My Son's Ex-Wife: The Aftermath

by Shelia E. Lipsey

  “None of us did. I tried to be as nice as I possibly could toward her. After all, she is the mother of my children and there was a time when I truly was in love with her. But seeing her in the state that she was in, made me feel nothing but pity for her. One minute, she was rambling on and on about things that didn’t really make much sense, if any. The next moment, she was extremely irritable. When she tried to talk to the kids, they ran away from her. That sent Karen into a tangent. She started accusing me of turning the children against her. She picked up whatever she could put her hands on and started throwing it at me. That’s why you saw some of the kids’ things spread all through the family room. It was a horrible scene that lasted all night and most of the day.

  “I couldn’t allow her to continue to upset the kids. I mean, none of us could sleep once she came. She was basically uncontrollable. I kept talking to her in a low key voice, assuring her that things were fine and that she was safe. For a while she seemed to understand what I was saying. I told her that the kids were tired and needed to sleep. I asked her how she got here. She said she couldn’t remember, but she thinks she took the bus. I asked her about her meds, and she couldn’t remember how long it had been since the last time she took them. That was when I called 911. I explained to them what was going on and they sent a police car to pick her up and take her to be mentally evaluated.” Robert’s voice rang with sadness.

  “Robert,” remarked Rena, “I am so sorry this happened.”

  “I didn’t want the kids to see her being dragged out of the house by the police. They were quite good with her, which was truly a blessing. There was a female police who came inside of the house. At first, the kids looked frightened. Their mother was hollering and talking and swearing out loud. But the police lady talked calmly to her and treated Karen with dignity and respect. She talked to Karen and explained that they were going to take her to get her meds. After almost an hour, Karen was calm enough to be transported to the hospital.

  The female police officer came back inside of the house after they placed Karen in the squad car. She talked to the kids and explained everything she was about to do, which I thought was exceptional on her part. It’s still heart wrenching that they had to witness their mother in such an uncontrolled state of mind, Rena.”

  “I know, I know. But they’re children, Robert. Children bounce back quickly. And you’re such a good father. They know they’re safe with you. They know you would never let anything bad happen to them. As they become older, they’ll understand their mother’s illness more. You did everything right, Robert. Don’t allow Satan to place any guilt on your shoulders about what happened and about the measures you were forced to take to remove her from your home,” Rena told him in an endearing voice.

  “Thank you, Rena. I don’t know what I would have done without you today.” His voice sounded tired and worn.

  “That’s what friends are for, Robert. Now you go and get some more rest. I expect you to be at your official duty station, the science lab, first thing tomorrow morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed.” Rena laughed into the phone and Robert did too.

  When Robert ended the call, he held the phone in his hand and regarded it slowly. “I love you, Rena. I love you so much,” he said, and then he retreated to his bedroom.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Having someone wonder where you are when you don ’t come home at night is a very old human need.”

  ~Margaret Mead~

  Stiles approached Detria in the church kitchen shortly after noon Bible Study. “Detria, I don’t know what it is you’ve been doing the past two weeks, but all I can say is, keep doing it,” he said with a mixture of happiness and a rather cool tone.

  Detria replied with her own mixture of laughter. “What on earth are you talking about?”

  “Oh, you know very well that you are responsible for the positive attitude my mother has had since you’ve been going to Emerald Estates. She adores you. I think, if I know my mother,” he spoke assuredly, “and I do, she thinks she’s going to match the two of us up with one another.”

  “For real? I had no idea. I mean, when you happen to pop up nearly every time I’m over there, I just took it as you being the kind of son who visits his parents two or three times a day is all.” This time Detria laughed loudly.

  “So, you do detect the same thing?” Stiles responded.

  “Yeah, I do, Pastor Stiles. But I don’t pay Mrs. Graham any mind. I love doing what I can to help your parents. They are such a lovely couple. When I get married, I would love to have a loving relationship like your parents have with each other. They remind me of my mom and dad’s marriage. They even finish one another’s sentences at times. I mean, it’s amazing the kind of relationship they have. And your father, Stiles, I have to admit, he is a man of God if I’ve ever seen one. He showers Mrs. Graham with affection, and he rarely leaves her side.”

