Magic and Mayhem: How To Date A Dragon (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Baba Yaga Saga Book 2)

by Donna McDonald

  Hildy lifted her chin. “No there aren’t. Jezibaba serves the Goddess Morgana, as will Carol and I. Maybe narrow-minded dragons like you should just leave important decisions to your wiser hoard leaders.”

  Thane’s laughter over her defense of her calling made her angry. Her hands itched to reduce him to something green she could put into a box.

  “Maybe you might make it as a Baba Yaga witch after all, Hildy. There is a fierceness hiding behind all those childish pink frills. Don’t worry though. The contrast between your appearance and that hidden stream of viciousness is quite alluring to me.”

  “That does it. First you insult my training. Now you’ve insulted my fashion sense. Thanks for walking me home—Not. Have a nice life, dragon boy.” Hildy turned to march away, but suddenly felt her arm being yanked.

  More laughter met her ears as she was turned and hauled into Thane’s arms. He hugged her as if they were a long time couple having a brief quarrel.

  “I’m sorry. Truly. I don’t like you being this angry at me. I have no finesse with females. My uncle Damien is supposed to be teaching me how to relate to them better. I’m not afraid of your magic or of you, little witch. It’s just that understanding the limits of your power probably makes me braver than I should be. And it harm none… right? Isn’t that your creed?”

  Hildy wiggled, a little alarmed to find she was held firm. “Harm is relative to the situation… and I know your game now, Thane. Guys who look like you don’t think they need to be respectful or polite. I’m sure you’ll eventually find someone willing to put up with your snide remarks and chest-thumping crap, but that will never be me. Now let me go before I get really mad.”

  “I think I’d enjoy seeing that. What will you do if I don’t let you go?” Thane asked in a sexy whisper. “I know you find me more appealing than those shifter boys who can’t even form a cohesive sentence around you.”

  Hildy narrowed her gaze. “No—actually I don’t. You’re an asswipe in academic clothing. Plenty of guys have gotten handsy with me over the years, bub. Carol’s not the only one who can protect herself. Now I’m warning you for the last time… let me go.”

  His snicker preceded his mouth bending to hers. The first touch was like someone striking a match. A thousand flames lit inside her and the heat went everywhere. It figured a dragon would pack that kind of sensual punch. Why was it always the jerks who kissed so well?

  Thane pulled away to meet her angrier gaze. “Now we kiss again and make up, yes? We easily became friends earlier. I know you feel the chemistry between us. You and I were obviously meant to be lovers, not enemies.”

  “Apologies shouldn’t come with sarcastic chuckles, Flamey-O. I’m not going to be fooled any longer by your good looks or that smarmy charm of yours.”

  His low laughter had her renewing her struggles. The easy way he resisted her efforts to free herself sent her into the first panic she’d felt around him. Hildy decided she hated feeling fearful most of all.

  “I look forward to being taught such niceness at the hands of a genuine Baba Yaga initiate. Do your worst to me, witch. Then we will kiss again and you will tell me how wonderful it is to be in my arms.”

  Hildy stopped and stared into his beautiful laughing eyes. The truth hit her as hard as any lesson the Jezibaba had ever administered. It wasn’t the dragon restraining her that bothered her. She could magically transport herself away. In general, she liked shifters and their strength. Yes, she did find that part of him sexy. What irked her was the way Thane’s sexy, kissable mouth was turned up in a smirk simply because he’d didn’t respect her power.

  She hated that—really hated that. Then suddenly she hated him too. A kind of magic she’d never felt before lit up all her nerve endings. Behind that was the temper she normally kept in check. “Okay. That does it. I’ve had enough of this.”

  Thane was strong, but it turned out he hadn’t been prepared for a genuine fight. She whispered thanks to the Goddess for the Amazon who trained her.

  Putting real intention behind her power, Hildy twisted loose from his hold, spun in the dragon’s arms, and ended her escape with a round-house kick to the side of his head before springing away to land on her feet.

  The force of her kick knocked the young, arrogant dragon backwards just enough. She smiled with great satisfaction as she raised her hands over her head.

