Lexi's Heart

by Delia Latham

  Mama kept talking, unaware of Lexi’s startled reaction. “He’ll never shove His way into your heart and life, but if you’ll ask Him to, He’ll make your whole world brand new, and that includes your battered heart, sweet girl. He’ll give you a new one—one that can trust enough to give and receive love.”

  Lexi managed a shaky smile. “I’ve been having lots of conversations with the Lord, Mom. He’s working on me.”

  “I’m so glad, dear.” Her mother brushed gentle fingers over the tears on Lexi’s cheeks. “You need to understand that God’s courtly manner extends to the version of Him that people refer to when they say they’re ‘in love.’ Even in matters of romantic love, there’s a choice. Yes, it’s taking a chance. But when it’s right—and you’ll know when it is—it’s a chance worth taking and worth risking your heart for.”

  Lexi hauled in a shaky breath and laughed softly. “How did you get so wise, Mother dear?”

  Mama smiled—the sweetest smile Lexi thought she would ever see—then bent forward to press a kiss on her cheek. When she sat back, she raised her thin, gray eyebrows high. “I guess God just gave me a little something extra.”

  9

  Bearing a tray loaded with coffee cups, sugar packets, and little tubs of liquid creamer, Mitch made his way down the long corridor leading to his dad’s room.

  Mom Martin’s room.

  Someday, he’d tell Lexi that her mother occupied the same Rosewood quarters in which his father had spent the last year of his life. But he wasn’t sure she was ready to know that just yet.

  He was thrilled with her change of heart where faith-related matters were concerned, but it was all so new to her. She might need an adjustment period before being asked to believe God had been at work all along to bring them together.

  If that’s what God was up to.

  Mitch thought it was, and on the one hand, he was on board with the idea. On the other hand, he wondered if God trusted him a little more than He should. Lexi—sweet, lovely, green-eyed Lexi—came with a whole passel of baggage. Her ex had left her with deep emotional scars, and Mitch didn’t have a clue how to help her deal with them. He was just a simple, country boy who happened to have an active imagination and a profound love for words.

  He was a self-taught writer, not a psychiatrist, psychologist, psychoanalyst—or any other kind of “psych-ist.”

  He shoved all those thoughts aside as he reached the room, pasted a cheery smile on his face, and stepped through the open doorway.

  “I guess God just gave me a little something extra.” Mom Martin’s voice wasn’t loud, but it carried clearly across the room.

  Mitch almost dropped the loaded tray in his hands. Something electric streaked down his spine and his mouth went dry.

  Those were the very words his father had used when Mitch inquired about his gift of foreknowledge. Was it mere coincidence that conversation had taken place right here in this very room?

  With the thought, a sudden burst of warm air swirled around him, and a soft sound like gently fluttering wings filled the air. Mitch’s pulse quickened, and his gaze flew to the two women, but they seemed unaware of anything but each other.

  Apparently that little reminder had been just for him.

  He swallowed hard, breathed in deep, and eased the tray onto a small table, allowing the slight rattle of cups and spoons to announce his return.

  “You’re back.” Lexi hurried across the room. “Mmm, that coffee smells heavenly. Here, I’ll fix Mama’s the way she likes it.”

  She smiled straight into his eyes, and Mitch was glad for the breath he’d just drawn, because he wasn’t sure he’d ever breathe easy again. When her hand brushed his arm, a flash of something sweet and pure and perfect flowed from her fingertips to the depths of his soul…and he knew.

  He loved Alexa Carlisle deeply and without remedy.

  She was wounded and scarred, and the road ahead was sure to hold some rough terrain, but if she’d let him, he’d travel it with her all the way. He’d be there while she healed and show her the kind of love she deserved. He’d hold her in his heart and cradle her in his arms when the process of healing brought pain and tears.

  He still didn’t know how to do it, but God did, and He’d be only too willing to fill in all the blank places.

  Mitch closed his eyes and sent a silent thank you heavenward for that special little private moment between God and him, but also because the miracle he’d prayed for was unfolding right before his eyes.

