He stilled against her, waiting. Tugging his mouth back to hers, she let him see her relief. "I've felt that way about you . . . even when you didn't seem to like me."
His mouth trailed a heated path down her shoulder. "Purely defensive," he admitted.
She surrendered the ability to formulate words as waves of sensation rolled over her, her body melting into a tidal pool of liquid heat. Clinging to him for support, her nails dug into his back, urging him closer still, never wanting the feeling to end. Desperate to stop the ache, Julie tugged at his jeans, her body screaming for release from the delicious torment.
She glanced up to find his eyes ablaze, matching the desire she knew shimmered in hers. This time it was Matt who shuddered as she stroked his aching fullness.
"Don't," he ordered, his voice husky with need. He swallowed convulsively. "Hell— I'm
half out of my mind for you."
She reveled in his admission. Emboldened with the knowledge, she pushed him back against the mattress.
"Jules, are you sure?"
"Incredibly." She pulled him closer, unable to wait a moment longer.
"If we're stopping— it better be now." Matt's eyes were grim as he searched for any sign of uncertainty. "I don't want you to hate me."
His caution was made more endearing by the fact that he didn't want to stop. But he would, if she changed her mind. "I can't hate you," she promised, before pulling his head down to hers. "Unless you stop," she added. "I need you tonight. I think you need me, too."
His eyes closed at her admission and he cut off her fevered words with his lips, his mouth hot over her skin. A half-smile on her lips, Julie watched warm, calloused and unbelievably capable hands stroke down her legs. Matt released her only long enough to remove his jeans and search the bedside table for a condom, both of which were accomplished with amazing speed.
She smiled at the fleeting grin that overtook his intense expression before his gaze locked with hers. Gorgeous blue eyes were dilated, passion-drugged as they glittered an invitation, enticing her soul, if she dared.
"Jules-" His gaze swept her body. "So beautiful."
His rasping voice surrounded her, whispering words of need and passion and joy, yet she could barely hold on to them. Her thoughts became disjointed— a dream she never wanted to awaken from. His control nearly gone, his fire swept through her, carrying her away on waves of pleasure.
Matt collapsed next to her with a groan. Dazed, he waited for strength to return, content to feel Julie's heart still racing against his hand. For a long while, neither moved. Slowly, his senses returned. When he lifted suddenly heavy lids, her luminous green eyes stared back. A gorgeous smile on her lips lured him again, her mouth restless and sweet against his. Pulse still drumming in his ears, he fought the lethargy stealing over him. "Are we alive?"
A lazy smile appeared before she sighed. "Barely."
A minute later, intense pleasure turned swiftly to dread at the sudden realization-
Julie must have sensed his sudden tension. "What is it?"
When he didn't answer immediately, she shot away from him. Forgetting his panic, Matt followed. "Babe, where are you going?"
***
Julie swung her legs over the side of the bed. "You regret it?" Just saying the words hurt. He hadn't felt it. "I thought you— I thought—" She groped to find her clothes. Where had she thrown her shirt?
"This was obviously a mistake." He'd felt nothing. No— worse. He was horrified. And she was in love. For ten minutes, this incredible man had wanted her. Her heart had reeled with the acknowledgment that he was different. Because despite her best intentions, she was starting to rely on him. And that realization alarmed her more than any stalker in a ski mask ever could.
"No way in hell was this a mistake." Matt was on his feet before she could reach the bathroom. "And if it was, then I still want to do it again."
Never in a million years could she have imagined having a conversation like this— standing naked in the middle of a strange bedroom— arguing with the well-sculpted, equally naked man she'd fallen in love with. "Your face— you looked like the next victim in a slasher movie."
"You're probably right," he admitted, voice husky as he pulled her closer. Despite her anger, Julie swayed into him, needing to feel his arms around her, wanting to trust him. "When I finally regained brain function, I realized-"
"You don't want me?" Was he back to thinking she was guilty?
His expression incredulous, he gazed down at her. "How could you possibly think that?" He glanced to the bathroom. "Hang on a second, okay?"
