Paper Dolls

by Sienna Mynx

  “Figure out what?” she asked.

  “Why my charms haven’t worked on you.”

  “Who says they haven’t? Maybe I’ve stayed away because of them.”

  “Or maybe you’re just too nice to blow me off completely,” Clayton said with a raised brow. Zephyr smiled. The association manager made an announcement. Everyone’s attention immediately went to him. But Zephyr and Clayton continued to stare at each other.

  “How about we get out of here?” he mouthed.

  “And go where?” she asked, liking the look in his eyes.

  “Anywhere you like.”

  “Anywhere?”

  “You name it.”

  “Deal.” She got up from her chair. Clayton steered her out of the crowd. She hooked her arm in his and whispered their destination.

  Later—

  When Clayton opened the door for Zephyr she walked through, he looked around curiously at her choice. The woman at the front desk immediately smiled. “Hi, Zee. How are you today?”

  “I’m good. Clayton this is Sandra. She runs the shelter. Sandra meet Clayton a fellow animal lover.”

  Clayton shook the woman’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Sandra.”

  Sandra smiled. “So you’re here to give him the tour?”

  “This shelter is where I volunteer once a month,” Zephyr began. “Mostly we need to feed the animals, clean some cages, and just hold them. The poor babies need human contact, for someone to show them some love. It makes all the difference in the world, I think.”

  The dogs barking went from loud to louder. Zephyr took his hand. “Is it okay if I take him out back now?” she asked Sandra. The woman agreed. Zephyr led him to the back of the shelter. The barking of the caged dogs was deafening at first. Most became really agitated when they arrived. Others whimpered and came to the front of the cages begging for attention. Either way as a dog owner and lover of the canines it was pretty hard for Clayton to see.

  Zephyr went to a cage and poked her fingers through. Clayton’s instinct was to pull her away but she seemed so at ease. “Hey, sweetie, how are you today?” she said to a very mean looking animal, who at first growled then backed away. Clayton watched as Zephyr smiled brightly speaking softly to the pooch. And then amazingly the animal came to the cage and began to lick at her hand through the grate.

  “These animals just need a little love, see?” Zephyr cooed at the now gentle beast. “It’s unnatural for them to be caged like this for long periods of time. Especially if they’ve been wild or abused.”

  “How did you do that?” Clayton asked.

  “Do what? Oh? Well I wanted to be a vet in another life.” She extended her hand. Clayton accepted it and knelt next to her. He stuck his fingers through the grooves and touched the dog’s cold nose. “I never can understand how anyone could torture animals.”

  “Me either,” Zephyr sighed. “Sometimes I come here to think, to be with someone needier than me.”

  Clayton frowned at her assessment. “You don’t seem needy to me.”

  “Aaah, you don’t know me yet. I’m a worrier, constantly needing assurance that my friends and family will be okay.”

  “I don’t think that makes you needy. I think it makes you caring and there’s a difference.”

  She looked over at him.

  “Did I say something wrong?” he asked.

  “You say the sweetest things to me. A girl could get used to all this flattery,” she said.

  “I can’t help it. Let’s say you inspire me.”

  Zephyr avoided the awkward pause. She checked three more cages and greeted the animals. Clayton noticed how the barking dogs seemed to mellow with her there, as if they could sense what he felt whenever he was around her. She turned and he swore she was even more beautiful. How could this José dude piss away his chance at having her?

  “I love all kinds of animals. I rescued Stripes shortly after he was born in this shelter. I wish I could have more but José wasn’t—” She stopped herself. “C’mon, let me show you the rest of the kennel.”

  Sandra joined them. She opened a cage for one of the dogs she considered safe, “Zephyr’s here,” she said to the dogs wagging their tails. Clayton stepped back and watched, impressed. She was the only cat lady he knew who loved dogs too.

  **

  Zephyr walked along the beach with her sandals in her hand. The sea breeze carried enough moisture to make the afternoon in Miami tolerable. Clayton was at her side. He had rolled up his pant legs to his calves. She was comfortable sharing her space with him. When he drove her back to her car, she decided on the offer of the walk near the shore.