  Lexi’s mother knew her. His lovely angel had been given that longed-for chance to say “I love you.”

  Mitch sat with the ladies for a short time then kicked back in the easy chair he’d spent so many hours in before his father died. The two women deserved this time together, and he didn’t mind hovering in the background while they caught up on lost time.

  The hours flew by on swift wings, and Mitch rejoiced each time he heard the two exchange yet another “I love you.” But as the afternoon waned, Mom Martin’s sweet, faded eyes drooped despite their owner’s obvious desire to stay awake. Lexi sent Mitch out of the room while she helped her mother into a nightgown. When he returned, she was braiding silvery hair into a coil at the back of her mother’s head.

  As she tucked the older woman in and pulled the covers up to her chin, Lexi’s eyes glittered with unshed tears. When she’d done everything she could to make her mother comfortable, she crouched beside the bed. “I love you so much, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.”

  The faded blue eyes struggled open. “I love you too, sweet girl.” Her eyelids fluttered closed, then opened again. “Thank you, Alexa dear.”

  Soft laughter gurgled from Lexi’s throat, playing havoc with Mitch’s heart. She bent to kiss a petal-soft cheek. “For what, Mama?”

  “For being you, child. You’ve always been such a good girl.” The sheet over her chest rose and fell when a deep sigh broke her words, and then she continued as if there’d been no pause. “I’m so proud of you.” The words were followed almost immediately by a soft snore.

  Mitch crossed the room to place a hand on Lexi’s shoulder. “I think she’s had it, sweetheart.”

  “I know.” She nodded. “I just hate to leave her. It’s been such a beautiful day.”

  The snoring sounds stuttered to a stop. Tired eyes fluttered half open, and a sleepy voice whimpered into the dim room. “I want my baby. Lady, have you—” Her cloudy, confused gaze flicked from Lexi to Mitch and back. “Have you seen my little girl?”

  Lexi stiffened beneath his hand and then drew a shaky breath. “I’ll get her for you, sweetie.” She cast a harried glance around the room.

  Mitch spotted the doll she had brought on her last visit and placed it in her hands.

  She laid the little figure in her mother’s arms. A smile flitted across the precious face as she cuddled the doll close.

  Lexi watched for another five minutes or so, her sad gaze drinking in the lined features. Mitch waited in silence until she rose and took her purse from the utility table beside the bed.

  “I’m ready.” Her voice wavered, and her lips trembled a bit, but she managed a smile that rocked his world.

  He took her hand and opened it, finger by finger, until it lay flat in his own. His gaze held hers as he pressed a kiss into her palm. Then, still without speaking, he placed her hand on his arm, and they walked out together.

  Back in his car, they were silent as the vehicle sliced through the early twilight toward Angel Falls. Lexi had a lot to think about, and Mitch wanted to give her whatever time she needed to sort through it all.

  She finally spoke just as they reached the outskirts of town. “Mitch?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t know how to thank you.”

  Puzzled, he glanced her way in the dark interior of the car. “Thank me? For what?”

  “You told me that you would believe for me until I could do it for myself, and I know you did. So thank you—and thank God—for this day with my
mother. You couldn’t have given me a gift I would treasure more.”

  Mitch chuckled. “Oh, Lexi, honey, I didn’t do anything. You made your peace with God, and God always rewards our steps of faith.”

  “Still…” She laid a hand on his arm, just for a fleeting instant, then pulled it back, leaving him longing for her touch. “I know it was your faith that made this happen for me, and I’ll never forget it.”

  He reached across the seat and reclaimed the hand she’d placed in her lap. Snuggling it close inside his own, he smiled. “Neither will I.”

  He’d explain that another time. Right now, he just wanted to hold Lexi’s hand.

  ****

  Lexi awakened just before dawn and lay for a moment, gathering strength. Then she rose, slipped into a warm robe, and knelt beside the sofa to talk with the Lord. When she’d found the peace she sought, she opened her Bible and read one Psalm after another while she waited for the phone to ring. She couldn’t explain, even to herself, how she knew the call was coming, except that God had given her the beautiful gift of yesterday with her mother.

