Tree: A Young Adult Fringe Reality Romance

by T. Nixon

  I sat up quickly and tried to put some space between us. My head was flooding. How could he do this? How could he bring it up right at that moment?

  “Victoria?” he asked. He could tell I was upset. He sat up and put his hand on my arm.

  I jumped to my feet. “Goodbye,” I spat without looking at him and turned to go.

  “Wait!” he said desperately. He was on his feet, and in a flash, he was standing in front of me, blocking my path and making it impossible for me to ignore him. “What's the matter?” He tried to meet my eyes, but I refused.

  “Nothing,” I said. I just wanted to get away. How much rejection would I be expected to endure in this damned meadow?

  “Well, I'd be an idiot to believe that. Tell me.”

  “I can't believe you would bring that up,” I said trying to hold back tears that were threatening to come.

  “I'm so sorry,” he said and moved forward to put his arms around me. I pulled away.

  “No,” I said, “don't.” I tried to go around him, but he jumped back into my path.

  “Victoria, I didn't mean to upset you. But we both know I'm not here to stay.” I threw him an angry look and saw the sincerity in his eyes. It made it worse.

  “Yes, we do,” I agreed viciously. “And only one of us knows how long you plan on staying. When are you leaving Simon? After you get my clothes off? Has that been your plan all along?” I pushed past him, my heart threatening to beat right through my rib cage.

  “What? No!” he insisted. “Wait!”

  “Just leave me alone!” I yelled and started running down the trail.

  I felt the tears falling and it only made angrier. How would I explain my red and swollen face? Cherry would know I had been crying. She would probably think it was because of my parents and that made me feel even worse. A raging river of emotions washed over me that almost knocked me off my feet. All the warmth and safety I had felt in his arms was gone. And the feelings that had been hiding were surfacing, grabbing a hold of me and trying to take me down.

  I just want to go home. That was the thought that did it. I choked up, the anger and sadness lodged in my throat and made it impossible for me not to cry out loud. I wanted to scream. I was so mad at myself. Mad for trusting him, mad for liking him, mad for allowing myself to like him. What was I thinking anyway? How could I even like someone with everything going on in my life? The frustration was consuming.

  I took my anger out on the forest floor, pounding my way back towards the farm, trying to calm myself. By the time I reached the gate I had managed to stop crying but I could feel the evidence on my face, just as I was worried about. I took a deep breath and looked around hoping something would pop out at me and give me a reason I could tell Cherry if she asked. I hated lying and I felt like I was forced to if I wanted any privacy. Another way my life had changed- my mom was never intrusive as long as I promised to be safe.

  Then again, I never did any sneaking around before. I never had a reason.

  The fates took pity on me; the coast was clear. I made it across the gravel and into the house without encountering anything more than a few dogs. Cherry was home but, in the bathroom, when I entered. I made a beeline upstairs and into my bathroom so I could wash my face. I knew one cure for my swollen red face- a nice hot shower. I reacted to heat so a hot shower would make all my skin red and it would even out. I flew into the shower before Cherry could come up and talk to me.

  The shower helped me clear my thoughts, something about the warm water cascading over me helped put my thoughts in order. What was I so mad about? Simon had rejected me, like AJ had. But had he? What exactly had he said that bothered me so much? He had told me he was leaving. It was true right? In a way it was almost like he was protecting me, even though it sucked. Maybe I was worried my feelings were stronger than his. He was gentle and caring, he didn't seem like a player.

  I closed my eyes and let the water run over my face. The face he had kissed and stroked not that long ago. I replayed it in my mind, his gentle kiss, the tilt of his head, his eyes lightly closed. It had been a perfect period of time in a highly imperfect period of life. A rare and much needed break from my reality. It felt like he knew me. I didn't have to slow him down or enforce the boundaries- he just knew. Just as I knew, deep down, he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. On purpose.

  By the time I turned the water off I wasn't mad anymore. I had overreacted. I felt foolish, embarrassed. Of course, he wasn't going to be able to stay forever. What, and live with Old Man Harris permanently? That old coot wasn't able to think about anything other than how he could damage my family. No, Simon would have to go back. Like it or not. Another thing I would lose.

