Tree: A Young Adult Fringe Reality Romance

by T. Nixon

  I hated cleaning buckets. My pants always got wet and my hands cold. It had been several years since I cleaned a bucket- or a stall- but out of all the chores around the barn scrubbing buckets was the one I hated the most. AJ had remembered.

  He finished with the bucket he was working on, set it aside, and as he reached for another, he looked up at me. Our eyes met for a second before I quickly looked away and pushed the cart into the stall. I pulled out the shovel and broom and rested them against the front wall. Stripping stalls was hard, messy work. All the wood chip bedding had to be removed, the stall swept in order to get up the allergy causing dust, aired out and re-bedded. Using the shovel, I started dragging the bedding out from the corners to the middle of the stall, causing a cloud of wood dust to fill the air around me. I ignored it, grabbed the cart, and maneuvered it into a corner then worked on the others.

  When I had a large mound of wet, dirty wood shavings in the middle of the stall I started scooping them into the cart. I saw AJ walk past my stall into the utility room and heard him toss a shovel in a cart. Seconds later he walked by again, pushing his cart into the stall next to mine. I kept at my work, scooping the pile then scraping the loose shavings into another pile and scooping that. When I got most of it in the cart, I grabbed the broom and followed the same process as before, starting in the corners and working towards the middle.

  After a while of working in silence AJ finally spoke. “Crazy day yesterday, huh?” he asked. I couldn't see him in the stall next to me, but I could tell he was trying to make things less awkward. I felt a little guilty for giving him a hard time, I needed to just get over it.

  I stopped working for a minute and rested on the broom handle. Already I was sweating, and little particles of dust were sticking to my skin. I took a deep, dusty breath and let it out sharply. “Yeah, it was.” More than he knew. I hesitated for a moment, considering if I should confide in him or not.

  “Could Brad have been any weirder when you told us about the tree?” I could hear his shovel scraping the rubber matting of the stall floor as he asked. The noise gave me time to recover, it was as if he had read my mind.

  “Uh... I know, right?” I said, once again feeling stupid.

  “That didn't sit right with me,” he said as he exited his stall and then stood in front of mine. “I've never seen him act like that, getting all... firm. It was weird.” He looked at me through the iron bars lining the front of the stall with big eyes.

  “I know, I didn't get that. I mean, I know he was worried but that seemed a little beyond,” I ran my arm across my forehead to remove the sticky dust.

  “I don't know. I don't like it.” AJ shook his head and looked out the barn door that faced the back of the Barrel Barn. I watched him think while I debated on whether or not to tell him about the picture. He turned back towards me, his dark eyes direct and said, “I felt like he was hiding something.” It was just what I needed to hear.

  “It gets weirder,” I said. I set the shovel against the wall and exited the stall. “There's a picture of Cherry with James in my room and they're standing in front of the tree. The other day when I was looking at it, I saw a tiny face like, peeking out from behind the tree. So last night Cherry and I used a magnifying glass and I swear to you, it looks like Brad!”

  “Seriously?” AJ's eyes were curious, his brow knitted together as he listened.

  “Yes. It's an old picture too, and Cherry didn't seem happy that Brad was there, I think he was spying on them.”

  “That's creepy. I want to see that picture.”

  “Yeah sure, but not when Aunt Cherry's around... I think it really bothered her.”

  “Well, you know, she likes to pretend,” he said, waving one hand in the air casually.

  “What you mean?” I asked with equal parts curiosity and defense.

  “You mean you don't know?” AJ smiled at me; his eyebrows raised in amusement.

  “Uh, I don't think so,” I said, a tinge of annoyance in my voice.

  “Brad has been in love with Cherry for years. I can't believe you didn't know that!” He chucked and I crossed my arms.

  “I haven't exactly been around much the last few years,” I said in my defense.

  “Nice excuse, but it's been obvious since we were kids.”

  “No it hasn't,” I demanded.

  He smiled at me and shook his head. “I guess you like to pretend too.”