  “Goddess Morgana, hear my plea,

  Make this dragon a creature of the sea,

  Make him weak and dependent on me,

  As I will, so mote it be.”

  When nothing happened, Thane snorted. He looked down at himself and back up at Hildy. “Next time try constructing your little poem in iambic pentameter. It might work better then.”

  Hildy felt her back straighten as the magic surged and gathered into her hands. She got it now. She got why the Jezibaba was the way she was. Three hundred years of such disrespect would drive any witch crazy.

  “I wasn’t finished yet, sulfur breath.”

  Hildy flung her hands in Thane’s direction and seconds later a six inch floppy fish with green dragon scales lay on the ground where the handsome dragon had stood.

  She grinned widely as she bent, scooped him up, and put him into her skirt. If Carol always felt like this when she won a battle, no wonder her friend liked fighting. Her pleasure over having handled the dragon on her own was large enough to fill the entire courtyard outside the dorm.

  She was proud of herself for not giving in to the panic Thane’s disrespect had caused her. It was good to find that she hadn’t been completely scarred from being zapped by a dragon when she was ten.

  “Okay. Let’s see if spending the night in the toilet bowl improves your manners, dragon boy. Don’t worry though. I’ll put a No Flushing sign on the lid so Carol won’t accidently send you down the sewage pipe… not that losing one future arrogant asshole of a dragon would be a great loss to the world. Be grateful I’m not filing assault charges with the council or telling Damien what you did.”

  Hildy walked inside the dorm, humming as she carried her prisoner to her room.

  ***

  Carol shook her head. She was still having trouble believing what her nearly always timid friend had done with no remorse. Disbelief pushed her raised eyebrows high into her hairline as she and a grinning Hildy peered down into the toilet bowl together. A green dragon fish swam angrily around in circles.

  Carol looked up and met her friend’s pleased gaze. Hildy’s pride did not bode well for either of them. “I know this is usually your line instead of mine… but I really don’t want to get into this kind of trouble on our Dedication Day. You’ve got to change Thane back into a dragon.”

  “No. I don’t want to.”

  Carol smiled, but sobered quickly. “Change him back… or I’m telling the Jezibaba.”

  Hildy crossed her arms. “Fine. Tell her. It was worth it. I would do it again. When I tell her what happened, she’ll understand like a real friend should.”

  Carol shook her head. “I am a real friend. That’s why I’m asking you to think about this rationally. Thane is Professor Smoke’s assistant. He will be missed when he doesn’t come to work tomorrow and all the dragon guards will come looking for him. If you voluntarily change him back tonight, maybe we can talk Thane into not telling anyone what you did to him.”

  Hildy snorted and shrugged. “Thane was rude and grabby and arrogant. He’d just spin the story to make it sound like I was the bad guy. I can’t believe I ever thought he was cute. Well, he was cute I guess, but no one that good looking should be such a… such a… meanie.”

  Carol ran a restless hand through her hair. “I don’t believe this. You never get this mad at anyone, especially anyone male. The only time you ever reacted like this before was when you turned Ron into a rat for insulting your blue dance dress.”

  “I love that blue dress. It fits me perfectly and makes my eyes sparkle. Ron was just saying bad things about it to see if he could make me mad enoug
h to snap. Well, it worked,” Hildy declared, snapping her fingers. “But it wasn’t the insults that got to me that time either. You didn’t see Ron trying to reach his hand down the top of my dress to cop a feel. I had to make him take me seriously. I just had to.”

  Carol blew out a breath. She looked at the swimming fish in the toilet. “I’m not saying this isn’t a good way to punish a jerk. I’m just saying this is bad timing. I’m both proud and strangely appalled by this surprising insight into the temper you do a good job of hiding from the world. I thought you mostly got over turning people into toads by the time we were thirteen.”

  Hildy pointed to the toilet bowl. “I did get over it. Thane’s a fish, not a toad.”

  “But he’s supposed to be a dragon.”

  “Who are you to judge me, Carol? You performed magical BDSM on a senior elf tonight, so I don’t want to hear any lectures from you. Of all people, you should understand this completely.”

  “Tell me the truth. Did Thane insult your pink fairy clothes?” Carol demanded.

