More Than He Expected

by Andrea Laurence

  Alex looked at her, the moonlight making the pale skin of her face glow against the dark tangle of curls that hung loose around her shoulders. Her dark burgundy satin dress was sexy and short, tying just above the waist, accentuating the swell of her pregnancy and leaving her nicely shaped calves gloriously bare. She was wearing low heels tonight so the daring, V-cut neckline of her dress brought the soft curves of her breasts a touch closer to tempt him. “You look beautiful tonight, too.”

  “Thank you,” she said, her nose wrinkling as though she was uncomfortable with the compliment.

  Alex never understood why women were always hesitant to accept compliments. Despite accusations that he was a ruthless charmer, he didn’t hand them out lightly. He always meant what he said. He was a lover of women. Seeing them smile, hearing them laugh, watching them blush… He did whatever it took to coax their best from them. If that made him a charmer, it made other men lazy.

  “Do you need another drink? Some club soda, maybe?”

  Alex shook his head. “I already have ginger ale, thank you. Besides, you following me back here and fetching me drinks won’t look good. You called me on being too obvious this morning. How subtle is the two of us disappearing to be alone on the ship?”

  “It doesn’t matter. We’ve been outed.”

  “Adrienne?”

  She nodded. “Apparently neither of us has a future as a ninja or spy.”

  “So much for my retirement plans.” Alex pulled the towel from his neck and tossed it into a bucket on the deck. He leaned his forearms onto the railing, bringing his height more in line with hers. “She have much to say about it?”

  “Not as much as I expected, but she put in her two cents. Mainly, she advised me not to fall in love with you.”

  “That’s wise,” he agreed. “It’s hard to be in love with someone who isn’t into relationships.”

  There was a short hesitation before Gwen responded. “Is that really true?” she challenged. “That you aren’t ‘into’ relationships? Or is it just a convenient excuse?”

  Alex frowned and snorted dismissively. “And what exactly is your diagnosis, Nurse Wright?”

  “It’s hard to say, since I don’t know much about how you were raised or what experiences you’ve had, good or bad. Adrienne said she gets the feeling you’re running from something, and I agree. Intimacy, maybe? You’ve just decided you’d rather act like you’re too cool to settle down, when the truth is you’re trying to avoid the pain of a failed relationship.”

  “That’s a very bold guess for someone who admits they know nothing about me.”

  “It feels true. You do everything you can to avoid letting a woman become important. Short or onetime encounters, buying expensive but meaningless gifts, traveling all the time, moving from one woman to the next… It just makes me wonder.”

  “Wonder what?”

  “It makes me wonder who hurt you so badly that you refuse to even take the chance on something great happening.”

  Alex tried without success to swallow the lump that formed in his throat and took a sip of his drink to see if it would help. It didn’t. He had never realized he was that transparent. Maybe it was only obvious to Gwen. She saw things other people didn’t bother to notice. She’d just said something to him that no one else in his entire life had had the nerve or interest to ask. She was nothing if not honest, direct and sincere. He supposed she deserved the same. “I don’t believe in love.”

  Gwen turned to him and gave a soft nod of understanding. “Sometimes, I’m not sure I do, either. What convinced you?”

  “Because I’ve never seen it last longer than the hormone surge. By the time that wears off, odds are you’ve done something stupid like get married or pregnant and now you’re stuck with someone you find you don’t even like.”

  “Like your parents?”

  A smile curved the corner of Alex’s mouth. She was an insightful little minx. “Well, they are a child’s closest example of how relationships work. Mine taught me they don’t. They’ve always been miserable together, but they keep up the ruse for appearances’ sake. They’re rarely in the same room together. My father escaped into his work. I almost never saw him growing up, and when I did, he was buying me something. My mother used me to get what she thought she wanted, then blamed me my whole life when it backfired on her. They smile for the cameras on family holidays, but that’s about it. Doesn’t exactly make you want to run out and get married, does it?”

  Gwen shook her head. “My parents never married. My father split before my mother was even as pregnant as I am right now. She’s spent every moment since then trying to catch and keep a man. Her quest was the most important thing in her life. Even more important than her only child. Her priorities are so messed up. It just makes me more determined not to be like her. I tend to fall for the kind of guys who aren’t going to stick around, so I don’t bother with getting attached.”

  “And to think, I thought you liked me for my smile.”

  Gwen gave him a watery grin and turned back to focus on the ocean. “But lately I wonder if I’m missing out on something. It’s like I’m the only kid in school who doesn’t believe in Santa, so I’m not getting any presents. Maybe for Peanut’s sake, I want to believe. I want love and happy marriages to exist because I want it for her. Is that weird?”

  “No. People want better for their kids than they had. At least, they should. The problem is when people have children for the wrong reasons. Although my mother would never admit to it, my father told me when I was grown that she deliberately got pregnant with me so he would marry her. That certainly worked out well for her.” Alex couldn’t keep the bitter sarcasm from slipping into his voice.

  “Are you worried someone would try to do that to you? Trap you with a child? I could imagine that would be a good reason to be such a condom fanatic.”

