Love and Werewolves

by Cate Farren

  ***

  Valko spent the next half hour cleaning up the mess he’d made with the broken TV and wandering around the cabin. It was bigger inside than he’d first imagined. Aside from the main part of the house, which contained the kitchen, a small living room area, and his own bed, there was Alanna’s room, and another smaller room which served as a library. The vampire had hundreds of books, many of them first editions. He didn’t read much, mainly spy thrillers, but he was quite impressed by her small collection.

  Thrillers, horrors, literary classics…and spell books?

  Vampires couldn’t perform magic. What did she need with spell books?

  There was a fading map on the wall of the area. Mining tunnels were drawn on it. Several dozen of them were crossed out with a pencil.

  “Odd,” he whispered.

  He thought back to the hammering noises he’d heard the other night. Maybe they weren’t the noise of a hammer on metal at all.

  He made his way into the barn, and the smell of his own blood assaulted him almost immediately, like a thwack to the head. He could almost make out the outline of a body in the corner made from dried blood. How could he have survived losing so much blood? It didn’t appear possible, yet here he was, snooping around a barn owned by a reclusive vampire.

  He smiled at the cow, whose tail wagged in greeting. He patted her on the head. She seemed to enjoy it.

  “How you doing today?” he asked pleasantly.

  He’d grown up around cattle his entire life. He’d milked his first cow when he was just five. He’d learned to ride a horse not much later. Beguiling animals was as second nature to him as his own breathing.

  There was a bucket and a hose nearby on a wooden table. Both were stained with blood. He looked back at the cow, and noticed several healed wounds around her body.

  She lived off the cow.

  He stroked the cow again, and felt a little sorry for it. Did it know it was just food for Alanna? He knew cows weren’t as stupid as most people imagined, though they were pretty dumb.

  “Are you okay, sweetie?” he asked.

  The cow’s tail continued to swish. She seemed happy enough, even contented. He could feel it.

  He moved away from the cow, who seemed content to follow him around like a lost puppy. He found some sort of doorway into a basement type area. He pulled it open, and coughed at all the dust and stale air that shot up his nostrils.

  “I wonder where this leads?” he pondered.

  He walked down a length of wooden steps, and found himself in the basement. The walls were rock, none of them reinforced by wooden beams like in most basement and mines. The place was empty apart from rows of shelves that contained empty glass jars. Were they pickle jars? Jam jars? Leftovers from a previous owner?

  He picked up one the jars and opened the lid. It smelled of old blood inside.

  This must be where she stored blood. It’d be kept cool down here.

  His theory was proven when he found a single glass jar filled with blood. Even through the lid, he knew the blood was ready to go off any day now.

  There was a cold draught blowing in from somewhere.

  He looked around a bit more, and found another doorway. It was bolted shut.

  What is she keeping down here?

  He pulled across the bolt and opened the door. A small, barely perceptible cold wind hit his face. It was coming from some sort of mine shaft. He stepped through the door and followed a long corridor hewn from the rock. It was cold down here, really cold. The air smelled of stale dirt. It was creepy.

  After ten minutes, Valko realized he was lost. There were so many tunnels, all of them seemingly picked at with an axe. He knew without a doubt that Alanna had done this. Alone. It must have taken her decades, maybe longer, to create so many tunnels underground. The work must have been backbreaking and arduous and lonely, even for a vampire. What was she looking for? What was so important that she had to spend so much of her life digging?

  He leaned against the wall, and tried to remember the way back. He was normally good with memorizing things and reading maps, but he’d been so confused about why Alanna was digging tunnels, he’d lost his train of thought.

  Shit. The last thing I need is to get lost down here for all eternity.

  He closed his eyes, and put himself in the mind of a wolf. The wolf would remember. A wolf always knew which way to go.

  He caught hold of something in his mind. It was the wolf. He grinned, grabbing on to it. He thought he felt the change starting inside him.

  Yes! Come on!

  But the wolf still wouldn’t come. It was so tantalizingly close that he could almost feel the fur sprouting from his back and the claws exploding from his fingers.

  “No!” he screamed. His voice echoed around the tunnels, despair ridden and full of self pity. “Damn it!”

  He knew he had to wait and heal. The wolf would come. Yet not being able to change was torture. He was disconnected from himself. He was barred from being who he was.

  The wolf isn’t wholly what I am, who I am, but…

  He noticed a pick axe that leaned against the chipped wall. He picked it up, and found that it was drenched with Alanna’s scent. His curiosity pushed aside his terror of not being able to change, at least for the time being.

  “What are you doing down here?”

  He propped the axe where he’d found it, and made his way out. The tunnels weren’t nearly as long or as complex as he’d imagined. Maybe he’d just been so horrified at the thought of being stuck underground that he’d lost his mind a little.

  He closed the basement door, and found that the cow had her attention placed elsewhere. Alanna was standing there, watching him.

  Chapter 8

  “What were you doing down there?” she asked again.

  He was dressed in his grandfather’s clothes. They looked good on him. So good that it made her miss the man more than ever. They even looked the same. It was eerily uncanny.

  He’s been snooping through my things. That’s the only way he could’ve gotten those clothes.

