The Rancher's Redemption (The Millers of Morgan Valley Book 2)

by Kate Pearce

  Rachel was just about to put on her leash when a truck came through the gate and pulled into the circular yard. She instinctively grabbed hold of Grace’s collar. The dog was still young, and not well trained enough to always come back when she was called.

  Rachel went still as Cauy emerged from the truck muffled up in his thick sheepskin coat, brown cowboy hat, and a scarf. She didn’t want to speak to him, but pride made her stand her ground, and wait for him approach her.

  “Morning, Rachel.” He tipped his hat to her, but she couldn’t see his eyes beneath the lowered brim. “I brought Grace’s stuff over. I thought you might need it.”

  With an excited yelp Grace tried to bound forward. Rachel released her iron grip and let her go. Cauy sank to his knees and grabbed hold of the dog, running his hands through her fur, and murmured sweet nothings in her ears as she tried to lick his face. Grace’s tail was wagging so hard Rachel was surprised she hadn’t taken off.

  She knew how good Cauy’s work roughened hands felt, and for a terrible second yearned to launch her own body at him and be given the same welcome. She’d fallen in love with him and there was nothing she could do about it. Instead she watched in silence as man and dog bonded again. Eventually he looked up at her, his smile crooked.

  “Sorry. It was just so good to see her again.”

  “So I gathered.” Rachel crossed her arms over her chest. “She misses you.”

  “Yeah?” Cauy gave Grace another pet and reluctantly got to his feet, his gaze lingering on the dog. “I’ll put the stuff on the porch.”

  “There’s no need,” Rachel said.

  Cauy went still. “Excuse me?”

  She gestured at Grace, who was jumping up at Cauy demanding more attention. “She wants to be with you. Take her home, okay? Just let me know when she has the puppies.” She half turned back to the barn. “Thanks for coming, Cauy. Bye, Grace.”

  “Rachel, wait,” Cauy called out to her. “I didn’t come here to steal your dog.”

  “She’s not my dog.” Rachel forced herself to face him with a smile. “She’s obviously yours. Look how happy she is just seeing you.”

  “I don’t want to take anything—”

  “Anything else away from me?” Rachel interrupted him. “You can’t own something that was never yours in the first place. You can’t make something or someone love you.” She found another smile. “And I’ll be leaving soon so it’s much better if she stays with you.”

  “You’re definitely going?”

  She raised her chin. “Not until after Christmas. You’ll have to put up with me until then, but I promise I won’t embarrass you or anything.”

  “That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” Cauy said fiercely.

  “Then why don’t you take your damn dog and leave?” She raised her eyebrows. “Unless you’re claiming this part of the ranch is yours as well?”

  He stared at her for a long moment, and then abruptly turned away and headed for his truck. He held the passenger door open and Grace jumped up without a backward glance. In less than a minute he’d disappeared from view, the roar of his truck taking a long time to die away in the stillness.

  Rachel leaned back against the barn wall, her knees shaking. She hated confrontations, but he’d deserved everything she’d thrown at him.

  “Nice.”

  She jumped as a voice behind her spoke, and turned to see HW smiling at her. Because of what he’d revealed about her mother’s choices she hadn’t pursued as strong a relationship with him as she had with his twin and her other brothers. He was far less open than they were and often regarded her like she was a ticking bomb.

  “Which part?” Rachel asked.

  “All of it.” He came to lean against the wall next to her, his blue eyes and blond hair a mirror of her own. “You owned him big-time.”

  “I don’t want to own him,” Rachel muttered.

  “Yeah, you do.”

  “Like you’d know anything.” Rachel faced him. “Cauy Lymond wants half our ranch. He’s the last person in the world I want to have feelings for at the moment.”

  “You still have them though.”

  Rachel frowned at him. “Have you been talking to Jenna or something? I really don’t need another Morgan telling me how I’m feeling right now.”

  “Just trying to help.” HW didn’t take the hint and gracefully disappear, but continued to study her. “You’re like me.”

  “In what way?”

  He shrugged. “We both find it difficult to believe we are lovable. Mom did a number on both of us.”