  I turned away from him and walked back into the stall, grabbed the shovel, and started scooping.

  “Don't get mad, it's not a big deal,” he said trying to console me. He stepped forward, put his hands around two of the stall bars and brought his face up to them. “They play a good game. It's obvious to me but it might not be to other people. I see them both every day.”

  I softened up a little. “So he's loved her all these years? Do you think he loved her back then, when she and James set up the farm?”

  “Probably. Cherry has a way with men,” he chuckled again, and I smiled too. Cherry had a way with everyone, but as far as I could recall, she always used her powers of persuasion for good. “Seriously though, it's creepy that he would have followed them.”

  “Yeah, I felt bad telling her about it cause now that picture isn't as special to her anymore. She said the meadow and the tree were a special place for her and James.”

  “Maybe that's why Brad wants us to stay away from it.”

  “That's what I said! But Cherry said she didn't think Brad knew. But then, he was in the picture so maybe he knows more than she thinks he does.” I didn't let myself get stuck on the fact that he had said “us”. It was such a relief to talk to him about it, to not have the thoughts locked in my own mind. There was no way I was going to spoil it by over analyzing one word.

  He took a step back away from the stall and looked out the barn door again. I followed his gaze, unable to follow his train of thought, and saw the fog was as thick as ever. He turned his serious eyes back to me and with his voice full of intensity he said, “we should go there.”

  “Go where?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. Asking was a reflexive thing to do, something I wished I didn't do around him, but which came so easy.

  “To the tree. We can walk there, we'll say we're going for a hike, to the creek or something.”

  “Ok, yeah, but that doesn't change the fact there was an animal there or something. Whatever it was really spooked Greta.”

  “So, I'll bring my knife. You didn't see anything did you?”

  “No, but-”

  “We'll be fine. I grew up here, I know how to take care of myself.”

  “It's not you I'm worried about!” He laughed and despite myself I smiled too. It was impossible not to notice how his eyes twinkled or how pink and soft his lips looked against his white teeth. He had a charming smile that went easily from his mouth to his eyes. I looked away.

  He stepped forward towards the stall again and looked at me directly. “It'll be fine,” he said. A tinge of softness mixed with confidence laced his voice and I was nodding before I realized I was doing it. He smiled, excited for the possibility of adventure. “Cool. We'll go whenever the fog lets up.” He turned away and was gone from my view in one step. Within seconds I heard his broom scrape across the rubber floor. Snapped back to normal so fast I almost wondered if the entire conversation had actually taken place. I blinked a few times and then went back to work.

  FIVE

  Even with two of us it took several hours to get through half of Cherry's list of chores. We had started early, so by lunch time we were more than ready for a break. The fog hadn't lifted much, but nearer the house we could see it shifting and moving, patches of blue teasing us before disappearing into gray. “It'll be gone by the time we finish eating,” AJ said examining the sky.

  We stopped by the office to check in with Cherry and then made our way to the house to have lunch. Once we were inside AJ asked to see the infamous tree picture. The picture and magnifying glass were sitti
ng on Cherry's desk, not at the kitchen table where I had remembered seeing it last. Cherry had obviously been studying it after I went to bed and again a feeling of guilt came over me.

  While AJ had his turn examining it I threw together some sandwiches for us. He walked into the kitchen with a puzzled look on his face. He made a triangle from the pantry to the fridge and set his gatherings of crackers, cheese, and juice on the table.

  We ate quickly and in silence, both of us eager to get to the tree and do some exploring. When we finished, AJ put our dishes in the sink while I filled water bottles for each of us. There was no one around as we left the house. The coast remained clear and as we made our way back towards the barn. I was glad; I didn't want to lie to Cherry or Brad. We let ourselves into the pasture and walked towards the gate Greta and I had gone through the day before. We paused for a moment to pet the horses who took a break from their grazing for some attention.

