoon and bring you all something to eat.”

  “Piccadilly special?” remarked Pastor.

  “Nope, not this time. It’s straight from Holy Rock’s café,” said Stiles. “Prepared by none other than Sister Detria. You remember her, don t you?”

  “Umm, I can’t say that I do.”

  “She’s Brother Mackey’s middle daughter. She was away at college for awhile, then settled in Arizona for five years. She’s a certified nutritionist.”

  “Oh yeah; Detria Mackey. I remember her. I used to call her Lil Dee Dee. I don’t recall you telling me that she was back in Memphis. Has she reunited with Holy Rock? Is she here for good or what?”

  “Yes. She’s here for at least a few years. She moved back to be closer to Brother and Sister Mackey since Sister Mackey’s been in poor health. She leads the volunteers in the kitchen ministry. She said the church should provide good meals, but nutritious meals as well.”

  “Is that so?” quipped Pastor. “Sounds like there’s a little something going on that I might not be aware of,” replied Pastor. “Is she married?”

  “No, she’s not married, and there’s nothing going on. She knows you and Mother aren’t in a position to prepare meals for yourselves, especially the kind of meals you need, so she volunteered to come up with some delicious meals that both you and Mother can eat without worrying about if it’s good for you or not. I thought it was nice of her to offer her time.”

  “Sure. Whatever you say, son.” Pastor giggled.

  “Anyway, I’ll see you guys later this afternoon. Hang in there, Pastor. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Stiles. Bye now.” They ended their call, and Pastor whirled slowly around in his chair. A huge smile came over his face.

  The nurse arrived soon after Audrey awoke from her nap. Against her patient’s wishes, she insisted that Audrey get in her wheelchair and practice maneuvering through the house. Audrey hated to see the nurse coming, and was often mean toward her. There was no reason for her to practice being in a wheelchair when it was only temporary. She would soon be up and walking around running her own household again.

  Audrey sat in the chair while the nurse cleaned her room, bed, and then proceeded to groom Audrey. She brushed Audrey’s hair while she squealed like a little girl, accusing the nurse of pulling too hard on her head, or insisting that she style it in a certain way.

  Pastor heard her complaining all while the nurse was in the house. She stopped long enough to push the joystick hand control on the electric wheelchair and sail into the front of the house. The nurse followed closely behind her.

  “Pastor, I don’t see the need for all of this,” she told him. “I don’t think I’m going to be in this chair too much longer, so why do I have to learn how to use it? I can’t get out of the bed anyway by myself to get in it, and God knows you aren’t strong enough to help me.”

  Pastor eyed the nurse and smiled. “Audrey, do it for me, please.” He kissed her cheek.

  “Pastor Graham, call me if you need me. I’m going to go back to Mrs. Graham’s room and finish cleaning. I’ll be back and give you your insulin injection,” the nurse said to Audrey.

  “Oomph, I don’t need you to do that. My husband can give it to me,” she said smugly.

  “That’s fine, Mrs. Graham,” the nurse responded. “Would you like to give it to her, Pastor Graham?” the nurse asked, seeking his final approval.

  “Of course. I’ll give it to her. Don’t you worry about a thing. Come on, Audrey. It’s almost time for Judge Mathis. I’ll go fix our sandwiches and you park in a good spot in the family room in front of the television. Then I’ll give you your shot. How does that sound?”

  “Okay. But if you need any help, just call me,” Audrey told him.

  Pastor turned around and headed toward the kitchen. He chuckled along the way.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.”

  ~Emily Kimbrough~

  “I can’t thank you enough for your time,” Stiles told Detria. “I know you’re working a full time job, and then to come here during your lunch and volunteer at the church as much as you do is a great blessing.”

  Detria swished around slightly, like she was showing off her well proportioned body. She smiled at Stiles, and then lowered her head like she was shy.

  “It’s no problem at all,” replied Detria when she looked up at Stiles. “Good nutrition is one of the main factors of being healthy.”

  Stiles smiled in return. Since his divorce, he had received his share of women at Holy Rock and other churches, vying for his time and attention. But no one could replace the thoughts of Rena. There was not a day that passed when he wasn’t bombarded with thoughts of how much he handled everything wrong in his marriage and break-up. He could have tried harder, been more considerate and more level headed. But he was too embarrassed to feel anything for a woman who had slept around with not another man, but with another woman, and of all the women out there, it had to be his sister. The devil really stuck it to him. He tried Stiles’s manhood and the devil won.