  Hildy lifted a shoulder. “Yes, but that honestly wasn’t why I turned him into a fish. He was being a jerk to me. Now I’m teaching him a lesson in manners.”

  Carol hung her head. “This is probably my fault for all the wimp jokes. I created a pissed-off witch monster with my teasing. How can I get through to you?”

  Hildy rose, went to the sink, and started removing her makeup. “You can’t.”

  Carol stood and walked to stand by her friend who’d clearly lost her mind. “Remember when we decided that some couples just didn’t have any real chemistry? We’d watch them be all lovey dovey one day only to start magically zapping each other the next. Both soon went on to date other people.”

  Hildy nodded as she washed her face. “What’s that got to do with Thane being an ass?”

  “Don’t you think that’s maybe what happened tonight? Maybe you over-reacted to the bad chemistry between you and Thane. Maybe being a powerful witch made your relationship with him implode faster. Don’t you think that happens to interspecies dating couples all the time?”

  Hilde snorted. “Why are you talking like a psychiatrist, Carol? I’m not fooled by your sudden interest in how I handle my relationships. You just want me to change Thane back so you can see if you can handle the dragon better than I did. Deep down you don’t respect me any more than he did. You really do think I’m a wimp.”

  Carol sighed as she shook her head. “No, I do respect you. I’d like to say the other thing is not true, but we promised never to lie to each other. So yes, I think I’m more mentally equipped to handle an arrogant dragon boyfriend than you are. When I saw him talking to you all night at the dance though, I decided to step aside like any good friend would. You turning Thane into a fish after a few hours with him has to mean you’re not meant for each other. I’m just pointing that out.”

  “Get off your soap box, Carol. Dragon boy is not worth you pleading his case. He insinuated I wasn’t magically talented enough to be a Baba Yaga. He insulted the Jezibaba and said she wasn’t worthy. He called you intense.”

  “Intense?” Carol smiled. “Thane said I was intense? Wow.”

  Hildy fisted a hand on her hip. “Is that all you heard of what I just said? Carol—listen to me! He was being a dragon asshole. He has issues with powerful witches. Nothing sulfur breath said was a compliment to any of us. ”

  Carol shrugged. “I don’t know that for certain. I don’t get many compliments. Compared to what I usually get called, ‘intense’ sounds pretty good.” She rolled her eyes at her friend’s widening gaze. “Oh, go ahead and laugh. You know it’s true. No male likes a female who can kick his ass except Professor Smoke, but the Jezibaba waited like 300 years for him. I can’t wait that long. We’re almost eighteen. If the assassins do manage to take me out, I don’t want to die a virgin.”

  Carol smiled when Hildy started genuinely laughing. When her laughter finally faded, Hildy shook her head at how silly they were being. Seeing her opening, Carol held up her right hand. It had taken her years to get rid of the “I’m Sorry” tattoo the Jezibaba had branded into her palm when she was ten. Strangely, it would have probably helped in this instance. Hildy would have laughed more.

  Oh, she still hated apologizing and defending her actions. She secretly vowed one day she’d get to stop doing both. But for now…

  Carol cleared her throat. “I swear by the Goddess Morgana, I’m not being a pathetic loser who just wants her chance with the cute boy. I truly don’t want you to get into trouble over this. Earlier tonight we promised to spend the rest of our lives together as two powerful witches protecting the world. The last thing we need is anyone thinking their guardian witches can be tripped up by someone with a penis. There are good reasons the Babas are always female. You’ve heard the Jezibaba say that before.”

  Hildy covered her mouth and giggled. “Carol, ix-nay on the enis-pay comments. Thane’s a fish, but he can still hear and understand our words. That’s how the spell works. I wanted to teach him a lesson in manners, not shred his manhood.”

  Carol looked down in the bowl and grinned. “If he’s hearing everything, that’s better for us. Thane will know for sure then that the only reason you’re changing him back is because I asked you to. He’ll have to live with knowing you love me more than you hate him.”

  Hildy sputtered and choked on laughter. “That’s lame… very lame. But okay. Bring dragon dickhead outside and I’ll reverse the spell.”