His minute felt like twenty before he returned. Linking his fingers with hers, he tugged her back to bed. "Try not to panic-"
"Saying that pretty much guarantees I'm going to panic-"
He cut off her tirade with a kiss. It was sweet at first, nibbling the corner of her mouth, teasing her with the prospect of more. Resistance wobbling, she melted into the kiss. When he finally released her, she swayed against him, making him smile. Clearly, the sight of her— desperate, needy, sexually starved, was amusing to him.
"Okay now?"
Releasing an unsteady breath, she nodded.
"The condom broke." He whispered the confession, his frank statement hanging between them. Still a little dazed— and if she were entirely truthful— wanting him all over again, Julie didn't register his words. For several seconds, she stared at him, bemused. "W-what did you say?"
"Babe— the condom."
Like a dousing of icy water, her eyes widened as his words sunk in. Her stomach clutched with a flare of anxiety, and then— something else. Something warmer . . . and not entirely fearful began to take hold. "H-how do you . . . feel about that?"
"How do you feel?" Matt's expression, though compelling, wasn't exactly revealing.
Helpless to sort through all the emotions she was experiencing, she finally shrugged. "I don't know," she answered honestly. "Not . . . bad— if that's what you mean."
His relief seemed almost palpable, as though he were more concerned about her reaction than the possible outcome. "I'm sure— it will be fine. These things happen."
Not exactly a declaration of love, but then— she would have trouble confessing those words so soon— even under normal circumstances.
"You're— not on any birth control?"
Her face heating, she shook her head. "I . . . I don't actually have time to date anymore."
His expression unreadable, he stared at her. "How long has it been?"
"I'm— not sure that's relevant-" When he raised an eyebrow, she shook her head. "A long time, okay?" Her face had to be scarlet at this point.
"It's been awhile for me, too," he offered, likely an awkward attempt to ease her discomfort.
She chuckled. "Seriously— it's okay. I admit, I have no life."
Matt tugged her down to the bed. Julie complied, still dazed by the news— by the jarring possibility that resulted from it. Propping his head on one hand, he leaned over her. "It's been several months— since before my surgery."
His surgery— after nearly being murdered. After taking a bullet and surviving it. Fear flashed over her. Is this what it would be like? Loving someone who faced danger every single day? Wondering whether he'd make it home each night? Yet, his reassuring smile made everything seem fine. Normal. No worries. A sexy flash of confidence in a situation that needed a dose of it. Matt's smile could likely convince her of anything.
He kissed her, lingering over the task. He was a seriously good kisser, she thought absently, allowing herself to sink into the wonder of it.
"Julie, love . . . I want you again."
A shudder of acknowledgment tore through her as his hands, strong and capable, slid over her body, making it tingle and arch to life. She found him in the darkness, drifted over hot skin, his ropy muscles contracting under her fingertips. When they trailed over his chest, stroking through the thatch of hair she discovered there, his indrawn breath made her feel l
ike the most powerful woman in the world. "Maybe this time we should double up," she teased.
"As long as we're acknowledging I'm twice the man you're used to."
"Let me see." Pushing him back against the mattress, She studied him, the tautness of his body where she touched him. His eyes, shimmering with passion— for her. His breathing choppy as she continued her exploration. "Definitely twice the man," she confirmed a few minutes later. Staring into eyes that had gone bright with need, she lowered her mouth to his.
"Jules— yes." Restless on the bed beneath her, he reached for her, his fingers tangling in her hair. Reveling in the powerful feeling of ownership, Julie's breathing grew ragged as he moved against her.
"Let me see you," his tense voice commanded.
Mesmerized by the intense blue fire in beautiful eyes, she drank in his fierce control, until they were both mindless to sensation. Moments later, she collapsed against his chest, panting as her body continued to quake. "Hopefully before morning . . . you're three times the man," she whispered, her drowsy voice slurred as his arms banded around her.