  “So no work today huh?” he asked.

  Zephyr smiled. “I have a small client list, but my salon is open for my other stylists. It pretty much runs itself.”

  “I thought of going into business for myself once. I could never decide on what.” Clayton offered.

  “What’s your passion?” Zephyr asked.

  He smiled. “You’ll laugh.”

  “No I won’t seriously. What is it?”

  “Cooking. Manly huh?” he chuckled. “That’s me, salesman by day, chef by night.”

  Zephyr stopped, digging her toes into the warm sand, she looked up at him curiously. “You are a good cook. You ever think of going to culinary school?”

  Clayton sighed and looked out at the ocean. “My ex-wife said it wasn’t part of the plan. She belittled it so much that I’m just not sure if I could.”

  “Forget your ex-wife.” She put her hands to her hips. “Life is short, and our time on this planet is probably even shorter, so why not take a risk and do what makes you happy?”

  “You are one special lady,” he chuckled.

  “So you’ve said. But consider what I said. My momma wanted me to be a doctor. She got a hair stylist. In the end she saw that my happiness was more important.”

  Clayton took her hand and she smiled. They continued to walk down the beach. Neither of them spoke. When they ended up back where they started Zephyr finally let go of his hand. “Well I guess I need to head home and see to my baby.”

  “I had a good time today. Thanks for spending it with me,” Clayton said, his voice dropped an octave and that pearly white smile of his was the biggest charmer.

  She leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth. “Thank you, Clay, there are times when a girl really needs to just feel heard and appreciated, somehow I always get that with you.”

  He reached for her hand once more. “I don’t mind going slow, but I want you to know that I can’t stop thinking about you. When you’re ready so am I.”

  She stared into his chocolate eyes and felt her heart pump harder. His hand in hers gave her a warm feeling in the cold place that desire was since José left. For the first time in a long time she craved another man other than José. “I um, well I should go.”

  Clayton kissed her hand. “I’ll be seeing you.”

  Zephyr licked her lip and sucked it in. “Yes, yes, Clay, you will.”

  **

  “Can you come over? I’m tempted to call Alexander. I don’t want to just yet. It’s crazy but seeing him with that woman, and then him leaving. I’m so very paranoid,” Raven said.

  “Well, no I can’t. I have to see to Stripes. Call Alexander. I’m sure he’d love to talk to you,” Zephyr said.

  “No,” Raven sniffed. “No, I’ll do it right. Besides he’s coming back. He said he was so he is, right?”

  Zephyr smiled.

  “Zephyr! You there? You hear me?”

  “Yes, Rae. You tell that man you’re giving him another chance to be a father again, and you won’t be able to get rid of him. You’re making yourself upset over nothing.”

  “I just don’t want to pick up the phone and say it, and I still haven’t told him about Asia—I mean Kim, I don’t want him to think that I want us back because I was wrong. He has to know that I trust him and that I believe in us, right?”

  “Right.”

&nbs
p; “Okay, okay, I’m fine. I feel sick though so I’m going to lie down. Oh wait!” Raven said.

  “Yes?” Zephyr said. She turned into her complex.

  “Kevin, I can’t find him. He’s not taking my calls. I think he’s upset with me,” Raven said.

  “Why?”

  “I hurt his feelings, can you call him and see if he’s okay? Tell him to call me so we can talk. I need to explain things to him.”

  “Well, I don’t know—”

  “I left him several messages. Alexander has pretty much had his people come in and take over this lawsuit thing, so I’m not sure what’s going on. If I could get my head out of the toilet I would go see him myself. Do you mind?” Raven asked.

  “I’ll check in with him. I was going to call him anyway,” Zephyr said.

  “Really why?”

  “Nothing, talk to you soon.”

  “Okay bye.”