  He crossed his arms defiantly. “You have a mine.”

  “It’s just an old gold mine,” she stated. Bella was swishing her tail, staring at him with loving eyes. Traitor. “I store blood down there to keep it cool.”

  “There’s evidence of recent activity. You’re digging for something.”

  “You had no right to go snooping through my things and steal my clothes!”

  She turned her back on him and stormed into the main part of the cabin. She went into her bedroom, and found everything neat and tidy and as she’d left it. He hadn’t made a mess, which was a good thing.

  “I was cold,” he said behind her, following her into her room. “Did you expect me to parade around naked all the time?”

  “I expect you to respect my privacy!” she shouted.

  She pushed him away and slammed the door in his face.

  “I’m sorry,” he called.

  Alanna ignored him. She felt like a petulant child but she couldn’t help it. All she had in the world was contained in this house. It felt like a violation to have someone look at her things.

  The door creaked open. Alanna fanged out, desperately wanting to hurt somebody. When Valko didn’t shy away from her anger she sighed and sat back on her bed. She could feel safe around him.

  “I won’t snoop again,” he told her. “I promise.”

  “Maybe I should never have been so secretive,” she admitted. She patted the bed beside her. He sat down uncomfortably close, their knees touching. He smelled good. Really good. “Perhaps it’s time I opened up. You told me how you got to be here. It’s only fair I do the same.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  She shook her head. “I have to. I really have to.”

  She looked at the framed photo on her bedside cabinet. Her sister had been so beautiful, even at ninety-eight years old. The past seemed so far away, even if the memories were available at
the drop of a hat.

  She cleared her throat. “Let me tell you a story of regret and murder.”

  ***

  When she was finished, she let Valko digest her tale. She didn’t tell him anything that had happened since she’d left Pod’s Mill. There wasn’t anything to tell really. Nothing of precedence happened. Her life had been one long, lonely voyage ever since.

  Even the time I spent with Valko’s grandfather was anti-climactic. He could never love me like I wanted.

  “I won’t ever regret killing that monster. No matter what the sheriff insisted, I knew he would’ve gotten away with it. I knew it. People like Randall need to be put in their place. People like him need to…” She shook her head and stood up. “I’m sorry. That’s the old, angry, bitter me resurfacing. I’m sorry.”

  Even now she was appalled at what killing Randall had turned her into. That cold, vicious murderer seemed like another person, someone she’d seen off a long time ago.

  “He deserved it,” said Valko.

  She nodded. “I know.”

  She ignored his pitying looks and stalked away, eager to put this conversation behind them. She didn’t want to talk about Randall ever again. She didn’t even want to think about that creature, that sad excuse for a human being.

  But by God I wished he were alive so I could kill that bastard all over again.

  Alanna couldn’t help but grin. She’d enjoyed killing Randall.

  “You never did answer me about the mine,” Valko called as he followed her into the main part of the cabin. She looked around, and found the place dirty and quaint. She didn’t want Adrian to think she was primitive. It needed a clean up. “Alanna?”

  She picked up her dust pan and brush, ready to sweep the floor. It was already clean.

  He cleaned while I was out? How odd.

  She went to the sink and started to fill it up with water. There were still a few dirty dishes. It wouldn’t do for Adrian to see dirty dishes all piled up.

  She felt his towering presence behind her. She actually felt a little intimidated, though not because she was scared of him. She knew she could kill him in a matter of seconds.

  I’m attracted to him.

  Is it because he looks so much like his namesake, or is it just him?

  Maybe it’s a combination of both.

  “I’m prospecting for gold,” she said, which wasn’t technically a lie. She had found the odd bit of gold on occasion. “I can’t live off thin air. Occasionally I find a few nuggets and I take them into town and I exchange them for money.”

  “Oh,” he said, disappointed.

  She put the last of the dishes into the sink and turned to him. She felt smug, like she’d bested him. It felt good.

  “You seem much better now that you’re rummaging through my home,” she said. “Tell me how you are.”

  “You seem to be in higher spirits too,” he said.

  She nodded. “It was nice, going out. I suppose I missed interacting with people.”

  She was about to tell him about Adrian’s impending visit when he said, “You have a nice smile.”

  He was so close now he was practically in her face. The shirt he was wearing was tight, and emphasized his muscles. She’s had plenty of opportunities to study his naked form before, and she’s been gobsmacked by how beautiful he was. Yet seeing him so casual, unaware of how sensual he seemed to be acting towards her, made him even more beautiful.

  He has to know he’s flirting with me. He’s not stupid.

  “I don’t have many opportunities to smile,” she confessed.

  “Neither do I,” he said.

  She held her hand out, stroking his beard. It still hadn’t grown in properly because of the damage done to his jaw. It might never grow properly again, which was a shame. The feel of the soft hairs on the tips of her fingers made her tingle.

  He looks so much like him…

  She pulled her hand away, suddenly afraid. She didn’t want to be rejected again, forced to live alone again. When Valko was healed, he would leave her. His family would always come first, and she respected that. Why put herself through more heartbreak when she didn’t have to?

  “You’re trembling,” he whispered.