  AJ took the lead and for several minutes we walked without speaking, both of us absorbing the nature around us. He had been right about the fog. Most of it had cleared allowing sunlight to peek through the tall trees that sheltered us. It was crazy to think that the day before I had been on the same trail running from AJ and now I was there with him. Things could change so fast in the mountains, be it weather or emotions, it was not the place for someone who could not adapt quickly.

  I watched the natural carriage of his back as he walked, his shoulders moving in rhythm with his arms as they swung easily with each step. “Can you remember the way,” he asked me over his shoulder. I blushed even though I knew he couldn't see me, I wondered if he sensed I was watching him.

  “Sort of, but I didn't pay much attention, I let Greta go where she wanted,” I admitted.

  “I have an idea of where it is, I don't think we'll get too lost.” I couldn't make out any detail in his tone, but he sounded lighthearted.

  The day was quickly warming up but it was still chilly in the woods. I zipped my hoodie and tucked my water bottle into the pocket, stretching it beyond its limits. Birds twittered and flew around above us and the bushes were still. Any apprehension I had felt about going back to the meadow was melting away. AJ was easy company and I felt safe with him.

  “So, how long have you been working at the farm,” I asked in an effort to make conversation. I didn't want to walk with him in silence, it provided too many opportunities to think.

  “As long as I can remember,” he turned to throw a smile at me which I replied with a sarcastic smirk. “I've always done odd jobs, but I think I started to do a lot more a couple years ago. I didn't just hang around the farm the summers you were here, I kinda always did, all year long. So Cherry had Brad teach me some things and then I learned more from Enrique. I really love harvesting time, hopefully you'll be here for it this year...” His words trailed off and I knew he remembered, a second too late, what it was that brought me to the farm this time.

  I didn't say anything, what could I say? I wanted to be with my parents again more than anything else, a desire that hung around in my mind at all times no matter how much I tried not think of it. I already knew that at any moment, like right then, it might jump or be forced into my consciousness and bring with it an inevitable flow of emotions. I felt tears in my eyes, but I did what I could to force them away.

  He didn't turn around, didn't say anything, just kept walking at an even pace. I looked up and around, doing anything I could to keep tears from breaking their bounds and streaming down my face.

  I needed a way to get the conversation moving forward, and away from painful topics. “So, uh, how did you get here before you had the truck?”

  He laughed a little, a tight, anxious laugh. “I found ways. When my brother was still around, he would give me rides, other times I rode my bike. You do what you gotta do. I love this farm,” his voice was thick when he said the last words and I sensed there was more to it that I was willing to ask. “I would be a nothing if it wasn't for Cherry,” he added, and then it all made sense.

  “What does your... mom think about you being here all the time?” I had trouble saying the word as stupid as it was. AJ let out a bitter laugh and I could see his whole body tighten.

  “Who cares? She doesn't. But when she decides to stop drinking long enough to have anything to say she usually criticizes everyone and everything.”

  “I'm sorry,” I said, and I really was. I hadn't known that my question would cause that kind of reaction.

  “Don't be,” he said, his voice still tight, laced with anger. “She's her own worst enemy, she pushed my dad away, she pushed my brother away and now she has no one left to hurt but me.”

  I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing seemed appropriate. AJ projected easy confidence which made me unprepared for any trouble in his life. I felt a little closer to AJ and guilty that I had judged him so quickly. His situation was very different from mine, but none the less it had its similarities. His father was gone. His brother was gone, and apparently drinking a lot had made his mother different from who she used to be. Almost like having no mother anymore.

  Again, we walked in silence and I noticed the general noises of nature around us had subsided as well. We were deeper into the forest now, the place where the light shown in rays that managed to escape between high up branches. The ground was softer, and our footsteps were almost inaudible.

  He stopped and leaned against a large fallen tree. He opened his water and took a long sip, letting out a big, loud breath after. He looked at me as he recapped his bottle, his eyes quizzical.

  “Don't worry about it, Vic. You have much bigger problems that I do. But, I will say, we are both lucky to have Cherry.”

