Come Home To Love (Harlequin Signature Select)

by Joan Hohl

  lips, her hands went to his waist, then slowly up his back. She felt a small shudder ripple through his body, then his mouth crushed hers in a kiss so demanding, so possessive, it left her breathless. Her fingers curled over his shoulders, back to front, nails digging into his skin, she clung in surrender.

  The room had changed from dim black to pearl-gray before he bullied her into getting up long enough to straighten then crawl under the covers. Then drawing her tightly against his hard body he tucked the blankets around them both, saying softly, "I want no more talk about your own apartment. You're going home with me. Now go to sleep."

  tember and came full cycle with September, just now. That's why I was so still at the window. It concerns me a little, this slipping back in time so to speak."

  She paused to moisten suddenly dry lips and Mary, slowly shaking her head, said firmly, "Nothing to worry about, Kate. You were looking for answers?"

  "Yes." The word was breathed with a sigh of relief. "But I didn't find any and I still don't know what to do."

  "There is one thing you could do."

  "What?"

  "Give in," Mary answered decisively. "Stop fighting him, Kate. You are his wife, the mother of his son. So far you've refused to take advantage of that position. Assume the role. Even though you haven't said anything, I get the impression that he's willing, too. Am I right?"

  Katherine's nod was barely perceptible.

  "Well then, as I said, take on the role, making it absolutely clear to everyone that you are doing so. And the place to begin is in this house. For your own sake, Kate, submit before you tear yourself to shreds."

  "I can't," Katherine whispered.

  "Why not?"

  "He does not love me." Katherine had never said the words aloud before and the sound shocked her. It had been a cry of pure pain. Much, much more softly she repeated, "Mary, Matt does not love me."

  "And there's the rub," Mary said in a flat, yet sympathetic tone. "I don't know how to advise you on this, Kate. I loved my husband very much. And yet, at no time, even when he died, did I feel the anguish you've just revealed to me in your face and voice. I can't say I'm sorry I was denied that either-or, heaven-or-hell kind of love."

  "Oh, Mary, I feel so foolish at times. The way I feel about Matt almost frightens me, it's so intense. I always thought this kind of all-consuming love existed only in movies and novels. And now, to find myself so desperately in love, at any age, scares the hell out of me."

  "I can see how it might be scary." Mary smiled wryly in understanding. "What I don't see is what age has to do with it. Oh, I know, I know," she hurried on before Katherine could interrupt. "We grow up believing that passionate, romantic love is for the young. That we reach a point in our lives when, if we love at all, it is, by necessity a warm, companionable sort of relationship. What dribble. I simply don't believe it. I never have. Good grief, it's like asking me to believe we have a switch in our minds that automatically turns off after reaching x number of years. In my opinion we fall in love first with our mind and all the lovely, exciting responses naturally follow. So as far as I'm concerned, unless one stops growing intellectually, the impact of falling deeply in love after one reaches maturity would be greater rather than lesser." She laughed self-consciously, adding, "Thus endeth the lesson for the day. All of which doesn't help your immediate problem any way. I'm sorry, honey, but I can't help you. No one can."

  Katherine stared at her unaware that her eyes mirrored her torment. With some effort she managed a slight smile, saying softly, "Yes, I know."

  Thanksgiving, and once again Matt amazed Katherine with his ability to slip into the role of husband and father so effortlessly. After receiving the call from her mother, inviting them for the day, Katherine had hesitated briefly before relaying the invitation to Matt. She had not been informed as to any plans Beth might have

  made, yet she felt sure that if there was a conflict of plans, Matt would opt for joining in on Beth's. When he was at home, every attention, every teasing word, no matter how insignificant, he gave to DeDe cut into Kath-erine like a fine-edged blade. And if it had not been for James' comforting presence at those times, she didn't know how she would have withstood it.

