Still Waters

by Linda Kavanagh

  “H-how do you know about Joe?” she whispered.

  Brian looked surprised. “The same way you do! Oh, didn’t I tell you? We’ve given names to all the elephants – that old elephant I had to shoot was called Joe. Everyone at Siyak’atala will be very sad to hear what happened to him.”

  Ivy’s heartbeat returned to normal, or as normal as it could be, given that she’d just thought she was about to be terminated herself!

  Suddenly, she realised that Brian was looking closely at her. “Why did you look so shocked when I mentioned the name Joe?”

  Momentarily, Ivy looked stricken, but quickly recovered. “Oh, nothing. I’m probably still a bit emotional because of what happened.”

  Brian looked at her searchingly. “No – there was something else, Ivy. I felt emotional myself – no vet likes to see an animal die. But you looked really stunned – maybe even frightened – when I mentioned his name. Does the name Joe have some special meaning for you?”

  Ivy struggled to find a suitable answer. “Er, that’s my son’s name.”

  “Any time you’ve spoken about your son, you’ve always called him ‘Joseph’, not Joe,” Brian said patiently. “And that phone call yesterday had you terrified, although you tried not to show it. Come on, Ivy – tell me what’s really going on.”

  Ivy looked down at her feet, because she didn’t dare look at Brian’s kind face. She knew he’d be looking worried, his brow furrowed with concern. Perhaps it was the large brandy he’d given her, but she was suddenly overcome by the most tremendous urge to unburden herself. Instinct told her that he would keep any secrets she shared with him, and she knew that Owen trusted him implicitly.

  Slowly, she nodded. “It’s a long story – but you don’t really want to know.”

  He reached out and grasped her hand, his blue eyes staring intently into hers. “Oh, but I do. I can see that something is making you very unhappy.”

  For a while, Ivy said nothing, and Brian didn’t try to hurry her.

  “I think someone’s planning to blackmail me – or maybe even kill me,” she finally blurted out, still looking down at the floor. Her guilt wouldn’t allow her to look at him yet. “The phone call last night was from the person who’s called me before – I’m sure of it. But I never thought they’d manage to find me here.”

  Brian looked shocked. “Ivy, this is serious – have you told the police?”

  She looked up at last, and despite her determination not to cry, fresh tears were filling her eyes. “The trouble is – I’m guilty. I did something terrible when I was a teenager – well, not intentionally. I thought I’d got away with it, but the hurt I’ve done to other people never ends – and now, I think someone is trying to get revenge.”

  Ivy began weeping, and silently Brian took her into his arms.

  Chapter 28

  Danny Heartley whistled happily to himself as he walked home, having shared a last lingering kiss with Ivy on her doorstep. They’d just made love down by Harper’s Lake, and it had been every bit as magical as he’d hoped it would be. Ivy Morton was his at last! He could hardly believe his luck – he’d loved her for so long, and now they were finally a couple.

  He was also relieved that Rosa wouldn’t be in Ivy’s class at school any longer – she’d probably have caused a scene, and he knew how much Ivy would hate that. Rosa could be volatile and unpredictable – he knew all about that too! On the other hand, maybe he should feel grateful to Rosa, because going out with her had probably helped to focus Ivy’s interest on him, and enabled him to win her round at last.

  As he walked along there was a spring in his step, and he felt as though he was walking on air. It was amazing how one person could do this to him! Now he knew that all the songs written about love were true – it was a wonderful feeling. He felt a momentary pang of guilt about Rosa – he’d never expected her to be so upset. But Rosa was in the past, and a glorious future with Ivy lay ahead.

  As he walked home, he thought of Ivy’s pretty face, her cute freckled nose and glorious long blonde hair. He also loved her quiet determination – and her sex appeal, of course. Ivy Morton was something special.

