The Secret Baby

by Harper, Leddy

  Except for the whole having-Aaron’s-baby thing.

  Oh, and Mom fawning all over me—though it seemed my having a baby only made her play matchmaker even harder than before.

  I didn’t even bother to get off the couch when Tatum opened the front door. She’d always just walked in before, so there was no reason to change things now. Not to mention, I was elbow deep in mint chocolate chip, and at this juncture, nothing was worth putting the ice cream scoop down.

  “Really?” She waved her hand around the room, closing the door behind her. It wasn’t often my apartment was a mess, but when it was, Tatum was the last person I wanted to see it this way. She was probably calling me a hypocrite to herself. “This is how you solve your problems? Feet on the coffee table, reality TV on the screen, and a tub of ice cream in your lap?”

  “Is there a better way?”

  “Yeah . . . it’s called get off your ass and do something about it.”

  “What am I supposed to do about it, Tater?” I sat up, though I didn’t put the giant spoon down. That would not leave my hand anytime soon. “Please, tell me, because it’s pretty apparent that I can’t make decisions for myself these days. I swear, this baby is making me irrational and stupid.”

  She slowly lowered herself onto the cushion next to me. “Kels . . . put down the spoon and move away from the carton. Everything will be all right. I promise. But nothing will get solved with ice cream and a stained . . . is that a Justin Bieber T-shirt?”

  I swung a small couch pillow at her and laughed. Damn, it did feel good to feel the rumbles reverberate through my chest and the heat of the smile strain my cheeks. After today, after the ups and downs at my parents’ house, I hadn’t been sure when I’d experience that again.

  “I messed up, okay?” Just because I’d decided to talk did not mean I’d give up my mint chocolate chip. “There’s nothing I can do to fix any of this. If there was, I would’ve done it already. This isn’t how I imagined any of this would go. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Well, considering you’ve left me out of most of this loop, why don’t you start from the beginning?”

  I gave her a side-eye while scooping another spoonful into my mouth. “The only part of the loop I didn’t fill in for you is that Aaron’s the father. Other than that one piece of information, you know everything.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about Aaron?”

  “At the time, I had no idea.”

  “You’re seriously gonna have to start from the beginning. So you brought the stripper home the night of my bachelorette party. That’s when you got pregnant . . . right?” Tatum waited for my nod before continuing. “That phone call in the hotel, right before we headed downstairs for the rehearsal . . . was that real? Or did you already know at that point?”

  “The phone call was real. I didn’t know who he was until a few minutes later when I got to the elevators—when you were doing what you were doing in Jason’s room. In fact . . . I didn’t know that was Aaron until you showed up and mentioned it. I just thought I’d randomly run into the stripper that I was looking for, not at all realizing who he really was.”

  “And how did he end up the stripper at my party?”

  I shrugged and fought hard to keep the smile off my face. It wasn’t funny. Shouldn’t have been funny. Yet the irony got to me every time. “Our guy never showed up . . . as you know. So I guess someone who works at Boots, one of Aaron’s friends, called him to fill in—except he didn’t know what he was filling in for. I’d asked for a doctor, and apparently, since Aaron’s a doctor, she thought he would be a good stand-in. It didn’t hurt that he has a hard time getting women, and we were a group of drunk women . . . stone, meet two birds.”

  Out of everything I’d just said, the one thing she picked up on was Aaron’s inability to get a date. “What do you mean, he has a hard time getting women? That man is with someone new every time I turn around. It’s why we never meet them, because they—” Her mouth fell open, eyes wide with realization. “That little sneak.”

  “Let me guess . . . he makes it seem like he’s a ladies’ man?”

  “Oh yeah. Big-time. I never would’ve guessed. Although . . . Jay has always made a joke of it. I don’t think he’s ever believed Aaron when he talks about his conquests. I’m pretty sure he just plays along.”

  Yup. This bloodsucking fetus inside me had officially made me lose my mind, because the thought of Aaron lying to his friends about being a player when the truth was far from it made me fall for him even harder. It made me think of a little boy, alone on the playground, watching everyone around him have fun. And that only fueled the hurt I already felt for him, for all I’d done to him, kept from him, accused him of.

  “But still . . .” It seemed Tatum had spent too long with my sister, because she’d adopted Marlena’s way of beating the same thing to death. “Why didn’t you tell me after you found out? You continued to let me think you were having a stripper’s baby.”

  With my eyes closed, I rested my head on the back of the cushion and blew out a long sigh. “Because I knew there would be no way you’d keep that from Jason. And if Jason knew, he’d tell Aaron. I wasn’t ready for that to happen yet. Granted, I guess that backfired, huh?”

  She placed her hand on my knee and waited until I opened my eyes and met her stare before saying anything. “I’m sure he’ll come around. He just needs to sort through it. The only thing you can do is prove to him that your heart was in the right place. Be honest with him, Kels.”

  “I don’t know how to do that.” The best way to keep people from knowing that you’re crying is to shove more ice cream into your mouth. You can always say that the tears in your eyes are from the brain freeze. Foolproof excuse.

  “Go to him. Tell him how you feel.”

  “Been there. Done that.”

  “Did he not listen?”

