Bittersweet Truth (The Patricians Book 3)

by R. G. Angel

  His suction became firmer with every downwards stroke. He started to moan too, showing me he enjoyed my undoing almost as much as I did.

  He swished my cock inside his cheeks, getting it as deep into his throat as possible. My cock was completely inside his mouth, my thighs pressed up against his cheeks, his nose in my lap.

  My groans turned louder, my breathing more erratic. I closed my eyes as he firmly grabbed my dick with strong suctions while fondling my heavy sack.

  My balls began to draw closer to my thighs, a sign that my orgasm was imminent.

  "Oh...Gray...I'm gonna come soon. I can't hold it much longer..." I wished I could though; I never wanted this blowjob from heaven to end.

  He didn't answer me verbally; he just sucked me faster and made moaning noises as he prepared to finish me off.

  His pace and intensity grew with each trip up and down my cock.

  "Oh! Fuck! Ohhhhh!" The contractions began. My erection flexed. He focused his mouth and tongue intently on the head of my dick while tightening his grip around my balls.

  My explosion was an intense rush. He bobbed his head up and down quickly, swallowing spurt after spurt of hot cum as it shot down his throat. I grabbed his silky hair tightly, my orgasm so intense I just needed something to hold.

  Completely spent and drained, I collapsed back on the bed as he lovingly stroked my thighs, my cock still in his mouth.

  He slowly withdrew. Giving the head of my cock a soft, little kiss, he licked away the last remaining drops of fluid.

  I remained lying on the bed in a state of content I'd never experienced before.

  I was brought back to reality when a flash went off by my side. I turned to see Grayson's phone pointed at my face.

  “I never want to forget the way you look right at this moment.”

  I gave him a tired smile and let my eyes trail down to his pants, to the tent his dick was making.

  Readjusting myself, I struggled to sit, and then gestured him forward with my forefinger.

  He took a step closer, but no more. “This was about you tonight. I wanted to please you.”

  I shook my head. Hooking my finger in his belt hoop, I pulled him toward me so he was standing between my legs. “It’s not about me tonight. It’s about us,” I replied as I untied his sweats.

  I'd been sucked off hundreds of times, but had never once felt compelled to reciprocate. Until Grayson. Until the overwhelming pleasure he had given me. A pleasure I could never forget.

  I did to him all the things I enjoyed. His groans of pleasure made me feel powerful. Giving him pleasure almost made me hard again. I enjoyed pleasing him, much more than I’d ever expected.

  Once he came in my mouth and I swallowed every last drop of his pleasure, I pulled him onto the bed with me and he fell asleep in my arms.

  That was another first. A night shared with a man whom I'd just had sex with. I was glad it was with him though. I wanted all my future firsts to be with him. As his breathing deepened, I kissed his forehead.

  Another first was on the horizon - I was falling in love with Grayson Clay. Devastatingly. Irrevocably. Truly

  Chapter Six

  When I woke up the next morning, it took me a second to realize I was in Grayson’s room and not in Tay’s. Everything that we'd shared last night came rushing back and I shivered at the reminder of the earth shattering orgasm Grayson had given me.

  I turned in the bed, burying my head in his pillow and inhaling shamelessly

  His wooden scent was so intoxicating.

  A quick knock on the door brought me back to reality. “Ant, time to get up and pack. We need to leave in a few hours.”

  “I’m coming.” I sighed and sat up. At least I would not need to have the awkward conversation with her. She knew what had happened and disapproved, but for once I couldn't seem to care. When I walked to the door though, dread spread in the pit of my stomach. Grayson had left the bed without waking me... He hadn't come back to wake me... What if he regretted what we'd done?

  I stopped dead, locked in place, my hand around the doorknob.

  Just the thought of seeing regret in his eyes... I rubbed at my chest in a stupid attempt to ease the painful squeeze of my heart. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Come on, St-Vincent. You’re leaving anyway. How many guys have you left behind, huh? They all lived. You’ll live too.

  Will you? Unfortunately, I didn’t really buy my own bullshit this time. Grayson had changed me; he'd shown me a glimpse of what could be and the life I could lead, and that was enough to make me hurt.