  Danny grinned. Now he had every reason to study hard this year. He could get top marks when he put his mind to it, and that was what he now intended to do. And when they finished school, he and Ivy would leave Willow Haven together. He hoped Ivy would get the place at RADA that she was longing for – if not, he’d have to earn enough money from his day job to pay for acting classes, since acting was what she wanted to do more than anything. He’d attend night classes in marketing and retail management because, unlike his brother Joe, he genuinely loved working in his father’s shop. But he intended surpassing his father’s ambitions – owning a village grocery store might have been enough for Fred Heartley, but he intended owning a chain of supermarkets one day. He’d learned a lot in his father’s store, and he’d take with him the ideas that worked, and discard those that didn’t. His supermarkets would be different from those already in existence, offering new kinds of produce allied to top-quality service.

  In fact, he was bursting with ideas, and all because Ivy Morton was his! He felt as though a cracker had gone off inside his head, spilling out all sorts of plans and possibilities. He suddenly felt able to take on the whole world and win.

  Back at the store, even his father’s sour expression couldn’t dampen Danny’s happiness.

  “What has you grinning from ear to ear?” Fred Heartley asked grudgingly. “You look like a cat that’s got the cream!”

  “Even better, Dad, even better,” Danny said cheerfully. “Now, let me help you with those potato sacks – you shouldn’t be lifting such heavy weights at your age.”

  “Listen here, young man, I’m not helpless, you know!”

  Danny grinned. “I know, Dad – but there’s no need to do it when I’m here.”

  His father looked at him crossly. “You’re late for your shift.”

  Danny gave him a look of mock outrage. “Dad – that’s not fair! I’m only ten minutes late! You know I always do my fair share in the shop – and I do the stocktaking on Saturdays and a full shift on Sundays.”

  Fred nodded “Yes, I know. You’re a good lad, Danny, a good lad. I only wish –”

  As his father gazed into the distance, Danny knew he was thinking of Joe.

  “I miss him too, Dad,” he said softly. “And I don’t think you need to worry about him – I’ll bet he’s off in Australia right now, living it up!”

  “That’s all very well,” Fred said softly, “but I just wish he’d let us know.”

  As Danny went upstairs to the family’s living quarters, his joy at being Ivy’s boyfriend was briefly tempered by sadness for his brother. He missed Joe too, and he wished his father wouldn’t keep clinging to hope, since he was certain Joe wasn’t coming back.

  Chapter 29

  Aided by several more brandies, Ivy told Brian everything as they sat on the stoep together. It was a huge relief to share it all with someone at last. Brian didn’t appear shocked, and asked pertinent questions throughout Ivy’s narrative. Then he held her again, and she lay quietly in his strong comforting arms.

  Ivy felt overwhelmed with relief. He hadn’t seemed appalled by her duplicity. Instead, he’d assured her that she’d only done what any scared teenager might have done.

  “You’ve punished yourself enough,” Brian said gently. “You have to start forgiving yourself. You’re a different person now – you were only a child when it happened. Today, the adult ‘you’ would make a different choice.”

  “But my actions have hurt so many people!” Ivy whispered, her tears starting to flow again.

  Brian sighed. “We all hurt others, often without meaning to. Anyway, I think you’ve probably hurt yourself as much as anyone else.” He looked at her sternly. “But this mysterious caller is clearly a murderer. You must go to the police – you could be risking your life if you don’t.”

  Ivy grimaced
. “I can’t, at least not yet. My possessions are still at the bottom of the lake, and I need to get them back first.”

  Brian’s blue eyes flashed angrily. “It’s too dangerous – you could end up the third body in that car! Maybe telling the police would be enough to scare this person off – you mightn’t need to tell them about your own involvement.”

  “Sorry – I can’t take that risk.”

  Brian looked at her earnestly. “Don’t you think you should tell Owen? You know he loves you, and would never judge you.”

  Ivy nodded. “He’s the best brother anyone could have, but he’s just got engaged, and I don’t want to spoil his happiness.”

  Ivy suddenly hoped Brian wouldn’t think she’d burdened him simply because he didn’t have a partner of his own. “I hope you don’t think –”

  Brian seemed to read her mind. “No, of course not – I’m honoured that you trusted me. But this is serious – you could be in real danger.”