  “Yep, that’s my dad all right. I can’t say that they haven’t had their troubles, but through everything they’ve been through, they’ve remained together. And that is a testimony, Sister Detria.” Suddenly Stiles’s voice and expression took on a different tone. A slight frown came upon his face and his voice sounded sad. “I wish I could stand here today and say the same thing about me, but I failed at marriage. I don’t know if God will allow me to go down that path again.”

  Sister Detria washed her hands at the industrial sized sink, and then tore a paper towel off the rack and dried them. She focused her full attention on her pastor. “Pastor Stiles, I don’t know, and I don’t care to know what happened that caused your marriage to fail. I’ve heard gossiping around the church, that much I can’t lie about. But as for me, all I can tell you is that we all make mistakes. You’re a true man of God, just like your father; at least that’s what I see, and that’s what I feel in my spirit about you.” Her voice became more reserved and softer as she spoke. Stiles’s eyes were glued to hers.

  “I do know one thing, and that is that the God I serve, and the God you preach about is a loving, kind, and forgiving God. He’s a God who looks beyond our many faults and He sees our needs. He’s a God that doesn’t hold a grudge, and He doesn’t keep a list of all the wrong we’ve done. All I can say to you is, if you’ve repented for your wrongdoing, whatever it was that you say was your fault and caused your marriage to fail, God has forgiven you. Isn’t it what you teach us all of the time, Pastor Stiles? Don’t you tell us that God is a God of non-condemnation? Don’t you tell us that we can go to God and we can ask Him for the desires of our hearts? If you truly want another chance at loving someone again, or trying to reconcile with your wife, or whatever it is you’re wrestling with as a man, then go to God with that thing, Pastor. Give it to God. Turn it all over to Him. That’s all I can say about that.” Detria ended boldly and with conviction.

  “My, my, my,” Stiles said with a rasp of excitement bouncing in his voice. “Sister Detria, thank you for that word from God. I bless you, and I thank God for you, my sister.” Stiles’s face had turned a shade lighter; he was pale. He opened his arms and without saying a word, Detria stepped into them. He held on to her and she held him. There was nothing tainted or immoral about their embrace. It was the Spirit of the living God that comforted them.

  Stiles stepped aside and looked at Detria. “You are a true, woman of God, Sister.”

  “To God be the glory, Pastor. Now come on over here and get the food for your parents. Be sure to tell Mrs. Graham I’ll see her tomorrow.”

  “I’ll be sure to do that. Have a blessed afternoon,” he told Detria and strolled out of the kitchen.

  Stiles placed the food on the floor of his car. He drove to Emerald Estates like he did every Wednesday following noon Bible Study. He hadn’t heard anything else from Rena, and he was about to lose hope of her ever calling him again. Maybe it was time to give up on the desire to rekindle anything with Rena. He transferred his thoughts to Detria. By the time he arrived at Emerald Estates, he had made up his mind that h
e was going to ask Detria to go out with him the next time that he saw her.

  Detria was a single woman from a good Christian family. She’d never been married, and the best thing about Detria, Stiles reasoned, was that the two of them easily communicated. It was one of the things that he and Rena seemed not to have done very well. Their communication had been way off base; that’s probably why Rena didn’t feel like she could come to him with the truth.

  Stiles, like always, placed the food in the kitchen after Pastor opened the front door and let him inside.

  “How’s Mom doing today?” Stiles asked his father.

  “She hasn’t been feeling too well, son. Her sugar level is up, and those bedsores are getting worse.”

  “I don’t recall you telling me she had bedsores. Doesn’t that mean she’s not being moved enough?”

  “Not necessarily. She’s being moved as much as possible, but being immobilized like she is makes it difficult. The nurse has a call in to the doctor. She thinks that they’re going to have to hospitalize Audrey. You know your mother is upset about that,” said Pastor.