  Another sharp knock got me out of my dark thoughts, and I opened the door to an exasperated Taylor. Her suitcase was already by the sofa and she was scowling at me. Calling her a schedule Nazi was an understatement. To be fair though, she didn’t know we didn’t have to catch the flight she'd booked.

  “Just let me grab a coffee and I'm yours to boss around, okay?” I offered, raising my hands in surrender.

  “Sure. We both know how good you are at listening to even the smallest of instructions.”

  Zing! That had hit a bullseye. The only thing she'd asked of me was to stay away from her roommate, and I'd broken that in less than a week.

  I gave her a sheepish smile, knowing only too well I’d fucked up - Well, no, I hadn't fuck up. She'd only assumed I had. For me, it had meant something.

  I walked into the kitchen where I found Grayson with a cup of coffee in his hands. Feeling insecure, I looked at the cup before looking at him. That was also a first. I’d never given much thought to the guys I'd slept with before.

  He smiled, extending me the cup as he rose, making the stronghold on my lungs ease. “She’s on a warpath. You’re going to need it.”

  “Thank you,” I said as I extended my hand for the cup.

  His smile widened a little. “I don't regret it.”

  Four words, fuck did I need to hear them.

  My shoulders relaxed as I let out a sigh of relief. “Me neither.”

  He leaned down and quickly pecked my lips. “I didn't think you would.” He took a couple of steps before turning around and looking at me thoughtfully. “Go, get ready and go home. Take some time to think about everything and then we can discuss - No pressure.”

  “I thought you didn’t do one-night stands?” I replied, taken aback by his coolness.

  He shrugged. “This one was worth it. See you soon, Antoine, and Merry Christmas.”

  I grinned when he exited the room. That blowjob? Best. Present. Ever!

  Taylor was annoyed for the rest of the morning. I knew that once we were on the plane, I would be at the end of one of her sermons, but even then I wouldn't care.

  Last night had been mind-blowing - sexually, sure, but also emotionally revealing. It had been so much more than sex, at least for me.

  “We’re going to be late,” Taylor grumbled as we sat in the taxi. “Heathrow is forty-five minutes away.”

  “We’re not going to Heathrow.” I leaned forward and gave the driver the name of the private airfield close to Oxford.

  Taylor raised a questioning eyebrow.

  “Astor offered to let us use the jet,” I replied with a shrug.

  “He offered?” She snorted. “Caleb Astor does not offer anything to anyone other than Esme.”

  Fair point. Caleb Astor was still the cold bastard he'd always been. The only difference was that he now had a weakness in the form of his fiancée Esme - someone he wanted to make happy even if he had to bleed for it.

  It was a love that gave me hope. If the Ice Prince could love and be loved…then I had a chance too.

  “Okay, fine. I asked.” Whined until he'd said yes to make me shut up was more like it, but there was no point loitering on that.

  She glared, but didn’t insist. She could deny it as much as she liked, but she was just as relieved as I.

  “I mean, you can’t deny it’s better than your commoner flight, right?” I said with a grin as we walked onto the majestic, whi
te and gold jet from Astor Corp. Two mimosas waited for us on the table.

  Taking the seat opposite me, Taylor shook her head. “Once again you didn’t listen though, did you?”

  I rested my head on the headrest with a weary sigh. “Here we go.”

  “Yes, here we go indeed.” She leaned forward in her seat. “I asked you for one thing - not to go after Grayson.”

  I took a long sip of my drink. I couldn’t deny that her rebuttal was now hurting my feelings.

  “We didn’t have sex.”

  She raised an eyebrow, not buying it for a minute.

  I shook my head. “We did stuff, but we didn’t have sex. And Grayson is an adult - He is a twenty-five year old man, okay? And he initiated our intimacy if you want to know. He knows the risk he is taking.”

  “Does he? Really?”

  I knew what she meant. If he’d known about my closeted situation, he never would have started anything with me, but I didn’t want him to see me as the coward I was - a boy too scared to lose his daddy’s money. “It’s different with him.”