  Ivy bowed her head. She felt drained by her confession, and guilty for involving Brian, since there was nothing he could do from such a distance. But it felt good to have someone on her side – she’d felt so alone for so long. Had she betrayed Danny and his family by sharing her concerns with Brian? She felt a stab of guilt at having confided in a relative stranger. But she was well aware that a wedge had been driven into her relationship with the Heartley family a long time ago. It had been lodged there the moment her deception began.

  Brian stood up. “Come on – I’ll walk you to your room. I think we’ve both had enough excitement for tonight.”

  But the excitement was far from over. As they stood outside Ivy’s bedroom door, both felt overwhelmed by all that had happened. And both their emotions were raw and needy. Suddenly, a goodnight kiss turned into a promise of something more.

  Ivy found herself desperately wanting this gorgeous man, who now knew more about her than any other person in the world. Brian knew what she’d done yet he didn’t blame her. And he wanted her, too. It was a heady feeling that she hadn’t experienced since the days when she and Joe made love in Johnson’s barn. She felt cleansed by Brian’s desire for her – surely she couldn’t be a bad person if this wonderful man wanted her?

  As he kissed her outside her bedroom door, his lips were warm and urgent, and she was filled with longing for him. Quickly she opened her bedroom door and drew him inside.

  “I’ve wanted you since the moment I first saw you,” Brian whispered, kissing her again, and she felt desire course through her. Everything in her longed to make love to him. Her entire body was aching for him. For the first time in her adult life, she could make love honestly, with a man who knew the truth about what she’d done.

  But she couldn’t. As she thought of Danny, all passion evaporated. She couldn’t do it to him. Even though her husband was thousands of miles away and would never know, she still couldn’t go through with it.

  Still panting with desire, Ivy broke free from Brian’s embrace.

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t – I really want to – but I just can’t.”

  Brian groaned softly. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t have even – look, you’re vulnerable right now, and I wouldn’t want you to think I’d take advantage of you –”

  “No, I want you, too!” she whispered, aware that she’d led him to believe she wanted it to happen, and she still did. But somehow clarity and common sense had prevailed. She was a married woman, and wasn’t free to make love to another man, no matter how attractive he was. And Brian was attractive. She longed to run her hands through his sun-bleached wavy hair and kiss every inch of his tanned, handsome face. Part of her wanted him to take control of the situation so that she wouldn’t have to bear any responsibility for what happened between them. Then she felt ashamed – he’d never force her to do anything she didn’t want to.

  As her pulse slowed down, Ivy gave him a tentative smile. “I’m sorry, I can’t expect you to understand –”

  “I do – and I’m sorry, too,” he said sadly. “I’d no right to assume anything. I got carried away – you’re quite a woman. What man wouldn’t desire you?” He kissed her forehead. “Let’s forget this ever happened. I want you, but you’re out of bounds, and you have my word I’ll never cross that line again.” He smiled tenderly. “I hope we can still be friends?”

  She nodded, slipping into his arms again. But this time their embrace was simply tender and affectionate. Then, placing another light kiss on her forehead, Brian slipped out of her room. Alone, Ivy touched her skin where he’d kissed her, and wished it could have been so much more.

  There were no more phone calls for Ivy and, as the days went by, she began to relax again. Brian and Owen each took her out on early-morning game drives, which necessitated getting up at five, but which were worth it because of the range of animals she saw.

  Even when alone with Brian, Ivy was deeply conscious that he never again mentioned that night, and they slipped back into a relaxed and companionable friendship. But Ivy always felt the pull of her attraction to him. Sometimes, she secretly hoped he felt the same, but then she felt mean for wishing it, since it was unfair to Brian because she was a married woman and had no right to return his feelings.

  Why on earth did she feel this way about him? She was well aware that being married was no guarantee that you wouldn’t notice other attractive people. In the course of her career, she met them every day. But what she felt for Brian seemed deeper than any of the minor attractions she’d felt for other men throughout her life.

