Volume 5 - The Rampage of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  “We will keep experiencing the events that have occurred in the same timeframe.”

  You’ve said this before.

  “To be precise, from August the seventeenth to the thirty-first.”

  Koizumi’s words sounded rather bizarre to me.

  “In other words, we are forever trapped in a never-ending summer vacation.”

  “It is very much summer vacation right now.”

  “It is an ENDLESS SUMMER that will not terminate itself. Within this world, let alone fall, not even September will come. In other words, this world has no future beyond August. Asahina cannot return to the future for this reason, and it is logically sound. One cannot contact the future if the future does not exist, which can be taken as self-evident.”

  It is senseless in physics to think of NO FUTURE. Time should flow on its own even if you ignore it. I said the following as I looked at Asahina’s head:

  “Who would believe such a thing?”

  “At least you must, since none of this can be mentioned to Suzumiya-san at all.”

  Koizumi looked over at Asahina-san as well.

  Later on, Asahina-san basically explained this issue to me. Of course, sniffles were intertwined with the explanation.

  “Uuu… Lemme think… I have continued to use classified information to contact the future or to do classified information… Urr. I only feel something is wrong when I have had no contact from classified information for a week. And then classified information… Makes me very worried, so I tried to use classified information and the answer was classified information… Uuu… Waa! Whatever should I do…”

  What to do? I have no clue. Is classified information some highly sensitive words that must be censored?

  “Are we by any chance trapped in one of those bizarre worlds created by Haruhi? Like a physical version of closed space or something similar?”

  Koizumi hugged his chest as he leaned on the vending machine, slowly contradicting my argument.

  “This time, Suzumiya-san did not recreate the world, but instead severed time, from August seventeenth through the thirty-first. As such, this world right now only has a lifespan of two weeks. There is no time before the seventeenth, nor is there any from the first of September on. In other words, this is a world where September will never arrive.”

  He took a long sigh, as if whistling defeat.

  “Time will reset when it reaches twenty-four o’clock on the thirty-first of August, returning to the seventeenth. I don’t know the details, but it appears that there is a SAVE POINT at the dawn of the seventeenth.”

  Then what of our… No, the memory of all of humanity?

  “They will all be readjusted. The collective memory of all humans throughout the two weeks will be zeroed and restarted from the beginning.”

  This world really enjoys turning time about back and forth. This can’t be helped, though, with a time traveller in our midst.

  “No, this does not involve Asahina-san. It is not as simplistic as you have speculated.”

  How would you know?

  “Only Suzumiya-san possesses the qualities to undertake such an endeavor. Who might you have in mind of other than her?”

  Those who would think about who is responsible for such things when they’re bored are either absent-minded or daydream all the time.

  “Just cut to the chase and tell me what to do about this.”

  “That would be much easier if I had a solution for this problem.”

  For some reason, I thought Koizumi looked rather gleeful, with no sign of concern. Why is that?

  “Because I have finally resolved this feeling of incoherence which has puzzled me for some time.”

  Which would mean that only you are out of the woods.

  “You as well, I assume? Have you not experienced a powerful sense of déjà vu, from the day we visited the city pool up till now? In retrospect, those flashbacks are remnants of the previous incarnation—as there is no other explanation. Now, all of this has been addressed. The anomalies that we experience are the remaining segments from the reset.”

  Wouldn’t all human beings have felt this?

  “Supposedly, no. You and I are special exceptions. It appears that only those who are near Suzumiya-san are likely to experience the changes to the world.”

  “What of Haruhi? Does that woman have no sense whatsoever?”

  “It seems not. If she did, this matter would be far more complicated…”

  Koizumi glanced in the direction of Nagato, asking for the alien’s input.

  Nagato answered with a calm expression.

  “This would be the fifteen-thousand four hundred ninety-eighth time.”

  A spell of dizziness set in.