  “Different how?”

  I shrugged. “Usually it’s only lust, me looking to get off, but it was different this time. I-” I looked down at my drink, watching the champagne bubbles make their way to the top. “I wanted to give him pleasure too. I wanted him to enjoy his time with me.” My ears heated with embarrassment. I was a clown, but I rarely opened up completely - even with Taylor. “I wanted to make sure there’d be an encore.”

  “I see….” She trailed off, detailing me as if she was seeing me for the first time in her life.

  I shook my head. “No, I don't think you do. For once, T, you’re making me feel like I’m not worthy. Like I don’t deserve someone like him and it hurts like a bitch for you to think that.”

  She jerked back on her seat as if I'd slapped her. “Why do you think that?”

  “Why? That man, Grayson, is amazing. He is boyfriend material and all you did was try to keep me at bay. What if I told you I’m more than what you see?”

  “I know that. I’ve always known that. I see you, Antoine. I've always seen you. I just don't think you can see yourself. I don’t want you messing up something that could be the love of a lifetime because you’re not ready.”

  “I know who I am. I've always known, T. What if I told you I was the one who'd called your father that night? I'd betrayed you and my new friends because I saw it in your eyes, a desperation that was on the verge of making you do something irreparable.”

  She paled and I knew I’d been right. All these years, I’d wondered if I had overreacted. It was clear now that I hadn’t. “How did you know?”

  “Because I saw that same desperation every morning in the mirror - thinking I didn't belong in my own life, in my own skin. So don't say I don't understand because I do, girl. I fucking do.”

  She reached over and grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry. You really like him, don’t you?”

  I nodded. “Too much.”

  She sighed. “It sucks because now you’ll have to make painful choices and I fear you’ll get hurt no matter what.”

  “I know.” I finished my drink in one go and gestured to the hostess for a refill; it was Christmas after all.

  I knew Taylor was right. I could never have a real and meaningful relationship with Grayson with the life I led, the secret I kept. And yet, I could almost imagine a future with him.

  “I won’t break his heart.”

  “It’s not only his heart I’m worried about. Your heart is precious too.”

  I looked away because no matter how much I wanted to tell her that my heart was safe, I couldn’t. That man had gotten under my skin in a way I almost didn’t mind. I would let him burn me inside out if it meant I got to be with him again.

  Yep, I was truly fucked. Merry fucking Christmas indeed.

  Chapter Seven

  I threw my satchel onto the sofa with a smile. Even my shitty Wednesday classes couldn’t get me down, not today.

  I put some order into my hair and then opened my MacBook on the kitchen bar for my scheduled call with Grayson.

  When I'd left Oxford almost two months ago, I was not sure what would happen between Grayson and I. I hadn't known whether we would just fizzle out or if we'd turn into something more.

  Despite my feelings, I'd almost expected him to fade into the background of my mind. Far from the eyes, far from the heart, as we said in France or how the English said it, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.'

  But that hadn't happened. He’d been the first person I'd texted on Christmas morning and again on New Years day.

  We'd then started chatting online. I enjoyed talking to him. I'd often found myself choosing to spend time bantering with him rather than partying, which was quite scary to accept, especially since I hadn't sought sexual release with any other guy since our night together.

  I mean, my fucking hand was covered in callouses now due to all the time I'd beaten Colossus with Grayson on my mind. But I wanted to give this celibacy a try even though he’d never requested it.

  At the sound of the Skype ringtone, I sat straighter. I checked my hair one more time before answering the call.

  “Hey!” I smiled widely as I always did when seeing his handsome face. Yep, I have it bad.

  But seeing his face transform with the same glee made that realization seem like a good thing.

  “She’s going to kill you, you know,” he said, but the laughter in his voice weakened the threat.

  “You didn’t tell her, did you?”

  He snorted, raising his hands in surrender. “I don’t have a death wish.”

  I shrugged. “It’s for her own good. She needs to move on and she won’t until she meets someone nice.”

  “And you think that creating her a dating profile on Tinder will help?”