  Determination gripped her. She would not spend Thanksgiving Day in the company of that woman. She was going to her parents, with or without Matt. She accepted her mother's invitation, then waited for an opportunity to speak to Matt alone before telling him of it. Her opportunity came four days before the holiday. Matt was, as usual, away on a business trip, but was expected back sometime that day. Katherine had just finished dressing for dinner and was trying to fcring some order to her now shoulder-length hair, while at the same time trying to avoid looking at her own reflection. She didn't care for the face in her mirror. It was too pale, the skin too tautly drawn with an almost transparent look. Worst of all were the fine lines at the corners of her eyes. She had dressed in a high-collared, long-sleeved, soft wool dress in an effort to hide her too prominent shoulder and collar bones, but it hadn't worked. The dress clung to her slender figure giving the appearance of fragility.

  With a sigh she drew the brush through her hair, pausing mid-stroke when Matt walked into the room. His eyes found hers in the mirror and he stood just inside the door for what seemed a long time, without speaking.

  Completely unaware that the picture reflected to Matt in the mirror was one of delicate loveliness, Katherine grew tense at his silence, her hand clenching the brush

  handle moist with perspiration. Tension made her arm suddenly tired and she slowly lowered the brush to the dressing table. The movement broke the strange stillness. Matt, shrugging out of his jacket, walked into the room, his voice sounding harsh after the intense quiet. "Hello, Katherine, you look tired, what you have been up to while I've been away?"

  Lowering her eyes from the glittering gaze of his, she murmured, "I haven't been up to anything. It's been very quiet around here." Why was it, she wondered, that he could put her on the defensive with the most innocuous question?

  One auburn brow cocked sardonically at her tone. Voice smooth as warm satin he asked, "Bored, Katherine?"

  Bored? Was he kidding? She was slowly going out of her mind with inactivity and he asks if she's bored. Irritation drove out her hesitation concerning the holiday. "Mother called a few days ago to invite us for Thanksgiving dinner. If you haven't already made other plans I'd like to go. She hasn't seen Jon in weeks."

  "Neither have my parents," came the dry reply.

  Hands clenching in her lap, Katherine's eyes flew back to his. "That is not my fault."

  Eyes narrowing, his tone became even drier. "I don't believe I said it was." He paused a moment and his eyes grew sharp, piercing. "I'm not accusing you of anything, Katherine. Why do you react to everything I say lately as if I were?"

  Katherine shrugged; had she missed something? Were they speaking about the same thing? Confused, wary under this new watchful attitude of his, she snapped, "Well, should I accept mother's invitation, or not?" Omitting to add that, for herself and Jon, she already had.

  He turned away, tugging at his tie, as if suddenly uninterested in the conversation. "By all means, accept it. And if you will, call Mother and Dad and tell them we'll stop by sometime during the day."

  The visit was made, both sets of grandparents were delighted with their grandson. Katherine hated to leave the warmth and love of her parents' home when the day was over. Matt played his role to perfection, being easy and relaxed with her parents, showing interest and concern with Tom. During the course of the day plans were made for the coming Christmas holidays, Matt completely surprising Katherine by suggesting they go to Lancaster after lunch on Christmas Day and stay over a day or two, thereby giving, he'd added with a grin, both her parents and his the opportunity to spoil Jon to their hearts' content.

  The glow that had warmed Katherine in her parents' home was quickly extinguished in the barely concealed unfriendly atmosphere in Matt's house. Kather
ine withdrew further into herself, becoming more coolly remote than ever. Although Matt did not go away for several weeks, he made no attempt to touch her. Katherine felt sure he was keeping another woman somewhere. The thought brought unwanted pictures to her mind which caused searing pain.

  The pain settled to a permanent ache inside, generating anger and resentment. She may have taken on a life sentence with Matt, but she'd be damned if she'd suffer every day of it in the house where she felt she had no more substance than a shadow. In this frame of mind, she followed him to his study one evening, two weeks after Thanksgiving. Without bothering to knock, she walked into the room just as he was lifting the tele-

  phone receiver. Glancing at her sharply, he slowly replaced the receiver before asking calmly, "Something wrong, Katherine?"