His chest shaking with laughter, he tightened his hold. "I'll do my best."
***
Much later, Matt lay next to her, hands stacked under his head. Sprawled on the pillow beside him, Julie's smile was one of drugged satisfaction. "So, it was true?" He experienced a hum of pleasure as she stroked his shoulder.
"What?" Her wandering fingers paused in the examination of his scar. "Does that hurt?"
"What Tori said? About you . . . about how long it's been?" He inhaled sharply when she nibbled her way to the base of his throat. "And no— it doesn't hurt. It's the muscle that's damaged."
Her lips brushed his ear. And he stirred against her. She was like a drug he couldn't get enough of. Tucking an errant strand of silky hair behind her ear, he felt a powerful tightening in his chest. There was nothing subtle about his feelings for her. Each day he grew more protective, more. . . compelled to keep her safe. Her stubbornness both worried and amused him. He admired her courage, her resolve that she would get through whatever hit her next. With or without him. Perhaps that bothered him most.
He wished she needed him. . . like he was starting to need her. When she poked him, he winced. "Hey-"
"How do you know what Tori said?"
Too late— Matt realized he was in no shape to conduct this conversation. He'd allowed his satisfaction-dazed brain to slip. "We— uh . . . heard you. Your phone is-" Her hand froze on his shoulder. He needed a diversion. "She sounds fun."
"Someone listened to us?"
Dammit, how had he let this get started? "That's the function of a tap."
"Am I allowed any privacy?"
"We have privacy now." Matt shifted to face her, in full-on damage control mode. Pulling her closer, he grazed her mouth. If he could distract her-
"I-I answered the phone out of reflex."
His mouth trailed over her cheek. "You handled it perfectly." When she frowned, he knew his diversion wasn't working.
"You said 'we'?"
Matt felt her stiffen— likely with fury. He was about to crash and burn. "We?"
***
"We thought Tori sounds fun." Julie's sense of humor dissolved under a scorching wave of embarrassment as she remembered snippets of the conversation with her friend. "How many people heard?"
His pause seemed to go on forever. "When a call is— entertaining, people tend to— gather."
Julie struggled to recall what they'd discussed. Men. With Tori, every conversation was about men. And— her dryspell. "Oh. My. God."
He captured her restless fingers. "Hey, it wasn't bad. We've heard worse."
She snatched her hand away. "That's supposed to make me feel better?"
Matt smiled down at her. "Honey— don't be embarrassed."
"Is this you comforting me? Because you suck at it." Dammit, this was personal to her. How could it not be? "Victoria— exaggerates. You shouldn't believe everything she says."
"I can't wait to meet her."
Covering her face, Julie peered through her fingers. "I'm not as pathetic as she made me sound."
He shifted, suddenly leaning over her, his beautiful eyes serious. "Jules— the way I feel, I'm fine with hoping you haven't dated much."
"Why?" Had he been laughing at her? She shivered as a terrible thought occurred. "Did you p-plan this? B-because you heard . . . I hadn't-"
He pressed his fingers to her lips. "Don't say it," he warned. "Our being together was inevitable."
Julie held her breath, too afraid to speak. It would only come out wrong. She wanted to believe him— wanted to believe the overwhelming happiness she'd just experienced— was actually real. That the night they'd shared was the start of something new and wonderful. And not some horrible scheme to get her to cooperate-
Matt's expression gave nothing away. But when he tugged her close and kissed her, she felt a measure of uncertainty ease.
"The minute I saw you, I was attracted," he admitted. "I knew you were different, but I couldn't let myself believe it."
"Different how?" Suspicion still high, she wasn't letting him off the hook. A fleeting emotion crossed his face but disappeared before she could analyze it.
"Different— like I wanted to believe you. Despite all the evidence that was pushing me to doubt you-"
"You did doubt me," she reminded him. "Every step of the way."
His smile was chagrined. "Okay— you're right. I did," he admitted. "Because I've trained to be that way. What was different this time was . . . I didn't want to." Leaning in, his eyes radiated intensity. "I knew we would end up together," he said. "But I relied on having enough discipline to wait until the investigation was over."