  “I’ll go in and talk to her.” Before he walked up the hallway and into his mother’s bedroom, Stiles stopped. “Pastor, you know that it’s not a good sign; I mean her having the bedsores. She’s already paralyzed, for goodness sakes, and bedsores and diabetes can be a deadly match.”

  “God is able,” was Pastor’s reply and he turned and walked away from Stiles.

  “Mother,” Stiles called as the nurse opened the door for Stiles to enter. Audrey barely turned her head to look at her beloved son.

  “She’s not feeling too well today,” the nurse told him.

  “I know, my father told me.” Stiles walked over to Audrey’s bedside. “Mother,” he called again. Tears were rolling down Audrey’s face when she turned to look at Stiles.

  “I hate living like this. I wish God would call me home.” Audrey voice sounded fragile and shaky. Stiles saw the weakness in her eyes.

  “Mother.” He caressed her right arm tenderly. “I think you need to go back into the hospital. You’ll do better there. The doctor can get your sugar level regulated, and they can tend to the bedsores before they get any worse. I know you don’t like the sound of all of this, but it’s for your good, Mother. You have to remain strong and courageous.” There was gentleness in Stiles’s voice that denoted how much he loved his mother. “You have to fight and you have to live, Mother.”

  “Baby.” Audrey’ voice changed from one of impending death to a gleeful tone. Stiles looked over at the nurse, who shrugged her shoulders, and then back to his mother.

  “What is it, Mother?”

  “I want you to have a good life. You need a good woman by your side. Detria is a good woman, Stiles. And before you say anything, let me finish what I have to say.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” was all Stiles said in return. He was not about to tell her that he didn’t want to hear her match making schemes. Audrey was too weak for him to upset her any more than she already was.

  “I’ve been watching her every time she comes here. That girl is a good girl, Stiles. She treats me and your daddy real good. She not only helps with our meals, but she spends time talking to me, like I’m a real person and not some patient. Audrey glared past Stiles and looked at the nurse who was sitting in the chair reading a magazine. “She’s nothing like that Rena; deceiving, backstabbing, and downright evil, her and your sister,” Audrey emphasized even though she sounded weak.

  “Mother, I wish you wouldn’t say things like that about Rena or Francesca. Neither of them is totally to blame for my divorce.”

  “Oh, yes, they are. Don’t you go blaming yourself and nobody else, but her and that sister of yours. And speaking of your sister,” Audrey’s voice grew stronger with every word she spoke, “if she loved me so much, why hasn’t she called here one time or come to see me. Pastor told me that he talked to her and that you went to see her. You thought I didn’t know, didn’t you?” she said in a nasty tone that reflected her bitterness toward Francesca and Rena.

  “Mother, you’re lying here sick. You shouldn’t be focusing on negative thoughts. You should be focusing on getting better, not on the past. Dear God, Mother, let the past stay in the past.” Stiles’s spoke with light bitterness. He didn’t want to make his mother angry, but she was doing a good job of making him angry.

  Audrey managed to point a finger at Stiles. “You better listen to me, son. I won’t be around here always. I’m telling you that God is about to call me home. I can feel it. I know Pastor doesn’t want to hear it, and you don’t want to hear it, but it’s the truth. And so you better listen to what I have to say,” she said. “That Detria girl is your wife. God is giving you the woman you deserve, not some woman like Rena who you can’t trust as far as you can throw her. I’m telling you, you better hear what I’m saying.”

  “I’m listening,” Stiles said in order to appease his mother.

  “That’s my boy. I knew you would listen to your mother. Now, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to call her up and ask her to go out with you. Take her to a fine place to eat or something. Not some rinky dink place. Do it the old fashioned way.”

  “What’s the old fashioned way, Mother?” Stiles managed to smile.

  “Court her. That’s what you do. She still lives with Brother and Sister Mackey.”

  “How do you know that?” asked Stiles.

  “I know because I asked her, that’s how. She said she’s been dating some man that goes to Brown Baptist, but never mind that. She likes you. I know it,” said Audrey in a choked voice. She started coughing and Stiles looked at the nurse.