  Detri
a, whether he wanted her to or not, had a way of lifting Stile’s spirit. Her genuineness made him comfortable around her. It was the first time that he felt safe about letting his guards down, even if it were only a little. She was easy to talk to. Whenever he was around her, she had an uncanny way of making him smile.

  Detria didn’t come off like some of the other women who Stiles had come to believe from experience were only after the title of First Lady. He didn’t understand it at first. But there were women in the church who were ready to go to battle about being the next first lady.

  Stiles was determined to tread carefully. If there was a woman for him, if God wanted to give him another chance at being a husband, and possibly a father, then Stiles wanted to have clear, divine direction from God. No more love on the run.

  “Pastor Stiles,” Detria pulled him from his day dreaming. “I enjoyed noon Bible Study today.” Detria nervously wiped her hands on her spotted white kitchen apron. “I’m glad you chose to hold it here in the banquet hall. That way people can come from work during lunch, enjoy a free, nutritious meal, and listen to the Word of God, all within an hour. It was a great decision on your part to start doing this,” she gracefully complimented him.

  “Thank you, Sister Detria. The numbers are growing every Wednesday too. I’ve received several e-mails, letters, and phone calls about the noon Bible Study. It’s not only enticing some of our working church members, but it’s proving to be a good time for our senior citizens. You know, because of crime in this city, many of our seniors don’t like to venture out after dark, so the noon session fits them perfectly. The church van picks them up and some of them drive themselves when they wouldn’t drive at night. God is truly good,” Stiles said and reached for a glass of orange juice Detria held out toward him.

  “Thank you, sister,” said Stiles.

  “No matter how many times I’ve heard the Word of God, there is always something new I take away from it,” Detria said and took a small swallow from a glass she poured for herself. She sat down at one of the round tables and Stiles followed suit.

  “Like today’s Bible teaching,” Detria said with an interesting look on her smooth, coal black skin. She was slender, with fiery eyes that seemed to glow.

  “What about today’s teaching?”

  “First of all, I’m ashamed to say this.” She shifted her eyes away from his.

  “You never have to be ashamed to talk about the Word of God, Detria. Tell me, what’s on your mind.”

  “It might sound silly, but I’ll say it anyway.” She smiled and showcased her dazzling white, even teeth. “When you were talking about Deborah; I wasn’t surprised to learn that she was a prophet, but I had no idea she was…that she was something like what we would call an attorney. I mean, people actually came to her and asked her to solve their legal cases?”

  “Yes, they did. That’s something preachers and those who study the Bible sometimes fail to mention. Deborah was a great woman of God. A wife, prophet, a leader, and as you say, an attorney of sorts. People took great confidence in what she said and followed her advice,” Stiles told her.

  Detria beamed and added. “Deborah would sit under Deborah’s Palm Tree. Wow, that’s amazing to know, Pastor Stiles. Since I’ve returned to Memphis and to Holy Rock, I feel myself growing in the Word of God tremendously. Don’t get me wrong, your father, Pastor Graham, Senior was an excellent teacher, but you; well, I have to say, Pastor Stiles, that you bring a whole new level of enjoyment to learning about the Word of God.”

  “Now that’s a compliment. I have big shoes to fill since my father had to step down from being the pastor of Holy Rock. I’ve gone through some dark days, and I don’t always feel like I should be standing in the role I’m standing in.”

  Detria toyed with her glass of juice. She looked like she was in deep thought.

  “What are you thinking?” asked Stiles.

  “I don’t want to come off as brazen, so forgive me if I do. But do you feel unworthy to be in the pulpit because of your divorce?”

  Stiles was somewhat startled, but he was relieved, too, that Detria spoke her mind, and she did it in such a loving way.

  “You don’t have to answer the question if you don’t want to,” she told him.

  “No, it’s not that. You’re right, Sister Detria.” Stiles looked around the empty banquet hall before he continued speaking. “I do feel unworthy sometimes. How can I lead others to the path of God when I’m such a failure myself? How can I be effective when I couldn’t even keep my own marriage together? There, I’ve said it.” Stiles threw up his arms in the air and exhaled like he released a giant helium balloon of air. “I know God has forgiven me. It’s me who hasn’t forgiven me.” He patted his chest. “Maybe I should have or could have handled things differently. I believe that marriage is for a lifetime. Especially when we’re yoked with whom God has joined together.” His words were slow and he raised his eyes and stared at Detria.

  Detria reached across the table and took hold to Stiles’s trembling hands. “You, of all people, know that God is loving. You know that there is no mistake, no mess-up, nothing that we can come to Him with that He won’t forgive, if we are sincere and repentant about it. Just because you’re a pastor doesn’t mean that you won’t make mistakes. You’re still human.”