  “She loved you.”

  “Only on her terms.” HW glanced at her. “That’s exactly how she was with you, too, wasn’t she?”

  “I . . .” Rachel felt like she’d been sucker punched. “That’s not—”

  “Yeah it is,” HW insisted. “We both try and make everyone else happy because we’re afraid we’re not good enough, that we’ll be left behind. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. I’ve watched you do it.”

  “Like you’d know anything.” Heat gathered in her chest, and her hands fisted at her side.

  “Hey, I know it all.” He stepped away from the wall and spread his arms wide. “Go on.”

  “Go on what?”

  “You’re dying to get angry at something so why not me? You obviously don’t like me very much.”

  “Why would you think that?” Rachel squared up to him.

  “Because you don’t talk to me like you talk to the others.”

  “That’s not true!”

  “You don’t talk to me because I was the one who messed up your life.” HW’s blue eyes clashed with hers. “You think I don’t like you.”

  “You don’t,” Rachel snapped.

  “I like you fine.” He paused. “You think I resent you for being the one Mom took with her when the opposite is actually true.”

  “You liar!” Rachel gaped at him. “You wanted her to take you!”

  “When I was five, yeah, I did, but you know what? I’m glad she didn’t because I wouldn’t be the man I am now if she had.”

  “You’d be like me you mean?” Rachel was way past being polite, and well on the road of sharing a few home truths. “The kid who was never good enough—never you?”

  He frowned. “What the hell?”

  Rachel marched up to him and poked him in the chest. “She loved you best. She died wishing you were there with her. She told me to go away!”

  HW grimaced and reached for her. “Jeez, Rach, I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to—”

  “It’s okay.” She stepped out of his reach. She’d never told anyone what her mother’s final words had been before, not even her stepfather. “You just reminded me that I did the right thing walking away from Cauy. I refuse to beg anyone to love me anymore.”

  “Okay, I hear you.” HW studied her carefully. “You done now?”

  She nodded and let out a very shaky breath.

  “Good. One day you will meet someone who makes you feel that way, I promise you. Look at Sam. She loves me despite all my shit. If Cauy Lymond doesn’t have the intelligence to appreciate you, he’s an ass.”

  “I know that.” Rachel nodded. “Thank you.”

  This time she didn’t avoid HW when he drew her into a hug. Of all the people in the world this man, this brother truly understood what she’d gone through with their mother. She’d never forget that. They shared something none of their other siblings would quite understand, and she was finally at peace with that.

  “She did love you, Rachel,” HW murmured into her hair. “If she hadn’t, she would’ve abandoned you somewhere, or brought you back. Hell, I was counting on her bringing you back. I’ve always thought that having you with her finally made her seek help for her depression. She didn’t give up on you. If she’d come back . . .” He sighed. “I think things would’ve gotten worse.”

  “Thanks for nothing,” Rachel mumbled against his chest, and was rewarded by the rumble of hi
s laughter.

  “Right back at you.” He put his hands on her shoulders and eased her back until she had to look up into his eyes. “We’ve both said what we needed to say. Can we be friends now?”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  HW grinned. “That’s my girl.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Now come on, let’s go and get some breakfast before Ry eats everything on the table.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Yeah, Mom, that’s great, but—” Cauy desperately tried to cut in on his mother’s Christmas spiel as she commented on every person living or recently deceased she’d interacted with, and assumed Cauy knew them too. It was early Christmas morning. It was snowing, and Grace was tearing around the house, a big red bow around her neck, desperate to go outside.

  “I wanted to ask you something personal,” Cauy said.

  “About what?” Anita finally ran out of breath.

  Cauy managed to push Grace out into the fenced yard and sat opposite the Christmas tree Jackson had set up in the kitchen. The ancient colored lights flicked on and off, but there was a suspicious smell of burning he’d have to investigate as soon as he got off the phone.

  “It’s about Mark.” Cauy held his breath. “Sort of.”

  His mom sighed. “I knew you’d never let that go now that you’re back at the ranch. What is it now?”