  Zephyr turned off the car. Clayton’s car wasn’t in his parking spot so she figured he must have chosen another errand. Instead of heading for her door she strolled across the parking lot to the mail hut where her box was and retrieved her mail. She smiled to see two letters from her mom, and one from her sister. To this day people didn’t understand why they communicated by mail, but it was something they all did and never deviated from. She vowed to call her mother and see if she got the check she sent for her father’s medical bills.

  As she headed back to her place she stopped in the parking lot and discovered another letter. It was from José. Zephyr’s heart pounded at the sight of it. How many times had José said he’d never write a letter when she begged him to while out on the road with the team? She would have loved to get postcards from his away trips, and other little letters. But she got nothing, until now. She stuffed the other mail in her purse and quickly opened his.

  Zee,

  Surprised to get a letter from me? I know you must be, because I vowed never to put pen to paper. Since I’ve been here though, they make us keep journals and I’ve noticed that most of them are filled with you. It got me to thinking that maybe I should write.

  I received your phone messages, but I just couldn’t talk to you. I’ve had a lot of time to think, and face the ugliness in me. Especially the ugly ways I abused you and your love for me. To be honest, I don’t even know how you can stand the sight of me. All I can say, and will continue to say until one day I’ve earned your forgiveness is that I’m sorry.

  You asked me how could anything we shared be special when I gave it to other women so freely. I think that question is the one that haunts me the most. Because despite it all you were the only woman that I felt special with, and I destroyed that. I don’t know how or if I can ever undo the things I’ve done. I can only say that the drugs, and the money weren’t the reason. My ego and pride were. Losing everything, including you, has been the most humbling experience of my life. Now I’m stuck with me. And guess what, I discovered I don’t like me very much.

  These people had me on suicide watch. They said withdrawal of steroids could make the depression worse. That’s funny. The only withdrawal I’ve been going through is not having you. I got another two weeks here and then I’m out. The rest of the treatment is out patient but I plan to stick to it. I hope that neighbor of yours has moved away. Or at the very least is a worse jerk than me, but I have a feeling that he’s seen what I lost and is making up for my failures. If you’re happy then so am I. But I haven’t given up, Zee. How can I? I love you.

  José

  Zephyr heard a horn and looked up. A car that tried to pass was stopped. She quickly hurried across the parking lot. Reaching for her keys she got through her door, then finally breathed. She pressed her back to the door. She held tightly to his letter and the love she felt. Though she had no delusions of some reconciliation, she was so worried about his recovery. He sounded like it was happening and that’s all she wanted.

  Maybe the season was about to change? She surely hoped so.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Passion/Disappointment

  He wanted her. And she needed to be wanted. His lips were on her skin. His hands groped and then massaged her breasts, as he whispered to the parts of her body he desired to taste. She squirmed to balance the weight of him and tried to relax. After all he was a good man, successful, sexy, attentive, and solely focused on wooing her.

  “Clayton, I—” she panted between his forced kisses. The option to resist his passion was taken from her. He pushed her legs apart with his thighs, and dropped his weight on her. The length and thickness of his cock was hard and strong. The friction of his zipper scraping against the lining of her panties was what made it uncomfortable. Zephyr winced. She turned her face from his smothering kiss and gasped for air before she could speak. “Clayton, please wait—” she begged.

  “Zee, please don’t make me stop… I’ve waited long enough,” he said. He kissed her face and neck. She felt trapped, almost obligated to satisfy him. After all he’d wined and dined her for weeks with no more than a parting kiss at the door. Wasn’t it the most natural thing for them to take it to this level?

  Zephyr nodded and let Clayton rip through her clothing to drool over her exposed body. His touch softened when he felt her breasts and cupped her sex. His breathing was labored and his eyes lit up with adoration. The man desired her so completely it was hard lately to look him in the eye without thinking of sex. This is what he’d been waiting for. José was such a different lover, having learned all her spots. He touched, kissed, and licked parts of her body, and she was begging to be loved. This wasn’t bad with Clayton, it was just different. Different was good, right?