  Detria’s voice quickly calmed down Stiles’s warring spirit. Her words were not condemning; they were like salve being lightly rubbed across his broken heart. “One thing I notice about you, Pastor Stiles,” she said in a happier tone.

  “And that is?”

  “That you are a strong man. You remind me so much of Pastor Graham. You’re transparent. You don’t try to pretend like you’re a man of God who walks around perfect and with all of the answers. That’s one of the things I believe that draws people to Holy Rock. It’s your realness, Pastor Stiles. It’s your ability to be who you are and not some man standing in the pulpit like he’s trying to win a badge for getting the most people to join the church just to add to the church roll. When you preach; when you teach; you do it with conviction and with love.” She removed her hands from holding his. “Don’t allow the enemy to make you feel like you shouldn’t be doing what God Himself has called you to do.”

  Stiles looked at Detria for what seemed like hours, but in actuality was mere seconds. Tears dimmed the corners of his eyes. “Thank you, Sister Detria. You don’t know how God has used you today. And I can’t believe that I released this heaviness I’ve been walking around with these past months. I don’t know where all of this is going to lead me. I do know that I need to make some kind of contact with my ex-wife.”

  Detria listened intently. By the look on her face, she appeared to be glad that Pastor Stiles had confided in her.

  “If that’s what you know you’re supposed to do, then do it. You won’t be satisfied until you do what God tells you to do.”

  “Sounds like you’re the counselor here. People come to me for advice and here I am, sitting across the table pouring my problems out to my Deborah today.” Stiles raised one hand up. “I didn’t mean to sound condescending. It’s just that there is so much expected of pastors. We’re often looked at as these perfect people of God who can’t fall, who shouldn’t fail, and it’s impossible to be what people want us to be. It’s a hard job. A difficult duty and responsibility.” Stiles rubbed the top of his head.

  “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes, I know that,” remarked Detria. “You are responsible for people’s souls, and that has to be a massive responsibility, to know that people cling to your every word and watch to see if you’re going to fail. But I know better. I didn’t grow up as a preacher’s kid, but I’m sure you know that my daddy is about the next closest thing to being a preacher.” Detria and Stiles giggled.

  Stiles glanced at his watch. “I’m sorry I have to end this, but I’ve still got several more things to complete on my schedule.” He stood up from the table and grabbed his juice. He took the last giant swallow of it. “Th
e lunch was splendid today, Detria.”

  “Thank you, Pastor Stiles. Hold on just a minute. I need to give you the plates of food that I put aside for Pastor and Mother Graham.” Stiles watched Detria as she turned and went into the kitchen. She returned with two plastic bags of take out containers.

  “Here you go,” she said with her infectious smile.

  “Detria, thank you. Thank you for the food for my parents, and thank you for being my Deborah today. God bless you,” he said and embraced her.

  “Anytime,” remarked Detria. “Anytime.”

  Stiles completed the remainder of his busy day by teaching his University of Memphis religion class, reading church reports, and checking in on the sick and shut in before he stopped by his parents’ to deliver the food Detria had prepared.

  Stile’s BlackBerry chimed. He read the message for his to do list. He slapped his forehead as he drove toward Emerald Estates. “That’s right, I have to do the Loretta McNary® television show at twelve-thirty tomorrow afternoon. He said to himself. “Thank God for this little reminder,” he said and looked at his red BlackBerry. The Loretta McNary® talk show came on weekly and featured various guests from various places and walks of life, concentrating on more of the mid-south. With the growth spurt happening at Holy Rock, popular television and radio host, Loretta McNary®’s staff had contacted Stiles about being on her show to talk about what the church is doing for communities throughout the city of Memphis. Stiles gladly accepted the invitation. It would be a great way to reach out to the unchurched and to let them know about Holy Rock and the forty-five different ministries they offered. Being on such a huge, successful television show was another great blessing and avenue to spread God’s Word. He dialed the telephone number and reached Ms. McNary’s assistant. She confirmed the time that he was supposed to arrive at the studio and reminded him to be on time because it was a live taping. Stiles assured the assistant that he would be there and that he looked forward to meeting Ms. McNary in person.

  On his way to Emerald Estates, he started thinking about Rena again. Why couldn’t he get her out of his mind? He had to make amends some kind of way. He guessed that he loved her and probably had never stopped loving her. But the thing that bothered him most was did she still love him? Would she even talk to him? It was time to stop wondering what she would or would not say; it was time for him to step out and just make it happen.