  I needed to put the carton away before it leaked through the cardboard and drenched my perfectly good shirt in melted ice cream. But I didn’t want to be too far away from it in case I needed more, so I chose to put it on the coffee table instead. That was about as far as I could go.

  “I fucked up. Okay? The night of your dinner, we slept together. I told you about it, just didn’t tell you who it was. Anyway, the next day, I went to tell him about the baby.”

  “Yes, I recall. This was the first time, right? When you caught him having sex with someone else?” At least she retained the things I told her. That was a plus. Kept me from having to repeat myself.

  “Correct. Except he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else. In fact . . . he wasn’t even there. Long story short, his assistant, Noel, is a freak—and I mean that in the really good way. She and her husband were getting it on in his office while he was at the hospital for some consulting thing. I’m not entirely sure what he was doing, since his job still doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. But that’s not the point.”

  “Then get to the point, Kels. I’m growing grey hairs over here.”

  Arching just one brow, I glared at her, then gave up when she laughed. At me . . . not with me, because I wasn’t laughing. “The point, which you’re so eager to hear, is that when he came home that night—completely unaware of what had taken place at his office earlier that day—I shut him out and basically accused him of being no different than my ex.”

  “The prick? Ew. That’s gotta be the dirtiest insult ever.”

  “Yes. And he didn’t even fully understand it at the time.” My chest tightened as I recounted all the ways I’d hurt that poor boy on the playground. “He tried for, like, a week and a half to break down my walls, but I refused to let him. In the end, I was wrong. Clearly. And when I went Thursday night to tell him everything, we got caught up in our feelings for each other, so I never got the words out.”

  “What do you mean . . . your feelings?”

  I shrugged and stared at my fingers twisted together in my lap, sticky from ice cream. “I think I’m in love with him.”


  Silence.

  When Tatum was nervous, you couldn’t shut her up with a mute button. But when she was stunned, it was like someone had stolen all the words from her pretty little head. Too bad there wasn’t a balance in between.

  “Say something, Tater,” I pleaded, finally giving in and looking into her eyes so she could see the desperation in mine. “I’ve needed my best friend for weeks, but I haven’t been able to go to her because of the hole I dug myself. It just kept getting deeper and deeper, and now I’m suffocating in it.”

  She finally snapped out of it and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me to her. “One of these days, we’ll learn to stop keeping things from the other person. Trust me . . . I know all too well how lonely it is to live with a secret you can’t share with your bestie.”

  I sniffled and wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”

  “You never know.” She took a deep breath and leaned away a little bit, which meant she didn’t believe her own words. “Aaron’s a really great guy. I never would’ve asked you to let him move in if I thought differently.”

  Laughter curled my lips. “You just got done telling me how you thought he was a player.”

  “That doesn’t mean he can’t be a good person.” She waved me off and rolled her eyes. It was like old times all over again. “And if I’m being honest, I thought the whole womanizer thing would prevent you from sleeping with him. I know how you feel about players.”

  “Yeah, well . . . that might’ve worked before I slept with him.”

  “You mean before you got pregnant.”

  “Same thing.” Not really. Aaron had to be the most skilled lover I’d ever been with. Pregnant or not, there was a good chance I would’ve found myself tangled up in his sheets again—even if he were an avid collector of bedpost notches. “But you’re right. He is a good person. Unfortunately, it took me too long to be as open and honest with him as he’s been with me, and now he’s gone.”

  “He’s not gone, Kels.”

  “Yeah, he is. He’s not even staying here. He’s sleeping on an air mattress on the floor of his office. He’d rather take showers at the gym every morning than stay here. I’ve lost him.”

  The only sound in the room was Tatum’s deep inhalation, which she held for longer than usual. “He’s seriously living in his office?”

  “Waiting room floor, but same thing.”

  “Does anyone else know?” Concern stuck to her voice like cement, weighing it down.

  I shook my head, yet I decided to give her more than that. “I don’t think so. He gets up early so he can be out and have the chairs all moved back before Noel shows up in the mornings. I couldn’t begin to guess if he’s told anyone else.”

  “Why didn’t he ask any of his friends to stay with them? We have a spare room he could’ve stayed in until the sale of his house goes through.”

  I glared at her. “Really, Tatum? If he had gone to Jason, he’d have to explain why he’s not staying here anymore. Even before he found out about the baby, what was he supposed to tell him? That we slept together and then I turned on him? Um, no.”

  “Hmm . . .” She quirked her mouth to the side in thought. “You’re right. Jay probably would’ve killed him.”

  “That’s a little hypocritical, don’t ya think, Tater? Jason, my cousin, worried about his best friend sleeping with me? When . . . oh, that’s right, Jason, my cousin, had no problem at all sleeping with you . . . my best friend.”

  “It’s not the same.”

  “Oh, it’s exactly the same.”

  “Fine. It’s literally identical. Except for the part about you getting pregnant after a one-night stand with his best friend, prior to you knowing he was your cousin’s best friend. And then him moving in with you, where you continued to have sex with him while keeping it from him that you were carrying his baby. That’s nothing like what happened with Jay and me.”