Relief flooded her. "Then— what did you mean about me not dating?"
"Because . . . I don't want to share you." His words hung between them. But as she studied his solemn gaze, she could find no regret. "If there was another guy, he wouldn't be there long."
"You just overheard my life story," she reminded. "There's no guy."
"Babe, I'm all you need."
His slow, sexy smile ignited a spark in her belly. "You know this?"
A dimple winked in one cheek. "Trust me."
The epiphany hit without warning. "I do trust you," she whispered, her heart ricocheting with the revelation. As chaotic as the last week had been, there had been parts she'd actually enjoyed. . . and those moments revolved around Matt. He was solid and dependable and real. For the first time, Julie felt safe to be herself. . . to say what she was thinking, right when she felt it. Matt Barnes was so damned comfortable in his skin. He didn't seem to care what others thought. And that had given her permission to be more open. It was freeing.
"So, chill about what Tori said." He winked. "What's she really like?"
"Everyone loves her."
"We got that impression."
Embarrassed again, she blushed. "I meant that she's funny and gorgeous— dark hair, much smaller than me-"
"Just so we're completely clear," Matt interrupted. "I prefer seriously hot, green-eyed blondes who make it impossible not to think about her all day."
His words— and his expression made her smile.
"You two sound pretty tight. It wasn't weird. . . being your friend and then working for you? No jealousy?"
"Jealous of what?" When Matt dropped a kiss on her shoulder she shivered. "I can't help that my father owned the company."
"Some people might envy what you've achieved."
Julie sensed he was being cautious with his words. "All I've achieved is a workaholic lifestyle and a paralyzing tendency to doubt myself." She sighed. "You really think someone is framing me for the drug thing— out of spite?"
"This drug thing is making someone a pile of money," he reminded. "More likely they're protecting their investment."
"Well— it's not Tori. I'd stake my life on it."
"I'm not disagreeing."
His expr
ession didn't match his words, leaving her wondering. "I sense a 'but' coming."
"There's someone on the inside with the access to set you up— to make it look like you."
"Dandridge, right? Maybe a few of the board members? Obviously Griggs was involved— since he's dead." She held her breath. Would he finally open up to her? Matt hadn't confided a morsel of information he didn't want her to know. But now— they'd erased the boundaries between them. He claimed to care about her. Would he finally trust her?
"As soon as we know— you'll know." Matt had trouble holding her gaze. "Can you tell me about the shareholders?"
She shrugged. Two could play this game. "My dad viewed them as colleagues— as partners."
Meeting her defiant stare, Julie sensed he could read her thoughts. "How do you view them?"
"Old men who want a healthy dividend and no excuses." She didn't appreciate this one-sided feeling. She'd assumed— she'd hoped for more, especially now.
Matt tipped her chin up when she would have glanced away. "You don't always have to be strong, Jules. You're not alone."
Her emotions left her confused— drained. Instead of anger, Julie felt emptiness. Instead of joy over the knowledge she was falling in love with him— she experienced apprehension. More than most people— she knew life held no guarantees.
"I'm here," Matt gently reminded. "If you want to talk all night, I'm listening." Gazing down at her, his expression was shadowed.
Somehow his words made her feel worse. Matt was someone she could trust. But how far was she willing to go with a man who didn't trust her? Who didn't seem to trust anyone?
"Do you enjoy it? Or do you run KTec because it's what your father wanted?" Matt trailed a finger down her arm.
His voice reflected genuine curiosity rather than challenge. "I like it," she admitted. "Sometimes I wish I for a life. A family. But with the growth he . . . I want to achieve, I can't afford to slow down yet."
"What would you change?"
His question lit a slow, burning ache in her chest. She wanted— him. A relationship. She wanted a reason to come home every night. But if Matt suspected how appealing she found him, he'd use it against her.
Out of the Mist (Can't Help Falling Book 1) Page 21