  I nodded in agreement and after looking at me a few seconds more he started walking again. I wanted to ask him all kinds of questions, but I knew how I felt when people asked me. It was violating and none of anyone’s business, though people seemed to think it was.

  “Does any of this look familiar?” he asked. His tone was even and his whatever he had been thinking.

  “Um,” I said as I looked around, “yeah, it all looks like woods.”

  He chuckled a little and I did too, which caused me to relax a little. “I think this is the right way.”

  Another dreaded lull in the conversation. I hated it. I hated that I had so much to ask, so much to say, and yet, I couldn't. And that this was AJ, my good friend for each summer, someone I had never had trouble talking to or sharing with, and now, the words froze on my tongue, our lives so similar and yet so different.

  I became more frustrated with myself with each step I took. I studied the ground, completely ignoring the endless green beauty that surrounded me, lost in my feelings of insecurity. Then, in a patch of dirt on the side of the trail, I saw a hoof print. “This is the right way,” I called.

  He nodded and again we walked without speaking. He must have sensed I was going through an inner debate. AJ had always been more in tune with the emotions of those around him than any other boy I knew. He paused a step so I could catch up to him and he smiled at me as we fell in step side by side.

  “Things aren't easy,” he said simply, eyes forward, but next to me none the less. I felt the butterflies stir around my stomach and I knew I had to be careful that my face didn't give my thoughts away. It was getting easier to be near him, but still he wreaked havoc on my insides.

  “No,” I replied, “they aren't.” Before I had a chance to change my mind, I decided enough was enough. He had made an effort the day before by asking me start over, I would make an effort to let him in- even though I wasn't sure if I could. “When did it get so damn hard?”

  “I know,” he said, looking down. “My mom was never a peach but now... she's unbearable. When Aaron bailed everything came down on me. Sometimes I wish she would have left and not my dad,” he glanced at me nervously.

  “Where did Aaron go?”

  “He got a place with some buddies in San Jose. That night sucked,” his tone al
luded to a painful memory and his silence after confirmed it. He sighed. “I don't know what I would do without Cherry,” his voice wavered, full of honest, raw emotion and for a second my heart stopped. I could feel myself getting tense, I tried to fight it, but the door to my emotions was closing.

  I knew he cared for Cherry, probably loved her like a mother, and I knew she cared for AJ, but I couldn't handle it. It was getting to be too much, the events over the past couple days, AJ's pain over his parents, my own pain. I ran my hands over my face and looked up to see him a couple steps ahead, watching me. I hadn't realized I had stopped walking. I felt a lump forming in my throat and saw the slight worry in his eyes.

  “Vic?” he asked and moved towards me.

  I put my hand up to stop him. “I'm ok,” I said, my voice revealing that I wasn't.

  “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-”

  “You didn't,” I cut him off. “I just have a hard time dealing with anything emotional.” I looked away when I said it. If he had known the enormity of that confession, he didn't show it.

  “Yeah, I get it,” he said, obviously annoyed with himself. “It was stupid of me to talk about-”

  “No,” I cut him off again, this time looking at him. He needed to know it wasn't his fault, that I was abnormal, cut off from being able to feel too much. “It's not... it's hard to explain. Let's just keep walking.” I started forward again, this time with AJ behind me.

  “You know you can talk to me, Vic. You don't have to, but you can.” His voice was sincere, and I wished that I could, but I couldn’t even think about things let alone share them with someone.

  “Thanks,” I called back to him. “It's hard for me to talk about with anyone.”

  “Vic,” he said, his voice firm. I stopped and turned to look at him. He was looking at me squarely his eyes direct. “It's still me, AJ, from when we were kids.” In his eyes, in that moment, for the first time since I had arrived back at the farm, he was that AJ. But looking beyond his eyes, to his chiseled face, his tall, muscular frame, the hint of stubble on his cheek… No, this was decidedly not the same AJ. And I didn't know enough about this AJ to know how to react, and the effect this AJ had on me was far greater than the one young AJ had.