  Today, Mama would be with Him.

  When the phone rang, she wasn’t surprised to see “Rosewood” spelled out on the caller ID screen. She hauled in a deep breath and said hello, then listened while the director told her the news she already knew.

  “When?” she asked, and her voice remained steady. God had prepared her well.

  “Sometime around dawn. She went in her sleep, Lexi. It was a very peaceful passing.”

  “Yes, I know.” She didn’t bother to explain herself. “Thank you, Mrs. Allen. Should I come there?”

  “Not unless you feel you need to. We’ll package her belongings, and you can get them any time. We used the information you provided upon admission and called Angel’s Rest Mortuary. They picked Mrs. Martin up about an hour ago. I told them you’d contact them with further instructions.”

  “I’ll do that right away.” She paused, not sure how to end the conversation. “Thank you for everything. Mama couldn’t have received better care anywhere. I’m very grateful to all of you there at Rosewood.”

  “You’re welcome, Lexi. Mrs. Martin was a special lady, and you are too. I hope you’ll let us know when arrangements are made. I’d like to attend her service.”

  “I appreciate that, but Mama always insisted that she didn’t want a formal service. Her pastor and I will accompany her to the cemetery when she’s ready. He’ll say a prayer, and it’ll be over. I appreciate the thought, though.”

  “You know, this feels right to me. Your mother wasn’t one for fancy words and certainly not for being the center of attention. I’m glad you’re abiding by her wishes.”

  Lexi smiled and nodded, though the director couldn’t see her. “Thanks again, Mrs. Allen. Sincerely.”

  “You are most welcome. Good-bye, Lexi. I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “Thank you, but I’m really OK. My loss is Heaven’s gain, and Mama’s goal.”

  She grabbed a box of tissues from the end table, stepped onto her front porch and raised her teary gaze to the sky. “Well, Mama, you made it. Congratulations.” Her eyes filled with tears, but she smiled through the mist. “I’ll miss you so much, but I know you’re happier there than you were here.” She pulled a tissue from the box. Spring flowers and a smiling Mr. Sunshine danced across its bright surface, and Lexi smiled, thinking she’d never forget that gaudy box. It was so appropriate. “No more ‘leaky’ memory. No achy joints. No lonely days, no sadness. You’ve earned something better than that.”

  She stood silent for a moment while precious memories played like a slideshow in her mind. Then she dabbed at the corners of her eyes once again with a sodden tissue and smiled into the streaky horizon. “I’ll be along before you know it, Mama. Have a glorious time while you’re waiting, and hey, if you see our pretty friend with the golden eyes, thank her for me, OK?” One hand rose to finger the necklace she hadn’t removed the night before. “And tell her I’m doing what she said. I’m trusting in the Lord.”

  ****

  Mitch forced himself to stay within the posted fifteen-miles-per-hour speed limit inside Heart’s Haven. He wanted nothing more than to get to Lexi as quickly as possible.

  Mrs. Allen had called from Rosewood to tell him the patient he read to every week—the one who’d taken his father’s room—had passed away during the night. Mitch occasionally read to other patients in the facility, usually when a staff member requested he do so to help someone relax. But most of his attention was focused on room number seven. He felt close to his father there.

  And he’d keep up the practice for himself and for Lexi.

  But why hadn’t she called him? Didn’t she know he’d want to be with her?

  When she answered his knock on her door, Mitch was taken aback by her calm demeanor. She wore a royal blue sweater that gave her green eyes a new color that bordered on teal. The half-heart pendant hung on the outside of her outfit today, and black slacks and pumps told him she was on her way out.

  She greeted him with a serene smile. “Mitch, what are you doing here?”

  Not waiting for an invitation, he stepped inside and pulled her into his arms. “I heard, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

  He heard a dainty little sniffle. Nothing more. When she spoke, her voice remained steady. “Thank you. I’m all right. Really.” She pulled against the circle of his arms just enough to look into his face. “God prepared me for it. Before they ever called, I knew and had spent time in prayer.” She shook her head, and a quiet, joyful wonder lit her face. She looked radiant. Holy. Like an angel.