  Perhaps it’s just a holiday thing, Ivy concluded. I’ve been married to Danny for so long that any show of interest from another man would go to my head. Or perhaps it was simply the contrast between the two men. Danny was a businessman with a wardrobe full of expensive Saville Row suits, and he never went anywhere without a tie. In contrast, Brian was always dressed in shorts, and his tanned arms and legs would surely turn any woman’s head.

  Ivy spent a day at the veterinary hospital, and was astonished and humbled by the variety of Owen and Brian’s work, and the speed and professionalism with which they, veterinary nurse Charmaine and their team got through their workload. Their patients that day included a crocodile, a pregnant giraffe and a rhino with a badly infected wound who’d been tranquillised in the wild and transported to the veterinary hospital by a team of rangers. Local people also brought in their animals, including a female dog for spaying and a goat with a wound that needed stitching.

  “You’re all amazing,” Ivy said at the end of the day.

  She’d watched as Owen and Brian performed operations, applied medication and reassured animals, always treating them with respect. They both nodded their thanks, smiling wearily as they stripped off their operating gowns and went to shower.

  The next day, her brother took her to Port Elizabeth and showed her around the city. Ivy was fascinated and delighted to see the many Art Deco homes and buildings that comprised much of the city centre. Then Owen took her to visit the Red Location Museum, which detailed the local struggle against apartheid, and to lunch at a beach café in Summerstrand.

  As they sat gazing out across the sea, Ivy watched seals cavorting in the bay. “This is such a beautiful country,” she said. “I feel so lucky to be staying with you, and getting a chance to see the real South Africa.”

  Owen nodded. “If you’d stayed in hotels or guesthouses, you’d believe this country was entirely populated by whites. You’d never see a black face because they’re the ones cleaning the toilets, washing dishes or peeling vegetables in the kitchens. Inequality here is still rife, and there seems little hope of change.”

  Ivy touched his hand. “I can see you’re very angry, Owen. But apartheid is over – I find it hard to believe that the present government isn’t trying to improve their own people’s lives.”

  Her brother looked sad. “Then why has so little been done?”

  Ivy said nothing. Since she’d arrived in South Africa, she’d been appalled
at the extremes of wealth and poverty. And the wealthy seemed to feel no need to redress the inequality that existed. On the other hand, the people who suffered such poverty still maintained immense dignity and self-pride.

  Back at Siyak’atala, there was only just time for a quick change of clothes before they all set out for the nearby township. First, they went to hear one of the many choirs rehearsing, then on to the shebeen, where they drank, sang and danced the night away, in the company of some of the poorest of people in South Africa. Yet they had more fun than if they’d visited the most expensive nightspot. The shebeen consisted of nothing more than a few sheets of corrugated iron over brick walls, yet inside there was a well-equipped fridge for storing beers. As regulars, Owen, Brian and Charmaine knew everyone present, and Ivy was quickly introduced to them all. By the time she was leaving, she truly felt she was leaving friends.

  Ivy found she didn’t want to leave South Africa, but all too soon the day of her departure approached. After a quiet dinner on her last night, it seemed the most natural thing in the world for Owen and Charmaine to sit in one corner of the stoep, talking quietly to each other, while Ivy and Brian sat on the opposite side. No doubt, Ivy thought, they’re drawing up plans for their wedding. And she was pleased to have an excuse to return to South Africa again the following year.

  Ivy shivered at the thought of going back home. She desperately hoped that by the time she returned for Owen’s wedding, the problem of the mystery caller would have resolved itself. Once she recovered her possessions from the lake, the caller would no longer have any hold over her.

  She was still perturbed that this person had managed to locate her in South Africa – which had to mean it was someone she knew. She guessed her parents hadn’t been able to resist telling everyone in Willow Haven about her trip to visit their son in South Africa, since they enjoyed trumpeting their children’s achievements. A brief enquiry would easily have elicited Owen’s location, and Google would have supplied the details of Siyak’atala and its phone number. Ivy couldn’t really blame her parents for being proud of their children, except that in this case it could lead to her downfall.