  “Do you remember a guy called Ben Gardin?”

  Silence crackled in the air between them for so long that Cauy thought she’d cut the connection. It had been almost three weeks since he’d had the conversation with Roy, and he had finally decided to ask his mother for the truth. Three weeks since he’d been near Rachel and the Morgan Ranch as well . . .

  “Mom?”

  “Yes. I knew Ben.”

  “So you probably know what I’m going to ask you next,” Cauy said. “I met a guy called Shep. He asked me to send his regards to you.”

  “Ben’s father?” Anita asked. “He was a lovely man. Ben was just like him.”

  Cauy gripped his phone harder. “Is it possible Ben was my father?”

  This time the silence went on even longer, but he could hear his mom breathing so he waited her out.

  “Yes, it’s possible.”

  Cauy briefly closed his eyes. “Okay. Thanks for being up front with me.”

  “Ben died before the end of our senior year.”

  “So I heard,” Cauy said gently. “That must’ve been awful for you.”

  “It was.” She sighed. “I don’t really want to talk about it, okay?”

  “Understood.” Cauy nodded even though she couldn’t see him. He’d tried to introduce her to video calls but she hated technology. “Are you okay for me to make contact with the Gardin family?”

  “If you’re going to stay at the ranch, I can hardly stop you. It’s a small place. Word would get round eventually.”

  “I intend to stay here.” Cauy hesitated, reluctant to push his luck. “Considering what we just discussed should Jackson inherit this place?”

  “He told me he doesn’t want it,” Anita said. “And you know Jackson. Once he makes his mind up he’s pretty stubborn.”

  “What about Amy?”

  “You can ask her when she comes out to see you in the summer. She’ll have finished her nursing degree by then and will probably have an opinion of her own.”

  Knowing his feisty little sister, Cauy had no doubt of that.

  “I’m thinking that after I’m gone I’ll set up a trust so that Jackson, Amy, and their kids each get a share of the ranch. What do you think?”

  “What about your own family? Jackson said you’d met someone wonderful.”

  “I’m not planning on getting married again anytime soon, Mom, so don’t get your hopes up,” Cauy said. “Things didn’t work out between us. She deserved better than me.”

  “That’s a shame, darling,” Anita said. “But are you sure about that? Jackson said she was the perfect woman for you.”

  “She is.” Cauy pictured Rachel’s face when he made love with her. “But—”

  “But nothing, Cauy,” Anita interrupted him. “The moment Ben knew I was pregnant, he wanted to marry me. I said no because I was afraid of what people would think. I regretted that decision for the rest of my life. If I’d agreed maybe I could’ve somehow prevented what happened to him.”

  “Mom . . .” Cauy fidgeted with his phone.

  “If she really is the right woman for you, please don’t let her slip through your fingers, love.”

  “What if she’s young and has her whole life ahead of her whereas I’m a washed-up fool?” Cauy asked.

  “Do you love her?”

  “Yeah. I do.”

  “Does she love you?”

  “I think so,” Cauy said.

  “Then don’t squander that love, please, Cauy. Don’t do what I did, and let your fear hold you back.”

  In the background her doorbell chimed, setting off the dogs. “I have to go, darling. Give my love to Jackson, and tell him to call me later.”

  Cauy kept talking. “What if this woman is a Morgan?”

  Anita’s chuckle was both a delight and a surprise. “Then more power to you. That would certainly stick it to Mark Lymond.”

  She ended the call, leaving Cauy sitting there staring blankly at the Christmas tree.

  “What’s up, Bro? Merry Christmas.” Jackson grinned at him from the doorway. He wore an Air Force blue T-shirt and PJ pants with rockets on them. “Were you talking to Mom? How’s she doing?”

  “She said for you to call her later.” Cauy put down his cell phone and went to disconnect the Christmas tree lights. “She also said it’s highly likely Ben Gardin was my father.”

  “Cool!” Jackson got a beer out of the refrigerator and toasted Cauy with it. “That’s awesome news! What time are we supposed to be at the Morgans?”

  “Are you still going on about that?” Cauy asked.