  Alex had been called a great many things in his life, but that was a first. “I suppose you could say that. I know it’s hard for people to understand, but when your estimated worth is plastered across the pages of different newspapers and magazines, you’re naturally a target. Of competitors, swindlers and gold diggers alike. I don’t trust a woman to be genuine with me. They all want something from me. Except, maybe you.”

  Gwen turned to him with a confused look that drew her delicate eyebrows together. “I’m not sure if I should be flattered or not.”

  “Be flattered. It puts you above millions of other women in New York.” Alex paused and listened for a moment to the music playing on the deck. “Do you hear that? They’re playing our song.”

  Gwen wrinkled her nose. “We have a song?”

  “I’m insulted,” he said, pushing away from the railing and sweeping her into his arms. “This is the song we danced to at the reception.”

  Alex didn’t make any fancy moves to keep the seasickness from returning but held Gwen against him and gently circled around their private section of the deck. She swayed easily and comfortably in his arms to the slow, sultry music. He thought for a moment she might let their conversation lapse, then he heard her speak quietly into his lapel.

  “So, is it that you don’t believe in love, period, or you don’t believe anyone will ever love you for who you are?”

  Alex shrugged. “What does it matter? I can’t change who I am. So whether it exists or not, that means no love or family for me.”

  “You don’t want children at all, then?”

  There was a touch of disappointment lining her eyes when she asked the question. It didn’t surprise Alex. Gwen told him she didn’t believe in love and marriage, but even since they’d been here, he’d noticed a change in her. There was a touch of sadness in her eyes when she watched Will and Adrienne together. The same sadness that was there after the woman had confused them for a married couple.

  She wanted it. And not just for Peanut. Judging by the way she was looking at him, part of her entertained the idea of having it with him someday. The fair-haired babies of yesterda
y’s fantasy popped back into his mind. Surprisingly, he’d been guilty of those thoughts as well.

  Alex sighed. “It’s not that, so much. The idea of having children by choice doesn’t bother me. I just don’t think children should be brought into a marriage without love. And I don’t believe in love, or marriage, so kids are automatically out of the question.”

  “I suppose that’s why you almost choked on your tongue when you saw me pregnant.”

  “Not exactly.”

  Gwen frowned at his response. “What does that mean?”

  Alex swore he’d never voice these words out loud, but something urged him to get it off his chest. Maybe saying them would send them out to dissipate in the atmosphere instead of locking them inside to slowly poison him. “It was the opposite, really. I mean, there was this wild mix of surprise, fear and anger because I thought you’d kept it from me. But there was also a part of me…”

  Gwen leaned into him, her dark eyes widening in anticipation of his words. “Yes?”

  Her eagerness gave him pause. Telling Gwen how he really felt would just open the door to an opportunity that wasn’t real. Even though the idea of fatherhood had intrigued him, it was a gut reaction. His ancient, caveman biology taking over. He thought better of it now. He would never marry or have children, and he hadn’t changed his mind about that.

  Raising her expectations was unfair. Really, everything he’d said or done to her since he’d come to the Hamptons was unfair. He should’ve walked away from the pool and not dragged her back into whatever it was they shared. Alex needed to put the brakes on this whole thing before he did any more damage.

  A loud pop sounded in the distance and they both turned to see a shower of white sparks fall into the sea. It was followed by a burst of red, then green. The fireworks display had begun, lighting the sky and the water surrounding them with bright, colorful explosions. It was a beautiful and welcome distraction.

  He watched them for a moment, then shook his head. “Adrienne was right,” he said, taking a step back from her and ending the dance. “Don’t let yourself fall in love with me, Gwen.”

  At that, he turned and disappeared around the corner to rejoin the others.

  Nine

  Gwen waited almost an hour in her room that night before she realized Alex wasn’t coming. She’d made the mistake of thinking that their conversation was a step forward. He was opening up, sharing his past and his feelings. But then he’d walked away and she hadn’t spoken to him in the hours since then. The empty space in the bed beside her only confirmed how wrong she was. Alex hadn’t just walked away from the uncomfortable conversation; he’d walked away from her.

  She wasn’t quite sure what was going on with him, but she could see through his suave, womanizing veneer now. He obviously chose not to let anyone, especially women, get close to him. He had his reasons. She understood that much, because she did the same thing herself.

  She worked long graveyard shifts at the hospital and slept away most of her days. Gwen loved her job and her work, but it left her with little free time. She had friends, but even those people weren’t allowed to get very close to her. They were as numerous and casual as Facebook friends. And just as likely to be there for her when things got tough. When she’d gotten pregnant, many had scattered.

  Only Adrienne really knew and understood Gwen. They both knew what it was like to hit the rock bottom of life. She had been trying to get out more lately. Adrienne was pulling her out of her shell. Cutting men out of her life had opened up some free time to do things she hadn’t before. She went to more theater, toured more museums. She’d even come to the Hamptons for a relaxing, fun vacation with a group of people who were mostly strangers.

  When Alex arrived and offered her another go, she hesitated, but he was a hard man to turn down when he had his sights set on you. She’d relented, given in, succumbed to the promise of a few days of pleasure without strings. And now, here she was, alone in bed because he’d had some kind of moral dilemma. Well, forget that. He had pushed her until she’d relented, and she wasn’t about to be cast off like that. They were doomed to crash and burn, but that time hadn’t come just yet. He owed her two more nights.