  Was something wrong? Everything was wrong and who in the hell was he going to call? His girlfriend? Katherine had to bite her lip to keep from shouting the words at him. A feeling of self-disgust washed over her. What was happening to her? What was she turning into?

  "Kate?" Matt prompted quietly.

  Katherine glanced up quickly, suddenly realizing she'd been standing just inside the door, unseeing eyes on the carpet. He was watching her narrow-eyed, something he seemed to be doing a lot lately, and taking a deep breath, she managed to meet and hold his gaze.

  "I'd like to go into the apartment for a few days, if you don't mind. See Carol, do my Christmas shopping."

  "You're asking my permission?"

  Katherine couldn't quite decide if his tone held disbelief or sarcasm. Feeling her spine go stiff, she lifted her chin and gave him a brief nod. "I thought I'd better, as you seemed so put out about it in September."

  One eyebrow arched sharply and he drawled, "I've never suggested you need my permission for anything. But don't you think, as your husband, I have the right to be informed of your plans?"

  "I did try—" she began.

  "I know," he cut in, his voice suddenly weary. "And there is no point in going over it again. When were you planning to go into town?"

  'Tomorrow morning."

  "All right, I'll wait for you and we'll go in together."

  By lunch time the following day they were once again settled into the apartment. Matt had lunch with

  them, alternately teasing Mary and Jon, and being coolly polite to Katherine, then he left for the office informing Clyde he would definitely be in for dinner by six.

  During the following week Katherine indulged in a wild orgy of shopping, some days with Carol, some days with Mary, finding a perverse sort of satisfaction in buying outrageously expensive gifts and charging them to Matt. Carol had dinner with them most evenings as Paul was on a business trip and she was lonely and, as she put it, suffering from pre-holiday depression.

  A week before Christmas, her shopping finished, Katherine was feeling some depression of her own as she thought about returning to the house. Late in the afternoon she was called to the phone.

  "Katherine, you can't go back to the country yet," cried an almost incoherent happy Carol. "You and Matt have to stay in town and help us celebrate."

  "Carol," Katherine couldn't help laughing. "Will you calm down and explain what you're talking about?"

  "Okay," Carol's voice was almost normal. "Paul got home a few hours ago and found a message to contact his lawyer. When he finally got him he told Paul the master hearing is set for the end of this week. Katherine, do you know what that means? Paul's divorce will be final soon. We'll be able to get married." She paused to take a deep breath, then went on exuberantly. "So, Paul told me to call you. He wants to celebrate and he would like you and Matt to come with us tomorrow night. You will, won't you?"

  It was the first time in a week Katherine had heard the old vibrancy in Carol's voice, and some of it was transmitted over the wire to her. Her voice alive and warm, she replied, "I wouldn't miss it and I'm sure Matt will

  feel the same. I'll talk to him as soon as he gets home and call you back, so hang by the phone. Bye for now."

  As she replaced the receiver Matt's quiet voice asked, "What will you talk to Matt about as soon as he gets home?"

  She hadn't heard him come in and startled, she spun around. "Oh, Matt," she began, then stopped on seeing James with him. James grinned and said, "Hi," but before she could return the greeting, Matt persisted, "Exactly what is it you're sure I'll feel the same about?"

  "That was Carol on the phone. It looks like Paul's divorce will be final soon and they'd like us to join them for a night on the town in celebration. We will go with them, won't we, Matt?" Though she'd started speaking happily, ^Catherine's last words ended on an anxious note as she saw Matt's face settle into grim lines.

  "I'm sorry, Katherine," he said flatly. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning to attend a textile conference. By tomorrow night I'll be in Scotland."

  "Scotland!" she cried and for the first time in their married life she questioned him on his business. "But, must you go yourself? Surely there is someone else you could send this time? Matt, this is for Carol, she adores you and she wants the two of us to be with them, share their happiness."

  "Couldn't I go in your place, Matt?" James inserted softly.