  I shrugged. “It won’t hurt.”

  He chuckled. “How fun it must be to be you.”

  I grinned. If only he knew that being in my head was more a curse than anything.

  “Talking about being me, I, ummm….” I was lucky he couldn't see my fingers tapping nervously against the anthracite Italian granite of the breakfast bar. “I found a great deal on Groupon for a weekend in Prague and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.” There was no deal on Groupon. It was actually a weekend I'd spent over $3000 organizing.

  “Is someone missing me?” he teased.

  “Well….I wouldn’t go that far.” But fuck I did. This was the longest I’d pinned over someone - ever.

  “When are you thinking?”

  I thanked the gods that he didn’t say no straight away. We had not really talked about what had happened between us back in Oxford and I didn't know where we stood or where I even wanted us to stand. “Next Thursday?”

  He looked away as he thought and grimaced. “Fuck, I can’t. I’m going to Rome on Wednesday.”

  “Oh, what for?” And why didn’t you tell me? Maybe I can go to Rome with you....

  He shrugged and despite the bad quality of his internet connection, I could see him redden.

  “Well, I'm looking for a patronage to finish my DPhil project. I applied to a few programs, but I guess that only needing six months’ patronage and on the topic of my choosing doesn’t really attract many patrons.”

  “I see.” He didn't know how much I knew. We dealt with thousands of applications every year at the Saint Academy, so I knew just how hard it was for someone to get a patronage.

  “Anyway, there’s this Italian guy that came to one of my expositions last year and he was kind enough to offer to accommodate me. He really believes in my talent.”

  “Oh, yeah, that’s neat! What’s his name?” Please don’t say Guilio Conti. Please don’t say Guilio Conti.

  “Guilio Conti.”

  Fuck. Me. Sideways.

  He laughed. “That’s an odd question. Are you an art expert now?”

  “Just curious so I can google him and see how pretty he is.” He was
not pretty, but he was a fucking pervert - only offering contracts to young artists so he could take them to bed. There were even rumors that if they weren't willing, he'd help them 'relax' by using drugs.

  A wave of rage engulfed me at the thought of Grayson at Villa Conti. Over my dead body.

  “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, his brows furrowing. “You’re not mad about the trip, right? I can try to move it if you -”

  “No, it’s okay.” My voice was clipped, but I couldn’t help it. I was too angry. I knew it was not fair on Grayson. Actually, it warmed my heart that he was willing to move something he considered crucial just to please me, but the feeling of dread in my stomach at having him at Villa Conti overshadowed everything. “I have to go for now. I'll talk to you later.”

  He jerked back as if I’d hit him. “Antoine, talk to me. How about I come see you this weekend?”

  I stopped dead. He was worried. Really worried about me - us. Slowly, my anger faded, replaced by tenderness. I smiled back at him. I would like nothing more than to have him here with me this weekend, but how could I justify living in an apartment that costs over three million euros? “No. I promise I’m okay. I will move the dates around. I'm sure it’s okay, but if not, I’ll take Tay. I’ve just forgotten I’d agreed to go to a study session and they already think I’m a flake, so...”

  He looked at me silently, the furrow between his brows still present.

  I sighed. “I miss you,” I admitted. It had cost me a lot to say that, to let some of my guard down. But as his face morphed from worry to joy in an instant, I knew it’d been worth it.

  “For what it’s worth, I miss you too.”

  “I know.” No, I hadn’t known, but I’d hoped

  I'd hoped that our night together was as meaningful to him as it was to me.

  I sighed. Stupid Conti spoiling my plans. “I really have to go now, but do you want to talk later?”

  “Of course. I’ll be home.”

  “In your room?” I trailed off as my smile turned predatory.

  He winked. “Of course.”

  My dick twitched at the thought. We might have been connecting on a more emotional level during our chats, but we were also full-blooded men and terribly attracted to each other. We’d had webcam sex a few times since Christmas… Unfortunately my hand would never be able to compete with Grayson's warm mouth and skilled tongue, but I’d had no other choice as neither of our schedules had allowed us to meet again.