  I ate dinner on my own, Cherry thankfully attending a local meeting of wine producers with Brad. I could tell she didn't want to leave me, but I hurried her out the door grateful for some real privacy for the first time since I had arrived at the farm. I threw a frozen flat bread pizza in the oven and plopped into a chair at the table. Kitten came over and sat next to me. I reached down and petted her. I felt safer having her around, knowing she could- and would- protect me from any intruder. If only she could save me from my thoughts. I was freeing to be in silence and not have to hide my depression.

  I wanted to talk to him, to apologize for how I reacted. I wanted to explain even though I wasn't sure I could. What would I say? Sorry I got mad cause some other guy rejected me, and I thought you were doing the same thing? Somehow, I wasn't sure it would matter anyway. Most guys I had known seemed pretty fragile and ready to run at the slightest hint of difficulty.

  Then again, Simon had seen his own share of difficulty, and he knew about my life and still had wanted to spend time with me. I glanced at the phone attached to the wall and wished I could call him. I had no way of getting in touch with him until tomorrow. That is, if he was still interested in meeting me.

  ◆◆◆

  I slept restlessly. I woke up and fought off nightmarish visions. Every minute of the following day felt like hours, each second dragging endlessly on. Everything that could go wrong seemed to- I dropped the basket of eggs and broke most of them, spilled a full water bucket in Greta's freshly cleaned stall. It was difficult to focus on any task, all I could think about was seeing Simon and hoping he would understand. That he would forgive me for getting so upset.

  Finally, my chores were finished, and I could go to the meadow. I would be early but at least I would be there. It was better to wait there than wait at the farm. As much as I hated it, I would have to go back to the house and change, the water had soaked my pants and shoes and I could already feel my toes pickling. I dreaded the thought of getting stopped but I had to go.

  I made sure the coast was clear before I left the shelter of the Barrel Barn and headed into the open of the gravel yard. Nothing. I made it into the house and changed with no issue. I peeked out the curtain before opening the door. AJ's truck was in its usual place but he was nowhere to be seen, all was still quiet in the yard. I opened the door and hurried across the yard, I tried to look casual in case anyone was watching from the office.

  I was relieved to get back to the barn without seeing anyone. I let myself in and slid the door closed behind me.

  “There you are,” Brad's voice said from behind me. I froze. I swallowed hard and tried to keep my composure.

  “Hey,” I said turning around. “I was just at the house.”

  “This place can swallow people up sometimes. You could be looking for someone for hours but if their moving around the farm they can stay disappeared all day,” he smiled but it did not go to his eyes. Nothing about him seemed normal now.

  “Yeah,” I agreed. What did he want? “What's up?” I asked hoping I didn't sound as nervous as I felt.

  “I was hoping you would help with a project. I need an extra hand and AJ and Cherry are both busy.”

  “What about Ediberto?” I asked a little too quickly.

  “He's out in the fields, can't pull him away from
that.”

  I had no choice. “Sure,” I said and hoped his project would be a quick one.

  It wasn't.

  He led me into the Barrel Barn, towards the back where a large warehouse sized room contained what seemed like an endless supply of oak barrels. Most were sealed tight and stored on their sides on giant racks that went all the way up to the top of the 20' ceiling. He led me through that room into a smaller one that had rows of barrels lined up on either side.

  He handed me some rubber boots and wrote several projects on a white board on one wall. We set about on a long series of grueling chores- chores that were better suited for a strong young man over a not-so-strong girl like me. We moved large barrels from one area of the barn to another to prepare them for filling. The barrels were heavy and awkward and even with Brad's help it was hard work. The gloves I wore to protect my hands were thick and hot and within my first couple of barrels my pants were wet. Each barrel took a while and suddenly 20 barrels looked like an endless project.