  Fifteen-thousand four hundred ninety-eight. That takes up thirty-seven letters. Arabic numeral notation is 15,498, which feels like a lot less. The Arabic numeral is brilliant. Whoever thought of this deserves my profuse thanks. You are incredible for developing this convenient, nonessential, and completely illogical notation.

  “The same two weeks have repeated for more than ten thousand times. Assuming any layperson could feel that they were trapped in this loop and memory accumulated, they would break down. As for the memories of Suzumiya-san, I suspect that they must have been wiped much more thoroughly than ours.”

  One must consult the oracle in such moments. I asked for Nagato’s confirmation:

  “Is this so?”

  “Yes.”

  Nagato nodded.

  “So we have already done whatever it is we will be doing tomorrow? Would the O-bon and the goldfish be like that as well?”

  “Not necessarily.”

  Nagato conveyed not a shred of emotion.

  “There are discrepancies with Suzumiya Haruhi’s activities within the last fifteen-thousand four hundred ninety-seven cycles.”

  She looked toward me slightly and continued.

  “In the last fifteen-thousand four hundred ninety-seven cycles, O-bon has been omitted twice. O-bon sans goldfish catching occurred a total of four hundred thirty-seven times. The city pool has been visited without fail as of this cycle. Part-time work has been conducted a total of nine-thousand twenty-five times with six variations in the nature of the work. Other than distributing balloons, there has also been stock loading, cash register, flyer distributions, call answering, as well as a model fashion show. There have been six-thousand eleven balloon distributions, with three hundred sixty overlaps in two or more variations. Repeated iterations sorted by order of combination are—”

  “That’s enough, you don’t have to continue.”

  I started to think to myself after the alien-made artificial human quieted down.

  The last two weeks of August have been repeated for fifteen thousand and… how many hundred again? Argh… annoying. 15,498 times, there we go. The cycle begins anew after the thirty-first of August and returns to the seventeenth. That, and I have no recollection of this, and Nagato remembers this to the last detail—why is that?

  “Nagato-san, or more precisely the Data Integration Entity, exists outside the boundaries of space and time.”

  The rather proud smile of Koizumi seemed a bit stiff, maybe because of the lighting.

  Never mind, that’s not important, just leave it for now. I knew Nagato’s cranium could withstand such a thing, but that wasn’t my concern. What I was concerned with was…

  “Nagato, you have experienced the events of these two weeks for 15,498 times as well?”

  “Yes.”

  Nagato nodded as if it didn’t matter. Can’t you reveal more than just a simple yes? Although I couldn’t think of what she might say other than that word. But—

  “Hmm…”

  Wait. 15,498 x two weeks. The total would be 216,972 days. Eh—roughly 594 years worth of days. This girl had carried on through the passing of every single one of those days, every single cycle, and had witnessed everything that had occurred nonchalantly. Even the most patient of humans would be dr
ained of patience after that. If you don’t believe me, try and take 15,498 dips in the city pool.

  “You…”

  I hushed myself the moment I let out that word. Nagato cocked her head like a bird as she stared into me.

  A vibe that emanated from Nagato by the swimming pool reawakened. She looked rather bored at that moment, which I suppose wasn’t my fault. Even for Nagato, having to relive such a moment so many times would no doubt be toiling. Although on the surface she hasn’t uttered a word of complaint, she might be cursing in the dark… This thought flashed through my head. I finally had a grasp on what was going on, but the underlying reasons hadn’t been verified.

  “Why would Haruhi do such a thing?”

  “I have a personal hunch.”

  With his typical opener, Koizumi continued:

  “Suzumiya-san perhaps has no wish for summer vacation to end. Because she thinks that way inside her mind, summer vacation has become an endless recursion.”

  Isn’t that like the reason brats refuse to go to school?

  Koizumi subconsciously touched the rim of his can of coffee.