  “Ewww… no. You get him out of the toilet. I’m not the one who put him in there,” Carol complained.

  Hildy grinned. “Sure. I’m quite willing to be the one. Leave him in there all night and tomorrow morning I’ll get him out.”

  Carol fisted her hands on both hips. “I really hate you right now.”

  “And I really hate him. If you’re dumb enough to ask for this, you should pay a price too.”

  Carol sighed and stuck her hand in the cold toilet water. She grabbed a slimy Thane and turned him to face her. “Listen up, dude. I’ve never seen Hildy this mad at a male before. I suggest you keep your lip zipped around her once you’re a dragon again. Goddess knows what she’ll turn you into next time.”

  She took his blinking eyes as agreement and put him gently into the bottom of her shirt.

  ***

  Once fishy Thane was back on the ground, Hildy drew in a deep breath and spoke the chant to reverse the spell.

  After his reversion to a human, Thane patted his body down, pausing a long time at his crotch, and then turned his glare on Hildy. “If I were in dragon form right now, I would fry you, witch.”

  Hildy crossed her arms to keep from instantly zapping him back. The spell still lingered and so did her anger. It would take no more than the wave of her hand. “How would you like to spend the next hundred years as a dragon toad?”

  Thane narrowed his eyes and mumbled something under his breath in his native dragon language. It certainly didn’t sound like an apology. When Hildy uncrossed her arm and raised her hands, Carol snickered and grabbed hold of them.

  “No, Hildy. Please… I’m sure Thane has learned his lesson.”

  Carol turned to the pissed off dragon who was no match for a righteous witch done wrong. “Thane—stop with the grumbling. I barely got you out of the shitter as it was. Hildy will you put back in there with no regrets whatsoever.”

  “I’m done with this. You’re both crazy,” Thane declared. Throwing up a hand, he stomped away.

  Carol’s grip on Hildy went lax as her gaze followed the dragon’s exit. She sighed as she stared at his wide shoulders and lean hips. It was a pleasure just to watch the man walk. Hildy yanking free was what snapped her out of her lustful dragon trance.

  “If you hook up with that asswipe of a dragon after tonight, it’s all over between us, Carol. There’s no way you and I could work together if I have to hang around Thane all the time. Dragons are now officially off my shifter dating list. I’m sticking to wolv
es, bears, and… I don’t know… normal creatures. I swear even a self-centered warlock would be better than him.”

  Carol rubbed her nose and made a face. She knew she shouldn’t respond to Hildy’s no-more-dragons rant, but it was just too tempting. “What are you going to do, Hildy? Save your v-entry for when Chuck the Baby Bear grows up?”

  Hildy rolled her eyes. “Carol, remember that transfer student from Nova Scotia? The Elk shifter? He took the honor home with him. It was good, but it wasn’t great. Next time… I’m going to at least like the male. Something big was missing… and no, that wasn’t a bad pun.”

  Carol had to clear her throat to speak. Hildy had rendered her nearly speechless twice in one night. “But that was last summer. Why didn’t you tell me before now?”

  Hildy shook her head. “Because just like I said… you don’t respect me any more than dragon boy does. Just because I don’t go around frying people with dragon fire or putting elves in bondage doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself.”

  “Okay. I guess you have a point. Did it hurt like they say it does?” Carol asked quietly.

  Hildy shrugged. “He was an elk shifter in rut, Carol. Does that answer your question? He was as gentle as he could have been under the circumstances. We stayed friends and he still writes to me. Nolan is becoming a healer for his people. I don’t know why, but I’m fascinated by people who choose to do that for a living. Wanting to know what it was like was the reason I decided to be with him. I mean, I know healing will never be my life’s work, but it’s a nice fantasy.”

  Carol nodded. “I hear you. It makes more sense than imprisoning or killing people as a Baba Yaga. As much as I like a good fight, I’m not looking forward to having to completely kill someone.”

  Hildy nodded. “I think being a healer would feel good to me, but I wouldn’t change being a Baba Yaga with you. That’s partly why I turned the dragon dick stick into a fish. He really did make me mad with his comments about us all.”