  Matt's face had become even more grim. He was shaking his head before James finished speaking. "No, not this time. If it was just the conference yes, but I've been trying, for some time, to buy a woolen mill in Scotland. It has been owned by the same family since it was built and though they can't keep it going, they dug

  their heels in." He smiled wryly, then added, "Stubborn bunch. Well, anyway, it seems they have finally read the handwriting on the wall and are ready to talk price, with me, personally." Again he paused to smile wryly, this time at the look of astonishment on James' face, for it was obvious from his expression, he had known nothing of what Matt had planned.

  "I am sorry, Katherine," Matt repeated after a few seconds. "But you go with them, if you like."

  "Unescorted?" Katherine felt more disappointed than the occasion called for and she knew inside that it wasn't so much their missing the night out as the simple fact that for the first time she'd asked Matt for something for herself and he had refused.

  "I'll be happy to escort you," James said smoothly, then added bitingly, "I may not be considered capable enough to be let in on a deal as important as the purchase of a small mill in Scotland, but I'm sure my capabilities run to holding a lady's chair and picking up a bar tab."

  "Don't be an ass," Matt snapped. "Damn it, James, I don't have to make explanations to anyone, not even you. But I will tell you this, the only reason I haven't said anything about this is I really thought they would find a way to hold on to the business. As a matter of fact, I kind of hoped they would. Now stop your stupid sulking, you know better. And as for escorting Katherine, that is entirely up to her."

  Katherine's first inclination, on hearing James' offer, had been to refuse but as Matt lashed out at his brother she felt anger and resentment burn through her and without pausing to consider her words said, "Thank you, James, I'd love to spend the evening with you."

  Dinner was an ordeal for Katherine. James stayed, as

  an invitation to dinner was the reason he'd been with Matt in the first place. The two men talked business throughout the meal, the reason for Matt inviting James in the first place, Katherine felt sure. Although Matt didn't mention it again, she was convinced he was angry at her decision to go out with James.

  As soon as she'd finished her coffee she excused herself and went to the bedroom, there to pace in frustrated anger. Not thirty minutes later, Matt followed her, saying dryly as he closed the door, "James said to tell you goodnight, and he'll call you tomorrow afternoon to find out what time to pick you up."

  She had been having second thoughts about going out with James but, at Mart's tone of voice, her resolve strengthened and she answered offhandedly, "All right, do you want me to pack for you?"

  "You're angry." A statement, not a question and for s
ome reason his calm acceptance of it angered her even more. She was standing at the window, back to him, and now, keeping a tight rein on her composure, she turned to face him. "Not at all. I'm sure Carol will be disappointed but, as she knows you so well, I'm equally sure she will not be surprised to hear that business comes first. For myself, I couldn't care less one way or the other." How on earth had she managed to infuse that total lack of interest in her tone? She saw him stiffen as the barb went home and, unable to stop herself, she twisted it a little. "Would it be impertinent of me to ask if you plan to be back in time to share your son's first Christmas with him?"

  "Yes, of course I'll be home in time." Lids narrowing over eyes beginning to blaze gave the only indication of his own growing anger. With a few strides he was

  across the room. As she turned to move away his arm shot out, encircling her waist, catching her close against him. "Katherine," he murmured softly, "the conference ends on the afternoon of the twenty-third, I will be home no later than lunch time on the twenty-fourth. Don't worry, there will be no interference with our plans for the holidays." His hands moved over her back caressingly, molding her against the hard length of him. His lips slid across her cheek, planted a tiny, fiery kiss on the corner of her mouth.

  Katherine felt the anger and disappointment begin to melt away and was on the point of sliding her arms around his waist, when his next softly suggestive words refired her resentment.

  "To answer your first question, no I don't require you to pack for me. My requirements are of a much more basic nature." His lips brushed hers, then he paused, as he felt her withdraw. "Katherine," he whispered, "I've said I'm sorry about tomorrow night, and you'll have to admit the celebration is a bit premature anyway. When you talk to Carol, why don't you suggest we wait and make a definite date for the date the decree is handed down? On me."