The Secret Baby

by Harper, Leddy

  My stomach twisted into knots, and then those knots twisted into more with each step I took from the front door to the man in front of me. This had to be a dream . . . or a trap. I’d barely spoken to Aaron in weeks, and now, he waited for me in the middle of a room, gaze glued to me like he wanted to pour every thought, every emotion, every want and desire, into that one stare in the hopes I’d read and understand them.

  However, as soon as I came to a stop less than three feet away, my fear overrode all other emotion and flipped me on my head. I held out the envelope that had come to the apartment addressed to him. My tongue wouldn’t form words. My chest wouldn’t expand to pull more air into my lungs. And my knees were on the verge of giving up, threatening to make me fall to the floor at his feet. But luckily, none of that happened before he could say, “Open the letter, Kelsey.”

  “It’s your mail, though.”

  “Open it,” he repeated, more sternly this time.

  I hesitated, hoping my thoughts would settle on something coherent to say. In the end, I went with, “If you wanted me to read your mail, why make me come all the way here? You could’ve just asked me to do that the other day when I told you about it in the first place.”

  Rather than issue more demands or argue back, he lunged toward me, held my cheeks in his hands, and without pause covered my mouth with his lips. It was intense yet short lived. Although, even when he pulled his face from mine, he never dropped his hands or shifted his attention away from my eyes. “Kelsey, please open the letter.”

  As if I couldn’t think on my own, I did as he said, not bothering to look at what I was doing as I slid my finger beneath the flap and tore through the envelope. It wasn’t until he took a step backward, giving me space to focus on the letter in my hand, that I dropped my chin and unfolded the piece of paper that had been neatly tucked inside.

  If you want to know what gender our baby is, open the double doors.

  I flipped the paper over, looking for more instructions, as if the one sentence printed on the front wasn’t enough. But as soon as I stopped questioning it and met his stare once more, peace washed over me. It stirred through my body, coursed through my veins, and took control of my every movement, starting with my feet. It was like I wasn’t in control of my actions and had no defense against each step I took toward the room behind the French doors just off the entryway. When I’d pointed out this house to Aaron, this room had been a selling point—the perfect space for a home office. I’d also mentioned its use as a baby’s room in the event I ever found the courage to let him know about ours.

  Standing in front of the double doors, I closed my eyes and took a long, deep breath. I wasn’t sure if I should turn the handle and find out the sex of my baby, or back away and leave. Most of that confusion came from the uncertainty of his reasons. He’d had days to tell me what we were having, yet he never had. He could’ve called, come over, sent a text. But still, he hadn’t done any of those things. Instead, he’d waited for me to come to him, as if this were no big deal.

  Just as I fisted my hands at my sides, the sound of crinkling paper caught my attention. It yanked me out of the twisted, insecure thoughts enough to remind me why I was here in the first place. Why I stood in front of these doors. It brought to mind his kiss, the lingering tingle on my lips left behind from his.

  He hadn’t waited for me to come to him.

  He’d orchestrated the whole thing.

  And once I realized that, I no longer cared that I hadn’t received a phone call or text, or that he hadn’t reached out to tell me what we were having. If this was the way he wanted to tell me—to show me—then I had to be the luckiest girl in the world.

  Heat covered my back like a warm blanket on a cold night. And when I glanced over my shoulder, I found him behind me, practically molding his body to mine. “Do you want to know?” he asked in my ear, and the second I nodded, he opened the door.

  I gasped and covered my lips at the sight of the pastel walls. Instantly, the room blurred beyond my tears, so I turned to face him, meeting his eyes, holding his stare. Needing to see his face, his reaction, his emotion.

  “I didn’t get any furniture,” he started, as if that had even been a thought in my head. “I was hoping we could go together to pick it out. But only under one condition.”

  I nodded . . . then shook my head. Then I nodded again. “What condition?” I managed to get out past the knot in my throat.