  Brad didn't leave my sight, or rather, I didn't leave his, so I was unable to look outside to see the arc of the sun to determine the time. I couldn't peek to see if Simon may have snuck up to the farm to see me. But why would he? Most likely he would think I was mad and standing him up. He may not even be there for me to explain tomorrow. I felt a ball of anxiety form in my stomach. Why had I overreacted? I had ruined a beautiful moment. And now he may never want to see me again. His ambiguity about when he would leave could mean he would go when he wanted to. And now he had a reason. At least, he had a reason not to go back to the tree and meet the messed up temperamental girl.

  Finally, we placed the stopper, or bung as they called them, into the last barrel, flipped it, rolled and stood it on its head. I wiped the sweat from forehead, pulled off my gloves and tossed them onto the metal work bench near the door.

  “It goes faster with help,” Brad said smiling. Thankfully he hadn't talked to me much during the process and what he had said was mostly related to the work. He hadn't asked me any questions, but he had stayed close, it was clear he was intentionally keeping me busy.

  As we exited the Barrel Barn I saw the sun was low. My stomach growled and I was so frustrated, with Brad, with Simon, with the whole day, that I headed for the house and didn't say anything to him. When I walked in the kitchen Cherry was as the sink, she smiled but her smiled faded quickly when she saw the sour look on my face.

  “What happened to you?” she asked. I turned to see if Brad had followed me to the house, he hadn't.

  “Brad happened,” I said dully.

  “Brad?” she asked confused. She dried her hands on a towel as she surveyed me. I had thought she knew about the project but apparently, she didn't.

  “Yeah, he asked me to help him cure barrels when my other chores were done.” I didn't intend to sound like a tattle tale, but I know I did. I was mad.

  “Interesting,” she replied. She didn't give anything else away.

  I felt a little satisfaction knowing she knew what he had done. He had every right to ask me to help but it was the way he asked that bothered me. It felt like he knew he was keeping me from something or trying to call me out.

  “Get yourself cleaned up for dinner. It will be ready soon,” she threw me one of her customary comforting smiles.

  I took her advice and headed upstairs to clean up. When I reentered the kitchen a short while later, I was dismayed to see Brad there. He was fresh and clean after our labor-intensive afternoon; figures he would wash up before having dinner with Cherry. She never demanded respect, but people gave it to her. People instinctively mined their manners around her, treated her like a lady.

  I took a deep breath and tried to control my irritation. I ground my teeth and headed for my chair. Cherry set a bowl of salad on the table and then took her own seat. “Dig in,” she said. Brad picked up the salad bowl scooped some onto his plate, then offered the bowl to me, smiling. I avoided his eyes and took the bowl. Salad was a great food when you wanted to get out of a conversation, so I gave myself a healthy portion and passed the bowl to Cherry. We continued in the same manner with each dish until our plates were full.

  I doused my salad with the ranch dressing Cherry bought just for me. I learned years ago I didn't have a taste for the oil and vinegar dressing she made. As soon as I could, without being inappropriate, I shoveled large forkfuls of salad into my mouth.

  “Sounds like you two had a busy afternoon,” Cherry said as she lifted her own fork.

  “Yeah,” Brad said as he tore into a roll. He reached for his knife and cut off a pat of fresh butter. “I had AJ to help me cure barrels yesterday but he was helping Ediberto weed the vines today, so I had to recruit Vic.” He gave me a toothy grin and then took a bite of his bread.

  I returned with a fake smile and kept chewing.

  Cherry looked at me and then at him. “Curing barrels is really hard work for someone who isn’t used to it,” she said. She wasn't accusatory, merely stating a fact. I wasn't sure who her comment was directed to.

  “She handled it well,” Brad replied. Was he complimenting me? I wished I could disappear.

  Cherry said no more about it. Instead, they talked about the usual stuff, goings on around the farm, upcoming projects and meetings, thankfully leaving me out of it. Until...

  “Vic, you seem distracted this evening. I hope I didn't work you too hard,” Brad said.

  “What?” I asked, he caught me off guard.