  Gwen flung back the covers and marched out of her room in the tiny tank top and shorts she wore to bed. She went straight up the stairs to his bedroom and walked in without knocking or asking permission.

  Alex was sitting up in bed wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and some reading glasses low on his nose. He had a pile of pillows behind him and a file open in his lap with some kind of schematic drawings. Work stuff, she assumed. He looked up in surprise when she charged in, but he didn’t move. He also didn’t tell her to leave. She knew he wouldn’t.

  She closed the door behind her and planted her hands on her hips in irritation. “What are you doing?”

  Alex pulled off his glasses and tapped the paper with them. “I’m going over the final interior design drawings of my new high-rise apartment building in New Orleans.”

  “Is that better than making love to me?”

  His hazel gaze locked on hers and he spoke without hesitation. “Not even close.”

  Gwen closed the gap between them, climbing onto the bed and crawling up the length of his body. Without asking permission, she stuffed the paperwork back into the folder and flopped it with a heavy thud onto the bedside table. “Then why have I been alone in my bed for the last hour?”

  “Because,” he said, shaking his head, “I’ve changed my mind about us. I pretty much twisted your arm into having this affair, but now I’m thinking it’s not such a good idea. You’ve got that look in your eyes. I’ve seen it before. So I decided to take a step back before things got too serious. I mean, Adrienne is a hopeless romantic, and even she told you to stay away from me. That can’t be a good sign. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Gwen listened to his argument as she straddled his hips and eased back to sit astride him. The thin cotton of her pajama shorts did little to disguise the firm length of him pressing against her. She planted one hand on the oak headboard by each side of his head as though she were leaning in to kiss him, then paused a few inches away. “Since you never even bothered to ask me what I thought about all this, I’m going to say that I think that’s a load of crap.”

  Alex’s eyes widened in surprise, his whole body stiffening, but she’d left him with no escape route unless he was willing to physically fling a pregnant woman off him. His jaw tightened as he watched her, considering his words.

  She didn’t wait for him to answer. It wouldn’t be the truth anyway, just some canned response she wasn’t interested in. “I think you’re the one that’s afraid of getting hurt.” She pressed her palm against his bare chest, covering his heart. Gwen could feel the nervous, rapid pounding in his rib cage. “So you’ve made up this story about protecting me so you can feel better about running before it gets too serious.”

  “Gwen—”

  “No. I don’t want to hear it. You’re not just going to put me aside like all those other women. Not tonight. You owe me two more days, and I expect you to pay up.”

  Alex swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple traveling slowly down the length of his throat and back. He watched her for several moments, not speaking. It felt like an eternity to Gwen. She held her breath. She wasn’t used to being this aggressive with a man. It could blow up in her face. But at this point, she had nothing to lose.

  He sat up from the pillows, bringing his face to within an inch of hers. There was a hard glint in his eyes. Gwen couldn’t tell if it was anger or the rise of a challenge. His arms slinked around her, tugging her forward with a hard jerk until she was pressed against him. His breath was warm against her skin, his mouth hovering close but not yet kissing her. It sent a scorching tingle through her body, the anticipation building in her belly.

  Alex was just teasing her now. Punishing her for putting him on the spot. Two could play at that game. Gwen moved her hips in a slow circle, generat
ing a delicious friction as she ground into the firm heat that pressed insistently against her. A groan escaped his lips, and he closed his eyes when a shudder traveled through his entire body. The hands on her back fisted into tight balls at her hips. “Oh, Gwen,” he whispered, his lips brushing the curve of her jaw.

  “Do you still want me to go back to my room?” she asked, her pelvis continuing to swirl in agonizing circles.

  She felt his fingertips reach under her tank top and lift the hem. Gwen held her arms over her head to allow him to slip the top off. He threw it to the floor, then leaned back against the pillows. His golden gaze took in every inch of her flesh from the full, bare breasts to the swell of her stomach.

  With a self-satisfied grin, he said, “Unfortunately, you can’t leave without your clothes.”

  Gwen could no longer resist the urge to kiss the smug expression from his face. Their lips met suddenly, a frantic emotional energy surging through the contact that was more powerful than anything she’d ever felt before. It was as though they were trying to devour one another. She gave in to the sensation, letting the unbridled passion overpower her.

  His hands scrambled over her bare skin in a rush to touch every inch of her as though it were the first, or maybe the last, time. When their lips parted, she sucked in a much-needed breath. Alex took the opportunity to taste her breasts, the wet heat of his mouth enveloping her aching nipples and teasing them with his tongue and teeth until she cried out and writhed against him.

  The grinding together of their most sensitive parts sent a spike of need down her spine. The pulsating sensation urged her to do it again, but this time, not just to torture him. The warm pool of arousal in her belly grew with each passing second. She wanted Alex. Needed him unlike any other man, and she wasn’t ashamed to admit it tonight.

  “I want you, Alex,” she whispered. She buried her fingers in his blond hair, tugging him closer.