  “That we only buy one crib. One dresser. One set of clothes.” He took my hands in his and lowered his head to bring his eyes closer to mine. “I don’t want two houses—this one and your apartment. Only one. And preferably this one since I just bought it. I don’t want shared custody or rotating weekends.”

  I stood motionless while his every word hit my ears, breathed life into my heart, and etched itself into my soul, where no one and nothing could ever take them from me.

  “I want you . . . here. With me. For me.” He lowered his lips to mine, but he kept the tiniest space between them as he continued to whisper the most beautiful promises I’d ever heard. “I fucked up, Kelsey. I blamed you for not giving me a chance, yet I did the same to you. Do you think we can start over?”

  I nodded and closed my eyes, my breath passing through my lips only to heat my face as it blossomed between us.

  He captured my cheeks in his hands and tilted my head back, forcing me to look at him again. With a smile that shone through his entire expression, he said, “We’re having a baby girl.”

  I didn’t waste a single second molding myself to him. And he didn’t try to stop me. In fact, his hands and mouth were as frantic as mine as we tore at each other’s clothes, needing to be closer. Needing to put the final pieces of ourselves back together . . . as one.

  This time, when he kissed my bare stomach, whispering secret devotions to our daughter, I didn’t have to pretend it was real. When he looked me in the eyes and told me he loved me, I didn’t have to try to convince myself that he saw me—I knew without a doubt that he didn’t see anyone else. And after it was all over, I had my ear pressed to his chest, listening to the beating heart of the man I loved.

  “You really want me to move in with you?” I whispered as he held me against him.

  “For now.”

  I pushed up on my elbow and stared down at him, waiting for him to explain more. When he didn’t, I asked, “What’s that supposed to mean? Like, you only want to live with me for a little while?”

  “I never said that.”

  “You said for now.”

  “Yeah, because at some point, I’ll want more.” Sensing my shock, he fingered my hair out of my face and tucked the strands behind my ear. “I’ll want you to take my last name. After that, I may want you to give me a son. Or another daughter. Or both. And then, when you think I couldn’t possibly want more . . . I’ll want to grow old with you.”

  My eyes burned from the tears that begged to be released.

  He swiped one finger beneath my lashes, catching the lone drop of emotion that I hadn’t been able to fight off, and said, “But I know that will take time. I’m well aware that you’re only here because of some malfunction with the condom. You weren’t given the choice. I just hope that, in time, you won’t feel like you want a choice anymore, and the only thing you’ll desire is to be my wife. My partner. Till death do us part.”

  I leaned over him and grazed his lips with mine. “I’ve always heard about people being blinded by love. But really, I think most of us are blinded by the pain of something we perceived as love, when it was never really love at all. And that keeps us from seeing what we need, who we need. That’s when the choice is taken from us and decided by something greater—something that knows what we need more than we do.”

  “That sounds about right.”

  “I’ve always wanted a family, but after having my heart shattered and my dreams destroyed, I stopped believing in the picture. Everything felt like a lie. The idea of marriage and kids no longer seem
ed like a happy one, but instead one full of pain and uncertainty. It wasn’t until you came along that I realized just how wrong that theory was. You make me happy, Aaron. I think I would’ve fallen for you even if you hadn’t knocked me up while pretending I was someone else.”

  “Kelsey . . . I’ve never pretended you were anyone else.”

  My brow tightened as I regarded him with unspoken curiosity.

  “I may not have known your name at the time, or known who you were—hell, I didn’t know a single thing about you. But that didn’t mean I wished you were someone else. The only thing I pretended that night was that you saw me for me, and that we loved each other.”

  “Then I guess you got your wish, huh?”

  “I’m not sure. Did I?”

  “Well, yeah . . . I see you for you.”

  “And?” No matter how hard he fought against it, his lips twitched with a hidden smile.