  “I’ve wanted you so bad, Zephyr. So fucking bad. I can’t take it any longer,” he said and she knew he meant it. Each night he got bolder and bolder. Soon a simple game of backgammon had her laid out, with him situated between her thighs.

  “You’re so beautiful, so sweet, your body is so fucking beautiful.”

  When he swiped his tongue over the exposed nipple from the pulled down lace cup of her bra, she got some relief. He kept stroking and petting her pussy through her panties. It felt good. She relaxed. And her body responded.

  I can do this. I can do this. It’s over between José and me. It’s time for me to move on. I will move on. This is a good man. I need to be focused on what is healthy for me. I can do this.

  She exhaled. His tongue went deep. So deep in her mouth she could barely breathe. He’s such a sweet guy, all the things her mother would love. Honest, hardworking, committed, debt free. She didn’t need bad boys. She needed a man she could count on. And Clayton fit the bill.

  “Damn, your pussy is so tight. I want this pussy. I want it bad. Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?”

  “Can we slow down a minute?” she breathed out a long sigh. He doesn’t hear her. He sweetly pressed kisses to the side of her neck, and inserted another finger, working all three in and out. Her blouse was open and he licked and sucked her nipples as if they were candy. It was the first time since they started dating that he’d ever seen them. It had been months. Four months to be exact. She had even started dating Jarrod, Matt’s brother. He was nice, sweet, and their dates never progressed past a few kisses. The truth was she hated dating. The pressure sucked. She felt none of the liberation the girls swore she’d find. Still she tried. But Clayton was her neighbor, and always there to shower her with attention. Zephyr even had Kevin trying to convince her to go to dinner with him. So much attention from handsome men, she couldn’t believe her choices.

  Zephyr opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Clayton removed his fingers from inside her panties and sat back. Her eyes connected with him as he licked her essence from his fingertips. His smile was both wicked and teasingly sexy. He lowered his zipper.

  Clayton pulled out his dick and stroked it for her. Zephyr’s smile was faint, but it was there. He’d convince her of his passion for her. There was no way in hell she would send him away with blue balls
again tonight.

  Damn she’s beautiful. How many nights had he stroked his dick after a conversation with her, or a simple dinner they shared? He was no stranger to beautiful women. Clayton reached into his back pocket and removed his wallet. He was quick to put on contraception. He feared one simple delay would change her mind. She lay still beneath him on the floor in front of her television. He should take her to the bed. He should take his time. He could barely breathe enough to control himself.

  He dropped on Zephyr and she squirmed a bit. He pinned her down and thrust into her. Penetration was heaven. Clayton gripped her hips and steadied his glide into her tight hotness.

  “Oh yeah, so good, Zee. Damn. I fucking want this so bad,” he grunted. He kissed her. She kissed him back. Her arms and legs went around him. Maybe it was the wine. It could have been his pent up excitement. He wasn’t sure of the reason. Without warning he shuddered and climaxed. Defeated he collapsed on her. The party was over before it began.

  “Ah, Clayton, you’re heavy,” Zephyr said.

  “Oh! I’m so sorry, beautiful,” he pulled out of her. He dropped on his back. “Fuck! I don’t know what happened. That never happens to me! Fuck!”

  “It’s okay, we uhm, have all night,” she said and sat up.

  Clayton realized he only had one condom in his wallet. He wanted another chance. “I’ll just run next door and get, uh, some more condoms,” he said with a sheepish grin. She glanced back at him as if she were going to object. Clayton’s heart leapt to his throat. Please give me another shot. One more shot, beautiful, and I swear it will be good. Please! He screamed in his head. She flashed him a sweet smile and he was up on his feet zipping up his pants. In his haste he tripped over his feet falling.

  Zephyr fixed her clothes and laughed. “You are too funny!” she said.

  The sex was awful. She could barely get into it before it was done. She watched him go to the door and look back at her with an apologetic smile. She knew he wanted a second chance. Should she even bother?