  “I saw Ry in the Red Dragon yesterday, and he assumed we were coming.” Jackson frowned. “What’s the problem?”

  Cauy considered, his gaze drawn to Grace, who had come in from the yard and was happily shaking wet snow everywhere. Could he turn up at the Morgans? Should he?

  “I’ll call Mrs. Morgan and check in, okay?” Jackson took a package off the tree and crouched beside Grace. The package squeaked loudly, and Grace bounced around like a crazy thing. “Here you go, girl, plastic squeaky steak! Enjoy!”

  Cauy left them to it and went into the farm office. He closed the door against the assault of squeaky noises and sent a text to Kim.

  Are you around?

  Dude! It’s Christmas! Kim replied immediately. Of course I’m working!

  Cauy smiled. Have you got a moment to draft a letter for me?

  Sure, what do you need?

  Cauy sat on the edge of the desk and typed in what he wanted. Can you fax me a copy to this number when you’re done?

  Will have it to you in an hour.

  Thanks, Kim. Cauy sent the fax number.

  Wait until you see my bill ... LOL

  Cauy’s smile died as he ended the call. Whatever happened next, at least he could tell his mom that he’d tried . . .

  * * *

  “What do you mean Cauy and Jackson Lymond are coming to eat Christmas dinner with us?” Rachel stared openmouthed at her grandmother.

  They were setting the tables in the guest dining room. It was a tradition that all the hands and Morgan Ranch staff were invited to Christmas dinner. It was snowing outside, but the large room was warm as toast with a log fire burning in the massive rock chimney.

  “I invited them.” Ruth raised an eyebrow. “It’s called being neighborly.”

  “To the man who wants to extort cash out of your grandson on a frivolous lawsuit?”

  Ruth handed Rachel a bunch of silverware. “I doubt Cauy will go through with it.”

  “Why doesn’t anyone believe he meant it?” Rachel complained. “It’s like you all think h
e’s a nice guy or something.”

  “He is a nice man. Maybe too nice, and too quick to take a hint.” Rachel straightened the table center arrangement, which Avery had designed to resemble a cowboy boot filled with Christmas presents. “I think he’ll do very well with the ranch.”

  “Who else did you ask?” Rachel attempted to change the subject.

  “Dr. Tio Mendez and his grandmother, Nancy and Maureen from the shop, and Shep and Mary Gardin.”

  Rachel put the last fork in place. “Who are the Gardins?”

  “Didn’t Roy tell you?” Ruth handed her a stack of linen napkins. “Shep’s son Ben might well have been your Cauy’s father.”

  “Firstly, he’s not my Cauy,” Rachel said. “And secondly, how come no one let me in on this stupendous piece of gossip?”

  “Possibly because every time one of us mentions Cauy you get all defensive and growly.”

  “Gee, I wonder why,” Rachel said. “It’s not like he broke my heart or anything.”

  “Did he really?” Ruth paused to look searchingly at her.

  “Yes, I think he did.” Rachel found a smile. “But that’s okay. You can’t make someone love you, right?”

  Ruth put down her basket of napkins. “Cauy’s a good man, Rachel, but he’s not an easy man. He’s already dealt with a lot in his life, and I suspect those scars will always be with him.”

  “You think I don’t know that?” Rachel asked.

  “I think you believe it’s your job in life to make everyone feel better,” Ruth said. “And maybe you should be thinking about putting yourself first for a change.”

  “That’s exactly what HW told me.” Rachel held Ruth’s gaze. “But you don’t understand Cauy at all if you think he needs holding up. He’s one of the strongest men I’ve ever met. He’s managed to close himself off so completely that he truly believes that’s who he is, and how it will always be.”

  “And you can’t stop him from believing that.”

  “I’m not trying to.” Rachel took a deep breath. “It’s up to him, isn’t it? If he truly wants a relationship with me he’s got to reach out. I can’t climb those walls or break them down all by myself.” She patted Ruth’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I get that. I’m sad that he’s not prepared to go that extra mile for me, but I’m not going to hang around waiting for him to change. I deserve more.”