Paper Dolls

by Sienna Mynx

  “Don’t silence me. I have a right to have some say in my sessions.”

  Mattel cut her a sideways look. “You can have plenty of ‘say’, what you can’t do is dictate to me. We’ve been through this, Valentina. Cool off. I’ll come find you when I’m ready.”

  She clenched her hands into fists and her lips thinned with anger. Mattel waited. Whatever propelled the tide of rage to rise in her lost its wind. He could see her considering his point. She nodded and turned and walked out. Mattel closed his eyes and sighed. Working with Valentina was exhausting. But he fucking loved every minute of it.

  **

  “You good?” Mattel asked. He peeked around the door at her. After ten minutes of stalling he went after her. He couldn’t help himself.

  Valentina sucked in her bottom lip and bit down on it. He waited for her to speak. Sometimes it took longer than his patience could afford. But it was just her way. Artists were temperamental. And his Valentina had the temperament of a rattlesnake.

  “You going to talk to me?” he asked.

  “I’m worried,” she replied.

  He ventured in closer. He took a seat on the sofa. “Worried about what?”

  “Succeeding, failing, both. I feel so vulnerable in this. When I created the Diamonds I had some cover, ya know? I mean shit was hard, but there were four of us, and if a song failed, they could blame Savanna or LaCretia, and even if they blamed me, it was the Diamonds not Valentina. Now it’s just me on this record. What if? I mean sometimes I wonder if I’m as talented as I think I am.”

  “You’ve been looking at those blog sites again?” he chuckled.

  She suppressed a smile. “I hate that cockroach fucker Tim Cline. He’s on a crusade to trash me every day.”

  After a deep sigh Mattel stood and picked up a disc from his desk. He walked over to his wall-mounted CD player and dropped it inside. He pressed play. The beats he mixed with her guitar solo came up. He turned and nodded his head slowly as her soulful voice came out of his speakers.

  “Who is that?” he asked.

  Valentina frowned. Mattel walked towards her. She had to laugh to see him working his moves, rolling his neck to match the beat. “I asked you a question, who’s that?”

  “Stop playing,” she laughed.

  He took her hand and pulled her up from the chair, then spun her in a full circle before bringing her up against him. He spun her out and drew her back in. The song he co-wrote with her talked about the fight, the journey, the real sacrifice needed to believe in yourself. How could she pen such honest lyrics and not believe?

  With her in his arms he sang along softly in her ear, the lyrics that had become dear to him also were burned in his memory. Mattel sounded horrible. He could tell she loved to hear the words from some place other than her soul. Valentina laughed. She had better moves than him. She worked her body against his and began to sing. Her intention was to instruct on how to properly carry a tune. But once her voice was released he was humbled into silence. His songbird sang for him. She put her arms around his neck. She applied a more seductive swing to her hips. Once again their foreheads bumped and the two closed their eyes. Together they slipped to that special place.

  “Valentina?”

  The magic bubble she floated in popped. Valentina lifted her head from Mattel’s. She stopped singing. AK-47, her boyfriend, stood at the door with a frown on his face.

  “What are you doing here, baby?” she asked. She dropped her arms from around Mattel’s neck and stepped back.

  “We was supposed to have dinner.” He glared at Mattel. “Wsup, man?”

  “Wsup, AK,” Mattel said. He walked out without looking back.

  AK narrowed his eyes on him. “What the hell was that I walked in on?”

  Valentina hummed her song and walked over to the player. She turned it off. “What was what?”

  “Dude with his fucking hands all over you. That’s what!” AK said.

  “He’s my best friend, you know that,” Valentina cut her gaze away.

  “No. Raven and Zephyr are your best friends. That’s your fucking producer. Eh? He better keep his fucking hands to himself. That’s some bullshit.”

  “Would you quit? You know how I am when I’m in my zone. You think I want Mattel? Over you?” she smiled at him. AK ’s frown softened. He shook his head and wiped his hand down his face.