  The nurse rushed to Audrey’s bedside. “Come on, sit up a little,” the nurse told Audrey and started pumping the side of the bed with her foot to raise the bed up. Audrey’s coughing slowly subsided. “Hon, it’s time for me to give you your insulin.”

  “Stop calling me, hon. I told you my name is Mrs. Graham. My momma, God rest her soul, didn’t name me, hon,” barked Audrey between several more coughs.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Graham. It’s just a habit.”

  “One you need to get rid of,” Audrey rebuffed.

  “Mother, settle down.” Stiles patted her arm.

  The nurse gave her the insulin injection, and Stiles resumed his place by Audrey’s bedside.

  “Mother, get some rest. We’ll talk about Sister Detria another time. I have to be at church for evening worship, you know.”

  “Don’t try to change the subject. You have plenty of time before you have to be back at church. I may be in this bed, but I ain’t no fool. I can still read and tell time. And I’m telling you that it’s time for you to get married again. It’s not good for a young, handsome man like you to be preaching two or three times a week and not have a helpmeet. It’s too many women out there trying to get hold of you, wanting to be the first lady. It’s like the Bible says, the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few.”

  “Mother, I don’t think that finding a wife has anything to do with that passage of scripture.

  “Oh, yes, it does. It means that there are plenty of women out there who would love to become the next Mrs. Stiles Graham, but they aren’t worthy. Their motives aren’t right. This Detria girl is the right one. I like her, Pastor likes her, and I can tell that you like her too.”

  Stiles let out an exasperating, audible breath. There was no getting through to Audrey once she’d made up her mind about something. The best thing for him to do was to let her have her say. He wouldn’t even tell her that he’d already thought about asking Detria to have dinner with him. But it would be in his time and no one else’s.

  The nurse’s cell phone rang in the middle of Audrey talking to Stiles. She answered it and placed her hand lightly over the phone. “It’s her doctor,” the nurse whispered.

  The room became quiet as Stiles and Audrey deciphered what the doctor was saying on the other end by the nurse’s movements. When the nurse
hung up the phone, she told them what they already knew. “Mrs. Graham, the doctor wants you to be admitted to the hospital this afternoon.”

  “I’m not going to do it,” Audrey said.

  Stiles tried persuasive tactics hoping that he could encourage his mother to do as the doctor had ordered. “Mother, this is the best thing for you. You need more care than Pastor and the nurse can give you. Plus, this terrible cough that you’re having isn’t good either. I’m sure it’ll only be for a few days and then you’ll be back at home.”

  “Stiles, I’ve had enough of this.” Audrey started coughing again. This time she coughed so loudly and so badly that Pastor heard it and came into the room.

  “What’s going on in here?” He looked nervous and walked over to Audrey’s bedside. She continued to cough. The nurse explained to Pastor what the doctor had suggested and that Mrs. Graham had refused to follow his advice.

  “Audrey, this is one time when you can’t have your own way. You are going to the hospital, and that’s that. Pastor swished around like he would in his younger days when he was full of zest and zeal. “Nurse, please call, or do whatever you have to do to make sure the hospital and doctor know we’re on our way. Stiles, you help get your mother in her chair, unless you think we should call an ambulance.” Pastor looked at Stiles for an answer.

  “I think it would be easier and less uncomfortable for mother if we did,” replied Stiles.

  “Stop discussing my well being like I’m not here,” she scolded both of them. “I’m fully capable of making a sound decision about my health. If you call an ambulance, I’ll just tell them that I refuse to go, and that’s that,” Audrey said between hard, guttural coughs.

  “I tell you, I won’t have it. If Stiles has to pick you up and carry you to the car, then so be it. But one way or the other, you’re going to the hospital, and that’s not up for further discussion,” Pastor bit back.

  Stiles had never seen this side of his father. He was always soft spoken, even in his anger, but this afternoon, he was commanding, and he was not about to give Audrey the winning hand.