  A tiny line appeared between her eyebrows as her gaze moved over his tense face. “Are you OK?”

  He crushed her against his chest. She was not an angel. Lexi Carlisle was a woman...the woman he loved.

  “I’m fine,” he muttered into her hair. “Just worried about you.” He forced himself to release her and stepped back. “Were you headed out?”

  She nodded. “I’m on my way to Angel’s Rest to make arrangements for Mama’s burial.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  “Mitch…you don’t have to do that.” Her fingertips grazed his arm, burning their imprint into his skin like a brand. “You’re so sweet to offer, but surely the mortuary is the last place you want to be right now.”

  “You’re wrong about that.” He tucked her hand through his arm and led her to the door. “I want to be where you are, wherever that is.”

  “Well, I guess we’re on our way to Angel’s Rest then.” Her soft answer soothed his senses and eased the ache in his soul.

  She grabbed her purse on the way out the door, and didn’t even try to free her hand from his possessive hold.

  ****

  Two days later, Lexi stood at her mother’s graveside and tossed a handful of dirt on top of the simple casket. The whole little ceremony, simple though it had been, seemed to her an empty process. She found it hard to feel any connection with the body inside that pretty box. Mama no longer dwelt there, and without her essence, the cold, unresponsive form was nothing more than a vessel that had once housed someone she loved. She did not begrudge the time and effort involved in laying her mother’s earthly body to rest, but her heart knew that her mother lived on, in a much better place.

  She’d be missed, but even if Lexi had possessed the power to bring her back, she wouldn’t. Thinking of Mama smiling, happy, and young again was a blessing far greater than having her physically present but existing within the prison of an aged body and disconnected mind.

  Mitch had once more insisted on being with her despite her every argument. Never having enjoyed a normal marital relationship, she found herself half-frightened by his unfailing support, and concern.

  And yet, beneath that vague disquiet, something else had taken root.

  Trust. A part of her trusted Mitch, though being forced to admit it, even to herself, scared her almost senseless.

  When the familiar fe
ar loomed like a monster in the shadows of her mind, the words her mother had spoken on Mother’s Day worked a miraculous calm within her heart and reminded her to trust God. He would bring about whatever was meant to happen between Mitch and herself. Maybe they’d be for each other what was needed for a season and then move on to whatever came next.

  But something deep in her soul cringed. No, it blatantly rebelled at that possibility.

  Mitch had walked with Mama’s pastor to his car after the last amen. Now he moved up behind Lexi and slipped a strong arm around her waist. To his credit, he seemed content just to be there with her, and made no attempt to voice the well-meaning but empty words of “comfort” most people felt must be spoken at times like this.

  She backed away from the ugly hole in the ground. “Let’s get out of here.”

  They arrived back at Heart’s Haven to find Mr. Hart waiting outside Lexi’s gate. He shook Mitch’s hand and gave Lexi a terse nod. “Come with me.”

  Puzzled, she glanced at Mitch, who shrugged.

  The landlord led them directly to the rec room. His wife, Viv, stood outside the door, clearly watching for them. She greeted Lexi with a wide smile and a hug. “Come on inside. Everyone’s waiting, and we’re all hungry. I’m sure you are, too.”

  Lexi hesitantly walked through the door and gasped. The entire complex of tenants waited inside. Scattered about the large, open area, several round tables groaned beneath the weight of a veritable feast of good food.

  Wearing an apron and a huge smile, David waved a spatula at them from across the room, and Pia hurried over to hug Lexi. “Come on in, sweetie. We didn’t want you to have to worry about fixing a meal today.” She looped one arm through Lexi’s, bending close to speak in a stage whisper. “This is our way of letting you know that we’re here for you.” She stopped beside one of the tables. “Have a seat, both of you. Mr. Hart will pray over the food in just a moment, and then we can dig right in.”