  “I suspect that she might be half-heartedly preparing for the new semester, since she did not finish all the things that she wanted to do during the last two weeks of summer. In other words, there are many regrets in her. As such, she faces the evening of the thirty-first with an unfulfilled heart…”

  And as soon as she wakes up, there are two weeks worth of summer vacation waiting for her, right? How should I put this… I suppose melancholy more than defeat described my current mentality. I know she is one who is able to do just about anything to get what she wants, but never had I imagined that her thickheadedness could reach such heights.

  “If so, what must be done before the woman will be satisfied?”

  “I do not know. Nagato-san, do you know?”

  “No.”

  The answer came in a crisp fashion. Out of all of us, you are the most dependable! I couldn’t refrain from projecting my thoughts.

  “Why is it that you have said nothing? We’ve ended up dancing a two-week waltz thousands of times.”

  After a spell of silence, Nagato said, lightly:

  “My duty is to observe.”

  “…I see.”

  This gave me some closure. Nagato had not been actively involved in any of our events up till now, but her existence was pivotal to virtually every single event. I daresay that the only time this girl had engaged others actively would be that time when she led me to her home. With that being the only exception, Nagato had participated with us by manning a vital position without a sound.

  I hadn’t forgotten that Nagato Yuki is a humanoid interface made by the Data Integration Entity to communicate, as well as a biological android created to observe Suzumiya Haruhi. I wondered if a safety on her emotional displays might be in her specifications perchance.

  “Nevermind, that doesn’t matter.”

  Before all of that, Nagato Yuki to me is an avid reader, one of little words, built with a small frame, but a completely dependable partner.

  Of all the SOS Brigade members, Nagato possesses the broadest knowledge as well as the most active mind. With those in mind, I decided to ask the know-it-all further.

  “How many times have we discovered this?”

  My sudden question seemed anticipated by Nagato, as she calmly answered:

  “Eight-thousand seven-hundred sixty-nine times. Frequency of detection increases with each iteration.”

  “That is because of the sense of incoherence and familiarity, perhaps.”

  Koizumi said this matter-of-factly.

  “But even in those repeating cycles, even if we discovered our situation, we still failed to remedy the situation and restore time?”

  “Correct,” Nagato replied.

  No wonder Asahina-san broke down. She cries like this because she knows this fact. The moment she realizes once more that she has lost two weeks’ worth of body growth and memories due to the reset… And then to be devastated again after discovering that she is trapped in this rut.

  I have already thought of this an uncountable number of times. Ever since I first met Haruhi in the spring, I find myself thinking like this whenever some crisis occurs because of her, whether that be now or in the past.

  That’s not good.

  No doubt this is the 8,769th time that I have thought of this within these two weeks.

  This is too much…

  Yet another fairytale.

  The day after that was stargazing.

  The locale was the roof of Nagato’s apartment building. The clumsy and bulky telescope came courtesy of Koizumi. He had it mounted on a tripod. We started at eight o’clock in the night.

  The night sky looked quite bleak, as did Asahina-san’s face. Her facial expression was either dumbstruck or in disarray. My feelings were also a mess, so it really wasn’t the time to stare at the stars.

  Koizumi extended the smile on his face as he set up the telescope.

  “This was my hobby back when I was a kid. I was so touched when I first saw the moons of Jupiter.”

  Nagato, as usual, stood still on the rooftop as a sentry.

  I shifted my view to the night sky, but I could only see two or three stars. The air was too polluted in the city to see much. To say that “there is no sky” at this point would’ve been quite fitting. Come winter, when the atmosphere clears up, Orion would show itself.

  The head of the telescope took aim at Earth’s neighbour. Haruhi, with her head poking about, said:

  “No.”

  “No what?”

  “No Martian?”

  I don’t hope for Martians to exist. Just think, a couple of octopus-looking monsters wriggling about as they discuss their Earth invasion plan. No matter how sweet their mouths are, I can’t use the term “interesting” to describe them.