  “It’s foul, Val. I don’t want to walk into any room and see my lady in another man’s arms. That’s fucked up.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “AK, you know it’s nothing between me and Matt. You introduced us. Remember?”

  She stepped closer. AK licked his lips. Whenever he did that action she knew there would be trouble. “You done for the day, baby?” his gaze flashed up and snagged on hers.

  “Don’t you have to make an appearance at that beach party tonight?” she asked. She ran her hand down his tattooed arm.

  “At the Ice Castles, that new joint. Yeah, I do. Just got to fall through and then I’m out. I think I want to chill at your place tonight.”

  He hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her up against him. He kissed her and it felt nice. “Come with me, babe,” he said. “We roll in and out. I swear it.”

  Valentina cringed. Ice Castles was the latest hot spot for celebrity cameos. Last time she went with him her picture was all over the blogs. Raven and Zephyr gave her the blues over the contradiction. On the one hand she wanted to be taken seriously, on the other she was on the arm of a rapper banned from several states because of his vulgarity.

  “No, I’m not really in the mood. I don’t feel like the club scene,” she said.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “I’m good. Just want to focus on my music. Got some writing to do tonight, you know how it is.” She looked into his dark eyes. It was his eyes that captured her first. She didn’t have an aversion to the diamonds in his ears and on his teeth. She could see past the exaggerated tattoos, baggy clothes, and unlaced Timberlands. She could see the man he really was through his eyes. Known in the hip-hop community as AK-47, he was one of the top rappers in the business now. He worked with the biggest names. He signed a deal just a month ago to do a movie based on his life.

  But when he was with her she just called him Earl or AK, and he was the sweetest most attentive boyfriend she’s ever had. Smiling she slipped her arms around his neck. “What about you come over to my place and I cook some spaghetti?”

  He laughed. “Is that all you know how to cook, ma?”

  “It’s my specialty,” she countered.

  He ran his hands down her hips. He cupped each butt cheek and pushed her up against his groin. He gave her a soft kiss that made both of them sigh when their passion ceased.

  “Making you happy is my specialty,” he said.

  Valentina hugged him. The door opened and Mattel entered. His eyes met with Valentina’s and then shifted away. He grabbed some equipment and then walked back out. Valentina continued to rub AK’s back while she stared at the closed door.

  **

  Valentina rolled over. AK slept on his back snoring. She stared at him in the darkness. His mouth half opened, and his bare chest rising and falling. He arrived late. They didn’t make love and that was disappointing. He had too much to drink. He crashed the moment he fell on her bed. She rose on her elbow and studied his handsome features. His skin was darker than hers, his strong jaw line, high cheekbones, and his low brow made him look like some Nubian king. He was handsome, talented, rich, and sought after by most of the female population. Valentina should not only be happy but grateful. After her spiral into depression, and rejection from the celebrity friends she once loved, AK stepped into her life and nursed her fragile heart. He was a good man. She kissed his cheek.

  Valentina pulled back the sheet and eased out of bed. The first thing she did once standing was to reach for her robe. She wrapped herself up tight in terry cloth and shook out her locs. AK didn’t wake. She headed for her living room. A
t one time she owned an eight million dollar beachfront estate out in Key West. Now she had a three thousand dollar a month condo in North Miami Beach.

  Life could really smack you on your ass and make you humble.

  Her nightly routine was a refrigerator raid. She pulled out her bowl of grapes and went to the sink to rinse the fruit. Then she returned to the living room. She stopped to light her incense cones and unlock her patio door. She got the circulation of air going by turning on the ceiling fan as well. And only then did she settle down in her favorite chair.

  Valentina set the bowl between her legs and picked up her ashtray. She plucked out her half-smoked joint. She fired it up and reclined in her chair. The drag she brought down in her lungs to dilute her tension was lovely. Soon her thoughts conjured Mattel’s warning and the luster faded. She looked at the joint and exhaled through her nose. Singers that were smokers had a very short career. It was a bad habit that would certainly cost her, her gift. A habit she kept from Zephyr, but Raven knew. Raven used to get high with her in college. When she converted to Judaism after she married Alexander, Raven quit. Countless times she argued with her best friends over the medicinal purposes of weed. Valentina chuckled. Even she knew that was bullshit. She smoked because she liked it. It was also the only thing to mellow her out.