  “And you love me.” Laughter tore through my chest as he flipped me over, landing on top of me while holding himself up with one hand and tickling my side with the other. Barely able to breathe through the bursts of happiness that invaded my soul, I added, “And I love you, too.”

  His fingers immediately left my side, just as his mouth closed over mine in the most possessive kiss I’d ever experienced. And in the blink of an eye, the dominant side of him returned, warmed by the protective side and softened by his inner teddy bear.

  He situated himself between my thighs, lifted my arms over my head, and pinned my wrists to the carpet beneath us. The entire time, he kept his eyes on mine. And as he moved into me, owning me, claiming me, there wasn’t a single ounce of my being that questioned his love for me. I only prayed he could feel the same thing from me.

  My orgasm climbed higher and higher, and as he tumbled off the cliff with me, he tattooed the words I love you against my shoulder with his teeth. And once I had calmed down enough to speak, I whispered, “Yes.”

  “Yes, what?” Confusion deepened his green eyes.

  “Yes, I’ll move in. Under one condition, though.”

  A coy grin tipped one side of his mouth. “What condition might that be?”

  “You don’t wait for someday to ask me to marry you.”

  “Are you saying you want me to ask you now?”

  “I’m saying I’m ready when you are.”

  “I would just like to point out that I think it’s utter crap that you trusted Rebecca with the sex of your baby and not me. She used to date your ex-fiancé . . . I’m your best friend.” I lifted my middle finger in Tatum’s face.

  “Which is why Jason wouldn’t let you be the secret keeper. He knew you’d give it away somehow.” She made a good point—as did Jason. “Plus, we needed someone who could bake. I love you, Kels, but that’s not you. Look at the bright side, though . . . we get to find out at the same time.”

  “Yeah . . . as does literally everyone else in the room. Way to make me feel special, Tater.”

  “Be happy you get to find out at all.” That was a cheap shot, referring to the fact that Aaron and I had agreed to keep our own secrets for a while. After keeping things from each other so long, we’d decided to have a few secrets that no one else knew about—such as our baby being a girl.

  I rolled my eyes and stuck the spoons into the various dips on the snack table. “I still think you should’ve gone with one of my ideas. Cutting into a cake is so anticlimactic.”

  “Every suggestion you came up with involved a mess.”

  “I don’t know why you’re complaining about that . . . you’re a walking, talking mess just waiting to happen.” I’d suggested the guests shoot them with paintballs colored either blue or pink, but then she’d pointed out that might hurt, so I’d compromised with Silly String. To which she’d given me an adamant no. After that, I’d gone with a few tamer ideas, like glitter bombs, fairy-dust explosions, confetti showers. Yet she’d turned them all down, using the ridiculous excuse that they’d make too much of a mess, and in the end, she’d gone with some stupid cake idea.

  So lame.

  “When you decide to reveal what you’re having, you can do it any which way you want. Unfortunately for you, this is my party, and I want a damn cake.”

  “Here . . . let me cut you a piece.” I almost had the knife to the frosting before she yanked my arm away, realizing what I was about to do. “What was that for? You said you wanted cake!”

  “Aaron!” she yelled over her shoulder. “Come get your baby mama.”

  A few seconds later, the sexiest pair of arms came up from behind me, wrapping themselves around my growing waist. A strong chest pressed against my back at the same time his heated breath hit my ear, filling it with the deep rumbles of his intoxicating voice. “I can’t wait for the day that I get to hear her call you my wife.”

  I turned in his arms and locked mine around his neck, lifting myself onto my tiptoes to whisper, “I guess you’ll just have to settle for hearing me call myself your wife for now. I’m not ready to let anyone in our bubble just yet.”

  “You do realize they’ll all be pissed at us when they find out that we went off and got married yesterday behind everyone’s backs, don’t you? Are you prepared for that?”

  I pulled away just enough to stare at him with wide eyes. “Are you trying to say you want to tell them?”

  “Nope. Just making sure you won’t regret it.”