  I blinked a few times, wondering how she’d managed to get one up on me. That never happened. It was a sure sign of the apocalypse. Too bad I’d never taken those prepper shows seriously. I could’ve used a buried school bus and a massive stash of astronaut food right about now. “Let’s go back to my cousin, the hypocrite, shall we?”

  “No . . . we shall go back to you fixing things with Aaron.”

  All humor died on my lips. “I don’t know how, Tatum.”

  “I have an idea. But it won’t happen overnight. Are you willing to put in the time?”

  “Of course. We’re going to be tied together for at least the next eighteen years. All I have is time at this point.” I realized at that moment how badly I didn’t want to only be tied to him due to having a child together. I wanted more. With him.

  “All right. This is what you need to do . . .”

  Chapter 20

  Aaron

  I flung the office door open, expecting to find Kelsey, but I found Jason instead.

  As if seeing him and his entire family earlier today wasn’t enough.

  “What is with everyone coming to my office at almost midnight and waking me up? Don’t you know there are plenty of daylight hours you could use to talk to me? Oh, and a phone? You should try that next time.”

  “I did, asshole.” He pushed past me and invited himself in—just like Kelsey had. If he thought we’d cuddle on my mattress, too, then he needed to think again. “You didn’t answer, which left me no choice but to come here.”

  “If I didn’t answer, there’s probably a good reason for that. Like, maybe I was . . . sleeping?”

  Thank God he chose to take a seat in one of the chairs instead of on my mattress. Things had already gotten weird between us earlier today at the Petersons’ house. I wasn’t sure how much worse they could get, and I wasn’t in the mood to find out.

  I stood in front of him with my arms crossed over my chest—at least I’d had the forethought before lying down to put a shirt on. Didn’t need him gawking at my body the way Kelsey had. And it would be lovely if I stopped comparing Jason to Kelsey. Or better yet . . . just stopped thinking of Kelsey.

  Yeah . . . I doubted that would happen anytime soon.

  Or ever.

  “What do you want, Jason? Didn’t you say enough this morning in your aunt’s driveway?” I couldn’t take another verbal beating from him. The things that guy could come up with at the drop of a dime would likely make a hitman shit himself. Okay . . . maybe not that bad, but hearing my best friend call me a fucking piece of shit wasn’t the highlight of my day. Or week.

  Jason leaned forward and covered his face with his hands, a long, dramatic exhale rushing out. “Listen, man . . . I’m sorry about that. Okay?” He met my stare, and I couldn’t miss the honesty that reflected back at me. “It’s one thing to find out you’ve been sleeping with my cousin after you adamantly swore you wouldn’t, but it’s another to find out you got her pregnant.”

  “I don’t mean to poke the bear, but do you really have room to point fingers at me?”

  He shook his head, and I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn’t pissed him off. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop him from glaring at me while conceding. “No, not really. Which is another reason I shouldn’t have come at you earlier. It caught me by surprise, and to make it all worse, I had the unfortunate knowledge of hearing the things you’ve said about her, not knowing it was her. So forgive me if I lost my shit for a second. I’m sorry.”

  Well, I couldn’t really ask for much more than that. “You’re forgiven. But is that really the reason you came here? At”—I checked my watch and groaned—“eleven thirty at night. My God. Do you people not care that I have to work in the morning? And that I have to get up even earlier to make this place look like I haven’t used it as my bedroom for the last week and a half?”

  Jason stood and took two steps, stopping when he was a couple of feet away, his hands deep in his front pockets. “Come stay at my place. There’s no reason you should be sleeping on the floor.”

 
“It’s not on the floor, in case you can’t tell. I have a mattress.”

  “Yeah, filled with air.”

  “What’s wrong with that? Remember when waterbeds were the big thing? Well, watch out, bro, because air will be the next craze. And you’ll be jealous of what I have.”

  He couldn’t fight back his grin, and I’d never been happier to see another man smile in my life. Guys were easy—if they were pissed, they’d tell you; you’d hash it out, and then it was water under the bridge, never to be spoken of or remembered again. However, the exception to that was when you did something to someone they cared about. Fuck with a family member they actually liked—or creep up on his woman—and your ass was grass. Luckily, Jason knew me well enough to understand the complex situation we’d found ourselves in. He’d had his moment and flipped the fuck out, and we’d moved on. I only hoped this meant it’d never be brought up again. Or remembered.

  “Get your shit, asshole, and let’s go. Tatum has the spare room made up for you.”

  “How’d you even know I was here?”

  He shrugged and cocked his head. “Kelsey.”

  “Is it too early to say anything about her big mouth?” I pretended the punch to my shoulder didn’t hurt, when really, I’d be surprised if I could move it tomorrow. “Got it. Good to know. I’ll keep those thoughts to myself until the time’s right.”

  “Dude . . . the time will never be right.” His words were harsh, his voice low with impending rage, yet the slight uptick in the corners of his mouth proved that, beneath it all, we’d be all right.

  “Does this kinda make us related?”

  “Not at all.”

  “I think it does. Our kids are going to be cousins.”

  “Third cousins or something ridiculous like that.”

  “So does that make us cousins-in-law thrice removed? Got a catchy ring to it.”