  Funny how so many folks told her it was a depressant not a stimulant, yet during her depression it kept her from leaping from her bedroom window. Toking on the joint again, she vowed to only smoke in moderation and put out the rest of the joint. She reached for the phone. She folded her legs up under her and dialed.

  “Hello?” She could hear the synthesizer in the background.

  “What’chu doing?” she asked before she tossed a grape in her mouth and then picking up the remote. She flipped the television on.

  “Working on this sound board. AK still in the club?”

  “Nope, he left the club early to come home to me, cause he loooooves me,” she sang. “I made him some spaghetti.”

  Mattel laughed. “Sounds yummy. It’s good to be loved.”

  “You know, Matt, you should date more. I mean when is the last time you’ve been out?”

  “Last night,” he replied.

  Valentina frowned. “Oh? Oh okay. You keeping secrets now?”

  “You never asked,” he told her.

  “True,” she said between several munches.

  “So wsup, Valentina, why aren’t you in bed cuddled up next to the man that looooovveees you enough to pass up a paying gig for a bowl of spaghetti?”

  “I was thinking about what you said, about not over-taxing my vocals. I think I want to do the song with just my guitar and me. Straight up. Find my voice on my own, ya know?”

  “That’s not the song for that,” Matt replied.

  “Then let’s make it the song. Think about it? The lyrics are there, we just change the tempo. At least give me a chance to prove it to you.”

  “You feel that strongly about this?” he asked.

  “I do.”

  “Fine. If you’ve got passion for it then we try it. All I want is passion from you,” he said.

  Valentina smiled. Mattel and her had so much in common. She’d never worked with someone she connected with on so many levels. She had AK to thank for introducing them. At the end of the day, a songbird needed the faith of her producer.

  “So tell me about this girl?” she asked.

  “You smoking weed?” he asked.

  “Huh?” she shot upright guiltily. “No, no.”

  Mattel laughed. “Go to bed, Valentina. See me in the morning. I’m making pancakes.”

  “I’ll be there!” she smiled. She hung up.

  “Hey, babe, what’chu doing out here?” AK asked.

  Valentina looked back over her chair. “You were sleeping. I had to make some calls.”

  He bent over the chair and kissed the top of her head. His hand slid down into her robe and he pinched her nipple. “Come back to bed,” he said and his voice was deep and insistent. Her mind and body screamed yes at once. She smiled when he squeezed her breasts. She left the chair and went into his arms. She kissed his lips, his neck, and his chest. AK lifted her and threw her over his muscled shoulder. She laughed. “Oh please, Mr. Gangster Rapper, don’t hurt me!”

  “Let’s do this.” He smacked her ass. He carried her to her room and dropped her on the bed. She giggled when he threw himself on her and rolled out of the way so that he bounced on the mattress.

  “Sorry, baby!” she said when he dragged her beneath him. She reached between her legs and stroked his thick dick. One touch of it made her shudder with excitement. If she died tomorrow she’d be happy if the last memory was of AK loving on her body. “I’m ready now. Let’s do this.” She flicked her tongue up at his chin.

  “Not what I meant, baby,” he groaned and closed his eyes. She kept stroking him. She knew he struggled to find his voice. But he did. “I mean us. Let’s move in together,” he said.

  “What?” her hand stopped mid-stroke.

  “I got that place on the beach. It’s empty. Plus I have to drive all the way over here to be with my woman. That’s fucked up. I want you with me, at home for me when I come in.”

  “Earl, please. You’re in Miami only two to three days out of the month. I barely see you as it is,” she reasoned.

  “All the more reason you should dump this funky, cheap ass condo and move in with me.”

  Valentina sighed. They’d had this argument many times before. “I don’t want to let go of my condo.”

  “Fine, I’ll pay off the rent for the rest of the year, and you come stay with me,” he grumbled.