  “Why is that? They might be very friendly. Look, there’s nobody on the surface, so they must be the type to hide underground. This is the best proof that they’re afraid of startling us humans because they’re nice.”

  Haruhi seemed to have underground dwellers in mind for her imaginary Martian. Please, at least tell me what kind. Would it be Pellucidar? Or those from Mars Attacks? If it is a combination of the two, things could get ugly. Think simple; the simpler the better.

  “They might be doing prep work inside so that when the first Mars lander finally lands, they could come out and welcome humans in surprise! They might even say, ‘Welcome to Mars, neighbors! We welcome you!’”

  That would be even scarier. If there’s a mishap, it would turn from a surprise to a fright. I have no idea who might be the first to land on Martian soil, but it might be best to give him an advance notice so he is emotionally prepared. Is it fine to send mail to NASA?

  We took turns looking at the outlines of Mars and the Lunar craters as time went by. Just when I started wondering why we lost a man, I found Asahina-san with her eyes shut, head tilted as she hugged her knees, and leaned over the fence that prevents one from falling to an untimely death from the rooftop. She must have had a sleepless night yesterday, so I’ll just let her be.

  Haruhi, apparently tired of staring at the unchanging night sky, remarked:

  “Let’s hunt for UFOs! They must be aiming at Earth, who knows if there’s advanced scouts over the low orbits right as we speak.”

  Haruhi happily turned the telescope about, but got tired of that quickly. She sat down next to Asahina-san, and fell into slumber while leaning on her narrow shoulder.

  Koizumi whispered:

  “Tired?”

  “Kind of hard to imagine that she would be even more exhausted than us.”

  Haruhi was in deep sleep. This gave me the urge to doodle all over her face. However, her sleepy visage wasn’t one I wanted to deface. That woman is quite a looker if she doesn’t say a word. It would be better if she and Nagato swapped minds. A totally expressionless Haruhi is already hard to comprehend, whi
le a jittery and expressive Nagato is just beyond me.

  With the night breeze gushing about, I looked at Asahina-san and Haruhi, sleeping next to each other. Those two made for decent competition as they were right now.

  With the night breeze gushing about, I looked at Asahina-san and Haruhi, sleeping next to each other. Those two made for decent competition as they were right now. Maybe some people might find Haruhi more outstanding. Hmm… Definitely.

  “Just what does she want to do?”

  I let this out with the air of a sigh.

  “Could it be to have fun with some friends and have a great time?”

  “Perhaps. Speaking of Suzumiya-san’s friends, we would be them.”

  Koizumi gazed at the other end of the cosmos.

  “If so, the most important thing is to find out just what will satisfy her. Should we fail, this cycle of time will never end. We can only accompany her until she finds her very wants that go unfulfilled and makes them happen. Fortunately and thankfully, memory adjustment exists, or we would suffer a nervous breakdown from this eventually.”

  Repeated for fifteen-thousand four-hundred ninety-eight times.

  Is this for real? Could Nagato merely be scaring us? To put it plainly, this was beyond belief just from hearing it, but if the originator was Haruhi, it couldn’t be denied. The unknown mysterious power of that woman always put us in deep water subconsciously. No matter if it were from her reckless nature or deep within her psyche, the same brand of troubles would always befall us. She was just that kind of person, the kind that will give you trouble no matter what.

  I thought before that we who always accommodated the thoughtless Haruhi might be qualified to be nominated as goodwill ambassadors. Each member of the SOS Brigade has a better temper than the last. And to think that I happened to be a pivotal figure in deciding the fate of the world. This makes me suspect that the world was abnormal from the start.

  To further iterate this point, the naïve notion that the world which we safeguard must be righteous is simply bullshit that is made and mass produced by humans under the guidance of ideologies and doctrines. There are plenty of bigots that blindly advertise this self-centered slander and force it upon others. I say to them that they should at least think of what the generations millennia later might have to conclude about them.