  “You’re being presumptuous,” she snapped.

  “You were the one who touched my beard.” He studied her long and hard before adding, “You can touch it again if you want.”

  She held her hand out, wanting to touch him, to feel him. When she tried to pull back he grabbed her hand, softly.

  “What are you doing?” she demanded.

  “You’re not struggling,” he said.

  He began to knead the back of her hand with his thumb, slowly and sensuously. It felt so good she almost groaned. His fingers were thick, calloused, proper working hands. These hands could work magic.

  “I tried to change into a wolf,” he said as he worked away.

  She looked up into his eyes. “It didn’t work.”

  “How did you know?” he asked.

  She pulled her hand away and leaned against the sink. From this angle she could see the front window, which was piling up with snow. Adrian would never be able to get through in this weather. But what if he tried and ended up getting himself killed?

  I have to go back and warn him.

  “How did you know?” he asked again.

  “You’re too weak,” she told him. “Plus there’s probably a psychological issue at work too.”

  Adrian isn’t an idiot. He won’t come if he knows he can’t make it.

  He lifted one eyebrow curiously. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

  She brought herself fully back to the conversation in hand, as much as she regretted looking into his eyes. “I heard your story. I know how you feel. That feeling of failure, of hopelessness, could stop you from turning.”

  He appeared to find the notion insulting. She hadn’t meant to upset him, only tell him the truth as she saw it.

  “Or I could just be too weak,” he said.

  She shrugged. “What do I know? I’m just guessing here.”

  “Maybe it’s a bit of both.” He turned away, looking torn. He sighed. “You’re right. I know you’re right. It’s just hard to admit.”

  He walked over to his bed and climbed back in it. He didn’t pull the covers over himself. He just stared at the ceiling, as if contemplating his entire existence. She knew how that felt. She’d been in that same frame of mind for nearly two-hundred years. It was exhausting.

  ***

  During dinner Alanna thought about the werewolf she’d seen in town. She knew it was only a matter of time before they found Valko. He couldn’t hide forever. The thing she really wanted to know was: how come they hadn’t followed Valko’s scent back to her cabin? He’d left a trail of blood and matted fur. Even a normal human could track something like that.

  Something doesn’t add up.

  She thought about her journey through the forest into town. There hadn’t been a trail or a single drop of blood. She hadn’t smelled a single thing. If vampires knew one thing, it was the scent of blood.

  “So you’re a millionaire?” he asked.

  He seemed to be enjoying her stew a lot more today. He was positively wolfing it down. He was getting his energy back, healing faster. Pretty soon he’d be back to his fighting best.

  “Hardly,” she said. “Gold isn’t worth as much as it used to.”

  He rolled his eyes. “So you’re sticking with the gold thing?”

  “Don’t you roll your eyes at me. It’s really annoying.”

  He laughed, and she joined in. It felt good, natural. Valko’s namesake hadn’t had much of a sense of humor. Not that she didn’t blame him, after all he’d been through, but this stark difference between them made her like this Valko a little more.

  She watched him eat for a bit longer, her eyes mesmerized by his jawline and the way he chewed. He was methodical, chewing every morsel longer than she thought was necessary.
<
br />   “Why do you chew so much?” she asked.

  “It’s better for your digestion,” he said, mouth half full.

  Alanna’s stomach rumbled. It sounded like the roar of thunder in the silence of the cabin. Valko laughed again.

  “I like that you make me laugh,” he admitted. “Even though I should be an emotional wreck right about now.” She smiled, and he continued, “My grandmother, Valko’s daughter, taught me to always go through life with the positive, to smile. I’ve tried to adhere to that, even when… even when all I want to do is curl up and die.”

  He took a sip of water from a glass, and spilled some liquid onto his beard. She grabbed a towel and came to his aid, slowly wiping away the mess, taking care to linger.

  “I could’ve done that,” he insisted, staring up into her.

  She leaned down to kiss him, her hand dropping the towel onto the floor. Just as their lips were about to meet Alanna’s stomach made another almighty rumble.

  Maybe this is fate’s way of telling me I’m going to die alone.

  “I’m hungry,” she said as she pulled away, even though his lips had been so tantalizingly close she could almost taste him. “Do you want to watch me drain blood from my cow?”

  Why do I want him to find him me repulsive?

  “I’d rather stick razor blades down the backs of my fingernails,” he stated.

  She turned to him, peeved. “I don’t hurt her. I’d never put her in any pain. She’s family. She keeps me alive, and in return I keep her alive.”

  “As a blood bank.”

  He wasn’t angry now, just annoyed. She wasn’t surprised. He’d probably killed wild animals while in his wolf form.

  I should hope not. This is who I am. This is…

  She mentally told herself to shut up. He wasn’t starting an argument.

  “She’s family,” said Alanna, smiling, thinking about her bovine friend. “She’s the only companionship I’ve had for a long time.”

  He was inquisitive now, a look which made him very attractive.

  “She’s a cow,” he said.

  She held her hand out. “Come with me. I’ll show you. What else have you got to do?”

  When it looked like he was about to take her hand, she pulled it away from him. He actually seemed disappointed.