  “I don’t want you paying anything for me. I’m trying to do something here!” she pushed him off her and he frowned.

  “Do what? Prove you down by living like you got nothing? You got me confused here, baby,” he said. “I’m trying to be real with you.”

  “You’re my boyfriend, not my pimp! And don’t talk to me about pretending. How many gangsters have you shot today?” she snapped back.

  “Valentina, damn, baby, don’t get mad.”

  She paced the side of the bed. “I don’t get why you got to come up in here and knock what I’m doing? I’ve laid there in bed and told you how it felt to lose it all. When I went bankrupt the media fried me! I told you how it felt to be laughed about, and lied on by those blogs and bastards in the industry. How bad it felt to be labeled a bitch!”

  “And I was there for you! Didn’t I get you that white boy producer? Didn’t I set you up when you were struggling? I was here!” he said.

  “I know but…”

  He fell back on his pillow. “Damn it, babe, you miss the point.”

  She put her hands to her hips. “What’s the point? Tell me the point!”

  “The point?” he sat back up. “The point is I love you. I want to take care of you because I love you! Not because you’re some has-been pop star bitch I’m fucking. When you love someone you want to help them. You won’t let Raven help you, you won’t let me, and the only person you even really talk to is that white boy who wants to fuck you!”

  Valentina drew back shocked. “Matt is my friend, my best…”

  “Best friend. Yeah I know you told me. Except I rarely see you smile at me the way you do him unless we fucking. All I get is shit for trying to be here for you.”

  He snatched back the covers and started looking for his pants.

  “Where are you going?” she asked.

  “Home, fuck this bullshit!”

  “Earl, don’t. Wait…wait!” She walked around the bed and sat down. “I’m doing it again.” She rubbed his back. “I’m sorry, baby. Slow down. I mean it. I’m sorry.”

  “Valentina, if you won’t let me in then what are we doing? I’m in love with you, girl. Don’t that count for anything?”

  “Oh baby…” she smiled. “It counts for everything. She kissed his stiff jaw. She caressed his back to his broad muscular shoulder.
“I’m in love with you too,” she said. She forced him back down on to the bed. “Forget and forgive? Huh? Wanna play with me?” she teased.

  “Fuck yeah,” he chuckled. Valentina kissed his chest. At some point their robes were off. He was flat on his back and all hers. She climbed on top of him and straddled his lap. Every inch of his hard erection could be felt between the lips of her core. She shivered. He had rough hands. He grew up working at a shipping yard with his brothers and father. But when his large calloused palms caressed down her back and ass she felt nothing but strength and love. She lifted her lips from his chest and stared into his eyes. “Thank you.”

  “For what?” he asked.

  “For believing in me. That’s all I really need, Earl, just your faith in me. Okay?”

  “Yeah. I get it, babe.” He sat up with her on his lap and smiled. “But let me put up some new TVs in here—”

  “Shhh…” she kissed him silent and laughed.

  Earl loved the way she smelled, how soft her skin felt, and every sensuous curve on her body. He was no saint. Yes, she was smart, feisty, fiercely independent, and all of those were great qualities. But she is and was the sexiest babe in the industry. Nice tight ass with thick thighs, natural perky breasts, a flat stomach with a tiny waist. None of that manufactured shit women did to themselves nowadays. You take a honey to bed and everything about her fake and inflated. Valentina was all-natural. His gaze went down to her chest. Valentina arched and dropped her head back so her lovely titties heaved up in his face. He captured a nipple between his teeth and teased it into his mouth. Valentina rubbed her plump moist pussy on his dick and all he could think of was the wet, juicy heat he longed to sink into.

  “Yes, baby,” she whimpered.

  He rarely did her without protection. Damn he wanted to now. He’d do it for a little while and then slip on a condom. Not because he didn’t want a baby with her. It would be a dream to have a little shorty with her. He took the responsible road because he knew she didn’t want children, and he’d never let her have an abortion on him.

  “Come on, baby. What you waiting for? Put it in,” she worked her hips in a circular motion, creating sweet friction on his dick