  “I ordered a stripper to help me feel better after seeing my ex and then took him home and let him have his way with me. Then I moved the stripper, who turned out not to be a stripper, into my place and—once again—let him have his way with me. All of which has led us here . . . married, pregnant, and happy. Aaron, there’s not a single bit of any of that worth regretting. And the one thing I do regret more than anything else is already water under the bridge. So stop worrying about me.”

  “Get a room, you two,” Jason said as he came up behind Aaron, slapping him on the shoulder. “Just not one of mine.”

  Aaron pulled away with laughter curling his lips and brightening his eyes. Happiness was a good look on him. And I’d do anything to keep it written all over his face.

  Tatum sidled up next to me once the guys walked out back. Now, it was only the two of us in front of the kitchen table, surrounded by snacks and a cake that held the day’s biggest surprise. She looked at me, and I looked at her, and without a single word spoken between us, we both knew what the other was thinking.

  “I’m pretty sure if you stick a toothpick into the bottom, no one will ever know.”

  “That only works if the cake isn’t done. Thank God I didn’t leave the baking up to you.”

  I elbowed her and frowned. “Then how are we supposed to see what color the inside is?”

  “I guess we wait until it’s time to cut into it.”

  “Or . . .” I grabbed a plastic fork from the tray and stuck the very bottom of the cake in the back. “Oops. I accidentally fell into it with this here fork, and oh . . . look, it’s—” I peeked at the small crumbs of cake that stuck to the frosting. “Oh my God, Tatum. You’re having a boy!”

  “Really?” Her dark eyes grew wide, glistening with excitement and surprise. “A boy?”

  “How exciting is this? Too bad our kids will be somewhat related; otherwise, they could’ve gotten married.” I was so happy for my best friend that I didn’t once think about the words that came out of my mouth.

  She froze midclap and dropped her mouth open. “Wait. You’re having a girl?”

  “It’s crazy, right?”

  “How could you keep that from me?”

  As soon as I saw her eyes water, mine followed suit. “Trust me, it wasn’t nearly as hard as keeping the wedding a secret.”

  “You’re getting married?”

  I shook my head, relieved that I finally got to tell Tatum the most exciting news of my life. “No. We already did. We went to the courthouse yesterday.”

  She jumped and wrapped her arms around me, both of us caug
ht up in the extreme levels of happiness that poured from our eyes. Even when Jason and Aaron returned from the backyard, we still didn’t separate.

  “What’s going on in here?” Jason asked, speaking over Aaron’s concerned question of, “Is everything okay?”

  Tatum sniffled and pulled away only enough to turn her head so that we were both looking at the guys. And like them, we spoke at the same time. While she said, “They got married at the courthouse yesterday and didn’t tell anyone,” I announced, “You’re having a boy.”

  When the guys started to speak over each other again, my mother showed up out of nowhere and moved between the four of us, becoming the center of our circle. “One at a time. I can’t possibly keep up when you’re all talking over each other.”

  Apparently, Jason got to speak first. “They cut into the cake and found out what we’re having before the reveal.”

  “I didn’t do anything.” Tatum held up her hands in defense. “That was all Kelsey.”

  Ignoring my mom’s glare, I shrugged and said, “I tripped, and the fork I had in my hand accidentally nicked the bottom of it. There was no cutting. You all should be happy that I didn’t fall over and hurt the defenseless unborn child in my belly.”

  “Wait one minute here.” Mom glanced between all of us before bringing her attention back to me. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

  “Girl,” I answered, once again not contemplating the words that came out of my mouth.

  Baby brain was a real thing.

  And it made me stupid.

  But I was with child . . . so it was excused.

  Mom clapped and turned to Tatum. “You’re having a girl?”

  “No.” Tatum pointed to me. “She is.”

  My mother’s tears nearly gutted me, but the smile on her face brought me back to life. “I’m going to have a granddaughter?”