  “You're just being so quiet this evening,” he replied. This rubbed me the wrong way. At all our group meals I kept to myself and pretty much only said anything when I had to. It was nothing out of the ordinary. I felt like he was fishing.

  “I missed my walk,” I spurted out. “I guess I was just in the habit,” I looked at Cherry, “change of routine and all.” I knew that would get her.

  “Hmmm,” he said and nodded his head.

  “Oh, Brad leave the poor girl alone,” Cherry said as stood up and started clearing the table. “First you work her hard and then you interrogate her.” Her tone was joking but we both knew she meant it. Cherry didn't waste words.

  I glanced quickly at Brad and saw that he had a tight look in his eye. He didn't like what Cherry said. It was weird seeing tension between them. They had known each other and worked together so long things had always seemed easy between them on all my visits before. But this time, something had clearly shifted. AJ had obviously seen it to.

  I got up to help Cherry with the clean-up, but she dismissed me and told me to go have some time to myself. It was too late to go for a walk and besides, Simon wouldn't be at the tree anyway. He may not be back at all. I went upstairs and closed myself in my room. I looked through the gauzy curtains and surveyed the dark yard below me. I don't know what I was looking for or hoping to see but all was as it should be. I sighed, turned away from the window and tried not to be swallowed up by the heavy feeling in my chest.

  Something good had come along, even if it was temporary, why was I hell bent on messing it up? Maybe that was the part that bothered me, that everything in my life right now was potentially temporary. Even if Simon was here forever, if I was given the choice to be back with my parents I would take it in an instant. At the thought my heart was gripped in tightness. I could feel the threat of tears.

  I wanted to go sleep. I wanted to escape all the thoughts and feelings. I dropped on my bed, frustrated, and fighting tears. I felt trapped and alone.

  TEN

  The next morning dawned with a hidden sun. The fog had invaded and obscured the weather beyond. I awoke dull and groggy after a night of agonizing dreams. I was in the same clothes as the night before, on top of the covers, having fell asleep where I laid. If only it had been a merciful sleep. I sat up and wiped my eyes. I wanted to get on with this day so I could get to the afternoon. Simon may not be there, but I would be, and if he did show up I wanted to explain. And I would tell him everything, the only person in my life I didn't want to
hold back with.

  I felt like a zombie, my emotions still deadened from sleep. I went through my morning routine and headed downstairs. I sat at the table and had cereal, thankful that Cherry was already gone. I zipped up my hoodie and headed out to the back deck where I slipped on my rubber work boots.

  It was habit now to look for AJ's truck. It was there, reliable like always. I scanned the rest of yard looking for signs of life, but everyone was already involved in the projects of their day. The fog enveloped everything beyond the Barrel Barn and the stillness was like a ghost town- evidence of previous life. In the distance a wild turkey called, perhaps a big male alerting his harem. I shivered a bit from the damp air, zipped my hoodie up as far as it would go then shoved my hands deep into my pockets. I clomped down the stairs off the porch and then listened to the rubbery crunch of the gravel as I made my way across the yard and then around the side of the Barrel Barn. Lost in thought as I rounded the corner towards the animal barn and chicken coop, I made up my mind that if Brad asked me to help him again, I would say no. Period.

  I wished I had checked the time before leaving the house. I had forgotten my cell phone. Leaving Sacramento and arriving in the Santa Cruz mountains was like leaving one world and entering another, and with it meant leaving behind a lot of things. Most cell phone carriers didn't get service out in the forest and the ones that did were spotty at best until you got to town. I thought about my friends back home, Olivia and Katelyn, and realized I had been out of touch for too long. How long had I been here now? It seemed like forever, but on my walk between the barns I actually had to think about it. It seemed like so much had happened.

  Three weeks.

  Three of the longest weeks of my life.

  I entered the barn; the horses nickered and poked their heads over their stall doors. I pulled my hair into a messy bun behind my head then grabbed the wheelbarrow and loaded it with hay. I went through an empty stall to the pasture, dropped the hay in piles that were several feet apart, then took the wheelbarrow back into the barn and let the horses out to eat.